2020-12-21 Only The Best May Breed

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Only The Best May Breed
Gogh seeks the best rat to breed with!
IC Date 21th of December, 2020
Players Harvey, Perfection, Gogh as Biological Clock Ticking ST.
Location The Shanty Village - Home of Ratkin!
Prp/Tp One Shot Scene
Spheres Ratkin
Theme Song Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch


Gogh had been recovering. Slowly, but she had been, her hand never leaving that knife clutched in one hand. The news about Audrey had made her grimace, but thanks had been given. Today marked the day the little Knife Skulker rose to her feet, wincing and stretching, back in her homid form. She glanced at her deceitmates, considering them briefly, and offered a wan smile and a small clearing of her throat

Perfection is trying on pants. They are not Adibas pants, they are tights with the Captain Marvel patterning up the sides. She's still barefeet, and she's definitely wearing her very soft pink hoodie. She's also in homid and seems fascinated by the sensation of the stretch fabric.

And, yes, it would seem that Harvey as well is in homid form. And that Gogh better watch where she puts her feet because all around her are a about 50 or more mousetraps. Each one of them are hooked up to a piece of metal cord leading off to some contraption that is hooked up to a foghorn. Touch on of traps and you might not have much hearing left! He's over by the RV, having a line of sight to Gogh but for now working on his Drone. The clearing of throat has the Engineer peer up and over.

Gogh settles back down, a little bleary, her arm in a rough sling as she lets it heal naturally. She is pale, but has a pleased, bright air of victory to her "Yes. My thanks. My Harvey. My PerfectioN" She chatters, and coughs once, then nods to the two. Settled and stiff and remaining in the midst of the mousetraps! "Momma has been good to us, bringing us all together. Helping one another. I ... said I would not do a duty, until I was Voto. I am" Her little button nose lifts "So now, I must do what Momma says, and have children for Momma! But ... I am still tired, and sore, and I cannot find the best rat" She nods to the two, eagerly "Might I ask you both? To find the Best Rat for my children, for Momma?"

Perfection blinks once and looks up from her ridicolous tights to look over at Gogh, then over to Harvey, then back to Gogh. She has little issue avoiding the mouse-traps wandering around. So far. If she triggers one, she'll probably trigger everything. Still, now she's listening, tugging the hood of her hoodie up - it's like a rat-ear, she can focus where she's listening with it! Giving sage nods to what Gogh is saying. "I know just where to find the Best Rats! They all live in the Umbra!" She declares proudly.

Harvey is holding a piping hot smoldering iron, waving it around a bit as he listens to Gogh and replies with, "Oh, no no. No no. Not the Umbra. The -smartest- rats come from labs!" he replies, "Very smart rats. Very cunning!" he waves the thing around; don't get too close! "We'll help you find." "Except she didn't ask for the smartest rats, she asked for the Best Rats. And Best Rats come from the Umbra. I come from the Umbra," Perfection points out, with perfect logic.

Gogh grins at the two starting to bicker, and lays down again, stretching her good arm "You two can discuss this" She says with a nod "I trust you. To find the best rat to be a daddy for Momma, for me." She nods seriously. This is a Quest!

"No no no. Being Smart is being Best. Smart is good. Smart is best." Harvey retorts to this, "Umbra is good, but Smart is better." he nods his head quickly, "From labs. From cages. Escaped, very good rats." he finally puts the smoldering iron away.

Perfection gives Harvey a dubious look. "Maybe we both find what is Best Rat, and Gogh can mate with both." See? Perfect sense. "Until we have best rat babies from best rat daddy and Gogh."

Silence. For a few moments, silence. Then Harvey goes, "AH! Competition! We find best of rats, and have them fight! Strongest, best rat wins! Labyrinth! Fight! Solve problem!" he nods his head quickly, "Yes, yes. Thats the best way." Always thinking like an Engineer.

The dubious look continues. But Perfection, well, she goes to look for the nearest reflective surface. "Don't worry," She tells Gogh. "I'll find you Best Rat." And there's a slight eye towards Harvey, before she readies herself to shift into the Umbra.

