2018.12.10: Orrery Adventures: Eshtarra
| Adventures in Orrery Making: Eshtarra (pt.1) | |
|---|---|
| A journey to Eshtarra's Glade to pay respects and request a pure stone. | |
| IC Date | December |
| IC Time | Afternoon |
| Players | Pancake Branton Isla Jes |
| Location | Antarctica |
| Prp/Tp | Adventures in Orrery Making: Eshtarra (pt.1) |
| Spheres | Gaian Garou |
This brisk December evening has our heroes meeting up! Probably over by the Devil's Own land, cause they have a nice, private spot in the middle of nowhere. Iris has sent out a call saying she needs some help for 'that trip we talked about' and signs say it's time to jump on that. Let's meet up for preparation and get this road show goin!
Iris arrives on foot, bent forward and loaded down under this huuuuuuuuge fuck-off enormous bundle, she might be packing a bear around on her back, or possibly just a shit ton of furs. "OH GAIA IT'S SO HEAVY!" she wails the instant she sees people. That is the perfect time to decide to no longer have knees! One minute she's walking and wailing, and then next there's just a bigass bundle with a couple unshaven legs sticking out from under it.
On closer inspection, the bundle is not a bear, it IS fur, but it's a shit ton of super thick clothing made of furs and hides.
Isla has a smirk on her face, her own gear bundled up in a smaller pack. "Watcha got there, Goop Mistress? I've seen plenty 'o bears in my time, an' that sure as shit looks like yer tryin' to impersonate one!" She giggles, "Do ya need some help there?"
Jes is chilling outside of the pack lodge, smoking a Nat Sherman and drinking an energy drink, just... watching Iris lug around a mountain of dead animal hair. When it becomes a pile with some Sasquatch feet underneath, he calls out, "You got that, Goop Mistress?" making zero move to help. At all.
Branton has his big frame pack for hiking and a bunch of cold weather gear and the assorted bits and bobs of his other gear of his own and sets down a duffle bag heavily, he smiles and nods at the assembled garou "Evenin."
Iris's feet kick and there's a few muffled noises from where she's totally dying under the pile. Her squirming and scooting eventually allows her to scooch her way to the edge, lift and roll and then get out. Dirty, as usual, she stands up and announces, "You all SUCK!" And then she stabs at finger at Jes and narrows her eyes at the Ragabash, "And *you*. You have to wear the *yak*." HUFF!
She gets over it in about five seconds though, and starts getting the hugeass bundle unfastened and opened up. "Gather 'round! I mail ordered around to some northern septs for some loaner gear for cold weather. Gear up, make sure everything fits! Everyone got a few days worth of gear? And food. We need food." She thrusts a yak fur jacket at Jes. It smells of yak. Everything else smells fine, but you cant wash out yak.
Isla is right there and going through the pile. "Aye, Sprinkles does suck." She doesn't make anymore mention of that. "This is awesome. We got some food ready and packed to go. Although Yakboy over there cannot live without his energy drinks, so he'll be bring em' them himself." She finds some furs and gets it all together so she is covered, it fits, and she looks rather sylish with her flaming red curls tumbling around the furs.
Jes takes the jacket, looking at it for a long moment, and then his cigarette tip rises. "Wait... we're going? We're /going/?" He smiles, bouncing on his toes, and says, "Yes! Fucking /yes/! Oh shit oh shit oh shit I'll be right back!" He drops the jacket, running toward the house and stripping off clothes as he goes so that he's in his shirt and boxers by the time he hits the door and stubs out his cigarette. He's gone for several minutes, but then emerges from the lodge... in a tuxedo.
Oh yes; oh /yes/, he is. It is a stylish, tailored black Calvin Klein tux and vest with a green bowtie and pocket square, accented with extra-durable boots and polarized sunglasses, and he struts out with a pre-packed duffel bag and hiking pack, lugging them out and setting them before him. "Fuck it, I am /so ready/," he declares, picking up the yak-et and slinging it over his tux. "I am gonna be Pimp Daddy Penguin like a motherfucker."
Down at the bottom of the furs is a few bundles of firewood. Not a ton by arctic standards, but a decent bit with each of them packing one along. Iris tugs on pants made of beaver (HA!) and some big thick fur covered boots. "It's times like this I wish I was allowed to wear a sweater." she mutters, not going for any top coverings except a big fur hat. With Jes freaking out, she watches him run back to the home while remarking, "I like his enthusiasm!" And then there's a laugh when he returns. "I swear I saw a thing once where a robot in a tuxedo thought it was a penguin...
She turns to Branton and asks, "Are you going to be okay? I mean not that I doubt your abilities or anything but I'm gonna feel so fucking bad if you... melt. Or whatever happens to fire when it gets super cold.
And lastly to Isla, "Your pack grounds and everything are okay and gonna be seen to while we're gone? And does *anyone* have *anything* they definitely have to do before we go? Because once we take off, that's it, we're gonna be way too far away to do anything and there wont even be cell signal."
Branton laughs out loud at Jes as he dons his yak fur top coat "That's amazing. I've got some MREs and jerky and stuff. A bunch of low weight, high calorie snacks. I figured we'd be melting snow for water and I've got some purification tablets just in case." Then to Iris "I've got that belt buckle of cold resistance I made for our trip into space. I'm a little worried about re-charging my mana, so I bottled some."
Isla just rolls her eyes and laughs. "Sprinkles, ye are one of a kind. Fucking hell." She has on boots, thick leggings, a wool skirt with fur lining, a heavy duty thick sweater, a fur coat, and finds some sort of furry hat to tie around her head, since wearing a hat might be impossible with as much of a mane as she has. She nods then to Branton, "Aye, it will all be good. We got kin to take care of things, and my brothers are comin' by to patrol. It's all good."
