Dusk

Dusk

Full name:	Dusk Daniel Ring
Occupation:	Nature Novelist & Youtuber
Birthday:	June 13, 1995
Age:	23
Height:	6'2"
Weight:	176lbs
Hair Colour:	Light Brown
Eye Colour:	Green
Played by:	Rafael Lazzini
Demeanor:	Hedonist (Bon Vivant)

Appearance:		(Alluring)
Charisma:
Style:
Fame:
Good Old Boy
Sexy
Supporter
Way with Words
Allergy (to latex, baby)

The light brown locks at his head appear to be in a state of artful disarray, with the hair at his crown longer by perhaps an inch or two then the short cropped hair at the sides. His beard is sparse, more of a perpetual five o'clock shadow, and expressive eyebrows, thin but dense, rest above his moss-green eyes. Even his forearms are in on the hairy act. He tops six feet by an inch or two, with a slender build, and looks to be in his early twenties.

Full Playlist
YouTube channel

Kumo ♫
I will follow you into the Dark.
Tavia
May you get what you deserve.
Cenn
There to give you an elastic hair tie.
Chandler
My irregular hair brusher.
Rebecca
She took my wallet.
Thana
Pretty lucky with the strip poker.
Hallai
Very friendly; met at the park.
Hayden
You didn't meet me at my best.
Starr
No matter what happens; we'll always be connected now.
Tabia
I asked for it. It's not your fault.
Andrew
Expect the unexpected.
Mary Sue
Small. Lamentable. Explosive.
Meilin
There are no noodles in xiaolongbao.
Journey
Appreciate your music choice, but little else.
Vesta
Someone's got a cute baby, with kung-fu grip.
Silvana
We circle the drain, friends.
Carica
Cute, but, NUU! LEGGO MY EYEOS!
Drug dealer
You gave me good drugs, new buddy.
Andy
You seem like a nice guy, I wish you'd return your phone calls.
Svetlana
This face: she makes martial aids. Can you imagine?
Kiyara
Seems nice, with photogenic food.
Nycci
Weird taste in snacks, but nice person.
Dex
Great guy, quick to help a friend.
Oren
I met someone famous and left them alone.
Phil
Dancing. Table dancing, party of two.
Adora
I've been called far worse names by far better people.
Carver
Feel free to smoke where ever, this is still America.
Brohain
Trip to Las Vegas and get The Snap. There's a story.
Miyo
I had a great time, but now it's your turn.
Jin
Staahhpp talkin' about my blushin'!
Cadie
No, YOU'RE the sociopath! No, you!
Mitzi
My live-in love; loss lamented.
Itto
If she likes you, you have to be nice!
Liam
You keep a good, chaotic shop
Revi
Rainbow powers, ACTIVATE!
Paul
It's true, she'll eat your eyes!
Robert
You fling a mean cane, across the room.
Tabitha
Coke bottles, huh? I'm drinking Pepsi now.
Lucie
Don't even joke about stealing and eating her babies.
Byron
Robot arms and reading books; NERD! :)
Arianna
Celebrity DISH and fashionably delicious.
Angie
The things some people read. Demons? FEH!
Yuri
Hey, ever consider not picking up boys on the beach? Asking for a friend.
Percy
If I'm ever in a spot of bother, or need a babysitter.
Alecto
A new mom to a litter of kids.
Peyton
And if you saw this at your door, you'd shout too.
Elias
Lifting others up is a Nobel pursuit.
Dragomir
Come into my home, won't eat a doggie biscuit shaped cookie. What a grumpy gus.
Bronwyn
Maybe she just acts weird around me?
Sumter
Pretty fly for an old guy.
Brooke
Thanks for listening to me just blather on and on.
Bean lover
Thanks for reminding me of what's precious to me... dude?
Halona
Thanks for the kind words, though, enjoy the adVENTure!
Hyo
Silent, but empathetic. Thank you for helping me forget my gaff.
Michael
If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, what's a mouse in the pocket worth?
Montana
Firm handshake, nice daughter.
Kira
Nice voice, likes 'em aged. Higher than normal on the Asperger's scale.
Furio
Old spice and cigar smoke; that's what you remind me of.
Molly
Find myself staring, had to leave before I was erring.
Antonio
Did you..? Hit on me? Nice hair though.
Lawrence
Next year; glittered, hung from a pole, and dropped for New Year.
Doug
Friendly enough to give me drugs when my carob brownie was knocked from my hands by Phat Smurf.
Carys
That. That was some costume; how you didn't freeze your tits off, I'll never know.
Lincoln
I think you're the only one with an actual name. Or where at least willing to share it.
Alexa
Alexa, please stop calling me D-ring.
Camille
I nearly cried over spilt Chai; thanks for the warning!
Branton
Insigated a conversation with me based on a lie. Uncool.
Jasen
That's the ugliest mutt I've ever seen.
Acacia
Thanks for the concern, sorry you got wet.
Carolyn
Sorry you had to takeoff. Ugh, lame joke.
Alexander
Silent and Fabio.

02/03/18 — Turns out I was wrong. I guess you don't get ahead in business by taking weekends off; both Publicist and the Publishers answered my texts, her first. She'd advised caution with my wording, I suppose I hadn't been in the best of moods lately. But like she'd said, they weren't happy but they also weren't willing to die on this movie thing either. I think she was right, that it was just a dispute between the movie studio and them, and they wanted to be able to say that I had a problem with it too. Fun stuff, like my life isn't complicated enough already. Seeing as how mid-terms are going up, I spent most of the day cured up with my text books. Twice the classes, just about, means I should have been studying just about twice as hard. Went out for a bike ride after dark to the club house for a change of scenery, but the place was pretty empty. A snack and coffee, and I curled up in a corner, with a book for a couple of hours. Then it was time to go back home.

02/02/18 — Since there weren't any classes for me today, I thought maybe I could stalk the University and see if I could find my personal trouble maker. While I was on the elliptical, I was thinking about everything I would do, or say when I finally caught up to her. And through eggs and bacon twirled my wedding ring around my finger. I think that's becoming either a nervous or thoughtful habit. Gave the wife a quick smooch on the cheek goodbye after she showed me what she was working on; as usual, it looked almost as beautiful as she does and I let her know that. Nearly ended up staying, but I'm a man with a mission.
At school I acted like a stalker. For about a half hour, creeping around Biology areas, but then I realized I don't know her whole name. Don't know her schedule. Don't know anything about her other than she likes to tell stories. I ran into a couple of people from my classes I did know. Smile, friendly nod. And then the two worst people to run into, Ben and Blake. I saw Blake see me first and tap Ben before pointing me out and they headed in my direction. Along the way Ben was talking and when they got close enough I could hear it was about my conquests. ConQUESTS. I just can't win, and Ben gloated telling me he knew that I was a dog too and now that he knew the kind of girls I was into he'd help me out. I made the mistake of saying I didn't need help, and not something like, none of it is true. Blake agreed, said I was doing fine on my own. Strange world to have him on my side, until I realized, so much long after the conversation was over, what exactly he meant. There wasn't any convincing either of them, so I threw up my hands and went home.
Stayed indoors the rest of the night because going outside was not working out for me. She Who Shall Be Obeyed and I had a movie night, and somewhere in there I decided what I was going to do about the whole movie and book situation. I mass-texted the Publishers and the Publicist after hours. I expect that Monday I'll hear about it.

02/01/18 — In the morning, over breakfast, the wife could tell something was bothering me. And when she asked me about it, I wasn't sure how to tell her about it. I mean, how do you tell your wife that you're getting a certain reputation even though you're not doing anything (now) to deserve it. I'd like to say I'm good at changing the topic. I'd like to say that I'm good at telling her it's nothing. But I know I'm not, and I know when I do those things, she leaves it alone, rather than prying. So I told her a little bit, it was something at school. Having trouble with one of the people there, getting along with them. Bless her, she offered some advice while we finished and cleaned up. Side note: If we're so wealthy, why don't we have someone doing this for us? Someone in a cute little dres-- dude.
Anyways, morning class came and went and I was hardly paying attention to the pre mid-term preamble. I was just looking, I don't know, forward?, to the next class.
At lunch I was kind of distracted still, thinking about what was coming.
Finally, Organic Chemistry, and I went looking for her right away. She was sitting with two others, her pack I guess, and then I hesitated. If I try to talk to her then, I put her on the defensive and her friends will go on the attack. And if I wait it out, then my guts keep twisting. Class crept along, and like the masochist I am, I felt every twist. When the class was over, they tried to make good their escape, and I tried to go after her, hoping to catch her by the door but wouldn't you know it, the woman that sits next to me, she wanted a ride home too. I was in a hurry, I was trying to catch up to the rumor mill, and just said something affirmative, I don't even remember what, so she'd get out of my way. Maybe I was a little louder than I'd meant to be, looking back. Anyways, I didn't catch up with her, and to make things worse, after Yu Yan got off the motorcycle and was looking at me expectantly I realized then what she was thinking was going to happen. I apologized, stammered that I had to get home; the wife was expecting me. Blushed, tried not to meet her gaze, and left as soon as she said good bye. Good grief.

01/31/18 — Morning breakfast and then my meditation before my morning jog. Before school I got to sneak in some snuggle time with the wife, but it was quick because I had to go after the morning rituals. When I got to school though, Ben and Sam attacked me from behind. Ben was extremely happy, and congratulated me. Sam not so much, asked me how I could have done it. I was, like, huh? Totally confused, the only thing I'd done was to stuff celery sticks in my mouth. Ben patted me on the shoulder and told me he'd heard about it from Lisa, who she is I'm not sure, that heard it from three other women's names, that the women I drove home the other night was telling people that she and I had hooked up. If only I was indoors, I'da hit the roof. It took a lot of innocence protesting before I had to go to class; Sam at least looked skeptical, but Ben. Ben I think likes to think everybody is as much a dog as he is. He wasn't buying any of it. Wait until I catch up with her tomorrow.

01/30/18 — Another long day at school; and I got to burn off some time while waiting between classes at the fraternity house with the guys. Sports games aren't my thing usually, but when the guys around talking smack with each other make it much more fun. After the second class, one of the women there asked me if she could get a ride home. I only had the one helmet, so I had to be sure not to get pulled over or anything. It wasn't like she lived all that far away. Then the awkward part when she tried to thank me and I had to show her the ring. But she wasn't taking no for an answer, asking if the wife was here now and when I said no, she put her arms around my shoulders and told me then she'd never know. I almost fell off the bike to get away from her when she leaned forward to kiss me. And while that amused her to no end, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Yeesh.

01/29/18 — Hooray. The start of another week of school and a surprise test. Boo. That said, I don't mind this professor. He's actually pretty good at it, throwing all the bits of information out there and making sure that they stick. And if they don't, he has some pretty wide office hours so, I suppose, if I had to balance it out, not so bad. Doing alright, Genetics isn't my favorite thing in the world. Well, some parts of it. But as long as She who Must Be Obeyed keeps riding me to study and I keep up I'll make it through this and the next term. Bought a new jacket to make up for the one I gave away. Luckily I had my phone in my front pocket or some stranger would be getting all my sexts. Ha!

01/28/18 — Woke up early in the morning, probably from the nap the night before. Wife had appreciated how pretty I looked for her after the trip to the spa. Afterwards, she had to go to town, and I waited until she was gone before I went on a trip to the woods. I met some new people that didn't introduce themselves. I saw way more full frontal then I wanted to, and gave away my jacket to help cover him up. I dunno when I came such a prude, or maybe it's just that I wasn't expecting spontaneous bits and tackle. As expected, I drove off people when I started to play, but then that's why I was there, to practice. After a couple of glares, I went back home to the nudity I thoroughly enjoy.

01/27/18 — Went to the spa after the morning stuff. Still trying not to worry about the ultimatum. I'm still not sure why this is being laid down at my feet and exactly what the issue was. I was so upset I could hardly focus on the YouTube channel. Managed to get through the editing, and reading the comments. Man, why do I read those comments? Some of them can be pretty good, but otherwise, the majority of them are really out there. The whole cloning thing turned into a religious argument and how the science is evil. Not my typical kind of comments. I took a ride to escape, and went to the clubhouse, and yet again, had the place to myself. Gave me a lot of time to think and I was able to take a nap upstairs before I went back home.

01/26/18 — Got a call in the morning. The publishers, along with their boss. The publicist was on the line too. It kinda felt like I'd been called into the Principal's office. They weren't happy that You'll Be Fine was being turned into a movie and the direction it was heading in. Talked to me about it, and told me they have the option to void my contract if I don't see things their way. Before he hung up, the boss told me he liked my progress, though, and the book I'd submitted. They were still doing research and submitting corrections however. When they hung up I had to weigh my options, but the publicist told me not to make any decisions about it just yet. Take some time to think about it, because of how far from my book the script is, she thinks if we gave them time, they'll not care if it gets released or not. Caught up with some of the television shows I'd missed during the week, and bummed around the home. I really do think I'll go Honest Company for the baby, I like the name. The government wouldn't let them take it if they weren't honest, right?

01/25/18 — Morning meditation, and then worked up a sweat before I went to class. Had my long break at Roasters and got a chance to study my Genetics book in silence. Mostly silence, I mean I was in a cafe after all. After Chem I found my usual spot at the Union was occupied so I just went home to do my studying there and ended up clinging on the wife like she's my air, my water, my food. And I'll keep doing that until I'm served with the cease and desist papers. Worked on those videos to add to my channel; explain the process on how it was done, how many fetuses were needed just for those two primates to get born, and how far away we actually are from being able to just get a new body when your current body breaks down. Don't have to go to school in the morning, so I stayed up late, just working on that.

01/24/18 — Between classes, I read that the people of the Chinese Academy of Sciences managed to clone the first primates successfully. Macaque clones, and they'd been trying for twenty years. Man, I might get a new clone body everytime I get old, like forty or something. Technology is pretty awesome. I'm going to have to make some videos about that. If I even could body swap like that, how much could I even remember? Would I even want to live forever? After class, I took a break from my diet and had dessert at Patisserie Fantastique while I read some of that book I bought at the Farmer's market. It isn't wrong information, but it is kinda sexist. Sandy's a polite girl, and always wears dresses. Oh, boy.

01/23/18 — Long day at school. It didn't go so well, this professor believes in surprise examinations, and class has only just started for crying out loud. I'd heard that there was going to be a protest, and I wanted to go, but I had class and a wife that'd kick my booty if I skipped it in order to protest the man keeping us down. As it is, I didn't hear how bad it, the protest, had gotten until after I got there and saw some of the damage. Trash in the street, cars vandalized. There was probably blood in the street too, at least I think it was blood. I went home while there was still some confusion going on, and had to duck out of the way of some police that thought I was part of it, but I managed to get home ok

01/22/18 — Good old school. Worked out with the better half which is always nice; I like seeing her getting sweaty, breathing heavily, bouncing. I think we timing it the way we do so that there isn't enough time to get romantic after because I have to run off to school. Except on those days that there is. There wasn't much going on at school though, and after it, I went to the clubhouse. I had the place pretty much to myself for a couple of house so I got some studying done, and homework, before I went home in time for dinner -- it was my turn to cook after all.

01/21/18 — Woke up alone. Wife was gone, but left a text letting me know where she'd gotten to. Hawaii for the day with some guy. I guess she's off to get lei'ed, oh, I crack myself up. I guess if she's going to be gone for the day, I might as well go see how my baby is doing. A bit of a drive, but I hung out with Shooting star for awhile. It's sad, but she's still unhappy, and I wish there was something I could do other then just come visit her every couple of weeks. I try to pass along news about what's going on, but I'm really not the best person for that. My whole new makeover means usually just going somewhere and then back home. Lingering gets me in trouble. Even now, with her, I know we're alone but also not alone. I got a new picture to add to the collection which was nice and got to spend the afternoon with her before I had to head back. Got home just before she did and showed her the newest picture. And, thanked her for being so awesome about everything. Even though there hasn't been any word about if we're going to get to keep the baby, it's about time to start baby proofing, getting ready. Talking about diapers -- I'm thinking Honest Company, I like the name. She said something about carving a crib. I'm not sure how she got greeted in Hawaii, but I made sure to make up for it.

01/20/18 — Woke up this Saturday with a weird feeling that I couldn't shake all throughout my morning rituals and that's when it finally hit me. With the book finished, I didn't really have anything to do. Workwise. So I cleaned up around the house a little; there's a bajillion rooms, but we hardly use any of them, and then looked up something to make some videos on, and let my channel know what was going on with me, book being finished there'd be more channel content, maybe. Thought about watching some television, but that didn't appeal. Then I rearranged the books in the library. I realized I was super bored, so I went for a walk. I found the Sprouts Farmers Market while exploring my new city. I wandered around for a bit, bought a book explaining human sexuality from the 1950s. When I got home I added the book to the library all willy-nilly because I'm a rebel. Then I parked my butt on the sofa, and got my textbooks out, put the television on and vegged out.

01/19/18 — Spent the better part of the day at home, watching the Better Half doing work on the garden and with the orchard. Looks like really tiring work, still, so I brought her out something to drink again when I wanted to make sure she should take a break. Fielded a phone call from Mom. She wanted to know how I was doing, how work was, what was going on with school, the guys at the frat that I've not technically joined, the baby. Everything, just calling to catch up I guess, until she told me that one of my sisters looks like she was getting serious with a fella back home and he's something of a big deal, so good for her. After we hung up I realized that Mom didn't ask about the Wife, sorta weird, but I didn't think anything about it. Later that evening, went to Roasters. Saw a couple of my rave friends there, Hair and Dreads. Which, I guess, are kinda similarly nicknamed. Anyhow, I overheard them talking about jobs, and Hair introduced me to his assertive, but silent boyfriend, and then mentioned that he had some kush for me but not on him. So I gave him an advance, I can understand the starving artist/student type, and left my digits on his phone before I went back home, wondering why it is now that it's legal, we aren't growing our own. Not that I'm super into cannabis.

01/17/18 — Weather was actually kinda nice, so after getting some payback early awakenings, I went out for a jog, or a limp, in the cold air. Considered life after I got back and then a quick breakfast and off to school before I got another swat. Once there, the first class went by uneventfully. But before I could get to Critical Writing, I had an hour to kill. Popped over to Roasters for a tea, and ran into Sam, we chatted for a bit, about nothing really, chewed up my hour long lunch and then it was back to school. After I took a drive out to the clubhouse, and I guess I fell asleep. Got woken up by Lark, and we talked for a bit; poor woman, having trouble at home, can't get any sleep because her neighbor is, well, me. Sung Trey Songz, I bet the neighbors know my name. Well that's her, one of the neighbors. Thought she was a professional and then I think she asked me because she thinks I'm such a player. Yeah, if only. I guess? She went upstairs for some sleep, I finished my coffee and went home finally., study s'more.

01/16/18 — Groan, school. Totally not looking for it considering the evening class. But it's the rough part of being an adult, said Dad, like all the time, is all the responsibilities that go with it. He'd smile knowingly everytime I said I wished I were an adult because then I could do anything I wanted. Smug son-of-a. Love you, Dad, have a laugh at the young me. More phone calls, I'm going to get the script tomorrow. I'm slightly disappointed that I don't get any sort of rights on it. Other than paying me for it, it's really not mine anymore, changing the title and basically everything else about it. Still, those things can take years, and I was told it's actually a good thing since my contract has a non-compete clause in it, and this might have counted. The wife went to run errands in the city, so I stayed home for a bit longer since I was taking so many phone calls, but when it was time to go, I had to go. Didn't see any of the guys at school, kinda good, then hung around the Union again until about nine, and then came back home to mah baby.

01/15/18 — Today wasn't an exciting day. Stayed in the house. Dome. I stayed in the Tit on the Hill, hung out either with the wife or by myself throughout the day. Researched and wrote a little more, and then started to think about titles. Bounced ideas off my better half's head, looking for one that'll stick, but still no joy. With the book title, plenty of joy with the wife. Watched a bit of television, and then went back to look at the previous comments on my videos. Oh, boy, what a mistake that was. Give a person a bit of anonymity and just watch them do things that they, hopefully, wouldn't do in person. Sat around while taking a break, took a phone call from the publicist, and watched some Netflix. Not much going on. Oh, well, except that the movie script was greenlit. You'll Be Fine, the movie. Sort of, they don't like the title (harumph) so it'll be under a different name, but still. Cool.

01/14/18 — Sunday morning, not so bad. Did the usual morning routine, lounged about for awhile before I got some more work done. The wife needed to run some errands, and had to go into town, so I bummed a ride from her, and got dropped off at Roaster's. Spent a while there, watching music videos, youtube in general, people watching, until a woman came in dressed like she was in some branch of the military. A flight suit, she called it, when she started conversation up with me. Just an idle bit of chitchat to pass the time, until Blueeyes had to run off. Fly off? I hung around a little longer until the wife showed up and we went home together. I was happy, right up until I remembered it was Monday tomorrow. But then I remembered that it was the 15th, so it'd be Martin Luther King, Jr. day. So another day off. So I was happy, until I remembered that that means it's only a two day school day, so I was ecstatic. Wife was introspective on the ride home. She's probably thinking about some project or something, she clearly has something on her mind.

01/13/18 — Early to bed, early to rise, and if I had to get up then I don't see any reason why the wife shouldn't be either. So I woke her up carefully, and spent the next couple of hours just enjoying her company. Wore a smile for the rest of the day while we exercised and then I had my private time to center myself. Didn't feel much like doing any work, so I checked what was said yesterday on the channel. Sure enough, all sorts of people with all sorts of opinions, letting me know what I forgot. What I forgot was to say it was super basic history, but even then; 'You can please some of the people all of the, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time,' said John Lydgate. I'd heard there was going to be a thing over at the clubhouse, and I intended to go, but I didn't get far towards the door when I encountered She Who Must Be Obeyed wearing her work out clothes. I'm pretty sure they sell yoga pants in the lingerie department -- or they ought to. Got to the clubhouse just in time to be the last person there but the hostess and her boyfriend. Since hiking with my equipment tired me out, I sang for my supper, sort of. Screeched? Caterwauled? Broke glass with my voice. Played the wife's song, it was that or another one I like but wasn't mine, and the audience picked. After that, there was a bit of conversation, then a hike back to the van. At least it was mostly downhill.

01/12/18 — Seeing as how it's my day off, decided to get some work done on the channel. Found really nothing to talk about; all the news I listen to is about California's pot laws. Everybody's really excited about it. So, I guess, if it's what the public wants then I ought to write something. Little opinion piece ("Hooray!"), and a history about the illegalization of it in the first place. I didn't go into it so deeply, figuring everybody on my channel would know all this stuff already. Then it was back to work. Sent in a couple more chapters, rounding the corner I think. Shouldn't take too much longer now. Unless the edits are really a beast like the last one. My turn to cook, and I found a recipe I wanted to try. After about an hour and a half, way to much lorighittas with shrimp, mussels, and orange. Over ate, so I went to bed early.

01/11/18 — Morning stuff found us working out together; the family that sweats together... does a lot of towel washing? I dunno, didn't think about that one. Genetics in the morning, Organic Chem in the evening. Stopped by Roasters on my way from, and hung out at the Union, eating off campus just to avoid the guys for a couple of days. Listened to some classic music, updated my playlist and found the playlist I'd made for when Bunny and I... maybe I'll see if She Who Must Be Obeyed would like any of 'em. Or I could just flush it. Late dinner at home with the wife, then a snuggles on the sofa watching The Magicians. Freakin' Finger-wigglers. She likes to watch Mythbusters, and sits through Project Runway with me. Though when one of us gets bored, our attention usually drifts. Weirdest kinda honeymoon, but I like it.

01/10/18 — Woke up and just chilled, reading news on my phone when the wife came in and gave me breakfast in bed. But I had that after my dessert, to work up an appetite. Wish I could have napped after but had to get ready for school. Drug myself to class, and at lunch met some of the guys again. Ben's with a new girl, told me the other one was to uptight. Cue gross jokes. I said my goodbyes as quick as I could rather then make a scene. School was otherwise not entertaining; after class I stuck at the Union, reading ahead, then I went home.
Found a message waiting for me by someone I didn't know. They said they had news about a situation of Bunny's. If she's in trouble, I'd want to help, so I made arrangements to go meet up. Turns out it was less about news -- no, it wasn't about news at all. That was a lie to get me to meet him. It was about a baseless accusation; had I invited Bunny over during the storm to engage in inappropriate activities with her. I had to set him straight more then once, since he was a little dubious about my love life which, really, none of his business, even if he is friends with The Wife. He wouldn't give up who told him, but I have my suspicions. If he had, I probably could have given him a motive for why he was lied to. Meh.
It wasn't all downhill, though. Met some ok people, and a massive... pet rat. One of them, people not rat, reminded me a little of The Wife. ... had I not been distraught. Went home, told the wife about what her new boyfriend did, while getting frisky, and left her confused. She follows after me, let me know it wasn't over.

She's a darling woman. And I found that what I like about her is her strength. Not physical, though she certainly has that, but of her character.

01/09/18 — Slept in a bit, then went to my morning Genetics class, came back home because the next one wasn't until the evening. Time to do some work. Wrote a little, a very little, and did some video work. She Who Will Not Be Disobeyed was out, working on another piece, so I took a solo nap. Life of the rich and dozing. I suddenly realized why it is that all evil rich people do weird things. It's because they're just bored and want something to do. Like. You know, world domination, or making hamsters wear tiny jetpacks and suicide vests and then realizing you ought to have given them a fanatical devotion to you and your image first when you have to hire a misfit team of mercenaries to clear out the rogue elements.
If that's not a movie, then it should be. Matt Damon should play the professor. Or one of the hamsters. Or both. Am I having a flashback from the Rave?

01/08/18 — Went to my morning class. No, seriously, waking up before the sun really sucks. Then it was lunch and after, my afternoon class. Saw Sam while eating. He apologized that my bachelor party didn't go over so well. He seemed genuinely unhappy that he got to miss out on all the fun. Ben, and his girlfriend De Jour, that means 'of the day', joined the conversation. Ben was looking forward to the strippers. Sam was, like, they weren't for him. And Ben replied, that they would have been. I chuckled, because he could have them, Sam wasn't impressed, and his girl elbowed him in the ribs and then left in a huff. Being the gentleman that he was, Ben let her leave.
Back at home I finally worked up the courage to serenade the wife with the song I made for her. I'm certainly not good, but I guess I got the A for the effort. She didn't even let me get past the first chorus, so I guess anytime I feel like having snuggle time, I can just whip out my refrain. After a nap, went to Roasters. Met a pretty outgoing woman, who knew Sunrise's boyfriend when he showed up. Chatted for a while, before I realised how late it was, made my excuses and went home.