Oh, no she did not! She's getting a head start! Harvey drops what he is doing and rushes to an old tarp hanging over .. something. He yanks it away, revealing a .. vespa moped! It looks like it could fall apart, and it looks.. modified to go FAST! "No, I will!" he begins to roll it towards the entrance. The Race Is On!

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Harvey rolls Intelligence(4) + Enigmas(2) + 2 (8 dice) vs 6 for 3 successes.
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<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Perfection rolls Charisma + Lore Spirit vs 4 for 4 successes.
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Perfection shifts to the other side of the mirror, where her birthmark practically glows. She shifts into her rat-form, and chitters loudly, attempting to attract other spirits of her kin - once she tracks down one - Runs-Many-Mazes, a Spirit Rat that can travel and is connected to other of her kind, she weaves a wondrous tale of a Rat in the Physical, most beautiful and brave, and fertile. How she's seeking a mate, a father for this one's children, and knows that a perfect union will come if she can find the rat of fortune and fertility that will be, in a word, the baby daddy. Perhaps she goes a little off track here and there, distracted by tales of future heroics of these children, but overall she manages to stay on message, and requests to travel with Runs-Many-Mazes to interview appropriate rat-spirits. Who, ideally, can come to the physical with her for a chance to get physical with Gogh.

Harvey zooms through traffic like a mad-rat on a souped up vespa moped which is exactly what it is he is riding on. He is heading for the last known location of the Colony of Caged Folk. They are nervous buggers, paranoid. Always moving. But he knows them. He knows how to find them. It would not be long before he moved into their lair, an old abandoned warehouse full of various knicknacks and doodads. There, upon finding the Colony, he proclaims .. The Competition! He riles them all up with a firey speech about a dangerous obstacle course that he will build. And once done, they will all have to compete in it. And the fastest, strongest and smartest of them will get a Price! To carry on their genetical heritage to a new generation! After which he goes about building said course. Which, as he realised, he should have done -before- he went to the Colony.

Perfection is guided, with Run's Many Mazes, to a rat-infested apartment building, the very walls themselves practically alive. She certainly riles up the spirits! Gafflings of all sorts of Rat's brood swarm, peering and jabbing and bouncing and insisting, proclaiming their worth in a furious cacophony of Ratness. This one has the most perfect ears. THAT one has a tail that could strange the World Serpant! This one's claws cut out Odin's other eye (he got better). But how to choose? How to decide? How to soothe the feelings of the second and third and others?

Harvey is greeted, in contrast, with scrutiny and solumnity. The little rodents bow their heads, peering through crystal lenses and studying him, sniffling and twitching their whiskers. These learned figures, though, are quick to perk up at the chance! Yes! Genetic Deviance and Expansion! This is a necessity! They listen, they enthuse, and many, many tiny pieces of paper are produced. Some are also eaten.

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Perfection rolls Perception + Primal Urge vs 4 for 6 successes.
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<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Harvey rolls Intelligence(4) + Traps(3) (7 dice) vs 6 for 1 successes.
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The Sweetest Perfection is the Perfect Rodens. She slithers along the walls with careless abandon, her fur on end with thrill as her whiskers rub against the spirit-flesh of her kin. Sniffling. Snuffling. Tasting, touching. She rubs against the many bodies, gets a feel for them, hears them call. She praises their many positive qualities, praising them, one after the other - until she finds Fat Rat of Fortune, a Rat with its own shrine in the Chinatown part of Prospect - a golden-furred rat with a halo and a handful of rice, which he's gotten from offerings throughout the year. Yes, he has the right combination of courage and fertility, fortune and prosperity, to ensure that any children he father will be just PERFECT. Also, he can materialise. His hefty frame is a sign of his good health. She declares him the finest _for this purpose,_ and stresses to the rats that they are all such excellent examples of rat-dom that her task was near impossible - and she will find other ways for them to act to impress the earthly rats, soon!

Harvey gets to work. Oh, does he get to work! Without waiting, he gets down to business to design the bestest and baddest of all obstacle courses for rats. It has traps, pitfalls and dangers! He even tosses in a few burly warf rats in the mix. They are in a foul mood and will require some thinking or brawn to get past! And in the end, it is quite a marvel to behold. And what an obstacle it proves to be for the Caged Folk! He told them they are being timed as well, so they can't just lounge around forever! And along the way, some fail, some give up and some do both (which should not be possibly, but chaos succeeds!). But in the end, a few of them get through. The fastest of them was also the smartest. The most clever. The most cunning! And in the end, he is the one Harvey declares winner!