"Guns... ammo... drinks... booze... cigarettes... extra clothes... extra thermals...," Jes says as he goes through his stuff, running through a checklist. "Food... more food... water... more food... fire stuff... tent... sleep roll... energy shots... survival kit... ice axe... world band... flares... more booze...." He's listening, but he's checking his gear, making sure everything is packed tightly and findably. He catches Branton's comment and tosses out a jug of water, setting it aside, and continues. "Snowshoes, climbing gear... rope... duct tape... toothbrush... superglue... damn straight I am, Peach. I'm gonna James Bond the fuck out of this adventure and leave a bowtie at the South fucking Pole."
Iris nods and picks up her own pack. She's not bringing the Bigass Purse on this one, and instead brings a Biggerasser Hide Bag (inside of which is her purse). She gets that slung on where it can rest on her stomach, and once everyone has all their gear together, she says, "Okay, everyone touch the Theurge!" and stretches out her arms so she can get felt up and transport everyone to the umbra. Sure, the garou could have done it fine on their own, but Iris doing it connects Isla, Jes, and Branton to her with a silvery thread.
She cracks open a water skin and has a chug to replenish the gnosis spent on transport, and then says, "Okay, pre-flight safety precautions: Do not struggle, you're going to be fine, no matter how terrifying things look. Do not look down, or if you do please try to avoid vomiting on anyone's feet. At the end, please don't freak out. These threads are your lifelines, and without them you're not with me or in the umbra, and you'll probably die. So just, you know. Stay calm."
Assuming everyone's kosher, Iris floomph's out a hugeass pair of white wings and shoves off the ground with some hard flapping and leg work. The threads keep the three right by her and dangling like wind chimes, the only real work is avoiding getting slapped in the head by feathers while she gains altitude and speed.
Branton nods at Jes' list and grins at his punctuation "That's awesome." and he nods to Iris and does as he's told. He grins broadly and keeps his eyes ahead, letting out a "Whooop!" of excitement.
Jes gets up and close and listens to the pre-flight safety precautions, reaching out to grab a dreadlock and Isla's hand before singing in a fine tenor, "Do you wanna build a snow-maaan?", but then they are MOTHERFUCKING FLYING, and he lets out a hearty, "CHEEEE-HOOOO!".
Isla grins and is so ready for this. "Aye, let's go! Cannae wait!" And with that, she takes a hold of the Theurge, looking over to Jes, and then they are off! They begin to fly and she squeezes Jes' hand. "C'mon, let's go and play! YEAAAHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!"
For those unaware, flying is hard work. The wings might be a fetish, but they're still functionally her own appendages that she's effectively weight lifting with. There's lots of gritted teeth and a little bit of sweating while steadfastly looking up ahead at the clouds. The rest of the pack has it easy, all they need to do is dangle! At first it's probably awesome, but after a while of going straight up into the air, it's hard to see the difference and it drops down to ho-hum for a few minutes. It's hard to tell how fast they're going and distance seems much less obvious in either direction.
Reaching the clouds seems almost abrupt, the group flying through clear air and then suddenly they're enveloped in a pea soup thick fog that sparks in orange and blue in places and whirls with the passage of air elementals. Breaking through the clouds is just as sudden, leaving a spray of mist in their wake and nothing but infinite blackness and sparkling stars above. Iris seems relieved as some of the strain of gravity lets go, amd she keeps heading straight upwards, away from the planet and towards the unreasonably large looking moon.
When she stops finally, spreading her wings and sloooooowly arcing around to face the earth again, she asks, "Okay, someone help me find the bottom of the planet."
"Is it 'down'?" Jes offers unhelpfully, still holding hands with Isla and looking around to orient himself, but... nope, nope, nuthin'. "Honestly, I have no idea where the fuck we are, so I'm just gonna shut up and be a goddamn tourist."
Branton blinks to clear his eyes and has a look around, a little confused as he floats there "The bottom of the what now? Oh! Right." and he peers down at the globe and looks for familiar coastlines "I'm pretty sure that's south america."
Isla is just unsure what they really did, but fuck this is awesome. "I'd agree wit that. Down that'a way!" She would point, but that would mean letting go of something, or someone, and she ain't doing that. "It definitely ain't up here." She doesn't have much more she can offer.
It is, by the way, rather cold in space. Not quite the freeze/boil of space in the physical world, but these furs sure as shit do come in handy up here. And for those not concerned with finding the bottom of the planet, observe this! [Overview Effect]
Iris squints while eyeing where Branton and Isla seem to be looking, "Ah ha, yep, yep it is, there's Chile and Argentina right there. Okay, hang on.." A mighty flap gets their weightless asses moving again and angling the right way. If going upwards had its dry moments, going downwards does not. Going with the flow of gravity has them shooting much faster towards the planet, and there's never a moment where it doesn't *definitely* look like something hard is rushing towards them. The group blasts through the cloud cover like a rocket, and as soon as they enter the atmosphere again, Iris bursts into flames because she's fucking freezing right now. It's all for warmth but it looks awesome, all covered in low blue flames with feathers of orange, pink and yellow flickering in her back trail. For the danglers behind her, it feels like a space heater.
The pack shoots like a comet across the sky, descending over the Scotia sea and towards a huge, mountainous landscape of white and grey. She DID say not to freak out at the end, and here's why. She never even attempts to slow down, just speeding along like a bullet straight towards the ground until suddenly everyone has their breaks thrown on at once mere feet from the ice covered ground. There's a pause... And then they thud onto the ground.
