2019.12.06 Rian Stone Cowboys

2019.12.06 Rian Stone Cowboys
The Broadway Knights save a fetish Banjo while undercover in country western drag
IC Date	December 6, 2019
Players	Rian Chayse Jasper Konstantin
Location	San Antonio, Texas
Spheres	Garou Gaian Broadway Knights
Theme Song	Man in Black - Johnny Cash

So it's good times at the ol pack flat. Upstairs on the second floor, Rian can be heard suddenly dropping all of the things with a crash while yelling "AHH WHAT THE FUCK?!" Also, by the by, there's totally a christmas tree up there. It's fake and totally not sentient, don't worry, and it's stuffed underneith with a metric fuck ton of festively wrapped gifts. Now then, who's gonna come rescue the Ahroun? He can be found on the floor in the midst of a bunch of spilled laundry and 'shit to take upstairs', an unusually large (for its species) nightengale sitting on his chest like it'd just cannon balled into him. It's singing up a crazy (and very pretty) storm, which he understands exactly none of because he don't speak no spirit speech!

Jasper can't climb stairs as fast as he can roll himself, but he tries anyhow, taking the steps two at a time, owlish eyes wide with wonder rather than worry at what he might discover has befallen Rian! The rats are with him, dragged along in his hands, out of their carrier, and they don't look happy about the sudden being grabbed. Chayse calls out, at first, figuring that if Rian is too damaged to speak, it's a Big Thing. But he lopes up the steps right along behind Jasper. He blinks around at the sight and furrows his brow. A few blinks later and he remembers himself enough to say ~hey now! What is the meaning of this, Mr. Nightingale?~

Turns the Tables comes climbing UP the fire pole and reaches out and grabs the second level landing. He hangs there a moment, "You all right?" He calls before pulling himself the rest of the way out of the hole. Konstantindoes even

"Stop it! Geroffme!" Rian is saying to the bird on his chest while it tweets furiously at him, trying to bat at the little creature and getting pecked mightily for it. "Oooow!" Birds got sharp beaks! He is NOT getting the ~Help! Help! They got it!~ singing the bird is doing. But oh, thank god people who speak a proper language appear! The nightengale hops off of Rian's chest, flutterboinging towards Chayse and Jasper, ~They got it! They got the music stick! You have to get it back before they learn how to use it!~ Meanwhile, Rian sits up, rubbing at his pecked pecks and hands, "No! That little bird stabbed me like fifty times with its face knife, and I didn't even DO anything to it!" he tells Kostya.

~What is the Music Stick?~ Jasper asks, tilting his head, and not seeming at all bothered by the multiple face stabs that his to-be packmate had recieved. ~Who took it, and where are they?~ He crouches down, observing the bird like someone who had never seen a bird befofe.

Their Theurge has this under control, so Chayse just moves closer to look at Rian's battle scars. He keeps one eye on Jasper and the Murder Bird, however. Kostya pushes himself up to his knees and watches the scene. It doesn't surprise him at all to see Merlin talking to a bird. It probably wouldn't surprise him if Jasper turned INTO a bird. "I bet that's the first time you ever got attacked by a pecker, huh Rian?"

In answer to Jasper's first question, the bird spirit whistles out a pitch perfect beginning riff from 'Dueling Banjos'. ~They went towards the sunrise, in a metal box! They're too fast, and I'm too small, I cant even pick up the Music Stick! But you're Garou, you can take it from them, and I can track them!~ Rian shifts to do away with the miniscule damage, saying, "Awwwww! There's a little hole in my tattoo now!" First world garou problems, now he's gotta fix his tat a teeny bit. He drops to homid and is about to give a witty retort to Kostya... And then closes his mouth. "Well yes, technically."

"Really?" Jasper asks Rian, apparently surprised at this information, before his mismatched eyes turn back to the bird. He gets his phone from his pocket, and taps at it, producing images of wind instruments, and images of drumsticks, and images of conductors' batons. ~Which does it look like?~

Chayse just rubs the bridge of his nose and tries not to laugh at the situation. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches Jasper ace the bird talk. He turns to Kostya and Rian and translates, loosely, "the bird says some people have, like, grabbed a music stick or somesuch... That he needs our help to get it back before they figure out how to use it? That the went off towards the East, and he can track them if we can get it back. Jasper's trying to figure out tha fuck a music stick is."