Both Harvey and Perfection have their champions! The Fat Rat of Fortune glimmers contentedly, listening to the Sweetest Perfection and consenting to be bourne on her head to this place of testing. The Great Rat Mother's name is invoked as a promise and oath to abide by this, and it is, indeed, a heavy, fat rat. Harvey finds JK7872SlashBee. Slashbee for short! A quick, nimble, smart little thing with constantly moving hands, constantly bruxing teeth and eyes that boggle behind shards of gnawed crystal! He takes his victory magnaminously, clasping paws and saying a fond farewell and promising to return, before clambering to one of Harvey's pockets, for the return. When they do return ... there is an arena. Some ten feet across, it is littered with irritatingly pokey things, with pitfalls and deadtraps, with all manner of things that can harass and poke at an opponent! And rats surround it, on pedestals, peering down with all manner of interest. And there is Gogh, in her fabulous, sleek, grey rat form, still favoring her injured foreleg as she intones <<Tell me!">> she squeaks <<Tell me of your travals and travails, and who you bring as Champion!">>

Speeding back on his modified vespa moped, Harvey rolls into the village with his Champion in his pocket. The moped comes to a stop and the Engineer gets off, bringing the rat out and holding it aloft with both hands. He then chitters and squeaks out for all to hear, <<"I bring you JK7872SlashBee! The smartest rat on the West Coast! The most clever. The most cunning. The fastest and most daring! He alone beat the obstacle course built by the most Clever of Engineers, defeated flames and explosives and some very angry warfrats!">>

<<Assembled rats! Van Go Quickly!>> Perfection is holding homid for now, squeaking with some difficulty, holding up the now manifest golden-glowing fat rat. <<"I present Fat Rat of Fortune, who is fertile and fecund, who is prosperous and prettiful. His loins will spill forth a bounty that will bless your child with many years of luck. He holds in him the very nature of our species' abundance, in all ways. He will be the perfect father and champion!">> She promises!

<<And I am willing to stand for that.>>. She, of course, came back the same way she left, through a nice hole in the gauntlet near a broken window where the shards are big enough and the surface behind them dark enoug for a proper reflection.

Gogh chitters, and nods, studying each in turn. She nods solumnly, sniffing and considering - even in this form, she clutches the tiny dagger! <<You have both done well! Both are fine examples of Momma's benevolence to us, and both are right and proper. However, in all things - we strive, we struggle!>> She nods to the Arena, bruxing intensely, her eyes boggling as she does, popping with every grind of her incisors <<This is a place of danger and of reward. Your champions will enter - but they will decide who will win the right to mate!>> She grinds her incisors ever more strongly, excited

Will speed, intelligence and cunning win out over Golden Championship?! That is the question! Nerds vs Jocks! Harvey moves up to the pit and lifts the rat up, <<JK7872SlashBee! I know you will do great! Use your speed! Use your Cunning! Use your Intelligence! You will prevail and your seed will help spawn the next generation!>> he then lowers his hands and finally drops the rat into the pit. The Fat Rat is too dignified to be Dropped, so Perfection merely sets him down, and assures. <<You gots this.>>

Each entrant to the Pit is met with a screech of approval from the assembled ratties! Claws are shivered! Teeth are ground! It is the Event of the Hour!

The Fat Rat raises his head and twitches his Whiskers regarding his earthly kin, sniffling around. He steps forward on glowing golden feet, his tail thick and lashing, and carries his rice in both hands, offering out a piece in friendship to his opponent. Presumably, a series of unfortunate events are about to ensue.

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Perfection rolls 8 vs 6 for 0 successes.
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<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Harvey rolls 4 (4 dice) vs 6 for 1 successes.
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JK7872SlashBee lands easily on his four paws. He stops, taking a look around. Taking stock of the area. What he has to work with. Then he peers over at the golden one. Ooh, big one. Gold. Very gold. And it is carrying rice. But.. rice? Rice. Friendship? Friendship. The Labrat lets out a quick squeak to this as he leaps up on to a rock and grabs one of the spikey things. He pulls it free and hurls it at the Golden Rat! There is no friendship in love and war! All is allowed! So says the Laws of Procreation!