"Oh, yeah, Tierra del FuegOOOOOH SHIT!" Jes barks out as they start moving again, turning into cackling laughter as the world's craziest rollercoaster hits a deep dive. His adrenaline pumps like a Formula One engine and then they're... they're not stopping. They're not slowing. And that's land. "OH JESUS FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL...?!
...and then they're on the ground.
Branton lets out another whoop and doubles over laughing "Hooooleeeee fuckbals. That shit will never ever ever get old. Meatspace skydiving has nothing on that."
Isla is caterwauling the whole time in a stream of fuck this fuck that, and other things in Scottish that just should not be repeated! Once finally on the ground, still not letting go of Jes' hand, she lays there a second and says, "Are we DEAD?"
"No fucking way we are, Hell is hot," Jes responds to Isla as they lay on the ground, staring up at the sky. He waits for his heart to settle, and then... begins making a snow angel. "Fuck me, we are in goddamn Antarctica," he marvels, grinning broadly and biting the tip of his tongue.
Iris picks herself up in a hurry and, dancing around a bit from the intense cold, fumbles her burning fingers through her pack of stuff as fast as she can to avoid singing. She whips out her shawl and wraps it around herself, while remaining on fire to combat the chill, subsequently beginning to stand in a slowly growing puddle. She gives Branton a grin and a wink before moving to try and help Jes and Isla up, "Not quite! Don't worry, you're fine! I'm an expert pilot, I swear, we landed safely. Did you pee? I had an inner bet with myself that at least one of you was gonna pee a little bit."
Branton laughs and shakes his head, every breath letting out little puffs of steam. He looks around and takes a breath to say something else and starts laughing again "Awesome."
Isla takes Iris' hand and jumps on up. "C'mon Sprinkles, plenty of time for playing when we get all setup. So Goop Mistress, what's the first order of business here?" She may be the Ahroun, and the Alpha of the pack, but this place is /all/ Iris' plans, and she will just be sure the trains get a'movin'.
"No, but I really have to," Jes replies to Iris, pushing up to his feet and... yup, pushing down the front of his tuxedo pants -- they don't have a functional fly, okay? -- and whipping his dick out to immediately begin pissing in the snow. He takes his time, and... oh, fuck, he's drawing a smiley face. With horns. And he's doing it /well/. This is remarkable and revolting.
"I think we need to get meat side first and foremost," Iris says while huddling and burning, "Our presence is going to offend just about every spirit here, and there's a hell of a lot more spirits than wildlife. What we're looking for here is a cave, which I'm pretty sure I saw just past that rise over there while we were coming down. We should get there and get out of the elements, then uh.. Set up a base camp, I suppose. That'll be as far as my half baked ideas can be sure of. .... Shit. Jes now owns Antarctica." Sigh. "You know, this is why we cant have nice things."
Branton catches his breath and straightens up and looks off in the direction of the indicated cave "So the local spirits not sociable? Or because you're garou? Or because I'm practically made of fire as much as meat?"
Isla facepalms as Jes takes a whiz. She nods with Iris, "No shit. Fuck. OK, let's get this show on the road. Do we need to do a cleansing - or have Firemaster here burn up with my crazy Beta just left behind before we go meatside?" She has her gear up on her back and is ready to go whenever. "Basecamp is top priority along with checking spiritually what we need to deal with, then get our plan of action from that spot."
"Says you; I just marked an entire fucking continent as my turf," Jes fires back, having enough fuel left to write his name in the snow -- terribly -- before his bladder is empty and he puts his wang away. He grabs a bit of pure snow, doing a quick rinse of his fingers, then pulls his gloves on and adjusts his sunglasses, putting a cigarette to his lips but not yet lighting it. "Aight, let's do caveman shit."
"Mmmm... Take your pick?" Iris says to Branton, "Even those two, they're warm and this is a place where ice elementals and things like that thrive. Spirits tend to match their environments in personality and behavior, so a place like this that can freeze to death someone whose unequipped in a matter of minutes, the spirits are likely to be much the same. Doesn't mean they're bad guys, they're just, you know, doin their jobs." As for the pee though? Iris shrugs and grins, "We're not dead yet, so it's probably fine."
Slipping through the gauntlet is not at all difficult (Iris just takes the group through with her via the threads) thanks to being basically as far from the weaver's influence as it's possible to get.
The group shimmers into the physical world... and directly into loud chaos! The freezing wind whips wildly past them, instantly turning cheeks and noses red, the rocky/snowy/icy ground around them is COVERED in penguins that are freaking the holy fuck out at the tops of their lungs and waddling in all directions because four dudes just suddenly appeared out of nowhere amidst them.
Branton winces when the wind of the physical world literally slaps him in the face. Branton hurriedly gets his goggles and face cover in place before reaching down to tap his belt buckle, and an aura of flickering white flame similar to Iris' appears. "Now that's cold." he says in a muffled voice.
Isla steps across with the group and as the wind hits her and her hair flies around she's trudging ahead. "Sprinkles! Tell yer peeps here to calm the fuck down, and let's all get inside that cave!" She is pushing ahead towards it, despite being cold and trying to stay with the group and nudge them along.
Jes' cigarette is whipped right out of his mouth, but he catches it with his left hand, putting it right back and gritting his teeth at the bluster. He reaches out and takes Isla's hand, and when the penguins scatter, he says, "Aww, no, stay! I am your king! Don't run! Rejoice in my return!" But nah, they ain't havin' it, so he just trudges toward the cave, hand-in-hand with his Alpha.