01/07/18 — Pretty normal day at home. Although I've been told I am, I'm no God, but even that guy took a day off. Did the morning stuff, and then some videos for the YouTube guys, like Hippie Jack and his wife helping the less fortunate people around the Appalachia. Nice people. Still, no rest for the wicked, had more research to do, and I wanted to study ahead in the textbooks. Whilst cuddling on the couch watching television with the wife it came to me that this whole thing is going to make me a scientist. A NERD. I can't tell anyone and the realization made me make a face, and She Who Must Be Obeyed asked me about it. All I said was nerd. She thought I was calling her a nerd, so I caught a pillow to the face. Which prompted a chase through the house. Don't tell anyone, but I really love that woman.

01/06/17 — Woke up in the caravan. Sore, and I would have been cold if it weren't for the heater. When I took a look around, apparently I was in the desert but fortunately GPS could find me. I don't remember much about yesterday -- I guess that would be Friday, there was a rave out by where the wife lived. Well, or lives? She's still keeping her Bachelorette pad, so I guess lives. Didn't have much to do. I worked it out on my schedule so every weekend is a long weekend. Not hard with 12 credits. Jog, centered, made a nuisance of myself. Wrote, researched, got some calls. Big things, maybe. I ate up my time before the rave, but I still got there early, and left when the ground started to spin, but met some nice people. I think. I'm sure I did. I remember there was a brownie. With blueberries? Or one big blueberry. And a didgeridoo. I think I remember there being breasts, like, all over the place. And I didn't wake up in some stranger's bed, just in the back of the van. I guess I made it out, eventually, and parked in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, god. And there was this guy. I don't remember his name. He had hair longer than mine used to be, and I think he was hitting on me? He told me he wanted something sucked, so I tried to get him to hit on a girl there, but she flaked, so that's unfortunate. I make for a poor wingman, and probably couldn't seduce my way out of a wet paper bag.
Uh! Someone made me drop my special brownie. Aww, man.

I remember waking up and dreaming that I was cuddling with a coyote. Weird, right? When I got home it was still ungodly o'clock. Woke the wife up so she knew I made it home ok. Took a nap, then my normal morning stuff and then the shower. Cracked the spines on my textbooks, until I went looking through yesterday's jacket for my phone. Found a joint. Why not, I deserve a break. Puff, puff, pass, right, so I made sure the wife got some too. Took another nap after eating some snacks and when I woke up, it was already a quarter past late PM. Didn't feel like cooking, so I took my studying stuff to WaffleMania. Met some people from the Rave and Lark. We talked about DiscoTits among topics. But Lark wasn't feeling so well, so I offered we leave, saying goodbye to Hair and Dreads. Went back to the clubhouse where she tried to convince me to take a shower and I told her about the GMOs in her steak. I won. Then it was to home. To sleep.

01/04/18 — Genetics, before the evening class of Organic Chemistry, went into Roasters. I saw Bunny there. Briefly. No sooner had I entered then she dashed out. I guess she's avoiding me now. That. I'm not going to lie, that hurts. I guess I felt more for her than she had for me and now that we're done, we can't even be friends. I cheered myself up with some pictures of kittens; it's what the internet is for after all, right? A little before six thirty, I bandaged up my bleeding heart and sullenly went to class, then back home. Evening classes are so fun. I'm looking forward to more of this like a, a. I dunno, an extra hole, or something.

01/03/18 — The day started like it normally does; me wishing that I had a few more days off. But no such luck. Time to get back into my routine, only now I have to set aside some time to center myself and just be. She Who Must Be Obeyed gave me a right smooching, told me she had a delivery to make. I saw her take something out from her forge out back while I was putzing around and out to the car. Making a delivery. Shuffling over to Campus, I spent the majority of my day there, happy day. First class was Genetics at a normal hour. The professor went over the standard stuff, and that chewed up a majority of the time. After that, wasted some time at Muir Woods with a coffee, because my next class, Critical Writing was in an hour and a half. Enough time to go home and back, but The Wife probably wasn't back home so I figured why bother. After that, went to the Union, and lounged out with the Genetics book. Saw an incredible girl coming in, get something from the vending machine. Swear she's a model or something, and when I found I was staring I just had to get out of there before I got myself into more trouble. Went home since I didn't have any other classes. Wife was home, but I missed dinner. Went to the studio to work on my videos and her gift; redid yesterday's entry rather than repost the whole thing. Now; how do I deliver it to her? Do I really want to torture her with song?

I Do
Every time I see you go,
   I want to stop, to tell you no.
Pull you near, to tell you, Dear,
   That every departure makes me tear.

Until the stars grow old,
   'til they turn dark, go cold.
I will love you, cherish you,
   'til the end of time; I do.

When we met we were with others,
   And when we spoke we ignored our mothers.
Don't fall in love too fast, sorrow is forecast,
   That it is sure never not to last.

[Chorus]

I've made mistakes, they seem to swell,
   From a tarnished pedestal I fell.
And throughout it all, never have I doubted,
   Your love was touted, from the hilltop I've shouted.

[Chorus]

As our love matures, ages like wine,
   I know that I am yours, and you are mine.
For now. For ever. Until the end of my lifespan,
   Because it's plain to scan, you make me a better man.

[Chorus]
'til the end of time; I do. (x2)

01/02/18 — Last day off before going back to school. Boo. Tried going out for my jogging outside, but it was really to cold in my usual running outfit, so I went back to the elliptical in the warmth of home. At least the snow is gone. Or mostly gone. Peaced out for a bit with the meditation and then back to the grind with the book for awhile when I saw the wife outside, digging up the peach trees that aren't going to make it. Shame too, I had plans for those trees. And her. But being the caring husband I am, I took some tea out to her and took a look at the damage while I made her take a break from digging up the trees. She turned down my offer to help, which is good. I might get a callus or splinter and bleed to death. Told her of my plans to take Human Reproduction just as an excuse to ask her to help me with my homework. Old broad. Old broad she called herself. Silly girl, she's not any older than I am. I took my reward for bringing her something warm and went back to work until she came back in from outside and gave me a look. Curiosity got the better of me, so I followed her, and I'm glad that I did.
In the evening, went to 'Mania to have a short stack of virgins. While I was there, I wrote something for her. I didn't get weepy at all. And if I tell her that, she'll probably call me on it. Ugh, my love for her is palpable. I hope this feeling never goes away. Maybe I'll turn these words into a song and play it for her.

01/01/18 — While the cat's away, the mice will... write on their book while they still have a couple of days left before school starts on the third and, because none of his classes are offered in the summer, he has to take a full-time student class load. Awesome. Choke me. So, did that. Then got the studio setup, mostly well. I tweeted out a live broadcast, got some people. Turned into an impromptu AMA, mostly focused on where I was living, and information about the wife. I try not to include her too much there, not unless she wants to, like the make-up episode, so averted questions on that end. Then I recorded some videos, put off editing them until tomorrow, and wrote some more in the living room.
It occured to me that I hadn't seen Shooting star in awhile, so I got on the bike, and drove to see her and to hear about any new developments. Baby's doing well. She's melancholy about the changes to her body, the bloating, the bladder. I tried to say the right thing, but I'm just the guy that did this to her. I got more than one pillow thrown at me. We sang a lullaby to her bump, I filled her in with what was going on, and there was a fight too, but I had to remember that, as horrific as it sounds, she was dealing with a lot. She asked me to come by more often when I was getting ready to go. I didn't promise, but I'll see, and she gave me a new sonogram. I still don't want to know the gender, but I could tell by her smile that she knows.
When I got back, I went to the clubhouse since it was a close stop. Ran into Red's Dad, and his, Date? I'm not exactly sure, but they were cuddly. As well as the Old Man. After something to eat, I went home, and put up this sonogram with the other on the fridge. After I finish writing this, I get to slip into bed with the best woman ever. I'm happy.📷

12/31/17 — Dear Diary,
Not much to talk about. Grabbed a few more things from the apartment and signed the last of the paperwork and handed over my keys after I did the last walk around. The Wife was out, she's spending a lot of time out nowadays. Gave me time to unpack boxes and pee in all the corners to mark my territory. Ok, maybe not that last one. Maybe. She was back in time for the evening, all prettified, and promptly chided me to not ruin her hair or make-up. We had a fun time at the party, though. Apparently the wife knew some people that knew some people. Either way, it was an excuse to get fitted for proper evening wear and drink things that I would pale to think how much they would cost. Too many such things as it turns out. I was a little flush by the time the countdown came and made sure that her first kiss of the year was, hopefully, something she'd remember and compare to the next.
I might have made a spectacle. No, I definitely made a spectacle of myself; I remember my hands kind of roamed where they oughtn't in public. She made excuses and we went home, where I showed her what I'd done in the ballroom, there at the doorway. And in the kitchen, the living room and I would have in the hall too, but I think her gown zipper was stuck.
Happy New Year, me.

12/30/17 — Hottie wanted to talk, sent me a text. It'd been awhile since I spoke with her. Last time was just a brief 'Hey' at Halloween when she was dressed up like a sexy cop. She said she wouldn't dress up in the costume again, much to my disappointment. I went into the city, She Who Must Be Obeyed had already left, and got a few more things packed. The Coral Reef manager thought it was very fortuitous that I moved out so soon before the storm. I had to just shrug and smile; I guess I didn't realize how lucky I was. Moved out just about all of it. I should be finished by tomorrow, let the mover's move the heavy stuff.
With all that taken care of, it was time to meet Leather Pants. She was gorgeous, as always. I had to remember why I wasn't allowed to date her while sitting down. We caught up a bit, talked mostly about She Who Must Be Obeyed, a topic I could talk about Ad nauseam, and a little about what was going on with her, before she got to what she wanted to ask. Something about my Christmas visitors, and not the one I thought she meant, just Richie Rich and Bunny. I guess I confirmed some things for her, and that's all that was necessary. I was feeling some pangs for Bunny, after talking about her, and Leather Pants helped talk me off the edge. Gave me some free advice, too. Not to overthink gift giving with She Who Must Be Obeyed. I'll give it a try.

12/29/17 — Another day with my best friend. Binged the heck outta Black Mirror and I got a text from Sam. He apologized for how the bachelor party turned out and I'd really forgot about it and when he reminded me, I was actually really relieved. The last thing I'd need is some complication mixing up my home-life, as fragile as it now. She Who Must Be Obeyed changed out her hair. Again. Just when I started getting used to the aquamarine now it's. I dunno. Orange? I teased a little and I got The Look. You know, I know, the one that says I better knock it off if I don't want to sleep on the sofa again. And I don't, given the option. There was a hug and a smooch, I asked how her hair got so long. She show me the extensions. Huh, I said, you don't have to go through all that hassle for me. I've seen you nude, I said, meaning without make-up. You're plenty gorgeous. She smirked at me with affection and patted my cheek. She went to the city after she got all breathtaking and spectacular. Probably more about the work to do to ensure that those who need the essentials for the winter get them. Troubles of the Rich and Famous. I did a little more work and then I went to the clubhouse. Place was all mine, felt good to stretch my legs a little. I thought about it a little and made a small change to my schedule, well, two. Added Sign Language and Its Culture for the Diversity course, and Psychology because. Well, because of Bunny.

12/28/17 — Today was a good day. It was just me and The Wife all day. It was just a pleasant day, spent lounging, and me getting stuff for her. It's not that I don't care, or that I can't do it. It's just that I feel like anything I did get her would be woefully inadequate. Like I would lose it if I made something for her, and she gave me the kind of affectionate sound that mothers give their sons when they're given macaroni are and promise to put it on on the fridge. I would. Lose it. So, three days AFTER Christmas, and I'm still looking for something to get her. Thus far, attentiveness and loyalty. Like a dog. Sigh. I can't even. I spent most of the day getting my new class schedule in order, and then finished with alot of book writing. Hooray.

12/27/17 — Sat around most of the day. I think the wife is keeping an eye on me, 'cuz she stayed home too. Hey, here's a thing, turns out, uh, there's a feature this place has that I didn't know about. And, uh, I'm glad I'm a good boy. I thought she was watching pornography, turns out not so much. But she asked me a little question, and when she liked my answer, I got a good boy reward. I like rewards. Rewards are good, otherwise airlines wouldn't offer them. She left a little later, something something, blizzard something? I dunno, I was pointed to the my computer and told to get cracking or the whip gets cracking. And considering what I saw in her last playroom, I fully believe her. In short, the book is coming along. I took a little break, shot some footage of the snow, and made a quickie video to let the subscribers know that I'm not dead. There was a little mumble about the Tit on the Hill (that's what I call the dome I live under) that sparked some back and forth on the channel about pros and cons. Mostly pros. But at least the subscribers know I'm not dead.

12/26/17 — Spent some of the afternoon in, still healing from greeting the wife at the door. No school, yet, so I took a page from the publisher's book and started to work on the next chapters. Right as soon as I finished setting up more of my recording studio, have lunch, put the fridge back where it should be. I'll get around to it. Besides, all the greats work better under a tight deadline.
Yeah, I'm totally procrastinating.
I had a New Years Eve party to go to and when the wife left to go clubbing, and I couldn't go because my homework wasn't done, I left for that. I had a pretty nice time. All told. I got there just after a surprise wedding, apparently and there were gifts abound. You know, your usual. Walmart things, and stuff, and a dead mouse that the groom pocketed, how gross. Just your average gifts. I made a complete spectacle out of myself when I clinked my glass to get the couple to kiss, but, ah. Apparently that's a SanFran thing, 'cuz they all looked at me like I was going to give a speech. I met her once, and him just then. I hadn't drank enough to start speechafying. More than a little embarrassed, I got out of there and earned a little sympathy from someone I hadn't met before. ShortNSweet was helpful in letting me forget my goof, asking, not in so much words, to see the pictures I'd taken until the picture police came over and make me delete one. So really all I have of the evening is one. When weight starts getting tossed around, it's best just to scatter. Besides, I had to get back and pretend like I was working on my book. All night. So I can join the wife on outings.📷

12/25/17 — My guests left, in the morning after breakfast with what seemed to be a new sense of being enamored with each other. While I had a bit of a chore on my hands, getting the place back up to code. As if that wasn't bad enough, it seems like the publishers finally got a phone to work through, aw shucks, and let me know that the blizzard was a perfect time for me to have written more chapters. I wanted to give them choice words, but though that my future employment might depend on a more tactful reply. So when I started doing that, I heard the front door open, and the voice of an Angel calling out for me. In my socked feet I slid on the floor rounding the corner and almost lost my balance, but I was in a hurry to greet her. God, had I missed my wife.

12/24/17 —
Twas the day before Christmas and all through the dome,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a gnome.
The food had been packed in a cooler outside,
And was found in the morn to be strewn far and wide.
The couple, exhausted, still slept in their beds,
Whilst dreaming of meats to go with their breads.
She in my bathrobe and he in my clothes,
While I too had succumbed to sleep's undertows.
Then out in the garden there came such a noise,
I flung to the window and there I was poised.
A blanket of white, the howling of wind,
I saw nothing out there, I felt quite chagrined.
I studied the snowfall with eyes like a hawk,
And out from the depths a figure did stalk.
Hunched it appeared, with long willowy arms,
And gnashed its sharp teeth, its clear aim to cause harms.
It moved with a quiver, so lively and quick,
And parted the snow like something toxic.
As it twitched closer, I noticed its pallor,
My eyes, they grew wide, and I misplaced my valor.
Its shadow then darkened the glass where I peeped,
I hid by the wall, not a sound, but I meeped.
Its paw touched the window, its visage profane,
And frost from its fingers slithered 'cross the pane.
It turned in departure, with nary a sound,
I pressed to the window, my horror unbound.
Then watched it discover the box of our food,
Saw between snowfall, its ribs did protrude.
It judged all the choicest with eyes like an owl,
The best cuts it hung from its ribs to embowel.
It sprang from its crouching, all covered in meat,
And away in the blizzard it fled, weirdly fleet.
But I heard it call out, ere it dashed out of sight--
A call that was widely returned, to my fright.

12/23/17 — When I woke up in the morning, I was exhausted. Nothing like having precious little sleep to make a man feel like utter garbage in the morning. Thinking about it, I'm sure this is Karma for all the times I've kept my neighbors up; and my neighbors know my name. Day got even better when the bathroom light wouldn't turn on. I muttered. We finally lost power. But we still had water, and worse comes to worse, there's plenty of snow outside to melt. I washed in the sink to save the water heater effort and had a little bit of a deja vu. Back when I was 15, and Amanda was 14, and we went to Mount Shasta with, some of her friends. Four hour drive and when we got there, after hiking around, the weather turned for the worse. They were all fine, but me? I'm squishy, and I could freeze. Learned a lot about surviving in the woods in cold weather. But nothing like this.
All the same, no idea how long the fridge had been without power, so we'll have to cook everything. I unplugged it before I engaged the generator, I figured there was no sense in keeping potentially rotten food cool. Plus, nature provided us with the perfect freezer outside. The snow drifts will even hide whatever boxes of food we save. I managed to turn one of the generators on, power drain didn't look all that bad, but all the same, I made sure to close doors and unplug everything in rooms we aren't going to use. Radio didn't supply good news.
When my guests gave signs of life I was already beating eggs; we're going to eat like kings today. The rest of the food we don't eat and doesn't look bad I'll put in a box and we'll leave under the snow, near the door so we can get to it again. Bunny wanted sausages, I decided it was best to retreat to my room rather than watch her eat phallic foods, but all the same, Richie Rich seemed amused when I related the story of how she eats them. We popped in Die Hard, for a Christmas movie, rather than Bad Santa or ... god, Home Alone. Ugh. That's when I retreated, leaving the love birds alone. I think I remembered reading somewhere that there was a direct correlation between natural disasters that force you to stay indoors, and spikes in population. Nothing to do when Mother Nature rages than, well, to feel victim to the urge, I guess. I vaguely wondered if this is what B&B owners felt like, knowing what was going on, but trying to ignore it and be scarce for it to happen. God, I miss my wife. Put in earbuds, listened to music, medicated -- glad I took those classes. I came out every now and then when the sounds dulled, for lunch or dinner. Was a little social, but then scampered off when I saw they were getting kissy-feely. I might still have feelings, but ... well, it is what it is and I'm glad they're both happy and found something to distract themselves with while we go through a new Ice Age.

Let the bloat king tempt you again to bed. Pinch wanton on your cheek, call you his mouse. (Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 4)

12/22/17 — When I woke up in the morning it was a rude kind of awakening. But familiar. Pleasantly familiar. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know that the feelings are there, but she's making it really difficult to be a good boy. And while I didn't get a lot of hours of sleep, it was nice sleep. I remember I dreamed about the wife, so waking up with someone was a nice feeling even though it wasn't who I wanted it to be. We saw the storm raging no better. Snow, so much snow. So we knew we were going to have a longer wait for this to pass. We thought of things to do in order to pass the time; a little cards, and a little reminiscing, and some harmless flirting. Then we heard someone at the door. Could you believe it, Bunny's current boyfriend, Richie Rich. He was in the area and trudged over, but even still, it took a couple of us to close the door again. I remember thinking that the garden's going to look the shambles after this. With Bunny, we made sure he got warmed up, and I gave him some of my clothes to wear rather than a towel. Guy's built like a tank, taller than me too. If I thought Bunny was the shallow type I'd say I knew what she sees in him: muscles, looks, wealthy; I think he's even taller than me too. But he's actually a nice guy as well. I made sure the boyfriend of the year got something warm in him, and we re-started our game of Go Fish. Took me a while to remember the rules, but even still, we were a little lax with them. With the internet down, there wasn't much else to do, but that, watch some movies. That sort of thing. When they went off to bed, it wasn't all that long until I heard her thanking him properly.

I write this, and then try to suffocate myself under my pillow.
God, I miss my wife.

12/21/17 — I don't know how she made it. No, I do, because she told me, but I really don't know how she had the determination to get all the way here. The wind was pretty loud, rain was coming down too, and I'd just eaten. Since I didn't know how long I'm going to be holed up in here, I pulled up some blankets, most of the blankets, into the living room and made a big pile out of them. Then a bit of a blanket fort. Had a radio on and a light to read by. No new word from Aqua though but I think that might just be because the services are kinda crappy. Anyways, I went around and unplugged as much as I could, so there was less of a draw. And instead of watching videos on the lappie, or the phone, I finished my new school schedule (lame) and then set down with a book, Prisoner. I don't recognize it, so I think it's the wife's.
That's when I heard the weak knock. Poor thing looked like she'd drowned. Said a tree fell through the roof of her beach house. Got her a warm shower and something of mine to wear and something warm to eat. And then she was out like a light. She's just as cute sleeping as I remember. I stayed awake and soothed her hair a little, watching her sleeping. Then I got a little self conscious that I was probably being creepy, so I returned to my book and I wish I hadn't. Turns out the Aliens eat people; among the things they do to people. In graphic detail. Think I'll just turn in, listening to the rain and the wind, snuggling with my Bunny.

12/20/17 — Well things are getting really serious now. I'm glad Kumo and I took care of the plants. When I woke up, no wife. But I got a text later, she's safe and with friends. That's good. She put in extra water and loaded up the larder, that's good too. Something about the backup generator--S? There's more than one? I should have paid more attention, but she's so CUTE when she's going on about her doomsday stuff, and about how much better her DOME home can survive against storms and hurricanes and the like. I get glassy eyed and my mind wanders to other things. I remembered thinking when I read the text that I hoped I wouldn't need them. That's called foreshadowing, Grandma.
I had the television on, fiddling around on the computer when the internet died first. I gave it a try but after turning the router off and then back on I was sorta at the end of what I knew what to do. By then the noise outside was pretty bad, and I tried texting back, but I was only getting sporadic bars at best. At least I was able to send something. Without the internet life really has no meaning, so I decided to do something stupid: I went outside and took a picture. And then one of how damp I was after toweling off. The lights flickered for a bit, so I went looking for those generators and got familiar with their use and got a flashlight just incase I needed it. I may or may not have slept with her pillow.📷

12/19/17 — Skies are looking pretty dark, that's not great, especially over Prospect. Kumo and I took care of protecting the peach trees in the back and covered the garden, just in case the dark clouds led to something worse. I found some old, and very bad, poetry about the Ex. The time she asked me to open the relationship up. I'd forgotten about that. She wanted to see other women, and after thinking about it, realizing that there would always be some way I wouldn't be able to satisfy her and wanting her to be happy, I let her know she could after I'd thought about it for a day or two. Of course, I'd be free to see other people too. When I said that, she wasn't interested anymore. And I didn't know then, like I do now, that what she really wanted was to be with the Third Wheel guilt free. I guess she got what she wanted, in the end.
Funny how that stuff works out.
But that got me thinking about, ... other things, and how much I missed Bunny. Just because I'm not allowed to see her anymore, doesn't mean I still don't have feelings still for her. I can't turn them off, but I can push them down. If it's a choice between the two, the wife would win everytime. But. Still. And then like she can read my mind, Bunny sent me a picture. Did I like her new swimsuit? Oh boy. She has to know what she's doing to me. I left Roasters a mighty bit distracted and went home before replying, diplomatically. To add to all that, the Publishers got my grades. It wasn't that they weren't happy, it's just that they weren't, what'd they say? Weren't paying to send me to play with co-eds. I'm there to get a certain set of skills and ART isn't one of them. Ppft. Seems like having a Dr. before my name would give me books more weight, while I think it would make them seem more stuffy. But they're paying the bills, so now I have to go back to Biology. Not that I wasn't anyways. Meh, and bah humbug.

12/18/17 — After another casual morning of moving some of my things over to the new house. ... well, dome, I dropped the presents for the family off at the post office. Had to go express because apparently everybody else has decided that they too have family that need presents. Around lunch at the DOME we got a house visit from The Doctor. She, like the wife, like everybody else really, was stunned by the change. I didn't get a chance to tell her why the change but then, I don't think she needs to know. She already thinks poorly of me enough as it is. She did want to touch it though; a lot less to brush and it feels like I have about 15 pounds less on my head. So that's good.

12/17/17 — While moving some of my clothes in, Aqua gave me a bit of a surprise. I didn't know that she could play the accordion. But that's neat, and she's much better at it than I am. If I weren't so self conscious about it, we could jam out together, dueling banjo style, only with my two accordions. Yeah, two, she decided to give me an early Christmas present. It looks really, just really impressive. She must have been working on it for awhile. I said thanks not so much with my words. There was a little bit of a misunderstanding, I thought she wanted more kids. Who says 'them' when you don't know the gender of one baby? But I love her, so I'll overlook her flagrant disregard of the English language. Poor English, I still love you.

12/16/17 — Saturday, and I decided to go into the city, join the rest of the herd in looking for Christmas presents. Still nothing looks like it's right enough for her, but I did pick up stuff for Mom and Dad and the rest of the family. Mostly. I'll have to sent it to them in the post though, so I'll have to remember to send them early so they get there in time for them to open. It's not like we do the whole, sitting around a tree, drinking eggnog, singing Christmas songs or anything like that. Just a little gift on this day and your birthday. It's not about the material things, the parents said, but it's still nice to be given a reminder that someone thinks nicely of you. Mom likes jewelry, Dad's more practical. The uncle gifts can be goofy.
Since I was out, had an early dinner at the clubhouse and met someone that I didn't know before, and I thought at first her daughter. Turns out not to be the case, but the little girl was more mature than both adults. We talked for a bit, submarines and thumbs, before I noticed the time. When I was leaving, NoThumbs gave me a compliment that I only just realize now, writing in my diary, that it really wasn't. Well, half was. More studying of the student catalog is in my future, I think.

12/15/17 — Second night in the new home, still getting used to the sounds it makes when the house settles during the night. I left a little early for school since I don't know what the traffic situation is going to be like, and I'm not familiar with how to get to school from this way. Glad I did too, because there was a little Friday traffic but the guitar and I made it safety to the one-on-one final. I got a few good pointers, and the instructor told me if I keep at it I'll develop some nice calluses on my fingertips like that's something I want. Calluses are the wife's territory. Anyways, school semester is all finished and now I have to pick up classes for next year. Happy and joy. Biology, I think, the whole reason I'm there. Picked up one of the catalogs to give it a look over tomorrow. Kicked around Prospect for a bit, still trying to figure out what to get her for our first Christmas together. Something epic enough to say what I feel about her, but that I won't, you know, won't be able to top next year.