"Sounds like it's a banjo to me." Kostya reaches up to his headset and says, "Yo Chorniy, saddle up. Sounds like we got a car chase partner!." Downstairs, the black BMW roars to life and the opening bars of "Chorniy Bumer" begins echoing from the fire pole hole.

"We're going to go rescue a banjo?" Rian asks with confusion, but then wobbles his head with an expression that clearly says 'this is not the weirdest thing we've ever done', and goes with a solid, "Okay." before heading to write a note for Nat (went to rescue a banjo, back soon) and run to grab his needfuls. While he's doing that, the nightengale eyes the phone, head tilting this way and that while images scroll past, eventually pecking the crap out of Jasper's phone when a banjo comes into view. One of many, probably, but the bird just picks the first one that comes up. It dunno nothin about types and styles. Either way, it seems to get the impression that the chase is on, and hops onto Jasper's head. ~They're getting awaaaaaaaaay!~ it wails beautifully.

This is actually the oddest thing Chayse has ever done. But he's getting the shine buffed off of him a lot lately, so why not? He grabs up a backpack with a few odds n ends and heads down to Chorniy. The bird on Jasper's head gives him pause, but he just goes with it.

Kostya leads the charge, "Time to put this pole to good use!" He slides down and as they all get to the car, the doors pop open for them so they can just hop in and they shut behind them when they get seated. "Buckle up! We're going Spirit side and you don't want to get left behind!" The sunroof slides back so the bird (and Jasper) can stick his head through. "Chorniy, give us some banjo hunting music." From the radio, 'Moving Right Along' starts playing (see Discord) and the car lurches forward - RIGHT AT THE GARAGE DOOR! Only as he shoots forward the gauntlet parts and the car and riders all pass through into the Umbra.

Rian takes a back seat with Chayse once their stuff's in, and they make out furiously! Wait no, I mean they do helpful shit like pass out snacks and use Google Maps and stuff. Driving through the umbra is muuuuuuuch more different than driving in the real world. For one thing, traffic is not normal here so basically everything jay walks unless they can see you coming. Spiders all over the god damned road like crabs during migration season, and the road *itself* is sometimes just like, "Nope. Not roading today." But on the bright side, there's no such thing as a speed limit, and there are no spirits set to do traffic law enforcement in the umbra, so even if there IS a little off-roading, it's fiiiiiiine.

The bird navigates as best it can, but combined with it and the backseat drivers and Kostya's own road knowledge, they're kept going the right direction. The prey has a damned good head start though, and this trip... Fuck man, it just *goes*. For hooooours, it feels like, passing shining steel-web towns and a few cities, dodging the occasional rampaging freeway deer, until eventually the nightengale - likely having made a home on Jasper's head by now - tweets excitedly, ~Go there! Go there!~ towards a big steely city off the umbral freeway.

Konstantin points, "Yo! Check it out! A literal fork in the road!"

Jasper is a cyborg in the Umbra. His veins are the green lines of circuits, his blue eye is metallic silver, two of his limbs are a fusion of machine and flesh.Jasper gives the rats and bird some of the passed out snacks, peering out the window as the Umbral landscape zooms by. The steely city has him lamenting, "I want to take pictures," but instead, he just admires the beauty of the place in the distance. ~What are the people who took the music stick like?~

When Chorniy jets off right at the garage door, Chayse manages not to scream like a girl. Mostly. He passes out snacks, but keeps an eye on the roadscape and, really, he /tries/ not to backseat drive... But this is Chayse. He looks over at the steel city, "so this is, what?" He asks, "Can't be LA..." To Jasper he suggests, "Create a fetish camera?"

Whenever Rian OR Chayse tries to backseat drive, Kostya just cranks the music up louder in the back and keeps on driving. No speed limit? Dream come true. "Steely Dan City here we come!"

"You should create a fetish camera!" Rian agrees, "With pictures only we can see or something. We can make a scrapbook of broventures!" The city begins to surround the spirit car as they zoom through, getting into the more complicated street patterns of the area's down-town. There's BEEN signs, but they've either been blank webby constructs or just otherwise unhelpfully marked. Landmarks have the right shape, but the steely and cobwebby nature of the umbral city makes it real hard to tell what they are in the physical world unless you're very familiar with the place already.