Iris attempts to fly but no, that doesn't work, and she gets all of one good flap and a little lift off before she's thrown face first into a small snow drift. She's about GOD DAMNED DONE with cold now! "I swear I would kill for a coat! It's my wings, they get pissed off when I bind or constrict them. Have you ever tried to wear a cardigan backwards and not secure the back? It don't work!" She'd probably be getting frostbite right now if it wasn't for the flames. She and Branton can, at least, melt some obstructions in their way, though!
Penguins, being creatures with zero land grace what so ever, fall all over themselves as they scatter, very slowly, in a loud cacophony of honking, but they're entirely non violent to the group as they make their way further inland and leave those poor creatures wondering what the actual *fuck* just happened.
To make a long story about trudging through the snow short, they group eventually ends up able to see a cave.
You know, that cave that everyone is convinced is hiding UFOs or Nazis, or Nazis with UFOs or whatever. It's mostly just a huge massive hole in the side of a hugeass mountain as far as looks go. The pack aren't the only ones here, as it turns out! There's a tiny little camp out down the slope from the cave. it looks pretty professional and it's got all sorts of fancy antennae and what not, but it's not enormous because you just cant support more than a couple few dudes out here at once.
Branton nods at Iris and is already sort of sketching in his head as he considers options for how something could be constructed to help. The problem having been expressed that triggered his R&D brain. When they get in the cave he looks over at the other camp and frowns slightly "Well. Shit."
Isla sighs, "Ok, we need to get in this cave and keep those ones from figurin' out we are here too." She considers their gear, "Let's get in and away from these creatures out here." Once they get inside, she'll take off her pack, and look to Jes and then the others. "Time to get setup. Branton, yer in charge of fire." That is obvious for sure. She will direct others to help fetch what needs done, and then help Iris with the bigasspack and unload and set things up.
Jes does anything and everything Isla instructs him to do without complaint, pausing only long enough to look for his lighter and then giving up because it's somewhere in his tux under the yak-et and they have shit to do. He does, however, speak to Branton when he's near the man, asking, "Hey, Fry Hard, would you mind?" He points to the end of his cigarette, arching an eyebrow.
Iris douses her flames and signals Branton to do the same, and follows Jes and Isla with sneaking past the camp and towards the cave and inside. It's impossible to tell if they were noticed or not, no one comes running out or anything, but then again, if you just saw three Sasquatch and a half hippie scurry past, would YOU go out there? Prolly not. One day there will be leaked conspiracy videos about yeti in Antarctica on YouTube with grainy video of these guys' hide covered asses zipping by.
Once they're nice and far in there, away from the elements and possible unwanted guests, Iris drops her bag and does the shivery frozen dance while bursting into flames again. She doesn't unpack much, but enough to sit down and be comfortable for a second and figure out step number next while getting warm. As to that, she does her best with shaking hands to try and make wood get into a pile for burning, and does a terrible job of it.
Branton has been helping also and when Jes asks for a light Branton holds up a finger and taps the end of the cigarette and nothing happens. Frowning at his finger Branton will reach to touch the cigarette and try it again, leaving the finger in place until there's an actual wisp of smoke "That was harder than it usually is. I guess we're as far from fire as we can get?"
"Aye, we sure seem to be." Isla is still bundled up and all, but is working up her warmth with moving stuff, and fixing what Iris attempts for the wood pile. Once it is set, and some rocks around it and all, it looks pretty good! "Now, let's get out some food, make sure we have some energy before gettin' anything else setup."
"I thought you were just like ET with that shit," Jes replies with a shrug, moving to help pile the wood /properly/ and obviously not concentrating on the fucking JESUS CHRIST COLD they're experiencing. If he regrets his tuxedo, he isn't saying /shit/; fashion is never a mistake. Neither is scotch; he fishes out a bottle of Glenlivet and opens it fresh, taking a swig and then handing it over to Isla without even asking. "So what they fuck are /they/ doing here, Burning Man and Burning Man Attendee?"
Iris is having her own troubles with fire, mainly due to being chilled to the bone than anything. Isla and Jess probably do a WAY better job moving sticks around. It takes her a minute to try and create a little fire, and she does a pretty poor job of that as well, mostly just getting a nice smoldering going. "Help me out with this." she asks of Branton with a laugh at her issues.
She shrugs her shoulders at Jes and asks, "What, the penguins, or the whoever's at that big tent building thingie?"
Branton nods at Iris and moves over to help get the fire going. He doesn't arrange the fuel or kindling, he leaves that to the experts but once he sees what bits are smoldering he crouches down and holds his hands out like he's warming them. What actually happens is he warms the embers and the fire starts to flicker to life more healthily.
Isla takes the scotch from Jes and just starts drinking it down. She stands back as they finish up and then hands back the more than halfway gone bottle of scotch to Jes. "Aye, I do wonder who those people are."
"No, the fucking yeti out waving a sign around about a mattress sale," Jes replies to Iris with a roll of his eyes -- behind sunglasses, so, you know, not super-effective -- taking a drag on his Nat Sherman and blowing out a cloud of smoke. "Yeah, the fucking Arctic Action Academy outside who are likely to wonder how the fuck we got here without so much as a paddle-boat. The penguins I get; I was /expecting/ penguins. I /demanded/ penguins. I did not demand Ernest fucking Shackleton and his Three Dog Night to be outside like fucking Rene Bellocq snaking Indiana Jones' golden idol." When Isla hands back the bottle, Jes blinks and says, "Peach, seriously, I didn't bring enough for you to get crunk and get buck on the glacier. Fucking pace yourself or you're gonna be drinking melted ice water for the rest of the trip." He holds the bottle out to Iris and Branton, offering it up for grabs while he smokes.