12/14/17 — This morning was a little fun. I had to make some calls to see if there were any moving companies that would be able to help me pack my stuff up so I could move in with, well, to our new house. Apparently that's not an easy get, especially when I blew most of my spending allowance on that last charity for the Prospects Opportunity Program. I don't know what I was thinking, but it just reminded me of them, and it looked so nice. And I have a fatal inability to haggle. I just went right to my maximum. Either way, I'll figure something out. Next was going to the manager to talk to him. He was very understanding, but let me know that since I had a contract, unless it was paid, he couldn't release me from it. It's just not my day. I left telling him I'll think it over, heck, worse case, I just keep renting the apartment and I have someplace to crash in the city if I don't feel like facing traffic. Or something else. Day was pretty much a wash, but at least I got to come home and spend time with the wife. I called Dad and updated him on what was going on. He said he'd come by later to look at the land, so we have that visit to look forward to and I realize that I didn't tell him about my hair cropping so he could prep Mom since she liked my long hair.

12/13/17 — In the morning, after my jog, I got ambushed at the door again. Well, after the door closed, but still. It's a nice surprise. She had exciting news and wanted to show me something. The wife was pretty excited and it was infectious. I don't get to see her like this often, and when I do, well, it's nice. It's weird, but when she's like that she reminds me more of the young adult she looks like. Not like some person, aged beyond the years of their appearance. Like I'm around because I amuse her. Like a favorite painting, or a pet. Meh.
So after we got ready we went out for a drive, back to Lemon Grove. It isn't that long of a drive outside of Prospect proper, about seven minutes with how she drives and then I saw it. There's been some changes to the property. We parked in the driveway, she gave me a set of keys and gestured inside with a nod of her head. The place is huge. My whole extended family could fit in here with room to spare. And there's even a nursery for Sky, assuming we get her. Assuming she's a her. And peach trees in the backyard, a garden. I'm going to have to learn how to garden, but I know enough from watching Dad, that the plants are either transplants or they were planted earlier. She smiled slyly at me and told me we're going to have a lot or rooms to christen. Oh, boy.

12/12/17 — After coming home from school after my two dimensional exam, Aqua told me she had a surprise. She doesn't give bad surprises, so I was happy to see what it was, but she said it wasn't just finished yet, but soon and then grinned profusely. Now I was a little nervous. Two out of three exams down, I think I did ok, despite the rocky semester I had. I hung out with the wife, my best friend for the rest of the evening. The next final wasn't until Friday, but I picked up the guitar anyways, and fooled around a little bit.

12/11/17 — When I came back home I was greeted at the door with a lovely sight. She helped me get ready for breakfast, and I was almost late for school. Or at least it would have been, if I didn't remember at the eleventh hour that it's finals week this week. We came up for air and she drove me to campus. I nearly had to tuck, roll and take off sprinting to make the history exam in time. Kiki made quite the impression with the student body, like I thought it would, which is why I try to bring myself to school. I think I did ok, but it's the one I was sweating the biggest.

12/10/17 — Today was spend with the wife, making up for lost time. Messing pretty well, we came up for air late in the afternoon and by then we were starving. I have to say, with all this less hair, my head feels lighter but more than that, I save a ton of time washing it. Sunrise texted me later in the evening again, wanted to pick up where we'd left off. I insisted on going over to her place. But she cautioned about her state of dress, but really I just wanted to see their albino peacocks. After she relented, and we had a talk for a while, she told me the happy news -- she and her boyfriend are expecting. I couldn't be happier, and I didn't stick my foot in it at all and think that maybe the thing she wanted to talk to me about was that the baby was mine. Ha, ha. So awkward.

12/09/17 — Found a good spot to park the van for the night where I wouldn't be a bother. Spent the night in the caravan, and kinda wish I hadn't. If I thought the apartment was cold, it must have gotten to twenty during the night. Luckily I have heat, and blankets, and in the morning I still had all my toes. Had a dry breakfast and put on layers, opened the back and started to just doodle on my notebook. I think it was around noon when there were signs of life, so I got out and greeted. She looked a little surprised, and I imagine it was by my new appearance. But I'm a new man now. One that realizes what he could have lost. I guess I was forgiven, when we started making out, but I had to be sure and not just assume because I want to make sure there's nothing, and nobody between us. This time. We had a talk, the kind of talk that most couples have long, long before things get as far as marriage. About her and my expectations, monogamy, and more importantly, that when she gets upset, she should use her words instead of getting violent. It was a good, long conversation, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Especially the handshake at the end.<br\>And while she was sleeping, I got a text from Sunrise. Someone else I had to talk to. I was a little subtle in text, so offered to meet her at a place of her choice. The Gatsby. And while I was trying to let her know what the new rules were and do it in a way that wouldn't make me come off as a horrible person, Bunny showed up and helped, uh, make things more than awkward. Bless her heart. Sunrise left but on good terms, and then Bunny's current boyfriend showed up, Richie Rich. I was feeling a little awkward, third wheel style, and feeling the Champagne, so I made my good-byes too. Called both a Lyft and an Uber, just to see which one would get there first. The answer? I don't know, some nice lady outside gave me a ride home instead.

12/08/17 — Woke up in the afternoon feeling like, well I suppose like one would expect and I moped around for a little while longer until, it dawned on me that this isn't the end of something. I can make it the beginning of something new. Like a whole new me. Or, ... I could plant my face of the couch all day and wait for death to take me. And as attractive as that sounded, I had some, small amount of people that depended on me to tell them what I thought about and what was going on in my life. And I had a kid on the way, I mean, around April, I'm going to be a Dad. So I should stop acting like a kid, and more like an adult. And one that can keep his priorities straight, rather than acting like an indulgent ... I dunno, something mean.
So I went out for a late jog and brunch, then took a ride over to the Mall and did some shopping. After that, I went to the saloon and got a haircut. I think she cried more than I ever did. Home and tried on some of the new clothes. I looked ok, I guess. Then I got the van, packed it up with some essentials, and drove off, into the sunset, figuratively. Watching Prospect getting smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.

12/07/17 — Didn't do anything except laid out on the sofa after I woke up in the guest room. She took her things, left her key on the counter. That started a whole new round in the kitchen. Spent the rest of the day watching Youtube and not eating.

12/06/17 — It's over. She took her things and left after I gave her the letter. Said she couldn't do this anymore. I don't blame her. I'm just unlovable.

12/05/17 — Dear god, was it unholy cold last night. And the wife wasn't around to keep me warm, so, on with the heat. I don't know what it is, but that woman is always burning hot. In the summer there's air conditioning, I don't mind the snuggle. But when it's freezing out there, like 52 degrees, I wouldn't mind having her warming up the bed, and warming up the bed. Since there isn't anymore school, I stayed home, browsed my videos a bit, talked to the adoring fans. I don't do that enough, if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be able to live the way I do. So a nice thank you to a nice group of people. Did the normal breakfast stuff once it warmed up a little and then looked over some YouTube on the TV while doing some writing. It was then that the front desk called up and said I had a delivery. Or rather, the wife did. So I asked them to please send it up, and when I answered the bell, I was greeted with a face full of flowers. Sure enough the card was for Aqua, and I put the vase on the dining room table and looked at them for awhile. Who'd be giving her flowers? And what for? Is some creep hitting on my wife? Pink and red roses, did they... do something? Is that why she hasn't been around? Is she cheating on me and this is her paramour's way of thanking her for one of their long nights spend coiled in a lover's embrace, heaving and panting, sweaty with effo--. Steady yourself, man. She wouldn't do that to you. It's just your vivid writer's imagination running wild, not that she isn't worthy of the attention. With those doleful thoughts, I took out the letter I made for her, and put some more work on it.

12/04/17 — I think I'm caught up with my studies. But probably not; I think I'll check in, maybe, with the tutors and see if I can't have the last couple of days brushed up on my studies. That is if I feel like getting up and doing anything. I only thought about Bunny about a million times, and sulked around a little. Or a lot. It was worse while I was jogging. Usually I can let my mind, what little of it I have, wander but this time it was just thinking about her. Lovesick. I guess. Didn't help that I haven't deleted her past text. The ones that got me in trouble in the first place. Anyways, I managed to hobble to school and both classes were canceled due to low attendance, with the option of going to the instructor's office if we wanted more. I'm not that much of a glutton, I'm suffering enough already. I don't know why, but Ben was still at school. He had a new girlfriend and made some introductions with I was the guy he'd been telling her about. Clearly something was going on between the two of them. Small talk followed, then Ben said we'd see me later at the party and left before answering my confusion. Nothing good is going to happen with that guy. Went to the clubhouse after school and had something to eat while I tried to take my mind off of Bunny, wrote a story about what happened, maybe I'll add it to here if I think it's a good idea. But I put it in an envelope and left it in my nightstand. Maybe I'll give it to Aqua later. Wrote a poem about her too, but it was, and I can't emphasize this enough, not good. Which only makes me think that the story isn't good either. I just need to do more to not think about Bunny, and how much I still miss her.

12/03/17 — Today was a me day and to heck with the finals. The wife hadn't come back after her ride, or, maybe she did and I missed her while I was out and that only got her even more upset. So, the heck it. Had some tea at the Tea House, and then over to the mall to look around for Christmas gifts. Even if she can buy anything, or make anything in the world, I still have to give her something for that holiday. Not that it's going to be fidelity. I still have to ask her why that's her name, I mean... is it an alias, or did she change her name to that because it sounds Asian and she doesn't look Asian at all. Maybe her parents are weird, but then, whose parents aren't weird. So I went looking around for some kind of idea and nothing clicked. Went to the gardens afterwards and looked around. Not the same place, but it reminded me of the Park where we met and smooched... until we started to draw a crowd. Thought about Bunny, and Bombshell. Sunrise and Shooting star. The Ex, my whole sorted slutty past. And then I realized I wasn't doing it right. Somewhere along the way I got my lines crossed, and I got to be the kind of person, guy, that's worth being around her. Because she's special, and she means something special to me. And I don't know where I would be right now, or the kind of guy I would be if it wasn't for her. Even if she knew that I cheated on the Ex with her, I have to start thinking with the right equipment. Yeah.

12/02/17 — I know it isn't open, but while the wife was out, I went to Campus. Studying with a change of scenery for a while. At least long enough until the Roaster's tea was gone, and then I went back home and Aqua was back. We hung out for a little while and then The Fan gave me some texts. Some wonderfully suggestive texts. While that was going on, the Wife got upset. I'm not exactly sure about what, maybe it was because she asked if if the texts was from my college buddies, but it wasn't, and worse still it was from someone I wasn't supposed to be seeing anymore. She got changed into her riding gear and took a ride, she does that to clear her head, like me. Bunny and I made plans to talk in person, but at the Jolly Dragon. I offered to pick her up and, ... what a mistake that turned out to be. But I miss her so much that it makes me sad that I can't see her anymore.

12/01/17 — I'm not sure that this meditation is working. Sure, I haven't really been giving it that long, but I'm supposed to be thinking about nothing. Instead, my brain wanders. Thinking about all the stresses going on. The wife, the schoolwork, the final I'm going to flunk, the channel, the book. Even checking the phone to see if anybody called, or if the Neighbor left a message to let me know about the next date night. Then I was thinking if this is even how the situation was even supposed to work. If I got it wrong, maybe that's why the wife put her foot down. And then I remember I'm supposed to be not worrying about that kind of stuff anymore. And then I think about Bunny. And then I find myself thinking about her, missing her. I'd wrote that I was going to do something stupid. I finally got around to it. Waited until the afternoon and went to her office. She was in session, so I hung out in the cafeteria for a bit, drinking coffee and thinking what a bad idea I was about to do, but also psyching myself up as well. I went back a little while later and sure enough, she wasn't busy. I missed her, and I let her know that. It was a close call, but I only did something stupid, not moronic. I wish I was the kind of person that could do what I did and not feel anything.

11/30/17 — Didn't really have much planned to do other then some more studying, and a little bit of work on the book. That's all after the morning routine which now includes finding a little moment to opening myself up to hearing what the universe is trying to tell me. I'd crashed out on the sofa with a close look of my textbook... on my face, and a bit of drool, when my phone woke me from my deep contemplation. Autumn, from New York city. She just called to see how I was doing, what was going on. At first she seemed disappointed to hear I'd gotten married, but then she was amused. She said she might be in the area at sometime, sometime soon and wanted to know if we could hook up, and I could show her around. I corrected her; she meant meetup. Sure she did. Before she hung up she congratulated me on the good news about the movie, but after we'd hung up, I couldn't remember actually telling her about that. Hmm, well, this textbook isn't going to get drool stains on it by itself.

11/29/17 — My phone went off in the middle of class. It's not like there was anyone in there or anything, but still. Nobody's fault but mine, but that didn't stop the assistant from glaring at me. A week of class left, and it's my first infraction, so what is she going to do? Not that I want to tempt fate, so I didn't answer it until class was over, but I saw it was from the publicist. Long time no hear from. I called her back and got the excitement; the network guys finally got back to her and the option is a go. She gave me the synopsis over the phone and I'm not sure I like the idea. It's a RomCom about a guy who gets his heart broken badly by a cruel, heartless villainess and people whom he thought were his friends turn on him to side with her until the unlikeliest of matches which makes him see he's worth loving again. And when he gives love a second chance, the ex returns after she hears he's doing well, to take him back. New and old girl square off. Hilarity ensues. They're even using the title of my book so far, but I don't know. Never thought of myself as associated wot a romantic ... well, anything. Maybe I'll see what the spouse, I mean new girl, thinks first before I cast my final vote. The Publicist wasn't happy to be reminded about that. She offered me a stay at her place, and weirdly mentioned just me, to talk about it. Meeh, I dunno.

11/28/17 — With the extra spice gone, I found I have a bit more time. Well, more than a bit. YouTube numbers suffered while I was away, they're a fickle bunch. Now that the spare room has been turned back into the studio again, I made a short video explaining -- as vaguely as possible -- where I had been while I wasn't posting videos on my irregular schedule. You know; the wife, school and all that entails, the holiday season. I didn't mention The Fan. I think those that know, know and those that don't, don't need to. From there a video about the desalination of the oceans, and the plans that are happening overseas to fight droughts and what they're doing here in our own backyard. It's actually pretty cool. But it wasn't long after that, maybe a couple of hours, and the discussion had turned mostly into the world running out of water. I'd gone to a meditation place by the university I see just about every day. Mellow, yellow, willow moon. Something like that. All the stress, feeling like I'm being pulled in every direction. I used to smirk at the festivals when I saw them doing it, but, I dunno -- if it works for them, maybe it won't be so bad. I need to learn how to better center myself. Get some focus back. I nearly died when they suggested tantric. How about something a little more basic? We sat around, working on breathing, posture, and not thinking. Well, two out of three isn't so bad.

11/27/17 — Woke with the wife. It's like nothing happened. Nothing except we're on our third sofa. Went out for a jog and came back with breakfast to give it to the wife in bed. School after, I'm still worried that, with all the distractions that happened this month that I'm going to flunk out; at least the Native art class. I went to see if I could get some help for it, and then went to class. I know Aqua's not worried, that I could just take it over again if I do. And maybe it's nothing and I'm worried about nothing. But if the publishers decide that my poor grades voids the agreement, maybe they'll send me to South America after all. When I got home, we got to hanging out a little, snuggled on the new sofa. At least for a bit, then I had to move my studio back into the spare room, Bunny's room. I miss her, I wish I could see her again. Maybe just a text, or something...

11/26/17 — Went back into town after a bit to do my morning ritual stuff. Went to school, everything was closed, so I went back home and swapped out clothes. In and out real quick, I didn't even notice anything happened in the apartment. Hung out at Roaster's and sit so long studying I think my butt fell asleep. I was there past dinner when some guy started a conversation. Frenchie apparently knew me from when Aqua proposed, and had seen her at the opening of the Cabaret. There was a big of confusion, I think because his, I think his, accent is pretty thick. Then, with a weird case of speak-of-the-devil, I got a text from wife, asking if I'm coming home. All the talk about her, the proposal at the charity event in September, I was feeling wife-sick. Plus I'd been gone for the usual time. I went home and we snuggled in front of the television watching Netflix like we used to.

11/25/17 — I took a few things with me and I went to the clubhouse to stay there for the night. Today was the day that Aqua said she'd replace everything that got damaged in the fight and I kinda didn't want to be there for it. Not because she would be there, but because the eggnog smell was really starting to get non-festive. And I figured it would give me a place to crash and study in some peace. But I didn't feel like getting much in the way of studying done. So I did the second best thing; I moped. Got into a confrontation about it, so I figured I'd just go upstairs to study some more until someone whipped out a secret weapon: baby. Pinning so damn hard, but once I wasn't the focus of people's attention, I slipped back upstairs. Sad.

11/24/17 — Now where do I even start? I was in the kitchen when Aqua came home and right away I could tell something was wrong. I got it right away. Words spoken well, but the body language wasn't her, and then she let me have it. Bunny's pregnancy plans. I hadn't mentioned it because it was just bedroom talk. Mostly. And when she, Bunny, kept moving the date back and back again I just figured she had lost interest in it. After talking with her friends about it, and them giving her concerns, I had figured it wasn't going to happen and Bunny didn't know how to tell me. So there wasn't anything to tell. But I didn't tell Aqua. Everybody knew, except for her. She decorated the wall with the remainder of the eggnog and just like that, I was having flashbacks of being back home, cleaning food off the walls, having to hide bruises. I didn't think she'd be like this. Our last argument wasn't this bad either, but that's how it happens, right? It's how it happened before.
I remember she didn't follow the script. She tried to leave. So if she was going to go off script then so would I. I did the only thing I know how to do and looking back at it, that was totally not the time for it. But she did lay down the ground rules. No more Bunny. Oddly, no more Bombshell either. I can only figure it's because she still thinks they're still friends, but I broke that up too. I hope they mend that friendship without me around. Ugh, how do I make a mess of things? Later on, Bunny came back home. I haven't had to do this before, so I wasn't sure what to do. I'm usually the loved and left. I had some things I'd been saving for her, and then the bad news. She knew it was coming, said she had a conversation with Aqua before and expected the worst. I offered for her to stay, but she declined and, again, she's probably right. Might be a little awkward. But I am going to miss her. Maybe I'll just work on myself for awhile. But I think I said that before. I checked back; Bunny... The Fan and I, almost made it a month, just a couple of days shy. Happy Monthiversary.

11/23/17 — Thanksgiving. Always a few last minute items to pick up, at least that was the plan. Aqua came over, she had everything ready on her end earlier than I'd expected. So I had to entertain her for a bit before things got hot in the kitchen. All told it wasn't that bad a time. Bunny still seems, on uneasy footing, and I think Aqua thinks she's being friendly most of the time. But I don't blame her for being guarded. Once bitten, twice shy and all that. They know me, but not each other, and I'm hoping this will help bring the two of them closer together. Then I got a call from the parents, there were good wishes all around, and then when they weren't on speaker phone Mom asked who the other woman was. I explained and, uh, she told Dad to talk to me. It was a pleasant chat, one that I think Mom was still there listening, or guiding Dad through and I expect it's not the last I'll hear about it. But this works, or something like it. It seems like it's what she wants and I want to make her happy, so it's what I want. And it isn't like Bunny didn't come into this without both eyes open. Mom's not even using Aqua's name anymore, just 'That woman.' Christmas is going to be a treat.
I had to go out for some items I'd forgotten. Isn't that always the way? But fortunately I knew everything would be set before I got back and Aqua was there with her things to make sure everything would come out of the oven find. And of course, because it was Thanksgiving, a ten minute trip took me forever. For. EVER. When I came back home, I first thought people got kidnapped, plates had been set out, and served, but nobody was home. Though if there was a fight or an abduction, there would probably be more of a mess. Nobody's going to take Aqua without causing a mess, is my guess. So I packaged everything up; had myself something to eat.

11/22/17 — Some of the family called. Wished me an early Thanksgiving. They were with Mom and Dad, up there in SanFran. I'm happy they at least get to go. Took the bike on a little road trip, not really driving anywhere and I found myself back at the scene of the crime. Just stood there awhile and took in the view, thinking about then and now. Time I go see Shooting star, see how the baby is. I've been following along, by now she might have a bit of a bump. And the baby, she wants to call her Sky. Sky should have fingers. ... I'm a Dad. I still wish things had turned out different, still feel guilty. Big boy's don't cry. They go back to Prospect, and get a few of the things they need to finish getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. With Aqua and Bunny and maybe a few others. This won't be at all awkward.

11/21/17 — I put the books down for a bit, went to class. Or I thought I would. One of the classes was cancelled, because of low attendance before it was even started, and the other, really should have been because there weren't a lot of us in there. Kind of a drag to come down all that way just to have nothing to do. I hid in the library for a bit, not studying, but working on the book. When the walls fell. Man made barrier. No home for cougar. I dunno, the title is still a working project. I finally did break down and get some studying done, and Bunny got upset, demanded I take a study break. Oh, what a chore.

11/20/17 — Ah, thank god that's over with. Woke up in the morning with this stupid cold over and done. What a luxury, being able to breathe out of both nostrils at the same time. Since I hadn't been jogging in a while I figured it was best to do a little longer of a one before I went back home. Got a call from Dad, wanted to know what my plans were for Thanksgiving. Mom got on the extension later to let me know how much better I sounded and how sorry she was she wasn't there to make sure I was healed up quickly. Again, reminding me that Aqua should have been there to take care of her baby. Sigh. They told me what their plans were for the holidays, and since I couldn't be there, did I want them to come down. I couldn't have said no fast enough. Standard platitudes followed. Maybe I'll ask Susan to come down and visit; I think she'd like the wife. Anyways, school -- same boring stuff there up until I saw Scott and a few of the guys. Scott looked like he figuratively swallowed the canary when he saw me and handed me a flier. Bachelor party, it said. December 22-24th, it said. Debauchery, it misspelt. Strippers, Girls, Booze. It even had my name on it. Scott poked me in the chest and told me if I wasn't there, he'd send the guys to kidnap me and make sure I was there. Stunned, I left, Scott shouting his advice that I drink a lot of fluids first. Could they find me if I went somewhere far away, like Mexico, or worse Canada?

11/19/17 — Well I certainly feel better, this is true. Nothing like having a Doctor coming by your house. But I wasn't still myself. Chicken noodle, tea, and the last of Netflix. Fell asleep somewhere in there, and when I woke up, the wife was home again. We had a short conversation, I forgot to mention Thanksgiving plans so I sent her a text with the so-so news and the bad news. Well, for her it would be bad news. Anyways, she mentioned some burlesque opening thing and on any other day I would probably have gone with her, but with how things were going lately, I just really couldn't stare at another pair of boobs.
Who said that?
Instead, I took a trip, just to see if I could find something herbal to work this cold out. Instead I found a really nice person. Super smart, educated, going to be married soon. Red and I chatted a while, long enough to find out how lucky she's been since coming to town. And I just. ... I just unloaded with just about everything that happened to me in the last seven months. Like, all the stuff I wish I could tell my wife, all the stuff going on in my head. Before I knew it, it was stupid late and I had to get going. I'm sure she thinks I'm a spaz that likes to talk about himself. Meh, oh well. I blame the cold. I'm going back to bed.

11/18/17 — Suffering in silence. Mostly. Mom wants to know what my wife was doing to take care of her poor sick baby. The last thing I'm going to do is pass that on to Aqua. Then she wanted to know if she should come over, 'We're not that far away, Donnie,' she said. I bet Aqua clenched hard, miles away, and didn't know why. I told her we were doing fine, but thanks, and all that jazz. Got some of the family gossip, and then went back to watching television and resting. I got to episode six of the new Punisher stuff when there was a rap-tap-tapping on my door. The good Doctor making a house call. Probably had a sixth sense that there was a friend out there with a cold. She gave me the once over, and I felt a little better already, just having her hands on me. Then we had a talk until Bunny came home and then the conversation turned a little risque. I learned a new word. Also, I know who has a crush on a certain someone. Juicy secrets and gossip, high school is never over, is what they say, so I imagine this is what high school was like.

11/17/17 — Pretty sure Bunny'll get sick too. But I still don't feel great. Sleeping schedule is all messed up too, but it's not like I can get up and go to class like the way I am, or I'll just infect poor, innocent people with this black plague. Bunny says I'm not allowed to die, just yet. Instead, I have to take her out on a date, to cheer me up. We went to the amusement park on the boardwalk and took in some touristy things, played some games and then we had a walk and talk on the boardwalk. Got in some serious snuggle time. Then someone Bunny knew came up. Drove up. He's actually pretty cool for an old guy. Was in the military, has some really neat theories about love and stuff. I'll have to talk to him again. If only I could do it somewhere they don't allow smoking, ugh.

11/16/17 — Normal morning routine; only by noon I started to feel really cruddy. Started as a tickle in my throat, and then it was full blown achy neck. I stuck it out at school as long as I could, but then it was home as soon as I was able with a stop to Chinatown to get some soup and tea at the Tea House to hopefully get something to make this cold go away. Got the laptop and everything out in the living room, huddled on the sofa and prayed for death. Then Bunny came back from visiting her mother. It didn't go well. Poor woman. Both of them. I wish there was something that I could do to help them, other than simple comforts.

11/15/17 — Early morning jog, breakfast. Made some videos for the youtube crowd and then sat down to do some more studying. It isn't 2D Practices that's giving me trouble, but how I FEEL about some of these Pacific coast First Nation art. Have to be careful about that. Ran into the guys, we chatted, but not for long, I think they had somewhere to go without the "old man". Then, given my experience the last time, I just had a quiet night at home which is, like so refreshing. And a little terrifying at the same time, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. At least I got to watch some Hulu.

11/14/17 — Realized this morning that finals are a month away; and the next chapter deadline was less than that. Then there were videos to get out, the one for the wife to finish. So burning the candle on both ends, in the middle and a few other portions. Spent the day with classes and then biting off some of this work. I was so tired, I went to the clubhouse for a bit. Saw a few people I know, including Sox. I don't get it, maybe I see something other people don't, but she's just. Weird. She asked a few questions, one I especially didn't want to answer, and was kinda rude. I dunno, maybe it's just to me. I wonder if Short-crop knows Sox has a thing for him, or maybe she just likes objectifying guys.

11/13/17 — I tried to sleep in, but I had a visitor and she wouldn't let me sleep. Or skip school. I think Aqua's developing some sort of mischief sense about her, able to run over and ruin my fun and then scamper away, giggling gleefully. So I returned the favor and let her know the parents say Hi. And they had too, they wanted to know how Bora Bora was. So I had to tell them that we hadn't gone, yet. Not that I don't know if we will, the wife seems sorta busy, spending crazy time at her workshop. But she's doing something she likes, so that's all that matters.