The nightengale hops off Jasper's head and onto the dash, chirping and hopping side to side to try and help guide Kostya through the streets. It's not real good at it, but fortunately Kostya has great Wits. AND THEN! because the hell with a bunch of travel RP, they finally arrive at one big, god awful webbed up building. It's old, well established in the umbra, with a large flat place that occasionally glows with ghostly headlight glows (parking lot).

Kostya pulls into the parking lot. "All right. Last stop. Everybody out. We going meatside or staying umbra?" Jasper's already considerably large eyes grow even rounder, as he peers up at the building, still with that quiet bliss. "I will make it," he decides of the camera, "after I create clothes that are alive." To Kostya's question, he says, "I like it here."

Chayse doesn't mean to stare. But just when it seems that Jasper could not get any more curious, he ups the ante. It takes a second for him to stop gawking at the arm that is part machine, and the track of circuits along the back of his neck. When he does pull his attention away from the umbral cyborg, however, he then gawks up at the building. "So... How do we get in /there/?"

"I don't think you should make clothes that are alive," Rian says while climbing out and having a stretch, "Your pants are just going to resent you for farting in them and organize an uprising. There's articals of clothing that should just never rise up, Merlin." As to the case at hand, he eyes the building while the bird flits off towards it to go try and find their prey a bit. "Let's find a quiet spot and cross over, I'm not even sure where 'here' is, and if we've got to find a person then they probably wont be on this side." He heads towards the building, where there's likely to be some kind of little alcove or quiet spot inside where they can double check for witnesses and cross back over. Whatever the place is on the physical side, it's pretty unsecure umbrally. There's spiders as usual, but also other more enigmatic spirits: Waves of orchestral sound, Joy, a bit of Fear.

"Not if I engineer them to live off methane," Jasper counters reasonably, blissful smile never leaving him. It only falters a little when Rian declares they're going to cross back over, but he goes along with it easily enough. Unlike Jasper, Molly and Roy don't like the spiders, and the urge to chew webs has him holding them a little more tightly, even if they're stronger than the 'aristocrat.'

Kostya brings up the rear of the party as they head to the building. He figures Jasper needs to be up front to help figure out the spirit stuff so someone better watch their backs. When they reach the spot they are about to cross over, everyone would hear a *bleeping* and *blooping* and *thumpthumpthump* of electronic sound similar to a drum machine that seems to respond to the orchestral sounds of the enigmatic spirits. There, behind Kostya is a shapeshifting diamond, then cube, then sphere, changing colors as it changes shapes from blue to purple to red on through the spectrum of light.

Chayse follows along behind Rian, looking for that sacred nook or cranny that will allow them to jump back to meatside. The Joy, Fear and Chorniy spirits get a curious glance and he's reminded why they have a Theurge with them.

Rian counters, "Yeah but then you're going to be 'that really farty roommate' that no one wants to invite to game nights." at Jasper. Stepping out of the broom closet or whatever little quiet spot, this building turns out to be active as fuck right now. The Boy Band has skipped ticket collectors, which is great, but they're also not exactly dressed out for a night at the Grand Ol Oprey or whatever. Under dressed frat boys! Seriously though, people are dressed quite nice and there is just an astounding number of cowboy boots, hats, and bolo ties going on. Passing foot traffic is headed for what looks like a large theater, wall decor is almost entirely centered around live musical performances, predominantly of the country and western variety. Also there's a bird, one random loose nightengale that twitters and flutters up near the ceiling, easily skipping all the ground-based obstacles as it shoots down the hall towards its missing Music Stick located further in. Chorniy will probably like this place, it's a very music-worship sort of place.

Kostya takes a look around and quickly surmises their situation, "We dun gone country ya'll" Jasper absolutely does not look like he belongs here. But at least he's not a cyborg anymore! "How do we get the stick?" he asks, the second theatre he's had to visit in as many days. Yeah, he just starts wandering further inward, after the bird!

This really should not surprise Chayse. /Of course/ it's a country western venue. They're going after a /banjo/. Still, the young Philodox is surprised. "Uh.... Guys?" He sort of stares at the hats, boots and bolo ties that pass them and rakes a hand through his hair, nervously. Then, he gathers his wits and nods. "Right. Just /act normal/."