"I have no idea, and I was way too cold to try and sense for anything." Iris says, still shaking and scooting her burning self as close to their teeny fire as she can get. As Jes speaks, she just stares at him, slowly tilting her head to one side and furrowing her brows, his pop culture flying far above her head. Her player laughs a lot, though! She takes that flask though and has a good swig before passing it along to Branton. "We'll get warm, then clean everything up here and move in more, we should be able to get away from anywhere they'd be. Probably. I'm not *super* sure where exactly we're going, just that we needed to start here at the great cave of mount Erebus." And if you're a geography buff you can just stuff it. "HOPEfully those guys aren't gonna be a problem and we can just uh, you know. Wander a bigass cave till we get to wherever it is we're going."
Branton takes a swig also before passing the bottle back to Jes as he looks down at the fire "I can turn the heat up but with how hard I'd have to push I probably wouldn't also be able to hold back on the fuel consumption as well. Probably best to warm up slowly."
Isla rolls her eyes at Jes. "Hey, ye went through what I did and ye know my tolerance level is higher than any of ye'all. I'm good." She moves a bit closer to the fire to warm up some more. "What's done is done wit those others. We push forward, or we hit the fucking cold and check them out. I say we monitor and just move forward at this point. We didn't do nothin' more than be here and surrounded by penguins. We got King Penguin here as it is. I'm just looking forward to what we are going to end up finding here. This is going to be some trip to remember." She agrees with Branton and does not complain one bit about slowly warming, since at least they are warming.
"It's not your tolerance level, it's my reserves," Jes replies to Isla with a scowl, shaking his head. "I did not bring three bottles of Isla Fuel; I brought three bottles of /scotch/. For /four people/." He takes another swig, putting the cap back on the bottle and setting it back in his rucksack, pulling out a Full Throttle and downing the entire can as a chaser. That done, he does what apparently no one else has the good sense to do and shifts to lupus so he's covered in fur from nose to nuts and scoots in close to the fire.
"I hope so." Iris says with a grin with lips that aren't quite so blue any more, scooting over to invade Branton's space and steal some of his heat. "I don't wanna jinx it, but we're hopefully headed towards a meeting with our sacred Mom. If we survive, if we aren't lead astray, if we're accepted in, then you know.. Hopefully we have one seriously rare moment of a lifetime with the Goddess that made us. Fortunately for us, she's got a soft spot for Fianna, and for Galliards. One of you two should announce us when we get to wherever she is, so spend your down time coming up with an epic introduction for us.
Holy shit Jes. Iris stares at the man for a second, and then suddenly blurts, "Oh my goddess! I'm a werewolf!" and shrinks down to lupus as well. Fuck yeah.
Branton sits down close to the fire, not quite in it but damn close. Not everyone can manage a built in fur coat but between his internal furnace and the campfire it gets so things aren't too uncomfortable.
Isla gives Jes a look .. not pleased at his words. Taking off her furs, she makes a nice little bed for herself, back down to dedicated clothes, and shifts to lupus herself, and curls up on the other side of the fire from Jes. She moves around in a small circle, and then curls up to soak in the heat. She listens to everything Iris says about the plans and notes it in her brain.
You know what people don't think about when shapeshifting? Cigarettes. You know what's fucking rad as hell? A wolf smoking a cigarette. And that is exactly what Jes is at the moment, curled up by the fire and warming his fur with a yak-et over him and a Nat Sherman in his jaws, puffing away like a laboratory monkey. If Isla's got a sore ass about guzzling half a bottle of good scotch within minutes of arriving, well, fuck it; that doesn't make him /wrong/. Carefully keeping his cigarette in his mouth, he asks in Garou, << Next steps? >>
"That's where things get sort of vague." Iris admits, looking as embarrassed as a wolf can about light intel. "First step, we need to head in follow signs of life. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but there's probably some sort of physical or spiritual clue to keep us on the right track if the path forks. Since this is Gaia we're talking about, we can assume that more life means we're getting close and we're on the right track. That being said, I don't think life is limited to plants so we'll wanna be on our toes. We'll know we're in the right spot when Her pack challenges our presence. We can jog on when everyone's warm and fed and uh.. Hopefully not die in a cave a bazillion miles from nowhere."
Isla chuffs >>I am ready whenever to go. I could use a walk and to get something done. << All business it seems now. >> We keep up our detection for everything and see what is what. Be ready for a challenge. I have no doubt Death's Jester will be ready to help announce us. <<
Branton listens and nods, having gotten the lessons he needs to understand wolf speech. Listening carefully to what the garou plan and decide "I'm really looking forward to it."
Once they've warmed up, had a MRE or something and their little fire's burned out, it's time to hit the road! Getting packed up again, clothed up in furs, and doing away with as much evidence of their presence as possible, the pair push onward, heading deeper into Nazi UFO cave.
They're well into it with making some idle chatter when they spot light ahead. A little closer, it does not appear to be natural light and Iris extinguishes her flames.
Even closer, and at the limit of when stealth roll start needing to be made, the group can tell that it's flood lights running on battery packs set up right about the middle of the cave. They're pointing at an ice wall where two dudes are doing science guy stuff of some sort.