11/12/17 — Sure, I can do homework on a Sunday. But I don't want to. Tried looking for some distraction, especially since the Aqua is at her's, still. She won't know if I slack off. Not a little. I sent Sunrise some messages, and she was on her way over, so nice. But she turned out to be a tease. So wonderfully so, I got my comeuppance for all the times, the many times, I teased her, so I couldn't be mad. She's wonderful, vengeful, but wonderful. I decided to keep the lesson she gave me, and go back to work, not that I was able to keep my mind focused very well.

11/11/17 — After the morning routine, I put out the stuff on the dining table and got working on some video ideas, more writing, and then homework. So fun. It's where I was when Bombshell knocked on the door again. It was a nice surprise, especially with the way she was dressed, and I guess she was here to see Bunny again, but Bunny wasn't home again. Off socializing, really like I was supposed to do. Group activity and male friends, I promised her. I think she's using her jedi mind tricks on me. Anyways, with Bunny not here, Bombshell stuck around. We chatted, flirted, and then she showed me she's serious. I still think I might regret this later.

11/10/17 — Friday and I called Sunrise. I called to early, she didn't answer, but I left a message to see if she wanted to go out on that date. While I was waiting for the call back, I took in some more Netflix, and the AC was ok, so I guess I was chilling. The Bombshell came over and with Bunny not here, I would have thought that she would have gone, but apparently not. There was a little back and forth, and I guess I can say that, if someone's being subtle enough, it goes right over my head. But when I got it, I tried to return the favor, figuring I had her number. But she called my bluff, and left. Aw well. Later in the evening Sunrise gave me a text back, so I told her what the schedule was. Something to eat, a movie. You know, the classics. I met her there and she looked… she looked great. We ate and talked, I got some pretty good advice about this new situation I find myself in. We went to the movie afterwards and I didn't see any of it. The night ended really well before she sent me back over to mine. This time I made sure to get dressed before the walk of not-so-much shame.

11/09/17 — Knocking at the door woke me up pretty early. Was there even a six am before this and why wasn't I told? It was the Bombshell and she was a little, well, she was coming down from partying all night. I remember when I used to do that. She came to see Bunny, but I thought she wasn't there. And, uh. One thing after another happened. Suffice it to say, when Bunny woke up, she had a. I dunno, I would have rather been woken up that way. She wasn't happy to say the least, Bombshell left, and we spent the rest of the night hugging, talking. She asked me about my other child. And, so I told her about Shooting star, and what happened that I understood. I didn't cry, because I'm a big boy, but I wanted to. Going to see her isn't the same as having to just go a few blocks. I wish I wasn't such a mess. If it wasn't for Aqua, it'd almost be worth going back home. At least I when the punches will come then.

11/08/17 — Breakfast and my morning workout. I went to school for a little bit, study and homework. I don't get a chance to do those when I'm at home anymore, so it's best to get it out of the way before I go there. It was pretty pointless as it turns out, I was all alone when I did get home. Made something to eat for dinner, and then someone new dropped by. Short-Crop had a few questions for me, and because this was about something ELSE not my kid, I can probably expect more of this in my future. He'd said that he came from talking to Aqua, and I would have called her to see if she was ok, but Bunny had came home, took a gawk at him and left. I get it. But she did bring me some lovely cookies, loaded in carbs. Then again, it's just about cheat day everyday.

Love is as you

A dream,
A forbidden thought,
A shared wicked smile,

Do you remember the park?
I conquered the table,
And you rushed away.

Do you recall the beach?
Kissing in the parking lot,
In the morning more in store.

My life without you,
The pain of it would be,
Gnashing, gnawing, eternally.

A wild beast,
Both feral and pure,
My life would end, and be no more.

11/07/17 — Wife came back, for breakfast. When she went to lay down, Bunny had some breakfast, we held hands. It was nice, but when I had a moment of silence, I found myself thinking about Sunrise. I gave her a text, just to let her know I was thinking about her, and got on with my day. I'd slept in, missed school, so, just bumming around the house seemed ok. Settled down, with Netflix, I had concentrated on work, and, finishing Aqua's present so hard, I didn't realize how exhausted I was when I poked my head up. I'd found my unfinished vows for the wedding too, and since the pressure was off, it was easier to finish. And apply the smallest of polish. Bunny sent some texts, she wouldn't be home tonight. Good for her. I did some more work and then went to bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, not realizing how lonely I felt until just then.

11/06/17 — Woke up for breakfast and my morning jog. School, some more editing, and checking to see if the videos were ok. I'd promised Bunny a date the other night, so we went for lunch. She licked BBQ sauce from her finger, and I realized how much trouble I was in. But at least we tried, to just chat. Went home after, she went to work. I started working on Aqua's present until my hand cramped, then gave myself a break with some writing, watching television, and texted up a storm with the--, well, I guess I can't call her that anymore. But her. We made plans for a date too, and I'm really looking forward to it. Even if we're doing things a little unconventionally, but then, since when have I been conventional.

11/05/17 — I haven't in checked in awhile and noticed that subscriber numbers have started to dwindle. That is, right until the wedding announcement was shown on the FOX channel. Not a big spike, but numbers are numbers, is what the Publicist said, even while she had been yelling at me. So I spent a good while working on the videos; make a batch of them, slip on different t-shirts sometimes. Then loading up the editing software, try to make myself not sound like a moron. Reshoot anything that needs reshooting. I had to move the stuff out, since Bunny's in the spare, so things are a little cramped, but it'll do, even though I don't like the new audio. I think there's a little echo and I don't have any sound proofing in here. During all that, I thought of a gift to get Bunny, shopped around and ordered it, but I wanted something more, so headed over to Fashion Valley Mall. Got something for Bunny. With Bunny at work and then on a date, and Aqua still gone, I went to see the Neighbor. She'd said something before, when I ran into her in the hall. I'd used her. And I wanted to know just what that meant. She was hurt, about something, something I'd done, but I can't tell what and she was sneering at me. When I turned to leave, things got. Well they got real. I guess we made up, and I staggered home early in the morning. Bunny was back from her date, and, I guess she's had a change of mind. It was kinda cute, the way she was being diminutive. But it's her choice. I'm not going to force her, or anything. What I didn't know is that it was too late to cancel my online purchase.

11/04/17 — Bunny told today was the day she was going to get her things and move in. I, ah. Can't help but feel like things are going fast, but it feels good. And this seems to be what she wants and I'll just play by the rules. The really weird rules. Since it's the weekend, took my sweet time before I went out for my jog to the park and back and when I got back, Bunny was snoozing so I went out for breakfast so I wouldn't wake her. I wasn't gone for long so I wasn't surprise that she was still zonked out when I got back, so I pulled out the old laptop and get some more work done. A lot of good information about jaguars, and submitted the completed new chapters. While I was working, sleeping beauty woke up and told me she was going home for her things. If I'd been thinking, I would have given her the keys to the van, but I just made sure she had an Uber. But I wasn't doing a lot of thinking these days. Went to the mall, figured I'd get her a Welcome Home present; and if you get one a present, you get them all a present. I was in the living room making Aqua's when Bunny came in with another one of her strays. This one seems to be alright especially in a philanthropic sense. When Richie Rich and his Entourage left, Bunny showed me something I had missed before.

11/03/17 — Friday, ugh. Woke up later than I had intended to, not my fault. Not at all. Bunny was sleeping in, lucky, so I left her there and went to school. Almost didn't make it into Two-Dimensional Practices in time. Saw the guys at the Quad. Ben immediate was gross, and this time he got an elbow from Andre. While those two wrestled, Sam asked me what was going on, so I told him, well, a little bit. I don't think his brows will come back from orbit. I swore him to secrecy, but who knows how long that'll last and I got a slap on the shoulder and a 'You dawg'. Walking to my bike, I realize I kinda am. Well, more than kinda. But I'm not supposed to dwell on that. Back home. Bunny's still snoozing; how much sleep does that girl need? So I cracked out the laptop and got some work done. Everything was going great until my phone rang. Turns out Fox 5 ran a piece on Aqua and I's elope-age, and the Publicist was P.O.! Did I ever get an ear full. She was mad, she was yelling, and weirdly she was disappointed. We had a conversation, but she still wasn't happy when ended the call; more like miffed. I wasn't back to work for long when the Doctor came over to talk, and brush my hair. That was nice, we hadn't done that in awhile. While we were talking about her, Bunny arose from the dead, just after the sun went down. I guess she'd been up longer and talking on her phone, because a friend of hers came over. Bombshell. I didn't so much put my foot in my mouth as make the worst first impression in recorded history. The four of us chatted for a little while being Bombshell had to go, no, it was very nice seeing HER. And when Bunny started getting frisky, the good Doctor vacated as well. Oh, Bunny. What am I going to do with you?

11/02/17 — Woke up to a very nice sight, and stayed around the condo for awhile. I helped provide care for someone's stability. Well. Kinda. No, not at all. As usual, I was a complete and total distraction but at least I had fun doing it. Bunny called a friend over since there was an accident, and what-do-you-know, the Doctor was there. I figure it's about time I change her moniker, since, really, that's all in the past. And they were all there when the Wife came home. The guests were nervous, but I was a good boy. But she didn't stay for too long, Doctor either. After a chat, then sleep. Tomorrow, I guess I have to go to school before I start to flunk out, if that happens, not only with the Publishers punish me monetarily, but I'm sure Aqua wouldn't be to happy.

11/01/17 — Stayed in and played hookie from school. Since Aqua wasn't in town to make me. Spent the day opening up and enjoying bunny shaped candy. Hooray for Halloween!

10/31/17 — The day after the confrontation. I'd gone there to get punished, but I'm not really sure what's going on. I was a little distracted at school and with work because of it, but just to make sure she's eating I brought over something for her to eat, but I shouldn't have bother, though the thought was appreciated. Instead I got a late start for the party at The Crypt, which was unfortunate. The wife helped. Some. Before I left I made sure we were still ok, and she reassured me. I guess-- I don't know, I guess Amanda and the Ex had done more damage than I thought they had. It's not that I don't believe her when she says we're fine, and we show it but it's just, a let down? Anyways, went to the party, saw some zombies and sexy witches, and sexy nurses and sexy Native Americans and sexy zombies and sexy… well pretty much everything really. Apparently I couldn't get frisked if I wanted to, but I ended the day on a good note. A really good note. Back to bed before this little bunny wakes up though.

10/30/17 — In the morning she was gone. If it wasn't for the mess I'd have thought last night was a dream. Fortunately Aqua hadn't come home, do I did the best I could do to cover up the scene of the crime and then, when confronted with all of it, it was just another big mount of lies that looked like laundry and welts down my back. And I wanted to tell her, I wanted to come clean. But the fight last time… I don't think we would survive me doing this again. And I had to go to class, and jog. All my normal staff. Some of the boys found me on campus, Scott told me they found the perfect strippers. Considering what just happened I told him no way. No strippers. Something jarring about the way he smiled and agreed, but I believe him. Still nothing back from the Publicist. As the day wore so did I and, I couldn't stand another night without her. I rode out to see the wife, and the way she greeted me was.
Thrilling and shaming at the sametime. But I don't deserve her. I saw the door to that room, the I'm not brave enough to go in, but today I was. I put myself in her hands and she shocked me. It's more that she knew, it was everything. Are we're going to be ok; was I was killing myself over nothing?

10/29/17 — I've been feeling so guilty, I had to do something about it. While Aqua was away, I called The Fan, asked her to come over. I hated to say it, but, we needed to talk. And then I met the Neighbor in the hallway. She still looks good, but. But she's another person that I'd gotten too carried away with. Not like that, but it could have been. And I won't say I wouldn't want to, it's just that something always got in the way with her, usually right at the last second. My conscience. But when we needed to talk, where was it then?

10/28/17 — Still wearing t-shirts with the pjs. Spent the day in, watching television with the little wifey. Feelings of guilt still aren't going away, and I'm taking on everything; breakfast, lunch and dinner chores. Probably overcompensating. Called the publicist and left a message, maybe she has something for me to do that'll take me away so I don't have to see her, and feel like, well, feel bad. Really bad. I just don't want another fight like the last one, that scared me. I can do this. I can be cool, calm and collected. Millions of people lie everyday, heck, some do it professionally. I can do it to for, … uh, the, like, rest of my life. God. Maybe we should get a puppy.

10/27/17 — For Friday, I was out of the Condo early and went for a longer run than usual. Just me and my memories. I mean thoughts. It's likes I… I don't know, but maybe I should talk to someone about it. But I have to be careful because I can't just talk to anyone about what's wrong with me, so then what do I do? In the shower I found out I have some scratches down my back. Normally I'd fess up; the guilt is eating me alive. But considering what happened last time, I don't know that I can. I'm stupid. Just stupid. And now I can't be honest with her, and I can't lie. I can't look at her without feeling guilty, and my appetite isn't doing so well either. School was, I don't even remember. I was there, I remember that much. To make matters worse, finally heard from the parents. They FedEx'd some tickets to go to Bora Bora as a wedding present, which is more than any of my other siblings got. I thought it was nice, I think Aqua thought something malicious. She's so endearing the way she loves my Mom.

10/26/17 — Another school day. I didn't get to see the wife, I guess she had somewhere that she had to be. And then I got a text from The Fan. How about dinner, she asked. Sounded innocuous enough. I don't know what's wrong with me. From the moment I walked into her office, I think I was damned. I just know this: if Aqua finds out, mine will be the shortest marriage in history.

10/25/17 — Publishers. Said I was dragging my feet, and my grades were slipping. They wanted to send me to South America, do some research first hand, this was back with the Ex. So it sorta feels like I have two sets of parents. Three, really, if you include Aqua and you're only talking about schooling because, ew. Gross, otherwise. Anyways, they wanted to see what I had, so I sent that off to them, who knows if they'll like it or hate it. Since i was thinking about it, I thought about giving the Publicist a call or text, but then I remembered she was probably still with that executive in New York, and didn't want to get in the way of that. Did a bit of school work and then Netflix and Chilled with the wife. The Wife. Aw, man, I'm never going to get tired of typing that. The Wife. My Wife. I should go see how Shooting star is doing.

10/24/17 — Standard routine day, you know, jog breakfast school, dashed home for lunch, meander back for more school. Only I saw the guys from the frat. Of all of them, Ben took the news the worst. It was like he was looking forward to Christmas and I'd just told him there's no such thing as-- uh, I mean that it was cancelled. Scott congratulated me, like the others, but told me that it still doesn't mean we weren't going to celebrate, get drunk and do something stupid. I smiled, but I'm wondering what day it is so I can be sick then. I got a weird call too, just silence. Wouldn't answer or say hello. Also from SanFran. What are the odds on two wrong numbers to my phone?

10/23/17 — Today we just stayed home. It was another 'Us' day. I could honestly have as many of those in a row as I could get away with. Playing hookie from school and just spent in bed, with my number one fan. She said she let me play hookie, but if I spent too much time from school I'll become stupid. I offered stupider, she just smiled. So that's a yes. Still nothing from the parents. I'm not sure if, after what she did, if I should try to talk to them first or if they'll call again. Maybe tomorrow. And I have to apologize to the neighbors, that music was way too loud.

10/22/17 — She stepped out for a few seconds to get something to eat and drink from the kitchen, so I figured I'd jot some words down. Seems like, with the rush to tie the knot and then the even faster rush home, we'd forgotten to tell my family. This afternoon, I got a long text broken into three, interrupt our fun. So we decided that then was as good a time as any. I should have turned off the phone, but I was, well, distracted, and it wasn't long after I let Mom know I'd married the woman of my dreams that she called. Aqua grabbed the phone, and by the time it was past down to me, Mom wasn't on the line anymore. I'm probably going to hear about this later; but at least-- there she is. But at least we can continue our honeymoon in peace.<br\>Turns out peace isn't everlasting. The Fan sent me another text with super bad news, so I went over to cheer her up. And I did. And I did. Helped her to forget.

10/21/17 — Saturday was spent at home. You know why. I'd even turned my phone off for awhile, when Mom wouldn't stop. We're going to have to tell her at sometime. Soon. I guess somewhere between rehydrating I must have turned it back on because I got a text from The Fan. She was in the area and wanted to come over, and just then, there was a knock. I guess I was a little distracted from answering. Aqua and I put things on pause, and pretended to be good hosts. She, The Fan, mentioned some troubling news that happened at her camping trip. I tried to distract her in the ways that I could think of and she was the first person that we told the news to, so that helped distract her. In the end, I think she was feeling better when she left, and that's a good thing. Now; where was I before the knock on the door? Oh yeah...

10/20/17 — We did it. We're nuts. We're young.<br\>And we went to City hall and eloped. I'm married. I'm someone's husband. Man. I never thought that that would happen. I was just looking at some new email that Mom and Sue were exchanging and had another freak out. I hadn't even heard of some of these people and I didn't know their relations. Mom's wedding was, … well it was small. Just the two of them saying they did to each other and for the longest time that was enough. Yeah, I guess that technically makes me a bastard. But when Aqua found me freak out again, she's just got this way about her and one thing led to another and when she offered to push the date back I guess I thought she was having second thoughts and counter offered with racing to City hall and, well, you know how it turned out. The Hippie married a Goth. If opposites attract, it explains why I feel so pulled to her.

10/19/17 — Hump day, aptly named, I guess. Took some time between classes to get some writing done in the computer lab, and a bit of research. Book is coming along nicely, and just in time too. I can think of a few good titles but I can't think of anything that I really like -- I'm not married to any of them. Har.

10/18/17 — After the morning jog along the cold beach and breakfast, I took the bike over to school and exchanged some texts with the sister. I told her an idea I had that morning while I was jogging and it'll probably backfire and blow up in my face, most of my plans like that do, but I asked Sue to take a look into finding Aqua's parents. I know she doesn't hold them in high regard, and she's got every reason to, but I really can't think that they wouldn't want to be there for this transition in their daughter's life. Or, if my little lady doesn't like that idea, then the next one would be to send them an invitation, but purposefully late. I think she's rubbing off on me, and not in the usually very pleasant ways.

10/17/17 — Susan. If it isn't Mom, then it's my oldest sister. Not that she acts like an older sibling, that's Mark's job. Sunshine's more a last child than I ever am, the black sheep of the family. The things she's into, I couldn't even keep track, so when she calls and lets me know that Mom's telling everybody that I'm getting married and nobody from our side of the family is invited because the bride doesn't want us there… well, I had to set the record straight. It took awhile, but in the end I was able to get Sue to see what was going on and how much I was freaking out and Mom's, … energy wasn't helping. She offered to help, with some of it anyways, which is nice of her, and I was more than willing to take it. And she said she'd let the rest of the family know it was just Mom being Mom and freaking out a little. I got teased, Momma's Little Boy is growing up, getting married, and she's having trouble letting go.

10/16/17 — Some class work, and between them, while I was writing, I got a call from dear darling Mother. She wanted to know how things were going, and since I didn't get a chance to tell Dad about it the day before, I told Mom how soon the wedding day was. Mom freaked. I mean, to put it simply, she just came unglued. She started going over all the things that we needed to have for the wedding. It started with the guest list. If I didn't include Uncle this, or Cousin that then the family will be ruined, and there just wasn't enough time to get the invitations printed and mailed in such short notice. Then there was the venue, and the officiant. Photographer, florist, band, caterer. Videographer, dress, hotel reservations for all the out of towners, register. Honeymoon, bridesmaids' dresses, save-the-date cards, transportation. Rehearsal, rehearsal-dinners, hair, make-up, music. Music, wedding favors, list of toast givers, newspaper announcement, marriage license, assigned seating, bridesmaids' gifts. I think she was still talking, but I'd dropped the phone long before then and was staring at Aqua with deep anxiety while she was listening to Mom talking. I'd like to say that I handled myself with poise and bravery, but I didn't. After Aqua said good bye and hung up, she asked if I'd rather just elope to Las Vegas, and have Elvis marry us. I whimpered loudly while we cuddled.

10/15/17 — After the morning workout and breakfast, went to the school's library. While I was there, though, I got another text. This one told me that if I went through with it, I would regret my wedding day. I finally had it so I texted back, asking who this was. I didn't get anything back so I forgot about it. It wasn't until I got home, and was lounging under a carob high when I got a phone call from the same number that was texting me. But when I answered it and said Hello, I didn't hear anything other than breathing. For a few seconds before they hung up. Now I was getting creeped out, so I listened to Aqua, blocked the number and returned to chilling with maximum Netflix. Not a problem anymore.

10/14/17 — I guess Aqua liked the videos. I got woken up in the most creative of ways but I don't think that I'll be able to go past a bakery without blushing. At least a little bit. Dad called; wanted to know how things we going on. I filled him in on the specifics, especially with the trouble I'm having with writing my own vows. Typical Dad, he had some good advice. Don't force it. Let the words come. He said that sometimes it helps to just look at what you want to write about, or think about it, and be inspired. I hope I'm half the Father Dad is one day. Though, to be fair, he's had more chances to practice his craft that I have. I spent some time working on finding the right words, and when I needed to take a break, working on the book. Words, man. Words. Everywhere there's words.

10/13/17 — Nothing new at school, really. Going to look forward to the upcoming weeks when we discuss totem poles and masks. Those seem like fun and I could get involved in that. Ben and Blake from the frat was at the food court and called me over. They asked me if there was a date for the wedding yet, which brought about a conversation about being to young to marry that I haven't heard before, he wrote sarcastically. When I told Ben he said that was good because there might be some people around still, if they haven't left for winter break or something, but then got on his phone because he said he'll have calls to make. While he was doing that, Blake asked to see a picture, so I showed him one, he looked impressed, and had to be reminded she was already spoken for. Asked if I'd knocked her up, because he's a classy sort of guy. But I left him wondering. At home I made a few videos about a sustainable farming community I'd found. It's pretty neat, and looks like it works well. Then, just for fun, did a 'My Girlfriend Does My Makeup' video. Laughs for everybody.

10/12/17 — The morning brought my normal jog and breakfast routine. Stayed a little longer than I should have, making sure that Aqua was properly fed, so I had to hussle to school. I had a close call on the way to work, think I nearly got pulled over by the police, so I slowed down a little. Managed to get to class barely on time, this professor has a rule: the doors get locked when the class starts. So, phew. After school, I got a visit by some guys I didn't know, telling me they can't wait. I was bewildered but got hearty backslaps as they left. I went back to working on my vows. I don't know why I have so much trouble with them. I'm staring at just one line. There should be more. The words usually just roll from me but with this, these words I can't seem to find the right ones. The ones to tell her just how I feel. That, no matter what, whatever else happens, or happened. For me, there's only ever been her, since the first day I met her and climbed over the picnic table to be near her. To hold her. Watch her peacefully sleeping. If only I could tell her all of that in a few words.

10/11/17 — In the morning my worry hasn't been helped. At all. Aqua was able to distract me, pleasantly enough, but she didn't really have any of the answers I was looking for. Just said that it was being taken of. Whatever that means, but I've said it before. If you're going to marry, marry a sugar-momma that puts up with your misbehavior and eccentricities. So I languished under her attention for a bit, before I got another one of those texts that brought my mood down. Aqua could tell that something was wrong but didn't pry, which is good because I didn't want her to see what this person had just called her. A reverse phone number look-up didn't show who the phone number belonged to.

10/10/17 — There really isn't enough hours in the day to get everything I want to get gone. After my jog, yeah, I'm feeling better, I picked up breakfast. I missed a couple of turns while I was sick so it was only fair. Thought about my vows while I was in line. And the ceremony itself. Only a couple of months away and there really hasn't been any planning on that front at all. Took out my phone and started looking up venues. I was still looking up places that might be both nice and have a vacancy. And then I started thinking about flowers and cake. Bouquets, dresses. I think I started hyperventilating, which is totally unlike me. I mean, this day has to be absolutely perfect and the invites haven't even been made. Oh god, the invites, who do I invite? I was only momentarily interrupted when my order was done but when I ran home it was for a different reason altogether. Have to have a talk with Aqua about this, and Mom.

10/09/17 — When Monday rolled around I was feeling like my usual sexy self. So, no reason not to go back to school. Class was raw, professor was cold. Worse still when my phone rang in class because I forgot to turn the ringer off. At least this time I knew who the call was from. I called the publishers back and had a conversation about the book. They were tentative about the subject but said they'd let me continue. Now I have to do more of that, ugh.

10/08/17 — Spent a third day at home, recuperating from the festive flu season. At least I got to watch some fun things, and absorb some sunlight from the patio. I wasn't great, but by the afternoon I finally went out for a run, or at least I thought I would be I didn't get far before I got a little light headed, so I didn't push myself. Went home and collapsed on the couch. When I woke up from my nap I'd developed a blanket and a pillow. She hates me so much. :) The condo was dark and she wasn't around, so, feeling a little better, I went out to WaffleMania for waffles. Ran into The Fan. I'm going to have to have what she ate next time. Who moans when eating waffles, or does that to sausage? We were hanging out when I got another text from the same number, this one was less friendly, warning me that I'd better stay away from her. I looked around, but didn't see anyone, or who the her was. Who's texting me?

10/07/17 — Woke up still sick from another nap. Hung out in bed, watching youtube on the tablet, or the phone when one or the other had to recharge. Aqua hung out with me for most of it even though I didn't want her to get ill. At least I was want for nothing, even her company. She said she knew I was feeling better when I got frisky, but trust is she brings out the best in me. My mostly aqua-haired muse. But the end of the day the drugs and tea had worked their magic, and I was feeling a bit better. Even so, not a hundred percent.

10/06/17 — Not got much to say today except I'm dying. I'm sick. Prolly got it from school or from all those sweet, young things that throw themselves at me, says Aqua. Har, death rattle, sneeze, har. At least she's around to keep care of me while I stay in bed and try to keep my slipping off my mortal coil to a minimum. Oh god, my chest.

10/05/17 — Woke in the morning feeling like death. I wanted to stay in, but school and all. I'm actually taking topics I don't know all that well so I have to concentrate a little. For once I didn't bother going out to run. I gave a half-assed attempt on the occipital, but my heart wasn't in it. Instead I went to school and tried not to die. Had a case of the sniffles in the morning and as the day wore on I felt better. As he was passing me by, Scott asked me, with a mischievous grin, what size gorilla suit did I wear? I replied I thought he got my measurements from the last outfit he stuffed me into, and he smiled wider at that, but didn't stay. I'm nervous, but I'll be a good sport. I usually am. After classes I spotted off and bought some chicken soup, did some work on the book and watched television. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

10/04/17 — I cut it a little close in the morning, so I had to go to school in my jogging outfit. The guys gave me a little grief at the food court later. Between being sexist, and I mean I like the guy otherwise, Ben suggested that I register for Ironman 70.3 Santa Rosa in May. Why not, I figured, what's the worst that could happen? Getting to call myself Iron Man with wicked Ozzy Osbourne guitar licks in the background? Totally worth it. Then after a bit of talking about this and that, it came back around to me and how I don't have any plans for a stag party. Scott laughed wickedly, slapped me hard on the back and told me not to worry about it. As if the evil glint in his eye wasn't worrisome enough. The rest of the day seemed pretty normal for a Wednesday, except after dinner I got a weird text from a 415 area code, but a number I didn't know. 'You're mine', is all it said. Weird wrong number, so I didn't bother replying. Aqua went out for something and if I didn't have work to do I would have totally joined her, but I don't hate to see her going. Wait, … ew.