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Perfection rolls 8 vs 6 for 3 successes.
<-------------=============++++++++++++++++++++++++=============------------->

The Fat Rat lets out a squeak, barely dodging the spiky thing! But it is a creature of Wyld and Umbra; of growth, and as the rice corns scatter, they dig into the ground and start growing stalks, constraining the area around SlashBee, as the Fat Rat circles, looking for his opening.

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Harvey rolls 4 (4 dice) vs 6 for 4 successes.
<-------------=============++++++++++++++++++++++++=============------------->

JK7872SlashBee is crafty, though. When the stalks shoot up out of the ground, the rat suddenly leaps from the high vantage point and grabs on to the stalks. He uses them as poles, of sorts, swinging around and over. He moves fast, he moves quick! Its like a chess game! But who will come out on top! Seeing his opening, the labrat suddenly flings up into the air, letting out a chittering noise as he then lands on the back of the golden ran! A nip in the neck, then a leap away from him!

The Fat Rat is ponderous and slow, and spirit-flesh manifested can take a nip as well as any other flesh. There's an angered squeak and a rake of claws, an attempt to bite back and a roll of. Well. With the many stalks there are only so many paths left. Run for your life, SlashBee Jones, or the Golden Ball of Rolling Doom will get you!

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Perfection rolls 8 vs 6 for 4 successes.
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<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Harvey rolls 4 (4 dice) vs 6 for 2 successes.
<-------------=============++++++++++++++++++++++++=============------------->

Unfortunately, even in Chess you can sometimes calculate wrong. And when JK7872SlashBee once more lands upon the ground, he realises he landed in the wrong spot. He lands right in the middle of the cornstalks, obstructing his vision and where he can move! Realising his mistake, he tries to go for one of the stalks to scramble up one of them quickly!

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Perfection rolls 8 vs 6 for 4 successes.
<-------------=============++++++++++++++++++++++++=============------------->

For now, SlashBee has avoided the Golden Rolling Furball of DOOM! But there is one problem about rice stalks... They bend. They bend. And they break, and more and more of them are shaking and bending, knocking together as the Furious Fat Rat of Fortune spins about on the ground in a frenzy of activity, trying to flatten his competition!

<---======##====================[ Dice Roll ]=====================##======--->
Harvey rolls 4 (4 dice) vs 6 for 1 successes.
<-------------=============++++++++++++++++++++++++=============------------->

The stalk that JK7872SlashBee tries to climb is one of those. He has already weakened it before, when swinging around on it. So he gets about half way up before the thing snaps and the rat lets out a SQUEAK as he falls back on to the ground. He lands on his paws, but by now the Golden Rat is on him! He has nowhere to go! His chess game is running out!

When you're being beaten in chess, the winning move is to flip the table, and then eat one of the pieces. Metaphorically speaking. Sometimes literally. SlashBee runs not only out of chess, but out of space, and there's a triumphant squeal as the ROLLING GOLDEN FAT RAT OF DOOM unfurls, trapping him, biting SlashBee's neck, demanding an honourable surrender. Once he has it, he rises, to gain the accolades of the people as he washes his face, and then moves with a dignified gait to court his mate, the lovely Van Go Quickly.

It is the end, my Friend! JK7872SlashBee has lost and, being the intelligent little creature that he is, he ops out to surrender as the option is given to him. He needs to live for his Colony, after all! Rat-tled and shaken, the labrat scurries off and is eventually plucked out of the pit by Harvey. But nothing is said about the loss. All honor is given to the Victor!

There is a squeak and roar and chittering of success! Of appreciation! SlashBee is applauded and crowded around for an assurance of a good show, and chitterings of FUTURE attempts. And some sly mutterings from other kinfolk who are VERY interested in one who put up such a display against a Golden Fat Rat! But it is the Golden Rat of Fortune who receives Gogh's paw. She wriggles her ears enticingly. She wiggles them again. This is, in fact, rodent courtship. There is a touching of noses, before Gogh is unceremoniously grabbed by the scruff of the neck and mounted. Unf, unf, unf, goes the Golden Rat of Fortune. Unf. Unf. Unf.