Jes examines his pack, his duffel, his jacket, and all the other non-dedicated stuff that isn't his tux -- yes, /that/ is dedicated to him -- and mutters a very quiet "Fuck" to himself, realizing how un-stealthy he is and how shifting to lupus leaves a super-obvious trail of evidence behind him. He looks aside at Isla, quirking an eyebrow, and then concentrates in trying to figure out a way out of this.
Isla does not look happy with this development. She may have been a step or more away from Jes before, but now, she moves up right next to him and communicates between their link now. Business just picked up. They need a plan, and well, Jes is one slick talking, smart ass, motherfucker if there ever was one. This may just be his show right now.
Branton looks over at the scientists and mouths a silent 'what the fuck' and looks between the assorted garou and considers what they might do. Swallowing a bit he looks back to the scientists and remembers that straight up murder isn't off the table, even if death at the gate of life might take a bit of spin to sell.
Iris too looks towards Jes when he seems to have that Planning look, and Isla's stance by him seems to show support. She looks from them, to the dudes up there, to Branton, to them again... She cant communicate telepathically but her shrug and nod towards the science guys sort of seems to say, 'do whatever you have planned, at worst case, it turns out we're werewolves, apparently.'
Jes gives Isla another quick look, arching that eyebrow, and then waggles his, putting another cigarette to his lips and this time fishing out his Zippo and lighting it. "We're not here to fuck spiders," he murmurs, pulling out his ice axe and the half-empty bottle of scotch before signaling everyone to hang back. He's got this.
The Ragabash strides out toward the other scientists, and when he's far enough from his team that he won't draw attention to /them/ but near enough that he's not /suddenly there/, he yells out, "Hey, hey, HEY! Knock that shit off /right now/, you bastards! I don't know what fucking bass-ackwards bureaucratic fatass granted your research license, but the motherfucking /Pentagon/ granted mine, so unless you're fucking a Senator when your dick isn't an icicle it's time to pack up your shit and wait for the motherfucking /ferry/ to cart you home!"
Isla keeps back with the others, a smirk on her face, biting now on her tongue to keep from laughing as Jes does /his thing/. This is going to be one strange night, and if he pulls this off, he will be a motherfucking genius.
Branton balls up his gloved fist and stuffs it in his mouth and bites. Trying not to laugh out loud but his sides are /heaving/.
The sudden barking voice of Jes startles the absolute *shit* out of those two guys, who have no reasonable expectation of being interrupted by another living person! One of them yelps and jumps, one of them had a little fart squeaked out of them, but both are standing there looking at Jess with their shocked mouths open. :o
It takes a minute before one of the shocked pair can speak, and when he does it's with a very strong accent and moderate english."W-w-what? I...? What?" He just cant even right now with this guy, and professional or not, his brain is just misfiring at this whole unexpected affair.
The other one manages some shocked indignance, "You can not do zis! Ve haff grants!" followed by some rappid something or another in another language.
"I'm sure you do, but under Article 7 of the Antarctic Treaty, subsection 14, paragraph five subsequent to Article 8, subsection 62, paragraphs one and two, you are operating in Antarctic territory currently under the stewardship of the United Goddamn States of America, so when Elon Musk donates a dump truk filled with krugerrands to President Donald Fucking Trump and asks for a private goddamn tour of Agartha so he can be the first billionaire to fuck an Antarctic glacier, then the C-I-motherfucking-A sends out Deputy Director Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-Here and his crew to ready a goddamn campsite, and there had /better not/ be any goddamn four-eyed squatters there trying to determine whether or not there are ancient microbacteria frozen in here that they can name after their goddamn kids!" Jes is a hurricane of verbiage and gestures, waving his ice axe around and pointing at them with his bottle of scotch, spewing a tirade of vitriol and bullshit.
"So you had best clear out your fucking podunk research clubhouse and act like you were never here in the first place, because President Trump couldn't give a runny shit about your scientific discoveries, but he sure as fuck loves campaign donations and celebrity endorsements. So hop-motherfucking-to and move your asses like the Abominable Snowman is your horny cellmate!"
The scientists just STARE at Jes, their eyes huge and their mouths still open as the Ragabash goes on like a jacked up stereotype of patriotic mother fucking gusto. MURICA! Frankly? ...They cant really find a reason to disbelieve him, even without talking to each other they're sure he's speaking truth. More or less, at any rate, surely. Also, Jes is scary. Not in a rage way, but in a faced by THAT character where no one can hear them scream sort of way. One of them begins pushing the other towards the mouth of the cave off in the distance, but that guy doesn't need a lot of prodding really. Still, he's pissed, and yells the entire way, turning to yell back over his shoulder at Jes several times. It's all in his native language though, but he's definitely bitching about american dogs (funny enough). The pack has time and space to hide from them as they pass, and eventually when they're gone, Iris loses her shit and laughs hysterically into her cold hands.
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to David Hasselhoff," Jes shouts as he shoos them out, all bluff and bluster while he ushers them toward the cave entrance. "Der Kommisar's in town, oh-uh-oh! Watch out for fucking gingerbread houses, and get the fuck away or the Krampus is coming for you! I am serious as a fucking Dresden firebombing, and I am packing two of the only five firearms proven to be on the entire fucking continent!"
The Ragabash shoos them out, shoo shoo shoo, and when he meets up with his team, he smirks, puffing on his cigarette, and says, "Okay, cave's ours."
Branton follows Iris' sterling example and laughs into his hands, still not being super loud though. When Jes comes back he's wheezing and catching his breath and gives a slow clap "And he nails the dismount."