10/03/17 — Mom and Dad hadn't left yet by early morning. They sent me a text to tell me to come meet them. Together the three of us went to see the mother of my baby. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect, but it didn't seem all that bad. She had her own place, and it seemed all nice and comfortable, where all she had to do was concentrate on being well and healthy. There were pictures of the three month old Bean. I've seen sonograms from my brother and sister's kids, but it's different when it's your own. I noticed that my parents were decidedly nicer to Shooting star than they are to Aqua, and I can guess as to why that is. The place did remind me a little of a place where one retires their dog to a farm upstate. But if it were a retirement home, it looked nice and clean. I wouldn't mind retiring there. I should have talked to Mom and Dad before we parted about why they treat them differently, but I forgot until after I saw them off back home to SanFran.

10/02/17 — The parents came over again, after breakfast. Things between Mom and Aqua were… better. Not great, I don't think they're going to the spa anytime soon together, but they were at least talking together without things seeming awkward or Aqua raising her voice. The date for the big day came up and Aqua and I exchanged surprised looks, because we hadn't thought about that. She wanted something close to Halloween. That's my pretty Goth. I offered January 1st, because then that way every time Time Square's ball dropped it meant another year with her. Mom offered that a more traditional June or August. Aqua and I compromised with December 31st, and I'll admit that it's going to be a difficult day to forget, so so much for that excuse. We had an early dinner before Mom and Dad went back to their hotel, to get ready to go back home in the morning. Aqua couldn't be more relieved, but I think she hid it pretty well. Nobody believes you when you say something like 'Aw, what a shame.'

10/01/17 — Another day with my parents, off to show them Prospect. When we were at the University, we saw a couple of the guys. Two forces crashed together, both of them making fun of me. Oh, it was such a hoot. One of them brought up my little adventure, calling me Princess which Mom somehow thought was college kids flirting with her. Dad looked more amused than ticked. They both united over my upcoming nuptials, the guys saying that I was making a mistake, I was too young, there's better girls out there. And Mom saying, well, really the same thing. Finally I just, I just couldn't and I lost my mind and Mom got the blunt of it. I told her how Aqua had been there for me. How she was my everything. How duty be damned, I'm going to marry her, we're going to be happy, and if she didn't like it, then she could just stay home.
I instantly felt bad, I'm sure I was red-faced. The guys seemed more surprised than my parents. I walked off in a huff, only because I didn't know what else to do, but they drove so I just went back to the car. And that's where they found me. Mom apologized, I apologized. Dad was calm and stoic. Mom said she'd try to be better and I thanked her and we went home and had some tea. We were sitting around and laughing when Aqua/not-Aqua came come and I have to admit, Mom did give it her best before they went back to their hotel. I got a text later on from The Fan. They were having a girl's night out and wanted to know if I wanted to be there. Since I'm always in favor of seeing the girls out, it didn't take me long to get there. Doctor Wheel was there too and when they asked what was new, I shared my news. I got tackled and for the first time had second thoughts, cold feet. It's really. REALLY difficult trying to be good. The Fan shared her bad news and the rest of us tried to cheer her up. I painted toes and even had a glass of Champagne until it was really late and I had to go home. Some guy out there is making a really stupid mistake I think, but then again, what do I know?

09/30/17 — Got a text from Dad this morning. They wanted to be shown around the place. It wasn't all that difficult to get away from Aqua/not-Aqua, I just had to tell her that Mom wanted a tour of the town, which is true enough. We got to all the places we needed to, Mom doing most of the talking, like she does. The best part of the whole trip is that I got to show them both WaffleMania. Any excuse I can get to stuff carbs into my mouth. Mom turned down any offers I gave to come back home with me, talk to the Fiance more but I'm not exactly sure why. That is until she spent a little bit of the conversation at the Mania just bad mouthing her. It was starting to get old and, I have to admit that she was doing it while I was showing her around too. Sigh, I just. Everytime I'm around Mom I revert to a five year old and that's not healthy if I want to, I don't know, be a man or be an adult or something.

09/29/17 — I'll admit I was a little surprised. Nothing from Mom or Dad, but Aqua/not-Aqua was a little less frosty this morning. I brought her breakfast in bed even though it wasn't my turn to make it, and gave her another apology and I'm kind of worried, but I won't say it to her, that if… when she and I raise my baby together, if it would be a daily reminder of what I did and how I let her down. I don't know if I could do that if the shoe were on the other foot. I mean, I love her, of that, there's no question. Anyways, I was also expecting a call from my parents, so I took my phone with me when I went out to jog after breakfast and a little bit of affection because my love tank was empty. Went to classes like usual and it was actually pretty fun. We're going to learn a little bit about totem poles and that's pretty interesting, all things considered. When I got home it was a normal night, television, and homework and then some more research about the new book before chasing the Fiance into bed.

09/28/17 — Day had a normal start to it. Which should have been my first clue as to how horrible the day was going to turn out to be. Classes where fine. I ran into one of the guys at the food court. He had this girl with him, Stacey. Wow. He made me an offer though that he'd let me have her if I took my ring off. That lead into a short conversation about how women aren't property, they're people. And through Stacey's blank, vacuous stare, I could tell if anyone was home, they might have agreed with me. I guess this is what he meant by tight. In the end he scoffed and took his barbie with him, poor thing, and I went back to my tater tots. They don't could as carbs if I close my eyes when I eat them, but I should probably stop eating them if I want to fit into my dress for the wedding.
All those thoughts were fleeting when I got home and told Aqua/not-Aqua what had happened at school. I knew I was a good boy who did a good thing when I got my favorite reward. We then continued making dinner, when there was a knock on the door. Answering the door in my apron and a smile, imagine my surprise when it was my parents. Kumo entertained for awhile while I ran into the bedroom and I tripped over the dresser in my hurry. Mom accused Aqua/not-Aqua of lying before the truth came out about my unfaithfulness, where the baby is coming from. Now that I think about it, I wonder if Mom thought this was a shotgun wedding. They didn't get married until after Susan, so that's not all that fair. Anyways, learning that I'm a bad boyfriend and I couldn't keep it in my pants sorta put a dampener on the evening. Plus, they didn't exactly call to let us know they were coming so, Mom and Dad said their goodbyes and left, while things couldn't have gotten cooler in the condo.

09/27/17 — Woke up a little late. I can afford to because my class isn't until later in the day. Took a run down the shoals and with the uneven ground really did a number on me. When I got home I was a little more sore than usual. Aqua had breakfast all ready when I came in, only she wasn't aqua anymore. I don't know why she wears the color or the wig or the contacts. She's plenty pretty without all that stuff and I told her so the last time I saw it, during The Fight and so I told her again. There wasn't much going on in school either, classes just started, new professors, new rules. Things are coming up Milhouse.

09/26/17 — Woke up this morning; my turn to make breakfast. I took a jog and picked up some bagels and coffee on the way back. I did some more research on the new book. Nothing heavy, but at least it was progress. When she wasn't in the room I even gave some thought about my vows. And sometimes when she was in the room and all I could do was look at her rather than the television. And, of course, there was the homework that I had make sure to keep up on. I'm not exactly thrilled about the Intro to Art Making: 2D practices, but Pacific Coast American Indian art, that seems really great.
Hey. Is that wolf howl?

09/25/17 — First day of classes. Wasn't so bad. Woke up but the (sort of) WIFE wasn't around. I guess she had somewhere to be, that happens. So I took a little stroll and thought about calling my parents back, making sure that they didn't, you know, come down. Not that I don't like seeing them. That's not it at all, it's just that I'd rather it be for something more pleasant. And maybe go into the details of how she's going to be a Grandmother. But then maybe that's a conversation that should be done in person. I met some of the people from last quarter, the guys of the fraternity. Jacob noticed the ring and man did I get it. They just don't get it, when you meet The One. Scott, Ben and Jacob told me they have to throw a stag party for 'The Old Man'. That's me. Ben promised he could find me someone tighter, whatever that means. Sorta gross.

09/24/17 — Seeing as how tomorrow was the start of school, we came up for air in the afternoon. Stretching out I went for a late jog. A late and short jog. Everything hurt and I should have stretched before but better late than never. I'd been dragging my feet about making this call but when I got home I called my parents on speaker so Aqua could partake. Mom wasn't home, that happens, but after the pleasantries were over, we told Dad the good news. He was enthusiastic, and I could tell it was genuine. He liked Aqua from the one time they met, but then Dad doesn't not get along with most people. He apologized that Mom wasn't there to hear the news, but that he'll make sure to tell her, and spread the news among the family. Within a couple of hours we got several calls or texts with well wishes. After a bit of a break we drove out to Lemon Grove and La Mesa to look at lots. Aqua wants to build a new house, a dome home. Something with solar which I'm all for. Living off the grid, but not so far away from Prospect, or LA. I started working on my vows and I have a whole sentence so far. It has to be… perfect. But that's when the fireworks started. Mom called and she... wasn't happy. She raised some valid concerns, sure: I'd only known her for 5 months, I'm her baby, she (Mom) had only met her once. Somehow she made it all about her. I love my Mom, you know that, but sometimes, she can be infuriating. And it only got worse when I told her she was going to be a Grandmother again. I didn't even manage to get every far into THAT mess when she cut me off and told me she was coming over to see me. That turned into about twenty minutes of me telling her she didn't need to do that and her telling me she had to make sure everything was done right. I don't remember her doing this when Mark got married, but once she's made up her mind about something, only something shiny, Dad, or sleep can stop her. So I can expect a visit and soon, she said. Sigh. Life, am I right?

09/21/17 — Today's the day of the auction. So much to do. I had to get my hair up and then go to the salon to get my hands and feet done. Might as well get a wrap too I figured while I was there to make sure my skin is soft and supple. Aqua likes me pretty. I think she even had less getting ready than I did. We made sure to eat before we left; advice long ago from Mom, to make sure I'm not seen chewing or trying to have a conversation while eating. We watched a bit of the show; the Neighbor and the Fan both had a dance together that was pretty sexy. A few other things of no consequence happened and then Kumo and I took Kiki home. Yup. Nothing at all happened. Oh hold on, something did happen of minor importance.

SHE PROPOSED!

09/20/17 — Took my morning run, and then for breakfast I went to school. Yeah, shut up, it's just that the bookstore was open and I wanted to get my books. Unfortunately they weren't all available and then the quad wasn't open either. School looks so dead, and deserted, maybe worse than summer classes. So I'll have to go to the internet and fetch them there; even get stabbed with a decent shipping so I'll have them for Monday. Aqua's been just a little weird lately, something seems like it's on her mind but I dunno what. I caught her staring at me while we were mindlessly watching the boob-tube. I asked her what. She said it wasn't anything. I sometimes I can't tell if she's looking at me because she loves me, like I do when she's sleeping, or like she wants to stab me in the temple. Not that I think she would hurt me, I'm trying to say she's still so guarded. And I don't blame her, she's probably just picking up on me holding back, not being one hundred percent truthful with her.

09/19/17 — Well I'm an idiot. Hush, I know you know that but you don't have to be mean about it. Anyways, the reason why I said it is because the fire festival is already over. Went out with Aqua to the woods rather than watching people burn stuff. All in all though, a much better expenditure of my time, but I'll miss the sand at Camp Meriwether, and finding it in places I don't remember even seeing the sun. Regardless, school doesn't start until next week so I have all sorts of time. After the morning ritual (and I discovered my error and spent some time feeling like an idiot), I pulled out some old footage from my previous trips and set up a couple of videos. Worst part is the editing, still. Casey Neistat once told me that if I wanted to have a lot of subscribers, best thing to do is to have a regular release schedule. And while he did a post a day regardless of content, I just couldn't do that. So the struggle continues. Couple of the comments were wondering why I hadn't done anything substantial about climate change and it's obvious effects on the weather but those people are lunatics and it sparked an argument. Crazy. Everybody knows why the things are getting worse.

09/18/17 — Schedule returns to normal. I talked to Aqua about going to the Fire Gathering. She stared at me, cupped my cheeks and told me I'm adorable. Then she walked off. I'm not sure if that's a yes or a no. … maybe it's a maybe. I'll buy the tickets anyways, and if she doesn't I'll give them to someone else. Well, not tickets, you get your name on a list, but still. I remember going there once and asked a guy what his name was and he told me he'd rather I gave him a name. Had my jog, of course. Still a bit of a wait to see when we're going to expect a visit. On one hand I want it over with, but on the other I don't want there to be anything wrong and them to find a reason why I can't take care of Bean. No new letters under the door either. Now I have to look forward, and I just realized Bean'll be walking before I graduate. Weirdness. Later in the evening, I heard music from across the hall. I went over since I hadn't thanked the Neighbor yet for helping me. I saw something I shouldn't have, and after a bit I had to go, with a bit of a gash. Have to remember to look up what 'kaso' means.

09/17/17 — We came home early on Sunday. Wanted to beat the traffic back, she said. I believed her too, until Aqua just about ran for the shower, shedding clothes as she went. And while I could have just enjoyed the view from the patio, I was smelly too. I told her too about the Neighbor; I remembered about it before when I was hauling some of our things in (Aqua's strong. Probably from all that manual labor.) She was holding something back, that much I could tell, but it wasn't bad because her eye didn't do that twitching thing, like Uncle Thomas, and the vein at his temple when he gets really piiiissssed. Regardless, at least I could tell her, and it's great to be back home. Whew. I checked in with my people. The publishers wanted to know how the book was coming. The one I forgot about, so that's fun. And the publicist, she's still in New York. Apparently she's dating one of the executives we met. Good for her, but she didn't have any other news for me other then the pilot was written and they were scouting locations. Apparently nobody works unless they've gotten paid, or promised that they will, so it sorta drags. That's show biz, I'm told.

09/16/17 — More people during the night. I was a little embarrassed that we didn't hear them. We'll have to be quieter so as to not disturb other people just looking for a nice weekend. Lazypants stayed in for a bit longer than usual. We talked about what to do when we left and got back home. First thing out of Aqua's mouth was a shower; she's adorable, but that's not what I meant and she knew it. Had someone wander through our unmarked campsite, so it's not like I can blame them, but I only heard them after. The caravan is going to have to be, I don't know, hosed out? Burnt and rebuilt? How does such a tiny girl make such a mess?

09/15/17 — Friday brought some campers in the evening. But that was the evening. In the morning we had a warm breakfast and limited clean up. Spending all this time in close quarters with Aqua makes me think we can make this work. I mean, if we can spend days with nothing but each other (and our electrical devices) for entertainment, and she hasn't yelled or had that adorable eye twitch once… The hike today was as uneventful as before. More tracks, and they were definately wolf, and bear? Anyways, I didn't contradict her this time, they were too big to be coyote and I'm supposed to be the expert. Heh. Expert. Anyways, the weekend is here, so it brought a neighbor. He seems nice, forty-something, rugged. Said he was a banker, or something and comes here all the time. As I thought he warned against drinking the tepid water pools we'd found. Running water only, bubbling is best.

09/14/17 — While we were hiking today we found still pools of water. Which nice for washing, I suppose, I definitely wouldn't drink it. But it would be a place to empty our gray water nearby and let the earth filter it out and fill out there if our supply doesn't last. Not that I think it wouldn't, we aren't going to stay that long. Had lunch when she noticed some paw prints on the ground. Wolf, of course, and she wouldn't hear my idea that maybe it was a big coyote. Either way, it meant we had to be careful. Or well, more careful. Brave woman that she is, she seemed unfazed, probably because I was there to protect her. I know what to do if it's a wolf, not much of anything, because they've run the other way. The evening was another long night of hard core snuggles, getting away from the city and just enjoying us time.

09/13/17 — We arrived at the camp site in the afternoon and then van was easily set up like usual. Took stock of supplies and then there was a little time to take a hike. We came back and got reacquainted before it was time for dinner. Cooking over a camping stove is certainly different than at home and I forgot that. Since there was a little bit of daylight left, we opened the back doors and watched some nature happen while reading and writing, her doodling on her tablet, me on mine getting some notes done while I napped on her. Except for sending a little email, it was just her and me with nobody else to get in the way.

09/12/17 — Took another ride down to the natural trail and then jogged up along it. The view with the summit is really something. I had a sit there and ate something like I watched the city beneath me. My the city. That's a Tick reference for you and a damn fine one. The other professor met me at her office after I came home for lunch, and I was able to get my last final sorted out. Passed, both of them, hooray. Summer classes makes it seem like they last for ever. Since I was on campus, I got things sorted for fall. A whole two weeks off and to myself, mostly. But now I can be reckless. I'd asked Aqua before if she wanted to go camping before and know that I had some time and she only has a few meetings here and there, I guess to maintain her wealth, now's the perfect time. Just her, me, and nothing else to do. Time to gear up some videos and lay down the summer schedule. One subscriber turned me on to Guitars Not Guns a good mentorship program for at risk kids to teach them how to play the guitar. Also, have to ask Aqua if she wants to go to Pacific Fire with me. I'd love to have someone with me this year!

09/11/17 — So this morning I woke up to something wonderful, he said somewhat sarcastically. I had a great dream and got snuggles from Aqua because of it. She slept in because it was my turn for breakfast. On the way back with breakfast in bed I saw a letter tucked under the door. Shooting star left me a little note. News about the baby was really appreciated. I'm man enough to say I might have cried a little. But just a little. Maybe. It's too soon to know but she's already assigned her a gender. It's cute and reminds me of something she would do. She ends it by asking me a question and I want to answer her, but I promised I wouldn't. Wouldn't talk to her, or get in touch with her and I understand Aqua's position, I do. But I have to do, … something. I showered Aqua with some affection and then showed her the letter. She's sets a hard line in the sand and then when it seems like it's important to me, she bends a little. I spent the rest of the day making sure she knew she's always going to be my number one, no matter what. Until the end of time; just her and me. Right up until she had to go home for a bit. I got a text from the Fan who asked if I wanted to go for a swim at hers. I should have said no. I should have been good. But I don't have to tell you I have a certain weakness. Her bikini was criminal. I thought I had had a stroke. No, shut up, I mean heart attack. I would have had a harde-- more difficult time of it but she kept asking me about Aqua and that gave me a chance to talk her up and remind me of her. Most importantly, stay good. I've come such a long way. Just last year I would have been beaten into an inch of my life for being here with her. I'm so lucky, there's no way I'm going to ruin it now.

09/10/17 — So this Sunday Aqua and I decided to go to church and w-- oh, ok. I'll be serious. Since I got my voice back last night, I answered a few of her questions then, and then this morning told her how I feel about her and showered her like love and attention. And breakfast. Another jog, this time down to the Athletic Park. I finally got a good sweat on and to look at some of the damage that was still being cleaned up. The city had a couple of crews I passed by trying to get branches out of the way and so on. Since I was a good boy last night, I wasn't greeted with homework at the door, but I did text my Professors to let them know my medical problem was over. One of them got back to me right away, told me he could arrange for me to take the make-up that day at his office. Since Aqua said she had to go for a bit for a meeting, I let her know about my plans. It also gave me a chance to go out afterwards for a drive in the woods. I met a person who acted as a translator and got to find out that I had more support than I thought I had. Though I'm a little worried about step one. From here on out, it's all out of my hands, but at least I'm doing it right.

09/09/17 — At first I thought it was going to be another nothing day. Morning ritual was the same without any significant changes: breakfast, jogging it off. This time I drove south and took a run down the nature trails. I don't know them that well, but the videos about Forest Bathing got me thinking more about it. Then a drive back, and no, I didn't pick the place furthest away so that it would take me longer to get there and back and thus delay my resuming of homework. That's a silly thought and you shouldn't entertain such things. But when I got back home Aqua was there waiting for me and with a smirk put my homework and laptop in my hands gave me a kiss on the cheek and let me know she was going to kick my ass if I didn't stop acting like a baby. I love that woman. And that's where I was when the weather turned bad. We first heard the rain coming down on the patio door causing us both to look. I went outside to fetch the chairs and table so they wouldn't blow away. And a good thing too. We went back to look again when we heard the hail pinging off the windows. And watched out on the street as a trash can smashed into a car. Nothing about this on the weather forecasts at all. It was weird and I got that weird feeling like when Amanda used to use that look at me. Whole thing was over in about thirty minutes or so and then I was told I had to go back to work.

09/08/17 — Had a visit from the Doctor and the Fan when they arrived together. I thought maybe it was about the charity event, but as it happens they just wanted to stop by for a chat. For a chat. What a bad idea on my part. If it wasn't for Aqua they probably wouldn't have even been able to understand me considering how bad I am at charades. Or how good she is at lying. Strep throat, heh. I couldn't think of anything for 'girlfriend' and ended up calling her my wife. But when I think about it now, you know, it doesn't seem all that ridiculous. I'm sure it probably wouldn't be looked on all that favorably maybe, but we fit together really well and I don't think I'll ever be able to find someone better than her. I mean, I'm still young and all, but. It's not the most laughable thought I've ever had. Makes me smile, actually. When the Fan left she indicated she knew what was going on, which is more that I knew. I'll have to ask later. When I can ask without saying things I don't intend.

09/07/17 — Afternoon got me a call from the publishers. They set up a meeting for Monday to talk about the new book and I'm not sure how they liked it. I wasn't allowed to goof off much, with the cute taskmaster making sure I worked it, hard. I'm thinking with all the extra studying I'll pass without much trouble whenever I can get this over with. Still, nothing stopping me from volunteering to do the cooking and cleaning, if only as a way to stop studying, or taking a break from book research. It was suggested I could make something for the young; maybe a coloring book, or a book for kids with critters in it. I could bring that up on Monday.

09/06/17 — After the jog, breakfast, and a chase around the condo, I got down to some studying. Aqua wouldn't let me slack off anymore. So I sent what I had on the book to the publishers (after doing a hefty amount of changes and actual work), and then got down to cracking. Normally we take turns with the meals, but I volunteered to do them all. Because it was a delay tactic. I mean wasn't. Definitely. Went out for a bit of a ride, got feedback about the ideas. Had dinner at Club 67 and then walked it off around Lindo Lake. Then it was back home and more studying.

09/05/17 — In the morning I got up late. The neighbor was asleep on the sofa, the living room was dark and she was cuddling with that sword of hers. I figured I'd thank her later, rather than trying to wake her up and maybe get myself cut. Or dead. I went over to my place with a task I had to do right away. Aqua was awake and she helped me out, but didn't ask where I was so I think I luckily avoided a really bad, really awkward fight. You know, I wonder if I'd be nearly as forgiving if half the weirdness happened to her that happened to me. It is really refreshing dating someone … stable and normal. And with a seemingly inexhaustible capacity for my bull. Anyways, I was avoiding homework when the neighbor showed up, so I had that still waiting for me. And then some research on the new book, which really just seemed like me, on the laptop, watching YouTube videos rather than studying. I really need some discipline!

09/04/17 — Got up early and figured after my morning routine I'd ask, in a roundabout way, if Aqua will call in sick for me. She seems to get the vague idea about what I want, so I'll butter her up with some pastries first because I'm a loving and caring boyfriend that wants something. She saw through it right away, naturally. She makes me smile. But after an hour she agreed to help me out. That left me free to study for the final I should be taking. Or rather, the television I ended up watching. In the evening the Neighbor showed up, man talk about long time no see. And properly inflicted the way I was, I couldn't tell her what was going on, but she managed to get the handle of it when I guess she heard me say some silly things. She demanded that I stay at her place that night and wouldn't take no for an answer. I think she's just super protective of me, not that a guy that gets in so much weirdness like I do can't used the help. She's got a big bed, and smells nice. Left a message for Aqua in case she worries, but with my luck it'll say something risque. Next on the agenda, no talking to anyone about anything for any reason. At all. Ever. Good gravy.

09/03/17 — Busy doing the studying thing again, after another active morning. More studying and examining the comment fields of my uploads. I don't know why I do that, it always puts me in a funk, and I was a grumpy gus at Aqua. Or maybe it was because I couldn't effectively communicate with her. Though I'm getting better at Charades and pointing for things. Kinda said that I'm better at communicating again by not speaking. And, oh yeah, writing things down doesn't seem to work and I wrote something really offensive apparently. I don't even know how I'm going to get through my finals. Maybe I can get permission to delay, or a medical deferment for later. It wasn't until late that night that the more exciting thing happened; a bird flew through my window while I was locking up and talked to me. Maybe I'm not cursed. Maybe someone at the frat house spiked my water with LSD or something and I just THINK I'm going nuts. Anyways, the talking bird was a trip, and the only reason I know it was real is because it, she? left feathers behind.

09/02/17 — Woke up and went for a jog, then breakfast. I have a lot to plan out today so I have to get my head on straight. Sent a text to Possum and then put my books out on the coffee table again because finals is next week and I better get crunching; though I have to admit, this wasn't my favorite term. Though, going to school in the summer, whose would be? We spent some time at home while I was studying/not studying, just trying to fool around when I got word back and set up a time to meet him in a few. I didn't like not telling Aqua first but, have to make sure everything is on the up-and-up before I tell her. While I was there, something weird seemed to be happening, like they weren't really reacting to what I was saying, but sorta. It was weird. By the time I got everything cleared up and left I was pretty sure something hinky was going on. That feeling only got confirmed when I came back home and told Aqua the, well the news. I'm not really sure if it's good or bad news yet. She… surprised me and volunteered before I could even get around to asking her, in the round about way that I could communicate. She really is fantastic, I don't deserve her. That part all set up, and the home set up, the next thing I have to do is contact a lawyer and then do the scariest thing ever: tell Mom. But not until after I figure out what's going on; did Kitty jinx me again?

09/01/17 — Early day, started it with a jog on the beach. Then edited some of the video I took last night. I was finished a little before noon, so after lunch I took my beach wear and went across the street to the beach. I was pleasantly sunbathing, and swimming, when I got a visit by the Russian mafia. Well he said he wasn't with the Russian mafia, and turns out I actually knew of him and he's a lawyer. Kinda the same thing, right? Har, har. So. If I understand right, Shooting star's decided to give up our child. Which kinda surprised me, everything considered. And if I sign the papers and give up my parental rights, it'll be raised by her family. Something about that doesn't sit right with me and I've got, oh, eight months or so to decide. But if she doesn't want it, then-- then someone that's his or her parents should do the right thing. I'll have to talk to Aqua first, but Papa don't preach.

08/31/17 — Another day in, finally catching up on my homework. One of my subscribers told me about this thing I might like so I took a look at it. It’s a little embarrassing that the link came from my home town, mostly, Forest Bathing Club of San Francisco. I mean I get it. Really I do. Walking in the woods, hiking, yeah, sure. And call it what you want to call it, bathing, or just being in nature. Whatever gets people out there and enjoying their surroundings. So I have a couple of new videos to record and edit. Some of it recalls going out on location too. So that was a fun day.

08/30/17 — Another glorious, albeit foggy day. Had a bit of a jog which I had to take it easy because the last thing I wanted to do was get in front of a car when it wasn’t able to see me all that well. And i had just watched The Mist too, the night before, so I wasn’t creeped out in the slightest. Good breakfast, and a call from the Publicist. She’s back in the city of angels and wanted to let me know that things seemed like a go over with the network folks. Having that greenlit means there’s still other things that have to go on like figure out what kind of a show they want, write the pilot, scout locations. She went on and on, which was nice, that she seemed happy about it and I just nodded through it all. So, maybe someday next year or something I’ll be on television. Whatever for, I don’t know. Weird though. She reminded me that I was also supposed to be writing a book too, and with everything else going on I had totally forgotten. Later on I went to the mall to kill some time. The Fan snuck up behind me and scared me almost out of my skin. We went to Cinnabon to have a chat, and I finally figured out what her deal is: she’s just a harmless flirt. I’m seen a few episodes of My Strange Addiction, so I know loving cars is a thing and with her, she loves pans. That’s fine. Still, naming them and wearing lingerie… that’s sorta weird. To each their own. I guess it’ll take some … skillet to get to be with her. HA! Oh, I’m funny. I have to tell Aqua that one.

08/29/17 — Not much to write about here. Took some time to put up the new videos on the ‘Tube after I spent some time editing them. After classes yesterday and still catching up on homework I was a little busy, but I can get a lot done when I sit on the floor when Aqua takes up the whole sofa like a couch potato. No, it’s fine, I like the floor better. And it’s not as if we didn’t buy it together. If we break up, not that I’m looking forward to that, will she want to cut it in half? And if so, would she cut it down the middle or lengthwise? I feel like she’d cut down, because otherwise she’d get only all seat or all back. But then maybe she’d want me to have all back in the case of a break up so I couldn’t get comfortable. … why is she so mean to me in my imagination? She’s so harsh :) Anyhow, homework and not much else to write about. Her life seems better, she just loafs around all day, oh my god, like a cat. I have a pet! I pray she never reads this. Oh yeah, classes -- I’m still being called the Fairy Princess, so my trip and two and a bit weeks away hasn’t put distance between that event. Oh boy.

08/28/17 — I don’t know what possessed me. After hearing on Friday that the Ex and the Third Wheel weren’t together anymore, I kinda sat on the information for awhile. I guess I didn’t know what to do about it. But I sent her a text, the Third Wheel I mean. I guess I ought to think of a new name for her. Doctor Third Wheel. What’d I call her before? Ok, that was a nice stroll through memory lane. Said she’d wanted to make things right but didn’t because she was being greedy. I guess I’m just too trusting when I took her word for it that she’d at least try. But there’s nothing to try for anymore; I’ve moved on, just like they both wanted and if I think about it, I’m in a much better place now, with Aqua then I’d ever been. Sure the family might not agree, and one day they might even object. But until that happens I can have all kinds of fun with a normal girl in a normal relationship until the walls all come crashing down on me. Again. Or is that again again?

08/27/17 — Fleshed out some of my plans with the national park services on paper, and then started editing the first couple of videos. I’d have more of a presence online, I was told, if I could stick to a schedule rather then do it whenever the thought sorta struck me. But who wants their job to feel like a job? I started looking into Old Town and Sunset Cliffs because if I wanted to go to these places, and I did, then I sure couldn’t go to Muir. Not with Aqua, certainly. There was a little bit of a disagreement over how to get there. But in the end, she cared more about driving then THE ENVIRONMENT… I don’t know why I wrote that in caps, it’s not like she can hear me over the revving of the engine. Love the lady, love her toys, I guess. It's what Dad says.

08/26/17 — Spent most of the day with Aqua again. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. After I was gone for so long and even before then when it felt like the well had dried up, sort to speak, I’m glad things are going back to normal. Yay, normal. We hung out a lot doing gross things like cuddling and watching the Defenders between me catching up on my homework. If I were a smarter person I probably would have taken some of that work with me on my vacation and gotten it done then. But I’m not a smart man, I’m just a man (well, mostly). I also had to think about something to do with the YouTube stuff and it occurred to me that, since I’d been there and took some shots ‘on location’ as it were, that I could do a bit about the national parks there and here and how important they are.

08/25/17 — Today was more chores, little things like unpacking and seeing all what I had missed. Of course there was more getting acquainted with Aqua until we had to be pryed apart and come up for air. I had to go to school and catch up on anything, make that everything, that I’d missed out while I was gone. Some professors were cooler about that then others. Home at lunch, Aquaculture. No, to much? Yeah, probably. Then back to school for a little bit, then back home to start on the pile of homework and study for three make up tests. Later that evening, she let me go out and play with the Fan from the Beach. She wanted me to come over and I thought it was about the charity event, but… I guess we got our signals crossed a little bit. I stuck around because she’s great company to be around anyways, and then realized I was moving into dangerous water and I should rein myself back in before I did something dumb. Still, I hope she doesn’t think it was her, because it certainly wasn’t, and I had someone back home to get real romantic with: Art History, oooooh. Sexy.

08/24/17 — Home day, thank god, it’s home day. She tried to hide it under her makeup, I have experience with that sort of thing, and I could tell that my publicist had gotten hurt last night. But she didn’t mention it, so I didn’t bring it up. She did apologize though, for breaking up my date, so I had to settle her straight there: it most definitely wasn’t a date, which seems to have cheered her up. She said there were a few loose ends to tie up here so I was to go on alone, which suited me just fine. I put on a little something special for Aqua and I was dying to get it off. To sooner I got home, the better. Adjusting for the time zone I didn’t get home until two in the afternoon, and found my girl waiting for me. Aah, did I miss her. Cuddles, then snores. And so did I. I MISSED Prospect.

08/23/17 — Today when I woke up I realized, with glee, that I didn’t have to go to that stupid meeting anymore. But also, I didn’t have long left in New York. After a visit down to the gymnasium and back I got everything I needed for my drive and hike. First stop was to Bear Mountain State Park, mostly just because it was on the way to the other park I was going to. I took the Appalachian trail, not only because it seemed the most popular, but it went through the zoo but also took me to the peak. From up there I could see a bit of the Manhattan skyline, and though there were pay-binoculars, I just took it all in from where I was. Though I did have a sit on the wooden benches to rest up. I didn’t want to stick around for long, because the real prize was going to be the next park, but I guess I should have done my homework. The only parts of the Trump park that I could get to where in a real state of disuse and covered in graffiti. It really wasn’t much of a park at all when I got back home and did a little digging, I found out why and it was all just pretty much a shame anyways. Though I got to have lunch on the road, it was only about an hour and a half getting back but I was pretty exhausted. Had a nap until my alarm woke me up. Darn right I’m not going to miss a call to Aqua, and I’m glad I hadn’t. But when the call was over and I was still exhausted, I went back down for a longer nap. I heard a knock on my door, and judging by how dark it was outside my nap had turned into a sleep. To say I was surprised by who was at the door was putting it mildly, it was Autumn. I don’t know how she keeps finding me, but she pushed her way inside and after a bit of talking told me she wasn’t going to play games anymore. She said something about ‘of the green’, but by then I wasn’t paying attention. I guess I kinda lost it when her blouse came off, and I probably would have been in real trouble if someone hadn’t knocked on the door again and I’d answered it, despite Autumn’s reservations. The Publicist was there, wanting to help me get dressed for our last night out. The two women saw each other and I guess they took an instant disliking. They started shouting and name calling, they were both ignoring me when I tried to claim things down. There was some really harsh things said, but they were both still fighting so much they didn’t notice when I slipped out with my car keys. When I came back to my room after driving around for an hour and getting something to eat, they were both gone. It was the last time I saw Autumn, calling my publicist a skank. She has fire, I’ll give her that; I think I’ll miss her.

08/22/17 — Considering my last encounter with her, I decided to exercise in the hotel’s gym and then I met the Publicist. She swore there wouldn’t be much more talking over breakfast, which I was grateful. Looking over the nearby parks I choked on my OJ when I saw Trump had his own park. Now that, I had to see. But if I had a day of that meeting to go to, that probably wasn’t likely. I asked for a rental and got told one would be there in the afternoon, so we went to the last of the meetings. The executives seemed to have changed a little bit since the other night, which was kinda weird. But they still haven’t nailed down exactly why I was there, just something about visuals and marketability. Whenever I asked the Publicist she just told me to trust her, so that’s what I did. Handshakes around, I got my rental and plugged in Wildwood park, I needed to see some ocean. Wrong ocean, but ocean. About three and a bit hours later there I was. First place: the beach. I had to smile at the little unruly kids ignoring the collapsing bluff slope warning and climbing on everything. It reminded me of what I had at home and while I looked over the calm-ish water I had a bit of time to introspect. I missed that too. Spent a while there, pretending like I was alone and just thinking about life before the happy squeal of the same unattended children woke me from my reverie. Time for a hike, and check out the green of nature. Listening to my music, alone on the trail, or so I thought when along came Autumn. We agreed that it was an unbelievable coincidence, but she’d always wanted to come here, so we hiked together. I found she was really curious about the plants, hung on my word, and then later on me. She’s cute, and I was lonely, so I was probably throwing out signals I didn’t mean to. When we got back to parking, she’d parked next to me as it turns out, and said she’d just follow me back home, but somewhere along the way, I guess I lost her, or she had to stop for gas because when I got back, she wasn’t there. Weird. Either way, I was kinda glad, I didn’t have much time before the call from Aqua came in and that would have been awkward. This time she out did herself. Seriously, maybe I should just have a long distance relationship with her, if it wasn’t for the whole missing holding her and other things. I can not wait to get back home. Thursday cannot come fast enough.

08/21/17 — Finally, the day I've been waiting for. I woke up super early -- it wouldn't even be two am yet, back home. Now that I knew where the park was, I went for there and there was definitely a different set of people in the morning. The homeless seemed like they were filing out helped, more or less, by the police, while tourists like myself, were moving into the vacancies left behind. It made me feel a little sad that I was using someone's home for my exercise; but I don't know what I can do about it. I was lost in my own thoughts before I noticed I wasn't jogging alone. Somewhere along the way Autumn found me again and started jogging with me again, what a small world. We chatted for a bit, and I slowed down but I have a feeling that she was just being nice and she could have out ran me if she wanted to. Nearing the end of my run she wants hounding me to nail down another 'date', and she wouldn't take 'I have a girlfriend' for an answer. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, she is cute, so I made plans with her for Thursday. I made sure to get her number rather than the other way around because, well, I was living on Thursday morning. I know, I know. I'm a jerk. But I told her already that I was taken, as much as I could. Anyways, after my colossal jerky move, I got breakfast on the way back to the hotel, and got freshened up. When the Publicist knocked on the door, looking a little dismayed, we walked the short distance to the studio. I shook some hands and the executives, all three of them, spoke at length about what they wanted and my Publicist spoke about what she wanted. It was a total back and forth and the only part of it that I needed to be there for was learning their names (and I've already forgotten them), and finally discovering what they were thinking. I'm not exactly sure if the publishers will be up for it, or even if there's a conflict or something, but I trust my Publicist. She's good at what she does if I just get out of her way and let her do what she needs to do. Or at least that's what she tells me I ought to do. The meeting took a while. Long enough that we had to break for lunch, which we had a short car ride away. It was a nice place, looked really expensive. I spent a little time looking up state parks, maybe find one or two to take a hike at. After that there were more talking and by now I was kinda over it all, but I have to do what she tells me to do. It’s how I get along, how I’ve gotten this far. So I sit, smile and nod, just like she likes but she kept flashing me looks, I don’t think I was fooling her. After the meeting was over she pretty much told me that exact thing. Let go back to the hotel so she could talk more with the executives, or maybe just the one she was also looking at. I dunno. All I could think about was that it was getting pretty close to Skyping with Aqua time and I’d gotten to look forward to it. Wasted time watching TV until the tablet rang and then I was giddy like at Christmas. I can’t leave that woman alone and with access to my YouTube stuff. I just can’t, good god what a show.

08/20/17 — Sunday; I woke up especially early, or maybe traffic was pretty light. I decided to give running into Central park another shot. It was a different, and indifferent, doorman that showed me the vague direction of the park. I won't lie; I was expecting to get curious looks; I usually do back home. But here everybody walked around like weird was normal and if you look at it you've validated it. Don't look, don't get in its way and the weird running guy will go away. And they weren't wrong, I did, all the way to the park. Once there things were a little better, probably because I was with other tourists. Right up until a blonde sat down next to me and started up conversation like we'd been previously interrupted. I found out her name was... is Autumn. She thought it was weird she hadn't seen me there before, and wanted to know more about me, where I was from, was I married, what am I doing in the Big Apple. Really, she was a little pushy, but cute. But she was nice and accepted my excuse when I had to keep running, literally and figuratively. I managed to get back to the hotel without getting mugged, so there's that. Harder to mug a moving target, I guess. Got back and out of breath, cleaned up and had a nap. Woke up before lunch, starved and had missed a couple of calls. Since I don't pick up calls from numbers I don't know -- especially local numbers, I only called the Publicist back to be told we were going out and she'd be right there to help me towel off. I met her in the lobby and we went to eat nearby. Last minute conversation and strategy. Now all I had to do was look pretty and answer anything that was thrown at me. I guess I could handle that. At my room again, I gave Aqua a call again, wondering about the time difference. But she was ready for me, oh boy was she ready. I wish there was a way to record these sessions, but they'll be burned, forever, in my memory. She let me go for dinner and I went to Time's Square to check the place out and find a place to eat and look up places to see while I was there. I got two texts while eating. One was the Publicist, telling me to get ready to go out again, the other was more cryptic, from an unlisted number asking if I was going to be in the park again tomorrow. Weirdness. I got home and let the Publicist know I wasn't in the mood to go out, but she knew I wanted to see Chicago, so I was surprised when we got out of the taxi and the marquee read Kinky Boots. I suppose it was alright, but the bait and switch wasn't fine. Went to bed a little miffed, but still plenty of time in New York to see other shows.

08/19/17 — In the morning I got into my jogging suit and asked the doorman where I could go to get a run in. He looked at me like I was crazy, and then told me that central park was 15 blocks north, or the pier was about the same distance west. But, then he looked me over and suggested that if I didn't want to get mugged, maybe I should do it in the gymnasium. The traffic was pretty bad already, so I thought he was right, and I went back into the hotel and used the gym. I had my fair share of getting mugged and beaten when at home. A little while later the Publicist called, wanted to know where I was, since I wasn't in my room. We met up there and talked strategy about the upcoming meeting while I showered and got dressed; she wouldn't leave me alone for even a minute. But we spent a few hours together hashing out the details until lunch. We walked to Times Square, and had lunch there. Then, after we got back I was left to my own devices. I gave Aqua a call and we talked for a bit before something weird happened. I mean I missed her and all, but I didn't know you could do that on Skype. Anyways, she had to go, and I was left to watch a bit of TV until the Publicist called my room and told me to look nice. She came by later, and what I thought would be more strategy turned out to be going out on a date. We had dinner, then saw Cats, then there was a club that I don't remember the name of. She swears she saw Paris Hilton there, but I didn't see anybody famous. It was super late when we got back and I went straight to bed, even though she wanted to come in. Something about her dress needed to be loosened; I dunno. Either way, New York smells and it's LOUD.

08/18/17 — Woke up early this morning and told Aqua that I was leaving. And then: magic. I was almost late. I should leave town more often. It was magical. It was about time. She helped me get ready since the shuttle was waiting. Took the tablet; don't know how much time I'll get to write, but I can keep practice going. I made the flight, just barely, and there was a car waiting for me, took me to The Gotham (I'm Batman, bit--!) Gave Aqua a text to let her know I'd made it, but between the 3 hour difference, the over 6 hour flight time, half hour drive to the hotel, and check in, all sum up to it being super late back home. I hope she's ok. More tomorrow?

08/17/17 — Spent the day with Aqua again. You'd think I would have found time to tell her I was leaving in the morning. But, no. I think it was because by now she should have known and I'm an idiot and didn't tell her. So now I feel bad. But I'll feel worse if I just ... leave and she doesn't know where I am. So, yeah. I have to do that real soon now. After she went down to sleep, I went to the neighbor's. Had to tell her ... everything. But she wasn't home. And I got an /eye-full/ when I checked her place of business. Nudity sure has a way of breaking the ice. Neighbor's significant other, chin-beard, was entertaining someone I refused to look anywhere lower than the nose. Vagely aware she was female, but that's it. I ran out of there (after a peek of the peacock).

08/16/17 — Today was pretty normal; I woke up a little late so there wasn't any time to go jogging first. I ran (ha!) to school and spent the day there. Seems my exploits at the party have garnered me a little fame around the quad where I was trying to study, but I'm sure that'll pass with time. Went home for lunch, then recorded a few new videos. I made a couple of videos about booze (ethanol, nerd) and set them to go off a little around while I'm not here. I tweeted too that I'll be in New York, a little late notice, and maybe later on I'll give a time and a place and if I have any New York fans, maybe I can meet them. Wouldn't that be nice? Anywhozil, spent the rest of the day just bumming around with Aqua, which was nice and all but, ... I'd rather be doing other things then just kicking back watching season 2 of Mr. Robot. Computer, snore, this. Computer, SNORE, that. She went to bed, still no love for me, and I stayed up to burn off some energy. Later, the neighbor came by and there she was, on my counter. Should I? No I shouldn't. I got what I had coming to me when she took a slice out of me, but better to leave frustrated again then to make another mistake. Ugh! GIRLS! Why are you so irresistible?!

08/15/17 — For the most part today was a day for home. I even stayed inside to exercise. Just me and my lady, living like royalty. She's learning to take the cuddles, and I think I'm learning when she's in the mood. Which is kinda crazy 'cuz that's new. You know, I don't even remember the last time we were... god, it's almost been a week. No wonder why I, ugh. Well, whatever. Went to school to drop my other class persistent to my promise. God, she looked so fragile when she asked me to, how couldn't I agree. She's always so tough, and mean. That was a new, vulnerable side to her. Made me want to take her and protect her like the neanderthal I am. Ugh, Dusk smash.

08/14/17 — She's strong. Stronger than I am. That night when I received the 'Dear Dusk' letter, she was there. She watched me panic, but held her crazy together. She wasn't in any kind of mood, but we went to bed, and just talked for a bit. She was tired, I was tired but wired. Sleep was pretty much instant after we stopped talking. In the morning it was my turn for breakfast and I was feeling extra generous so she got it in bed. We hung out until noon, I think that's what I need, someone stable like her. I went out for a late Sunday jog, remembered that I'll have to drop guitar. Maybe I'll pick it up next semester. Then I had some work to do that I've been ignoring for awhile. It was late when I poked my head out of the guest room. The mess from last night was still on the floor, and I got bummed when cleaning it up. So I went out for dinner, brought down some other people too. I came home after midnight again, but at least this time it wasn't with rice wine on my breath.

08/13/17 — Weekend is a good day for a drive. The weather forecast had it overcast, so the beach was out. After a jog and shower I took a drive up the I-5 for a bit and then back. It gave me a bit to think, what I wanted to do with my life, where it was going and how I was going to get everything settled. I ended up at Roasters, like the Lost do. After a drink and a losing a few games to Inky and Blinky when they killed a certain plucky, jaundiced young woman over and over.
After I lost the last game of Ms. Pac-Man, I went home and passed by the neighbor's door which was open. The lady's got skills. I didn't drink a lot, but I drank too much and stayed longer than I should have, I think. I hobbled home to shoot for the moon but stumbled into two pieces of mail. The first was my test results from the hospital. Seems I have Syphilis. Shocking, right? Yeah, it would be if it were true -– no, I'm fine. So that's a relief. Or at least it would have been if not for the next. Shooting star left me a note. It's another kiss off. I'm not good for her. We're just friends. She'll let me know when it's born. I tried to call, I tried to text, but I was blocked. And just like that, I'll never hold my little Dawn in my hands.

08/12/17 — Ooookay. Maybe it was my fault. I woke up early, the sun digging his claws into my brain with painful throbs. When I ran my hand through my hair and moved I discovered two things. Well, a couple things, really. Firstly, I was sleeping on a flattened cardboard box on the asphalt next to the dumpster behind an El Pollo Loco. The other thing I discovered was a cheap plastic tiara dangling from my messy hair. That was unusual, so I took closer stock. I was wearing a tight pink leotard-slash-tu-tu and I had on old brown army combat boots.
I swear, this is the last time I drink. … I don't even remember drinking. I don't remember anything. At least I still had Aqua's bracelet. Since I didn't know where I was, I took that off when I got up, and put it in my new found cleavage, and to my dismay, while I walked around to look at my surroundings, it wiggled it's way down. Like, all the way down. At least I won't lose it.
With my tiara, which I left, I had a fairy wand and a wallet with some woman's identification inside. Since she had her student identification inside for UCP, I figured maybe she had my clothes, or something. All I had to do was call, oh yeah, my phone. Ffuuuuuuuuu...dge. So the next couple of hours were spent wandering around, asking if I could borrow a cell phone. It took a long time, like a really long time before a pair of old Asian women showed me why people were looking at me horrific or humorously. In addition to my costume, the Frat brothers gave me an undercoat of permenate market etchings. Nothing I would want on my face ever again, including the profanity across my forehead. Over that I had … the worst of make up job in the history of make up. Like pancaked on and colors not found in nature.
It was about two hours of asking strangers to use their phone before one finally let me. He only nodded understandably when I told him which fraternity. Kiki was there not soon after, thank god for Aqua. I was in Oceanside, damn. It was a long drive home, and even longer clean up. I took some pills, better living through chemistry, hooray, and went to see Clarice McMasters, the owner of the wallet. Sure enough, she had my stuff. She's Scott's GF, and was glad I had her wallet, but bummed the tiara went missing because it looked cute on me. She kept shifting the conversation when I asked if there were pictures, so that means... there are pictures. Dang. I was around campus, getting laughed at, that was fun, trying to do damage control.
The rest of the day was a blur. Helped the neighbor with her moving, took a nap, dinner and then attended the opening of her place since she asked me to go. Ran into a good old friend, and two more. That was fun. Even the morning.

08/11/17 — Morning woke me up early and sore. After a shower to loosen up, I took a run on the beach and then it was off to school; summer school. Fun. I had lunch at the quad and cut my thumb under the nail bed on the packaging. For a second I thought my bad luck was back, but nothing else bad happened so, maybe it was just normal bad luck, and not the super, cape-wearing kind. Sheldon, from Alpha Epsilon Pi found me there. He said he had a good time at the Club the other day and the guys were going to have another party. Of course, I was the 'Maid of Honor' (big chuckle; painful slap on the back) so I was going to have to go with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. I think the guys like just having someone that's wealthy enough not to have to worry about it, but they don't impose all that much, and I do have fun. So I went with and helped the other guys and the DJ set up. Scott had a Twinkie eating competition area to one side. His Dad works for Hostess so he was able to get a bunch and he's acting as the ref. I'm going to go on a booze run, before more guests arrive, more later.

08/10/17 — Shooting starr came over today. We painted toe nails (hers not mine), and had other activities planned, but she decided that it was better that she go. We really ought not be left alone. Artemis had his heel. Superman had his kryptonite. Even I, somehow, have a vulnerability. Since she left, I played a bit of Little Big Planet 3 myself, and had some tea. I guess I just lost track of time listening to Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, it was all to soon that it was really late and I fell asleep on the couch Aqua and I bought together, listening the the ocean from the open patio door.

08/09/17 — Me day! Well, mostly. Did some running, and grabbed some breakfast to go because I'm sure I stank the place up. Then off to school, more catching up to do, always fun. Caught up with one of my class mates after class, and got some notes that I missed. Then she gave me some pointers about my concealer, I guess I could have done a better job. That led to an awkward conversation after, and equally awkward departure. Then it occurred to me that I hadn't seen Aqua since Roaster's. And it's been about the same amount of time as the last girlfriend would just up and disappear for. Since my, ... mishap, she'd been sticking pretty close, so. That's weird. If I don't hear from her at the end of the day, maybe I'll send the cops over to check if she's still alive. Talked with shooting star a bit, that was fun. A couple of guys from Alpha Epsilon Pi saw me studying and called me a nerd for awhile, and made me go with them and their guys to Club 215. And since I wasn't in the fraternity, the first round was on me. I left then a couple of hours after that and went to WaffleMania since it was super late and I hadn't eaten yet. Then, collapsed to sleep when I got home with something nagging me like I'd forgotten something.

08/08/17 — Today was pretty nice; had a jog with shooting star where we had some real productive talk. About relationships and what we expect and all sorts of things like that. She had nice things to say about Kitten, which was nice to hear, although one thing she said in particular was pretty difficult. It might be a little bump in the road and bares investigating. We said our goodbyes and I went to do some more boring research and then to school. I had a test and some assignments to turn in since my days of ill fortune. I ate there at the quad, but stopped by for a second to pick up a bite at Smoke and Barley until I got news from the neighbor that she might be moving and asked if I could bring the tea cup I still had over to her new place of business. I kinda wished I'd looked the place up first. It kinda looks seedy, but I forgot all that when I was shown into the back where they had a LOVELY vivarium. Among the cherry trees I saw all manner of fauna, but freaked out over seeing what looked like white peacocks, maybe albino. Man. That was a place I could go back to. Tried not to look at naked or nearly naked girls, since I'm still attached and all, and the neighbor took me aside. She was serious, I was awkward, so goofy. I had to apologize a little, but let her kiss my cheek and make up. Unfortunate that she feels like she has to move, but, it is what it is, and I helped to move.