"That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" Iris says, coming out from behind a boulder or something with her shawl pulled as tight as her tattoo will allow. "You, sir, have definitely earned that tux you're wearing." The sad thing is, with the way things are going lately, finding out this was all a farce will probably take ages and people will probably take it seriously for quite a while.
Isla has just this look in her eyes for Jes. Yeah, that's her Beta. He may piss her off and she will deck him from time to time, but fuck yeah he is hers. "Good job, Jes. Bull's Eye." She moves on past him, a simple pat on his shoulder, and she heads past and into the cave further a few steps, waiting for the rest of the crew.
Jes shrugs, smiling in amusement, and takes another pull on his scotch before tucking the bottle into his pocket and putting away his ice axe so that the only thing occupying him is a well-deserved cigarette. "Just another day in the life," he comments cheerfully, picking up his pack and duffel and heading back down to where a Deputy Director was previously standing. "I pity whoever has to deal with that paperwork at the UN. This shit's so going on a conspiracy website."
The flood lights remain - probably to eventually run out of juice and just sit there till this whole thing is taken care of - shining their light on a big ice wall of the cave. A bit of dull metal protrudes from the ice, the smooth rim of something very large, a bit of shadowing inside the solid ice speaking to a very large disk-like shape. With the threat out of the way, there's just cave, onwards into the mountain.
Branton is going to go over and take a peer at the metal in the wall, because after fire that's his favorite element. He doesn't touch anything, just grinning at Jes and going over to get a closer look.
Isla does a perfunctory search of the place. She is just all business right now. "I do not want to stay in this section any longer than we need to. Check for anything useful, and let's move on." No time to celebrate a victory, even one that was as epically good as it was. There were mortals about, and they could come back.
"So... UFO or Titan Frisbee?" Jes asks when he looks at the protruding metal, tilting his head to the side and trying to get an idea of what he's looking at. Isla's word is law, however, so he starts looking around and asks, "Do we want this battery? It's heavy, but... I mean... no, we don't want this battery." He shrugs, moving right along, but casting another glance at that freezing saucer.
The Theurge is less shocked by a possible UFO in the wall, and instead latches on to the other thing, falling in with Isla to continue on and commenting, "It's *weird*, isn't it? I mean, you cant go anywhere without running into people."
Branton shrugs at Jes "Not sure, interesting to think about though." and he turns to follow where the ladies lead. Nodding to Iris "I know right? I'm just glad they understood English. How many languages do you speak Jes?"
Isla sees this metal thing.. UFO.. "That thing is above our paygrade. Unless who ye are seeking wants us to deal with that, Goop Mistress, we best be going."
"Man, I barely speak /English/," Jes replies with a shrug, palling along with Branton and inhaling deep lungfuls of smoke to fight cold with carcinoma. "I've got these Rosetta Stone downloads I listen to sometimes, but then I fall asleep and just wake up wanting to call a couch a 'chang yi' and not knowing /why/." They fall into line after the ladies, trudging along into the cave network, and Jes just smoke smoke smokes that cigarette.
Iris snorts a laugh at Jes, and nods her agreement to Branton. "So, where you guys from, anyways?" she asks, looking towards the Fianna pair, "I cant remember if I've ever asked that before or if you told me at some point."
Isla pipes up as they walk along, "I'm from DunBroch, Scotland. Absolutely gorgeous lush place with cliffs and greenery and waterfalls, and so much fucking trees. I swear, I dinnae think there is a tree I haven't pierced wit my arrows once. My father set up for me to come out here for my rite of passage, since our pack lands could be in the deal from a family friend. If I passed it would be my own adventure."
Branton grins and nods at Jes as they follow along "I used one of those to learn modern greek. A lot of the Library at my place had languages I had to work out other sources for. You want to learn how to cus in Classical Greek?"
"Yeah, she's like a fucking fairytale princess," Jes comments at Isla's story, smirking around his cigarette and following along. "But with Guy Ritchie dialogue. Me, I'm from... America? Like, my family, we're Travelers, right? I was born at a rest stop in Colorado, I think. I grew up in a fucking caravan. So I guess the answer to where I'm from is 'a motorhome'. But after my Rite of Passage and seeing Isla's excellently-proportioned ass, I figured, that's a sight I can follow for the rest of my life, so... California's home now. So it goes." He takes another drag on his cigarette, then replies, "How about you two? I mean, I figure Goop Mistress must've been born in a commune, and I'm figuring Jean Luc Picante sprung fully-formed out of a campfire. And yes, yes I very much want to learn how to cuss in Classical Greek."
Iris gives Isla a look that's way too serious to be serious, "So, you just run around shooting helpless trees, huh?" She's unable to keep a straight face though, and breaks into a joking grin afer just a moment. She nods to Jes though and gestures at Branton's offer, "Hilarious shit when translated to modern english."
"I originally came from a little kinfolk island near Greece, then I moved to a Pentex cell for a while, and then I moved to a sept in Maine to recover, and then I ended up here!"
Branton considers the question "Not sure originally, moved around a lot till my dad wrapped himself and his car around a tree. Then his parents took me in and I lived in Nevada for a while. Found out recently that a lot of what he fed me about who my mom was and where we were really from was more than a little bullshit. Only known I was kinfolk for just over a year, the Sight and the setting things on fire goes back a lot further than that."
Isla rolls her eyes, "Ach, we already fucking swear enough, but what the fucking hell, why the fuck not." One look to Jes and she says, "And dinnae ye fucking forget it, Sprinkles." She blows a kiss to him and laughs. The Iris tells her story glossing over it a bit and she just stops and looks at her. "A FUCKING PENTEX CELL? Please tell me who ever stuck ye in there got shredded and burned fer it all. Or else we get done here, and I'll fucking do it myself with my bare hands." No one messes with her friends. Even if it was years ago. She doesn't forget Branton and adds, "Good we got ye back in the Nation."