08/07/17 — The day was sort of a wash until the evening; jog, breakfast and lunch. A little bit of research on the new book. I'm really rather glad that they have people that do this sort of thing for me, correct my research and facts so I don't look like an ass when it gets printed. No sign of the Aqua by the evening, so when shooting star asked me over for dinner and dessert I thought 'Why not?' Dinner was great! We talked for hours, and she cooks a mean chicken parmesan. We slow danced, and I held her close but we skipped dessert since it was getting late, never had a lemon pound cake before. All in all, nice night.

08/06/17 — Woke up like usual, and took a brisk jog. I didn't trip, and didn't get hit by a car. When I got home Aqua let me know, in a delightful way, that she was going to get some coffee. Shooting star wanted to take a trip to Campus, so I met her there. We registered for classes a long with a host of other people. Then went to Roasters for a little celebration. Not only was our drink comped but a nice guy, but I saw Aqua there! We had a great conversation, she showed interest in our classes, offered to make instruments, Shooting star was laughing. It was great, but when I came back from the bathroom, Aqua was gone, so that was a bummer. She texted she had some work to do, and I can't have a guitar that spits out fireballs because of state laws. Stupid California. So shooting star and I hung for a bit, then we got antagonized by Foodie. She upset Shooting star, and kept with the finger-gun thing which is weird, so I walked Shooting star home. Then I went home, had an early dinner. Not a single bad thing happened with my day, klutz-wise, but I did discover that the videos I'd put up yesterday hadn't made it. So I had to re-upload them. But technically that was a goof from yesterday, I only discovered it today. Not so bad a day!

08/05/17 — Another fantastic day, he wrote sarcastically. The oven's temperature was more sensitive then usual, I guess because I burnt my breakfast, and nearly the whole kitchen. I woke Aqua (Aqua, Aqua, Aqua, not Purple) with the smoke alarm and she glared at me while opening up windows to let the place air out, like it was my fault. Took a jog to get some breakfast for her, score some brownie points, and had to do it three times, once because I tripped and wore it and the other time because a car nearly ran me down. I stayed inside after that, and had delivery. I thought it was a good time to get some work done, but between the internet not working (and only for me), and my work not saving before the computer crashed, I didn't get anything really done. I did get a call from the publishers to remind me about my meeting, and the phone service cut out because they thought I hadn't paid my bill. After that problem, my chair broke sending me tumbling. My card was declined when dinner showed up, so I paid by cash, which took the delivery person's tip, so there's another person that hates me. I'll call, if I can, in the morning about the card. At least the TV was fine, and there was only a few bumps and bruises and no blood. Please let this end.

08/04/17 — Thursday was a fun day. I got an electric shock when the toaster ate my bagel and I tried to fish it out. Weird thing is, I'd been smart enough to unplug it, so it was probably just static electricity. After that, I guess it wasn't ebbing. I tired once more time to get to class and this time I was able to find my way, after a bruiser pushed me into UCP's grass because I was 'looking at his girl'. Fortunately she corrected him, right after I got a gut punch, so there's a relief. The art history professor didn't buy my excuse for missing class until I found someone's dropped pencil by stepping on it. I didn't fall, fortunately, then, but the mechanical pencil on the next step sent me down. I think I loosened a tooth. Not only did I get excused, but I was told I'm carrying some 'bad juju', whatever that means. On the way back home, there was a liquor store robbery that went bad. There was a bit of a shoot out when the robber tried to get away and I was nearly hit by a stray round. Instead I got debris in my eye, and they made me go to the hospital to get checked over. So that was fun.

08/03/17 — Took to jogging in the morning. Before I left the house, time for a little concealer on the old shiner. Unfortunately it's something I've done many times before, but still, Musta poked myself in the eye about a billion times. I couldn't find my normal running shoes, so I wore a different pair of footwear. I didn't get far when I felt the first blister surely coming on. When I got home, sure enough, blister city. And I'd forgotten to take my keys with me so I had to get the super to let me in, then limp to the bathroom to take care of myself. Shooting star texted, and we met at Roasters. With my luck lately, I took a taxi and left my phone; good enough I did too. Our conversation had just started and my first sip had me knocking my tea all over my lap, but star gave me a really nice hand. Went to the washroom to clean up, and the plumping came loose. Like I said, I was glad I left the phone at home, because trying to turn the faucet off got me drenched. I was given a ride home though, so that was nice. Quickly got clean, as tempting as it would have been to methodical, she had other plans. We took her ride, and visited friends, hopefully friends, and saw the new baby. Talked about some other plans that I had been thinking about but especially now, it especially means something more. I just want to see the best, for her, for the future. Anyways, I only had a few mishaps, so there's that. Maybe it's ebbing. Hope springs eternal.

08/02/17 — Missed purple when she woke up and left earlier than usual. I'm guessing to get my phone fixed, bless her ever loving heart. I switched my cold press for one that was actually cold and then got ready to go to class. Today was more torture; couldn't find my toothbrush, so I used purple's, my favorite mug got a crack in it when I dropped it, and then I couldn't find my shoes. Elevator wouldn't come up to my floor, so I had to walk down the stairs. Trying to get to school was mission impossible. I've been there a hundred times, but I couldn't find the class room. My eye got some attention, so I just went home. Eventually, I got a flat tire on the way there, so that was fun. After that morning I decided on a nap and woke up to what sounded like the police pounding on my door. After a quick flush, I answered it: it was shooting star who gave me some... really, really good news. Now just how to give it to purple. There was a meeting too, that I wanted to go to later in the evening. With all my bad luck lately, I figured it'd be best I leave early after shooting star left. Good thing I did, too. Ran out of gas, twice. I don't know how that happened. And with no phone, I had to wait for one nice people, and highway patrol to come by. The officer gave me a ticket for parking on the side of the freeway. Nice guy. I got there and got a ride back. Purple was home by then. At least I had my phone... right until I dropped it in the can. So now I'm just letting it soak in a baggie of rice, and I'm going to bed early. Ugh.

08/01/17 — Stay up late, wake up late; that's my motto. I got up eventually, and went for a run since purple wasn't there when I woke up. When I came back home I just grabbed a handful of carrots and stand down to edit some videos until there was a knock on the door. It was who I thought it would be. I mean, eventually. Since I'm a terrible liar, I came out with the truth. I got what I thought I was going to get. And a little bit more, ... it was weird, and brought back a little bit of the feelings the first girlfriend gave me before I had to leave. To make matters worse, I slipped on my phone and broke the screen so now I have to get that replaced. And I tweaked something in my back when I did that. So I laid down on the couch with some bags of ice. Until the batteries in the remote ran out and I couldn't find any more in the whole condo, so now the TV's stuck on the TV listings station. That repeats. Every five. Minutes. End it now. Somehow I was able to go to sleep and woke up with Purple coming home. She wanted to know how I got the shiner, and managed to guess. Not that there's a long line of people looking to pop me in the face. ... that I know of. Anyways, I handed over my broke phone after nearly choking to death on the sim card, so I can get the screen repaired. We decided on not having me cook, anything with a knife or open flame was out.

07/31/17 — Sunday found breakfast in bed for my darlin', then I let her get back to sleep. Must be rough to have all that money and not enough pits to drop it into and then roll around in it. I had a bit of a jog and stopped on the park bench for a conversation via the phone. I was a little nervous after that, went back home and hung out there for awhile, working on my projects, quietly in the guest room with the headphones on. After a while I had to get out of there, so I went over to Roasters, got a table and sat down to veg-out.

07/30/17 — So, Saturday. Took a run down the beach, to get some sun. Met a couple of surfers just getting ready to leave for the day. Seems like a neat activity to get into, and I'll have to get into it later. I realized I still haven't told purple about my up coming trip, so I stopped for some bagels and coffee. I know, I know, carb-tastic, but every now and then it's ok. When I got home, she wasn't there so I had the bagels myself, that'll teach her. And I realized just how much I missed bread. Nothing from shooting star, so I'll give her a ring if I don't hear from her tomorrow. Sat my butt in front of the computer and did some work, for once. Before I knew it it was super late. I had a late lunch/early dinner and then changed into my jammies. I didn't feel like going out, and purple had been watching some old episodes of Archer on Netflix, so I had to catch up. I started a binge, then switched to cartoons. That's when the neighbor stopped by. If I thought she was aggressive yesterday, she was damn right scary today. ... it wasn't good, but she broke down and told me why, well, hinted at it. Poor lady, it'd been such a long time for her, she just had to scrape the bottom of the barrel. We had a talk, hugged it out. I think she'll be ok. After she left, the girlfriend came home. She'd been drinking apparently, and seemed like her joyous, loving self. We greeted each other in that special way we do, and then there was a night spent inside. Though I couldn't help but feel like there was something going on with her, it was like the time at WaffleMania where she did, but after, she didn't.

07/29/17 — Went to the clinic today. Just to make sure. Was shown the way by EMT. Turns out she knows the purple. Small world, right? And she told me some personal information too. Weird thing to tell a stranger. She was right though, I should have called ahead for an appointment. I'm pretty sure I was recognized. I have to wait a week for the results, but I'm pretty sure I'm fine. It's more a piece of mind thing. Went back home, had a heavy work out. Purple and I still making up, I hoped everything would turn out fine. Stayed at home with her, right until midnight or so, then I got a knock on the door. Was the neighbor. She returned more coconut oil because the first one she left to replace what she borrowed wasn't enough, she said. I'm sure it is, though, but I appreciate the gesture. I asked her to stay for tea and that's when things got... steamy. I nearly got molested in the kitchen, with purple only in the bedroom. Wow, what's going on? Is it just springtime mating season pheromones in the air or something?

07/28/17 — Morning ritual went well, and then I got some work done with my YouTube videos, bros. Just as I was recording, I got a call from Never-Returns-My-Phone-Calls Publishers. Seems there's someone in New York they want me to meet and I leave in a couple of weeks. After everything that's happened, and then I have to just leave for a week. Dang. So then on top of everything else I had to make some videos about leaving and when the posts would resume. Then I spent a while editing, talking with shooting star. Then there was art history class; let the good times roll. The brothers at AEP caught up with me; told me there'd be a sick party tonight and wanted me to be there. I gave a non-committal answer, Jeff told me as an aside that if I asked, they might consider letting me into the fraternity and I told him I'd think about it. I was bummed, they were bummed, but I told them that next time I'd be there. I don't remember being this popular in a cliche the first time. I went home. Seemed lately like I've been dreading it. When I got home though, I got the best news ever. Quartz-eyes and I are still together. We apologized, I think all night long. Someone's earned herself breakfast in bed.

07/27/17 — Spoke with shooting star for a bit, over the phone, before school. Don't know what we're going to do but everything seems to be going for the best. She's told someone about us, which means it might just be a matter of time before who knows who else knows.<br\>Who who. Who who.<br\>Then there was school where I kind of moped and dragged my feet. A couple nice girls from class asked me what was up, we hung out for a bit and talked about everything other than my problem. Later, because the neighbor was nice, I got myself in a good mood and sent her some funny. She wanted to come over but that wasn't a good idea. I hope she's ok, I'm just a jerk.

07/26/17 — Got up and tried to get on with a normal life. Shooting star had left me a text. I replied, but, didn't get anything back for awhile. Then there was a short conversation, followed by an offer of coffee later in the week. Can't be that bad an idea. Keep it in public. I thought about texting the neighbor, but I just wasn't up to it yet. Went to the BBQ joint and found it was still open. Met some new people and got a good laugh. It was exactly what I'd needed just then.

07/25/17 — Lazy day today. Got up, jogged, tried to pretend like today was just a normal day. I found a present outside my door, that was a smile giver. I thought it was best to take a really long jog today. Went back home and everything feels... different. Like I broke it and I don't know how to fix it. I met shooting star at Off the Record and, I wish I could say I could turn it off. But I just can't. Then got some troubling news. She and I had to go back to the scene of the crime to look for her jewelry. We didn't find it though. We didn't a lot of things.

07/24/17 — Shooting star came over with some baked goods. The three of us had a nice moment talking, until the two of them started picking on me, and I sprayed my tea over the room. Not fair. After that, shooting star proposed a drive, since mine was already here, we didn't have to go back to hers to get her bike. We took off down the highway, about a half hour down found a really nice place with a great view. I took it all in, and so did she. Lost track of time, had a shower and then dropped her off at home. It was ... worth the wait. Then I got home and it all came real. Seeing her, watching her goofy show, so innocent. I'm horrible, and I just couldn't keep it from her. We talked it out, we yelled it out, and then we cried it out. And slept in the guest room. I don't know how I got here. Well, no, I know exactly how I got here. I'm a bad boyfriend.

07/23/17 — Not much going on today. Traveled the city, taking my new ride for a joy-ride now that I'm legal and all. Hit a couple of spots, but there wasn't anything really going on. Had a little free time so I spent it fixing up some more Youtube videos. Sometimes I feel like I just ought to disable the comments. But, you know, develop a thick skin. It's the internet, people talk trash there.

07/22/17 — Well today was a really productive day. Started with a 2 am wake up call from the neighbor. There are worse ways to wake up, I suppose. She needed to borrow something, and it's only fair, since she gave me so much sugar. Add coconut oil to the grocery list and hopefully replace it before the GF notices that it's missing. Returned back to bed, got up. My jog, then went over to Roasters for breakfast. Had the Ruben, and then had a nice girl with the social skills of a robot infer I'm a sociopath 'cuz I read and listen to music at Roasters. I think we had a bit of banter back and forth. And I say thing, 'cuz I think her Alien overlords hadn't downloaded human interactions into her neural network. Boop beep boop boop. I finished my breakfast and went to the stacks to study, then class. After that, I did some heavy lifting and went to the beach by my place. I met a fan, she was a ten, who hit me up for a charity event. Why not, right? And it's for a good reason. After I baked the back, I flipped over on the grill and baked the front. Then I went home. Purple changed her hair. Do I call her aquamarine now? Mehhh. I'm not sure how I feel about the new hair, but she likes it, and that's all that matters. I surprised her by planning an event for our second monthiversary, and we celebrated well. Very well. Then, later in the evening I met the neighbor coming home from somewhere. She looked, ... she looked bad, so I tried my best to help her out as well as I could. What are neighbors for, right? When her boyfriend showed up, I made myself scarce, I'm sure they'd want to be left alone. What a busy day. I'm glad I went to bed early.

07/21/17 — Sometimes life takes you in a weird sorta way. As I was leaving my condo, I saw the neighbor's door had been left open. I thought she was getting robbed but the only thing getting stolen was my dignity. In the end, I think I managed to salvage the situation, and met someone new -- she's too much! Rather than go out, I went back home since I'd been drinking, and wanted to make sure purple got everything she had coming to her. And she did. And she did.

07/20/17 — Purple woke me up in some of the nicest ways, and while she slept, I took some cake over to sugar in the evening and we chatted for a bit. Kinda awkward talking with an attractive woman while she's wearing next to nothing. Later I was hanging out at For The Record where I think I saw some guy getting really ticked off at the help. Some people just totally lose their cool if you don't make their 'Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte With Soy Milk' right.

07/19/17 — Woke up in the morning, to the bedroom door closing. Only thing is, not my bedroom. I guess I had to much, and slept it off upstairs. At least I had all my clothes on, so nothing happened. I think. Found my toy parked somewhere I don't remember leaving it, and drove home. Not worried about getting pulled over, now that I'm legal, but I'd probably blow a sobriety test. When I got home purple still wasn't there. I ate, then crashed.

07/18/17 — Normal day routine; yawn. Nothing at all out of the ordinary happened at all. Afternoon was art history class. I met the guys from Alpha Epsilon Pi again. They knew of a party to go to later, and since I had nothing better to do, figured I'd go. Studied a bit, early dinner and change of clothes. Purple wasn't anywhere, sometimes she does that, otherwise I would've taken her with. Dancing, drinking the night away.

07/17/17 — Woke up, gave a kiss, slipped out of bed. Breakfast, then morning jogging down to the beach and back. Early morning, part deux of the motorcycle safety program. Snuck away from Margie at lunch to go back home and wake up the GF. Had lunch, and desert, but got back a little late. Luckily it was the driving proficiency portion, and the instructor wasn't all that much of a hard butt about my tardiness. Let me stay a little late a go over the material which let me avoid Margie. The instructor was friendly, like, really friendly, but I was able to get out of there intact. Back home, dinner, then hung out at Off The Record for a bit. Well, late. Then I crept back home and spent some quality time with the main squeeze.

07/16/17 — Morning jog, then breakfast. Part one of the full day motorcycle class. Yawn city. Met some nice people though; Jack, and his wife Mary, going to use theirs to see America. Take the side roads, stay off the grid and do all the things they used to do when they were young... whatever that means. Margie's not shy, she came with me to lunch, told me all about what's going on with her and her husband Larry. Well, her husband for now, I guess she caught him cheating on her and she's decided to do something wild. When I got home I thought I would bake a cake, Mary had been talking about it. I got started, but I had to get some sugar from the neighbor. She was in a hurry, but let me have it, nice lady. Even invited me to her special club, and if I wasn't baking, I woulda gone. Maybe I'll bring someone special. After that, the doctor made a house call. Just like old times. And not like old times.

07/15/17 — I've been thinking about it for awhile. So after my morning jog, and breakfast, I hung out at Roasters. From there I put up a Craig's list ad. Only one nibble so far and it's from the photographer, which is a little on the nose. I'm hesitant, and I hope someone else makes makes an offer. He seems nice, he means well, but he kinda gives me the creeps. Like the way some women look at me. Hungry?

07/14/17 — Shooting star called me over in the morning. She wanted someone strong, but all I have to offer was moral support. Dry wall work isn't in my wheel house of knowledge, but I watched and held the ladder. And best of all, I brought some iced coffee. We had a good talk, it was nice, actually like back in the day nice. Without any of the awkwardness that's been in our conversations. ... that is, until she wanted to meet my folks. I don't know how Mom would take it. I mean, no, I know how they'd take it. They'd think I was a player, and I'd probably get congratulated for it, but that's just not me. If I'm going to make them proud of me for something, it should be something real.

07/13/17 — Took my new toy out for a ride around the city. I got a few looks. Not because I'm super cool; mmm, not JUST because I'm super cool but also because I was driving like a little old lady. Still haven't gotten the program, so if I get pulled over and checked I'd be in some serious trouble. But it's just like Dad says: it's only a crime if you get caught. I turned real slow, drove carefully, but took a ride over downtown and I was fine. I hung out at the skate park for a bit, watched some tricks, and then back home.

07/13/17 — Stupid slow day. One of those that just would never end. Had a run like I usually do, breakfast. Then a bit of a study, but purple wouldn't let me, that adorable girl. Later that night there was a mania of waffles to refuel.

07/12/17 — I took a picture of my new toy, and put it up online. Apparently it caused some triggers to go off among some of my subscribers. But it's definitely better than driving my van around. They'll have to convince of me of that. Not sure purple likes my smell, doesn't hate it, just don't LIKE it. But we kissed and made up. Maybe something that smells like death...

07/11/17 — Not much going on today. Freshmen studies, why even? I went out and got more cologne, bought more food since I have a sexy purple beast that does her best to burn all calories everywhere. We both ate and then, best day ever, I took delivery of my new toy. Now I just need the outfit to go with it.

07/10/17 — I got a few names of people that can help me learn the basics on how to ride from Kitten. That was nice of her. I gave a few a call until I found one that was willing to teach me and earn a bit on the side, and then I signed up for the motorcycle safety program. 15 hours? Oh my god, who has time for that? Well I guess I do, if I want to ride. Bleh, down with unnecessary governmental oversight. :)

07/09/17 — Dear diary,<br\>Uh. Wow. Just, ... wow.<br\>One thing about dating someone with more experience than you is that everyday you learn something knew. Not just about them, but about yourself as well. I don't think I'm ever going to forget that look in her eye, or how she acted. It scared me, a little, but... wow. After a nap and hydration I had to take care of some school work, and then did a little research on the computer.

07/08/17 — Had a bit of a jog today, and then texted the GF to see what she was doing. She's going to come over later, so I looked up some recipes online, something to make for her, you know, show her how much I appreciate her. I was looking through the window of the Meat Market, which I know what I'm thinking, no, it isn't a gay bar. While I was there, I saw shooting star. We talked for a little bit, and she told me she was picking up some things to cook for kitten. After that it kinda seemed like the conversation went into a circle, mentioning the same things again. I want to move on with her, but I can't seem able, and I don't know why.

07/06/17 — School day -- but before that, I jotted down some ideas about the next book. Since it's to soon to see how the book is going to do. Also, relationship books like that are like one hits. Unless, I guess, you learn more about relationships? I dunno, but I think that's the only one for me. Or at least I hope so. Hit the stacks to get a book. Good day all around.

07/05/17 — Comfy day in with my better half, but then I remembered to pass along a message from the photographer guy. I guess my little emo muffin did some work for him and he wanted me to thank her by passing along a kiss, and, well, I guess one kiss became many. She's pretty thanked, I think. Gunna steal purple's book later, and do some videos about that, everybody like hydroponics.

07/04/17 — Happy Indie Day, Merika!
We spent the beginning of the day together. Just when did I start referring to purple and I as we? Breakfast in bed, gross snuggles. I learned something new about her. She stepped out for a little bit, and I went to have a chat with kitten about bikes. Cruiser or Roadster, she says, so now I can start looking. Left her with the certificates I'd picked up the day before as a way of saying thanks, and tried my first whiskey. Is there really such a thing as a 'good burn'? Took a short detour to Roasters. There are a lot of beautiful people in this city, not surprising, really, considering how close we are to LA, but still. I saw fish in front of me in line; that's a sad story. Do you smile and wave and bother her, or don't bother her and seem like you're shunning her? Tough call, but luckily all I had to wait for was boiled water.

07/02/17 — Before breakfast I took my textbook for a walk. First day of class is tomorrow, not that I expect many people will show. While at Off The Record, I saw shooting star. We had a really nice chat, and I tried to get her advice, but she pushed me on to kitten, so I'll have to ask her about which motorcycle would be best. Rest of the day was spent Netflix'ing and chillin'.

07/01/17 — For lunch we went to Smoke and Barley, I had the same thing I did the last time I was there and gave her the spare key to my apartment. When we got home, she went to read about hydroponics, and not at ALL because I'm brushing off on her, but don't tell her that. I made another gesture; and moved my stuff out of the top drawer. The gesture was deeply, and thoroughly appreciated.

06/30/17 — Didn't do much today. Made breakfast for two, and while she went back to hers to keep up with things on her end, I went for a jog. A little elaborte, I took the nature trails up to the top. Sat on the picnic tables and looked out at the foothill. The view was totally worth it. Instead of going home, I went to hers, and we spent then rest of the day together.

06/28/17 — Tuesday I occupied myself with doing a little more studying. Class doesn't start until the 3rd, but still no reason not to study ahead. In the evening, purple said she had something to go do, and took her car with her, so I gave kitten a call, and she let me come over. I brought a bottle, but it was of the wrong kind of stuff and we mostly talked about shooting star. I ate some crow and apologized. Hopefully I'm on a path to making things better.

06/27/17 — Woke up late, like super late, by a light rapping at my door. It was shooting star, came to see me, which was a delightful surprise. We talked a little about the awkwardness that happened at the fire house the other day. She asked me a question I really didn't know how to answer. I think, that people don't know just how naive I am with those kinds of things. Then about how my Mom doesn't particularly like purple. Well too bad about that, she's around to stay. Purple and I spent the day together, looking at new sofas on-line and having a general good time for a couple of crazy kids.

06/26/17 — Went to the Athletic Park with a book and in my jogging outfit. After i had a run, I curled up under a tree and read a little of the reading for my history class. I figure there's no reason why not to get ahead in the reading; being the giant nerd that I am. After that, went home and changed before going to the beach. I still have the welt down my chest, but it was already faded a bunch. I got some sun, with the earbuds in, letting YouTube randomly put something new on. A comical song slipped on, so I sent it to purple. She liked it so much, she wanted to come over so I had little chance to get back home and shower off sunscreen before she got there. We spent a nice time in, and she stayed the night.

06/25/17 — Took my iPhone out for a walk to Maple park. I saw shooting star on the swings, and remembered our last encounter. I didn't want to get verbally slapped again so I tried leaving before she noticed me but no dice. I was more than a jerk, still feeling in a bad mood. There's only so many times you can give your heart so someone to have them throw it away. And then, we just sort of started to connect again. I couldn't stay mad at her, especially when she revealed why she was gone so long. And then it hit me then. That I had been doing the same thing to her and kitten, that was done to me. Maybe I just needed to be a friend. She thought so too. We went to her place after, to hang out with kitty. They have a fire pole. A real not-so-live fire pole. I took a turn down it, but forgot that my open shirt on brass don't mix well. I may have picked up a new nickname. There was talk about my relationship briefly before the photographer showed up in, well. What can only be described as a very brave outfit. They had apparently engaged in a bet, the details were lost to me, but they agreed that he had won so they were going to have to get some sort of tattoo. Things then started getting weird, and I decided to get going while the going was good.

Waffle Mania

Ghosts from the past
They won't let me go
I server the cords, but
They keep coming back

"I'm sorry," say the winners
And how should I feel
Happy for their success
Or the bleeding pain over my ordeal?

06/24/17 — To give my YouTube fans a sign that I was still alive, I held an impromptu AMA in the morning. There were a few people really engaged with asking questions, and wanting to know what's in the future for me. That lasted well into the afternoon. After that, I grabbed a light lunch and then took a jog to clear my head. When I got back home I did a little work and when I looked up again, it was after six and I was starving so I went to WaffleMania to some virgins. I was minding my own business when the third wheel showed up at my table. She told me she was sorry for everything, but I could help but remember when she was walking away, that she used to tell me she'd fix everything. I guess she doesn't believe it anymore. After she was gone I wrote a little poem; and sent it to purple. I felt like sharing.

06/23/17 — In the morning, I took a little drive after breakfast. In the afternoon, I went to Maple park for a little run. It had been awhile, but I saw shooting star there. It felt kind of weird to see her again, after she broke up our friendship. I'm reminded over how I feel about her, but how she keeps pushing me away at the same time as telling me she feels the same way. But I wasn't the only one feeling awkward. We had a good conversation; or so I thought. When she took a bite at me, I figured it would be best to just keep moving. So I left her there at the park. It gave me plenty of time to think; I know, a lot of heavy lifting.

06/22/17 — First full day back. I figured there's no better time than to register for new session's classes. Freshman's Seminar is so stupid. I know it's requirement, but for someone like me it doesn't really make much sense. But if I keep taking only two courses at a time, graduation is going to take forever. Taking History of Film for the other one. Once I did all that, I spent a me day. After vegging out at home, and then recording some fresh content for my YouTube fans, I went out in the evening to a local art gallery. They had some neat sculpted mushroom and ferns throughout the building that it made it look sorta outdoors-y.