"Okay, 'Pentex cell'? We are circling back to that -- trust me -- but I wanna get the other shit out of the way first," Jes states clearly, taking a deep drag off his cigarette and blowing a smoke ring. "MaHOTma Gandhi first. You really only got back in touch with your roots that recently? Man... I mean, I grew up Garou. Like with a Garou grandma and shit. Must've been a fucking trip, coming on top of being the Human Torch. Like, 'oh, by the way, dude who can spontaneously combust, you're also descended from fucking werewolves'. Man, /cartoons/ don't have plot reveals like that."
"As far as I know, yeah." Iris says with a nod to Isla, "I got out during a major raid on the place and the sept that ran the operation took me in. I'm pretty well fine these days, I've had a lot of time to heal." She's still vague about things, and seems totally fine with it getting passed in favor of Branton's history.
Branton grins broadly at Jes and goes into the story, excited because its still one of the coolest things that ever happened to him "It gets even better. It was because I accidentally interrupted a black spiral that was sneaking up on the Truthcatcher's place. He tried to eat my face so I cracked the earth and dropped him in a pit. Problem was though, my usual size pit wasn't deep enough since a warform is so damn huge but my armor kept its claws from taking a chunk out of my shin. I got clear of its reach just in time for Alecto in hispo to fucking explode out of the bushes and rip it to shreds. Then I got sniffed and not murdered which was great."
Isla relaxes a bit, "Fuck, respect sister. Getting through all that and still being this put together.. fuck." Though hearing Branton's story she grins. "Good fer ye! Sounds like yer Truthcatcher is awesome. Might want to meet her one day."
"Hot damn, dude, that is a /trip/," Jes replies to Branton with a laugh, shaking his head. "Man, that had to be like five kinds of weird all around. That's some charmed existence you have, Wicker Man. I think I would have come out of that with a serious drinking problem. Err... /more/ serious drinking problem." He shrugs, marching along two by two like the ants in the song.
"So, hey, not to bring up massive traumatic memories or anything, Goopy Goldberg, but how the fuck did you land in a Pentex prison?"
Iris grins at Branton, "Yeah I feel like that would be some serious weird shit!" When pressed about her own details though, she shrugs a bit uncomfortably and says, "I was a kid when that happened, the Wyrm raided our island and kill and stole a bunch of people. I dunno details because I was in a box the whole time, but somehow or another we ended up going from being on a ship to being at some bigass building. We got split up in different groups, I ended up in one department and stayed there for pretty much the whole time. Then like a decade later or something this sept forms up a strong enough strike force and deals with the place, and during that me and my group got free. After some uh, miscommunications and accidents, the ones of us that got out ended up going home with then. Lots and lots and lots of cleansing and healing and therapy happened for some years, and I at least got back on my feet and kinda gave in to finding my calling."
Isla asks Iris, "So what is yer calling exactly? We've only experienced so much with ye, and I've got to say, so far we're sold. Yer too fucking much fun not to follow around on adventures."
"Seconded!" calls Jes from the back seat, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I mean, /our/ mandate is simple; we do the raddest possible shit we can. Weasel says 'show no fear', so we dive right the fuck into adventures and never look back. When you proposed this trip, we had /zero/ reservations. I cannot /wait/ to see what kind of crazy shit you come up with next."
"I guess you could say that's basically my calling?" Iris hazards with a gesture at Jes's explanation of their pack's mandate. "I just.. You know, I spent so much of my life in box and having a lot of the opposite of fun. I don't want to come out of the box floundering and off kilter, I want to burst out of the box and fly and see everything I can. Not in that Corax sort of way, but because I like studying weird shit, and yeah, like half of it is *super* weird. Do you have any idea how *many* worlds there are? On this planet alone? And this isn't even the only planet! I just wanna get to know it and understand it, and that usually involves some really messed up journeys, this far. Right now my checklist involves getting to each of the planets so that I can get a stone from them. First stop is, of course, Earth."
Isla grins, "HELL YES! All we want to do is fucking everything, everywhere. Being stuck in one way of life, without choices. Fuck, they tried to mate me off and I fucking had my first change inside of that shit. Let's go. Everywhere, in and around Earth, to Pluto, or wherever the hell ye want to go. Together, we can be this AWESOME unstoppable team."
"Wait, wait," Jes objects, raising a hand and waving his cigarette. "You needed a stone from Earth, so we came to /Antarctica/? Don't get me wrong, this is fucking gigantic tits awesome, but... you know we were on Earth before we took off, right? We have rocks at home."
So as not to seem a sudden stick in the mud, Jes immediately offers, "So... we getting rocks from the Umbra, too?"
"No no no, I need a very special stone given by the lady of the realm herself." Iris clarifies, "One that's pure and touched by her alone, freely given for the purpose it's being put to. It seems like a lot of effort, but the result will totally be worth it."
"Aye, then we best get to it. Got a lot of territory to get to." Isla says. "Should we find a place to bunk fer the night soon?"
"Yeah that sounds like a plan, my shoulders are kinda sore from all that flying and we've probably got a good safe distance from those guys that were looking at that thing." Iris agrees with a nod, and once they do find a decent spot she sets down her stuff and plops down on it tiredly. She donates some of her wood for fire building ala Branton, and sets out a big furry bed roll on the cold ground. Their menu tonight is MREs and hot tea! And liquor. And energy drinks.