06/21/17 — And back. You know, I've never really appreciated having as weird a schedule as I do when it allows me to just take off on short notice, spend a couple of days in my old neighborhood and do touristy stuff with my main squeeze. We were a little early the first day, so we killed some time by traveling over the Golden Gate Bridge. The Uber driver said he gets a lot of tourists asking to do that. After that we had Father's day dinner with my parents. It, uh. Could have gone better, but I was able to get purple back in a good mood after that, because I'm funny. Looking. The Trolley station was within walking distance of the hotel, so that was a start. Saw the crazy houses on the hills. She said she saw the house from Fuller House, but I think she's crazy. Went down to Fisherman's Wharf; we were told if we wanted to see the seals then we should have shown up sooner, but we were pretty lucky I guess and saw one milling about. After that it was to Chinatown, I got some different tea, 'for enhanced energy', the store owner said and she and purple exchanged looks just to get me to blush more. The tea wasn't all that bad. That night I wanted to take her back to my old stomping grounds since I knew the first girlfriend wasn't going to be in SanFran. We went to Muir Beach overlook. There's a little cave there when the local boys take the girls and make out. I made sure she got the full Muir experience.

06/18/17 — Breakfast time, then took a jog. I got a few things ready, took a deep breath and then bit the bullet and asked her if she wanted to go with me. The GF was actually surprisingly accepting and willing to go at a moments notice. I'm not exactly sure what that says about her. Anyways, this is just a little note before she gets here. Got a copy of my book for her, I hope she likes the foreword. I think I'll have a tea while I wait and then maybe record a holder video. Uh, nervous. I need something for my nerves a little stronger than tea. Oh, I hear her at the door now, TTYL.

06/17/17 — So, woke up this morning and realized I was a little nervous - tomorrow is Father's day. A little big because it's when the family gets together, celebrates my birthday and Dad's day at the same time. More then that, Sarah'd asked if I was seeing anyone and if I was going to bring them, you know, plenty of time to remember that I hadn't told the GF about it. I spent the rest of the morning making plans as if she was going. I'm so stupid, but at least the last thing I'll do is ask her. After I made the preparations, I went for an afternoon jog at the North Beach Athletic Park. Went home, cleaned up, and then back outside and walked to the beach. I was setting up to set some sun and a tan, when I met shutterbug. Small world, he knew the GF. We chatted for a bit, and then he left to find a drink. Nice guy; think he's from Scotland.

06/16/17 — Started the day off with a jog, and then a light breakfast. Inspiration took over while I was listening to the White Stripes about new book idea. What would the effects be to the local flora and fauna if there is a wall across the border. Only, you know, try not to make it political, there's enough of that already. The make up test went well; the Professor was agreeable, and I took it in her office. It was hard, harder than I thought it could be. But I managed to get it done. When I got home, exhausted, I found that my advances were waiting for me. Hooray, I'm published again, next the mind numbing sales; my book, my brand... myself.

06/15/17 — Yesterday and today, I kind of made a nuisance of myself. Cramping the GF's style wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be, but mostly because we really didn't go anywhere, just talked and... other stuff. Finally decided to disengage in the evening, can't help but think it's a good thing I don't have pets. After all that, I really couldn't think about anything or anyone else. What I do have to do is talk with my Prof to see if I can get a make up for her final, oops. There's another one today too, ugh. I find myself contemplating nothing, while fidgeting her gift.

06/13/17 — HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!
Woke up feeling great! Texted my gal, and that was great. Took a jog along the beach, and that was great. Had breakfast on the pier, you guessed it, great. Then I went shopping, great. Took a nap, great. Pedi/mani, painful (but great.) Orange julias, also great. Watched some Netflix, pretty great. At supper, bugged the great girlfriend for greatness and she greatly a-great-ly agreed to great BBQ. Great. I gave her the second of the third gifts, never you mind what the third is, and she gave me this great bracelet and the great thing about that is I've never told her about why I wear so many of them. It's like... she just knows me. Ugh, gush. She's just great. I hope my parents like her as much as I do.📷

06/12/17 — My first final today; History of Film. I think it went well, well enough. The Professor thinks I'm doing well in his class so, I ought not have any problems. Then I pulled my head out of my own world for a minute and saw an advertisement for Remember the 49 remembrance at The Back Door. I went, but it felt kinda weird. Read the names, at least, before I left. Returned to campus, Intro to Media final is next. But, tomorrow is my birthday!

06/11/17 — Today was actually a great day. I got woke up in the most pleasant way imaginable, and spent the morning with purple. Took a doze and when I woke up, my sweet angel was gone, but I was STARVING. Had breakfast/lunch and putz around the apartment doing laundry, cleaning stains. About three-ish, went out for a jog, and got a text from shooting star. She was a little drunk, sent me a sweet picture, and then said we couldn't be friends anymore. It was pretty surreal. Shared with the GF, she thought so too, and then I told her it was my birthday in two days. It'd slipped my mind. Sent a package off by FedEx and then went out for a bit to study, I had to find a new place since I can't go to Roasters anymore.

06/10/17 — While the GF rested the night away, I took my new trophies on a stroll, in the afternoon. Went to get coffee and to study, I know, I know. That's sort of like taking your laptop to a cafe and hoping people will ask you about your manuscript. But, while there and speaking with glasses girl I overheard third wheel talking about the Ex and I felt the walls closing in. I guess I'm not as over it as I thought I was. Why do I feel lied to and taken advantage of? Glasses girl and I found a quiet place to talk and fool around in for awhile. She gave me her digits and left after hearing my sob story, but I did warn her it was sophomoric. Took a short stroll in the woods after that, hadn't played with my instrument in a while, so that was fun.

06/09/17 — Saw shooting star around noon-ish when she came by my apartment and we hung out for a bit. This got a little out of hand, and steamy, like they do with her. The GF showed up during and I thought it was going to be awkward, but it really wasn't. She showed me to whom I belong, and in that sense be belonging was better that any aphrodisiac.

06/08/17 — Thursday was spent recuperating from the day before. Purple knows how to celebrate the right way. Or at least that was the plan; unfortunately I forgot I had an Intro to Digital Media class, so I arrived for that class dutifully late.

06/07/17 — Weather was a little overcast today, so I stayed inside and used the elliptical to get my run in. Breakfast, bacon and eggs, hooray. I had some studying to make up, and then there were YouTube videos to make a batch of. I wasn't supposed to make an announcement about my book coming out, but I couldn't help teasing it a little. Dad saw it, and he gave me a call later in the afternoon when I was studying. Wanted to know more, how I was doing, if I've made any friends. You know Dads. In the evening she showed up, and the rest of the night was pretty much a wash.

06/06/17 — Make out morning before I said my reluctant good byes and gave a change for the rooms to air out. I can't stay locked away forever (unfortunately.) A sore jog, followed by lunch. I returned some calls I'd missed out on. Good news, the book's gone to the printers! Now to let everybody do their bit of work and eventually everybody'll see the kind of pain I had gone through, and gotten over, ah. <3

06/05/17 — Woke up super early, for me anyways and had a bit of fun. I had classes, but... I mean it's an easy class and I've been studying this body of work for the last while. God, I hope she's on the final 'cuz I'll be sure to get an A. She's going to get me in trouble, but really nice trouble. Spent the whole day together again. We had a conversation early on in my visit that she doesn't need her torture devices, so, I mean... why not? Now I just have to try to see if I can like it too; I mean, besides that one thing. I liiiike that one thing.

06/04/17 — Studying at the Koi pond in the afternoon, North Beach Athletic Park, after breakfast and run. Got interrupted studying by being chased by the wildlife, then met glasses girl. We chatted for a bit and then she had to leave. I wasn't in any mood to study then, so I sent the GF some BAD poetry, and I think I got back Fallout 4 intro song lyrics. She's such a nerd, I love it. I got my van and headed over to her ... dwelling and stayed the night. Things get out of control around her, and I need to learn cool down, but she knows where my buttons are. <3

06/03/17 — Woke up in the morning, a little late. No classes, but finals ARE fast approaching. So after a jog, and publishing some new videos. Posted one about ways to reduce carbon foot prints, that I have to admit, I could do better at, like unplugging the devices you aren't using and eating less meat. But I like meat. That took up a large chunk of the day and I figured some studying was in order, so I went out to get some overcast sun at the North Beach Athletic Park garden and studied in the gazebo until after dark, then went home.

06/02/17 — Little bit of a work out today. I found out from my friend at the publishers who I stayed with that Ash is actually a woman, which surprised me. But the reason she's being so cold with the editing is because she doesn't think guys have feelings, never mind that they need a book about it. Locked in, I have to put up with it like a good boy and this too shall pass. She got a little aggressive after, and I had to remind her I've got someone, and she got mad then suggested drinks, but I have home work, so I went back home. Did a bit of studying, had a surprise visitor which rounded the day out pretty nicely.

06/01/17 — Jogged a new trail today after waking up. Runner's high is awesome. Breakfast, then studying more. At lunch I did my good deed... maybe for the year. Introduced 7-11 to leather pants. Things went super well, even though 7-11 insisted on wearing her beanie. Now she's got a steady job, and people get to enjoy her art. Gives me a warm glow knowing I did something nice for someone that's nice. Celebratory dinner went as well as could be expected; dinner was comp'ed. I'll have to get leather pants back for that.

05/31/17 — Not much going on today. A few more corrections came in, but other than that, I was studying for the finals, like a good boy. Sent some little nothings to the girlfriend, it got real cute. She's going to be dangerous for my grades, but... in a good way. Threw up more content on the channel, importance of the Paris agreements, things of that nature. Spaced out, it'll buy me more time.

05/30/17 — Late start to the day, of course. Spent the day mostly at the U, classes, studying in the stacks. Lunch at the little cart in the quad, why not. Tomorrow I'll have to remember to work extra hard. My little surprise for the GF still hasn't shown up; but really? What to you get the woman that can have anything? Light dinner, was invited to Alpha Epsilon Pi house for a party. Might as well go, but on a Tuesday? Fooled around on the 'ccordion, started to pen a song; they're just poems to music, right? I dunno. I had to stop when the guy upstairs started stomping on the floor. If the view wasn't so good, I wish I'd bought the house. Ah well.

05/29/17 — Sigh. Back to the grind, I guess. Spring session ends on the 9th, so, even though I'm not going to fail these classes, no point in not studying for them. Hate. Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'Write Drunk; Edit Sober'. If that's true, I'm going to be a fantastic writer, because Ash is driving me to drink. Not really, but if I get another note about lazy writing, I swear. I'll talk to the publishers later about it, but right now I have to concentrate. At least until it turned dark. I mean it's a holiday, no school, so might as well go party. I went to the Rhapsody, actually seems pretty nice; I fit in there more than anywhere else. Came home late, right to bed.

05/28/17 — Woke up, purple was gone. Sad. But sore, so deliciously sore, mmmph! Nothing to do on a Sunday but study and do more corrections. Ash is getting on my cash about being more forthcoming with my corrections, like all I have to do with my time is to do them. I'm sure he's a good editor and all, but. Took a break to do a little online shopping. the GF liked the last poem I gave her even though it was trash. I think they have to say that, though. So I tried for something, better. Took another look through tickle monster's electric van plans. Still doesn't make much sense.

05/27/17 — Purple, the GF, woke me up by replying to the text. She was over right away. Best. Day. Ever. I'm so happy. So sore, but so happy. And I didn't think I would fit in those, but they weren't all that bad.

05/26/17 — A little bit of corrections that my editor, Ash, FedEx'ed over. This guy is brutal. A did a bit of it, and then some homework slash studying. At least that was the plan. I was happy for the distraction when shooting star showed up and we talked for a little bit, then third wheel arrived with plans for the electric vehicle. That was more interesting but I think it bored shooting star, so she left. Third wheel later brushed my hair, I punished her knot tugs with a tickle . She got her revenge with a tickle and things ended a little... unexpectedly. Sent a text to the GF, but she didn't reply, went to sleep thinking of her.

05/25/17 — When it rains, it pours. Texts, studying, and worse still, more corrections. They tell me I have a new editor because this is new material for me and this guy's just the worst. Every little thing, rather than just correcting it and moving on, sends it back to me to let me know I got it wrong. Just send the book to the printer all ready. Sheesh. I'mma have to blow off some steam.

05/24/17 — Morning started out in only a minor panic. Deadlines suck so much. They're being pricks about it too, talking about installing fines if I'm late. Hardasses; the classes was their idea. Afternoon, shooting star came over with something delicious. Had a stimulating conversation, but my classes get in the way. In the evening I got another visit from purple. :). Just... :). Gave her a nice present and she let me cuddle. 'Love loves to love love.'

05/23/17 — While out for a morning jog, I ran into 7-11 girl. I met some of her friends and Theo and Andre seem like a really nice gay couple. She escorted me back to my place since she's much tougher than I am. It's a good day for me when I'm able to use my powers for good, I think I was able to hook her up with casino girl to help her music career. Hopefully she won't forget the little people, like me. Later in the evening, purple and I had some Nexflix and chilled. I missed that.

05/22/17 — Got some chapters back, more red than black. Editors have no soul. Went to school for a bit, had to borrow a pen from a pretty cool guy. When that pen didn't work, his buddy's pen did. Turns out they were with Alpha Epsilon Pi and said I should join, you know, if I wasn't Jewish. We had a laugh over that and while I'm tickled, a little, at the idea, something about the idea of 'Going Greek' as they put it gave me pause. I'll think about it. Homework, corrections.

05/21/17 — More writing, I love this high of making words do their little dance for me. Pulling them from the nothing they were in so that they make some semblance of sense. After that, Intro to Media. I think this semester I'll be able to skip a lot of classes and still pass. Bought a gift and called purple to ask if she wanted to come over. Things didn't go like I thought they would; they went better. I'm such a sucker for love.

05/20/17 — No rest for the wicked, so especially no rest for me. While writing, shooting star sent me a text. Do I want to check out a natural spring with her? Uh, yeah! We took her bike over which was a new experience for me, in behind, getting all hands-y, you know, for balance. And then the hike over wasn't so bad but I wasn't watching where I was going so I took a tumble. The water was freezing, fortunately I had her to keep me warm. The spot she knew must be pretty popular because there was a guy there later that she knew. I called him by the wrong name; I can't imagine how I was distracted, bikinis are awesome. Later, when I was back in town, I saw the third-wheel at the Tea House, where I get mine. I should think of a different pseudonym for her. We chatted for a bit, she nearly cried (I have that effect on woman.) We managed to regroup and I invited her back to my place as my first guest because my hair needed brushing and she likes doing it.

05/19/17 — Woke up early and did more writing. Books don't make themselves, unfortunately or everybody would do it. Before I knew it it was pretty late, and I got a call from possum guy. He wanted to have a chat, and I wasn't really doing anything; ironically the depression chapter was depressing, so I agreed to go. We had a long, illuminating conversation and I learned more talking with him then I have in a good long while. He invited a friend over, and before I had to go we got clean.

05/18/17 — Did a bit of writing, but then I got a call I'd been waiting for. 7-11 had a gig and wanted to know if I wanted to attend. Damn right I did. The setting wasn't great, but I wasn't there for that. I invited a few people to check her out, but only one of them could make it. Beer is terrible, I don't know why people drink it. Hottie had the evening free, or so we thought. So I took her to that Indian place on Broadway and Second. I had a really nice time, we chatted for a bit before some of the local, and colorful wildlife came in. She blessed the naan, which was a little old fashioned, but there's nothing wrong with an old fashioned lady. And then, as I should have expected, she got called back into work. Still, I had a nice time.

05/17/17 — Heard back from the publishers, they loved the new book! Of course there are some changes to make but it's looking good. The hits on the methane-biomass are pretty good, subscription rate is good even though YouTube's being weird about monetized videos. Spoke to the 7-11 cutie, and got invited to her show. She's good, so I'll go of course. Acted on my third wheel instincts, and got called out. Kind of a relief actually, but sad. So lonely, how long has it been now? More classes, co-eds looking nice.

05/16/17 — More class work. Who knew being a student would leave you so busy all the time? I met someone nice while out for a quick bite at the 7-11. We talked for a long time, she's nice. Then it was back to more classes and reading some dirty texts. :) Back home, did some homework, worked on channel stuff. Pacific Northwest National Laboratory discovered how to turn methane into biomass. I can use that as material for days. Cars powered on cow farts. I know, I'm three. Talked with my Prof for awhile about this, has me stoked. Spent awhile at school, went to see a late showing of Guardians, and then texted the hottie. Good day!

05/15/17 — Movers came in early, so I had to skip a class. I think I can make it up, Intro to Media isn't that hard. I had some of it in boxes already, and what I didn't, they did. The hardest thing was the shoe box of her things. I saved that as the last thing I was going to take out. Figure if I miss anything, management will get it to me. Now I'm surround in boxes again, about a month later, and a very little bit smarter. Took a drive up to San Fran, and spent the rest of the day with Mom and some of the siblings. Dad got her yesterday, so it was our turn to spoil her rotten the day after Mother's day. Drive back I saw some bikers, and that got me thinking. I dunno, I guess everything will be alright.

05/14/17 — Didn't feel like doing much of anything. Saw Shooting star in the woods. She and I are going to get in trouble. On the drive back I realized I'm becoming their third wheel, and that's not cool. I also realized two others things; there aren't much self-help books for getting over breakups for guys, and I need to pay more attention to the road and less in my own head. When I got home I jotted down some ideas and sent them off to the publishers. Maybe they're bite. It's not my normal kind of book. It's a Sunday, but I had to spend the rest of my time organizing my things for the move and studying.

05/13/17 — Fell asleep at the stacks, embarrassing. Home for a shower and a change of clothes, then other to Roasters to get coffee in me and catch up on late admission work. Called some movers but the soonest they can start is Monday. Just don't answer the door, don't stay at home. Book suggested getting self-esteem back, so I asked out Leather Pants. She accepted. I went to pick her up at 6, but work happened and had to take a rain check. Lost some cash at the Casino, but not much. After that I took a walk, thought about smoking pot more, how horrible my life is: you know, wallowing in self-pity. Stumbled into Maple Park and ran into friends there that are good on a man's ego, though when they got amorous with each other I felt awkward. I walked home, forgetting I was avoiding the place, but it's funny that it took until the breakup for her to actually TALK to me.

05/12/17 — So today was a bitch. Felt like getting out of bed, and got some sun even though the weather wasn't for it. Stopped to get a book to help me get over ... everything. The GF...ex-GF found me, and reminded me how over things were because I took a drug that makes you touch things, and I touched things. Had a healthy cry, then afternoon classes. Later in the day the third wheel showed up. Gloated. At least she'll be there to pick up the ex's pieces. With friends like this, right? Found a new place, has a view of the ocean. Can't move soon enough. Heard a new song I like, Kissing Strangers. Think I'll take DNCE's advice for awhile.

05/11/17 — Ecstasy can be great, but the down is a downer; planned on spending all day in bed until I got texts from the GF. She 'doesn't want to be in a relationship' and thinks 'I'll be fine'. I guess it's clearer this time. Only got out of bed to get some water and write this. Back to bed and pray for death, FML. Or at least that was the plan. A friend came over to cheer me up and we spent hours just talking. I was feeling better when she had to leave, and I guess I will be fine. I need to move.

05/10/17 — Didn't do much of anything other than some school stuff. Studying sucks, home schooling is much better. Then I made a new video about the new book without saying too much. A little bit of research got me started. A guy in one of my classes invited me to a dorm party, and a friend he knew had some E. Last time was a BLAST on molly, so I thought I'd have some fun. Everything was going well -- until the GF's GF threw booze in my face and made a scene. I don't know why she and the GF were so upset. No replies to my texts.

05/09/17 — The texts worked! Just woke up from her visit. We actually talked this time, to start. Then I paid her back what I owned her. She makes up the best, ugh! After I woke up, I really wasn't feeling like moving, so... kinda just stayed home and walked around the home in my nothings. Worked more on the book, working title: The animals behind Trump's wall? I dunno, not married to it.

05/08/17 — I did some work on my new book. The GF's GF took some interest in my book ideas, and I like the idea about the effects Trump's proposed wall will have on the animal life that uses the border. As with any good book, research and lots of internet clicks. Still nothing from the GF, so I took matters into my own hands and sent her some texts. Hope I hear from her soon. Publishers happy I'm writing, naturally.

05/07/17 — Took a jog at Surfer's Cove. Ran into a cute girl I'd seen before, but she's kinda weird and looks me in the eyes really intensely. The cool girl with the awesome hair showed up, the day got better. Then a drug dealer showed up, nice guy but he was giving his stuff away. I normally stick to all natural, but awesome hair wanted to give it a try and I'm down to impress her. She picked Molly and we spent the rest of the day touching EVERYTHING. I checked my phone later, no message from the GF. It's another repeat of last time. But there was one from someone new. Possumboy seems alright, if a little unfair. Still, I got a diet Pepsi out of it and met a cute Asian girl that makes martial aids, of all things. Definitely have to get her out again.

05/06/17 — Another late night visit by the GF's GF. We exchanged apologies for my open mouth-insert foot. Then we chatted. She asked me something weird, and then we got close as I got stroked. I got to know her a little before I got super tired and realized we'd been together for hours and I had to get some sleep for a meeting in LA in a few hours so we got some sleep. I managed to get to my meeting only a little late. Exchanged book ideas, collected an advance. Now to enroll in University of California, Prospect. Yay. Nothing good to say about a meeting I had afterwards; some people can be dicks, and some people just are.

05/05/17 — Started the day off well enough. My GF's GF came over late, we had a conversation. It was good, but I'm an idiot. Had a conversation with the GF in the morning that lasted a little while before the clothes came off, so of course there were harsh emotions. Making up is fun though, but I think I just noticed, she initiates. Is that normal? Anyways, the friend came over, we went for Waffles. I made a mistake and got slapped for it. Brought back a lot of bad... baggage. She left after that and I helped by lashing out at everybody around me. Today I was definitely uncool. :(

05/04/17 — Found a groovy little place called Off the Record. Not exactly my kind of crowd, but the tea was nice. Then it was over to WaffleMania to stuff myself with virgins. A night time jog and nap later and it was 7:30. Time for breakfast. Over bacon and eggs I had two visitors. Got a new picture of the GF that I LOVE. Made some loose plans to do a show for the kids at Chan's work. Plans fell threw for a triple date, so ended up Netflix and chillin'

05/03/17 — Spoke with the publishers yesterday and today. We worked on a deal; rather than going away for a year, I can stick around. Transfer my credits to the university and get some information about where I'm going. Hey, maybe I can turn this stupid book thing into a career. Got back around noon, answered an interesting text from the GF. YouTubed. It was a good couple of days. Wish I could remember last night though.

05/01/17 — Didn't do anything at all today, much. A subscriber reached out to me and we had a long conversation and boy and girls and the stupid way life is. I hope I helped, she seems like such a nice person.

04/30/17 — Thanked my friend for her advice the other day, it's the nice thing to do. I'll have to get her a present -- maybe some turkey basters and jars of mayo. She'll get it. Then I took myself on a tour of the forest. It was hell, but I brought my accordion and I played a bit. In the forest, just me and mother nature. I felt like taking my clothes off and running around, but I guess I'm not THAT much of a dirty hippie. I did meet a bunch of nice people, too much in fact, so I just hung around the back and provided entertainment. Anyways, after I left, came back home. Day was pretty shot with driving there and back, so just some tea and watch Markiplier videos. He makes me laugh.

04/29/17 — Woke up to another nighttime visit. This one was a little... different. I think everything's going to be ok now, though, now that there are some rules set. Man. Took some time for myself that day. No girlfriend yesterday or today and I don't want to seem needy, so I gave her her space. Checked out the desert some more, my head is buzzing with ideas -- I'll put them in my work journal. I advertised a AMA for my fans, who knows if they'll even respond. Then I looked at my videos; YouTube changed monitization so I might need new ideas on getting more fans. Maybe if I show my tits! :)

04/28/17 — Went to a new gym to sign up. What a mistake that was. After paying some employee there told me I needed to bulk up, and that was after maligning my gender. All in front of other customers, and while I had paid for the service. If I ever want abuse, I know where to go. Took a stroll at Surfer's Cove, just to watch the sun rise, missing home a little bit. Found some neat places in the desert to explore later, maybe with some company? Later that evening I had dumplings with the girlfriend and her friend. But they bailed on me, so I texted some women I knew and we had a long conversation about my late night problems. Met the most lovely server-slash-owner.

04/27/17 — Ran some ideas by my editor, checked on some new video ideas. Went to WaffleMania and got back in touch with a friend. Went back to her place and took the full tour. Found out something super awesome about the girlfriend. Later in the night I went to a goth club, because I was in a weird mood. Got a phone number and then the hottest woman, like, ever came over and talked to me. I gave her my card, maybe she'll call.

04/26/17 — Encoder being difficult. Publishers asking for an answer. Just seeing her gives me joy.

04/25/17 — Recording a batch of videos to release over the weekend. Cuddles on the bed. Great day.

04/24/17 — She came back! :) I didn't know I could be mad, and happy, scared I'd chase her off again, and horny all at the same time. I'm just glad she's back.

04/23/17 — Edited videos, met new friends, went clubbing and got st00pid. :)

04/22/17 — Moping on the schedule. Met a guy on the beach.

04/21/17 — Nothing today. She's not answering her door. Did we break up?

04/20/17 — Busy day: had our first argument at the beach, she ran off. Not answering her phone. I found the most interesting person at the park looking for her; we drew a crowd. I didn't know what to do, so I went to the publisher's for some advice. She got a little mad, but then calmed down after we had some wine. I suppose I drank too much and she put me to bed, because I don't remember anything after that first glass. The search goes on.📷

04/19/17 — Came back at way too early o'clock, because I just had to give my neighbor something. Then a greet with the extended family.

04/18/17 — Spent the night in Los Angeles even though it's only two hour drive. One of the publishers had a killer view. They're talking South America; but I'm dubious.

04/17/17 — More editing, then a strip poker event. I got to see some famous boobs so that's nice, but then I had to go. Stupid publishers.

04/16/17 — Edited some videos that Friday then called the girl and we went jogging. I got mugged, can you believe that? Anyways, day ended well, like, really well. Like, I didn't go back to my place for three days. I like her.

04/13/17 — Met a girl. She just about literally fell into me. She's got good taste. Kiss on the beach.

04/12/17 — All moved in, finally. That's a relief.

04/11/17 — Detour from moving in, think I'll spend one night looking at the ocean.📷

Dusk

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