This is exactly as annoying as any other time you've ever tried to get somewhere quickly when there's a bigass crowd. Everyone ELSE is fine with plodding along a a meandering pace, in no hurry because they're all going to the same place, and that just makes it a pain in the ass for the pack to get through without pissing people off, knocking them around, or anything. This eases up considerably as the theater's several doors are passed though, and they're just left with restroom traffic and people going to those staff-only types of places. ~It was here! It was here!~ the bird is twittering like mad and buzzing around a closed door. Which is thankfully unlocked also, but birds cant open doors.

It's a bigass backstage dressing room! It's not empty, but also everyone's WAY too fucking busy to care about every head that pops into the door. Lit up vanities are covered in stuff, there's racks of extremely bright, sequined clothing, piles of clothes and personal belongings all over the floor. Right past that, an avenue to backstage, where everyone's racks of spare instruments and stuff can be seen. There's one problem though. These four appear to be the only men in attendance. Probably has something to do with a massive sparkly sigh that can just barely be seen as part of the stage's background, reading The 'Women of Country' Tour. There is very little time before dudes get noticed in the ladies dressing room.

Konstantin begins going through the clothes and paraphernalia in the dressing rooms, tossing items at Chayse, Rian and Jasper. "Dibs on the Elton John hat and glasses," Kostya says. "Saddle up boys, we need disguises."

Jasper doesn't really get gender norms, and the trio can see him just...going for it, heading toward the women's backstage door, hand out to open it.

Don't get Chayse wrong, he's all about equality, like any Bro is... Until he has to wear ladies' underthings. "Uh... I, uh." Something sparkly hits him in the face and he twinges visibly. He peels the garment off his face and sorta looks at it. He's not entirely sure how you even wear it... "I don't think I..." Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Good thing these guys are all either very secure or very oblivious! Rian starts stripping off his man duds in a hurry when Kostya declares it disguise time, and rummaging through hangers and stuff. There's wigs, ladies wear wigs, and because it's more normal for him he goes for a ginger wig and gets himself some enormous red curls. He'll also handle makeup for those that dunno how to do it! I mean, if you're gonna get disguised up, you might as well go the whole nine to at least a cursory-glance degree.

"My god you're a butch woman." he tells Kostya with a grin, "Did you even shave today?" Not that he hasn't got a little bit of a red goatee stubble going on right now himself. He throws a pair of falsies at Chayse's head, the kind used to give a boost to the less well endowed, "Hey! You're wearing a bra for *Gaia*! And those shoes don't even match that outfit, what the hell are you doing, man?" Jasper's probably... fine. I imagine him dressing himself like a spazdic 9 year old girl in a glitter factory, with crazy yet great taste. 'No, boots do not go with tutus but somehow you make it work.'

Out in the theater, music begins to play! Some rockin country out there, they're actually very good.

Kostya rubs his chin. "Bro I shave every day, but it was a long drive. Just call me Chely Wright. Chayse you're K.D. Lang." He pulls a brunette wig on his head and puts a rhinestone cowboy hat on his head before adding a pair of crazy glasses. He squeezes his ass into tight pair of flared jeans. "Yo does this make my ass look big?"

Jasper dresses hastily. He doesn't care a whit that his legs are unshaven, but at least the boots cover them somewhat. Nor does he care that he's lacking breasts. Probably doesn't even notice. But he's slender, willowy, and that -kind- of makes up for it. "Why are we doing this?" he asks.

There's no use in arguing. That much is clear... He studies the bra and sighs. He strips down to his skivvies and, surprisingly, has no trace of body hair on his homid form aside from his eyebrows and that mop on top of his head. He grabs up the bra and wraps it around his broad chest easily enough, but that's where he fumbles - Getting that thing /clasped/, instead of /unclasped/ perplexes his fingers and he struggles for a few before turning to Kostya and asking him for help. Rian has to put together the rest of the outfit for him, because he's hopeless and even worse with wigs and makeup. The end result wobbles a bit in his heels, and hefts his stuffed tatas up a notch as he prepares for whatever comes next.

"No, your ass looks great, but you might wanna tuck the boys back a bit." Rian says with a laugh, which cant be contained and bursts out when he answers Jasper, "Cause we're rescuing a banjo!" So the back-stage portion... It's FILLED with stuff, and there are a *few* dudes around, but they're all clearly marked as security, probably working for the theater itself. All the band/personal speakers, equipment, instruments, yaddayaddayadda, they're all marked with their bands name and logos, as well as promotional stickers and/or bins of merch promoting this tour. It's all very girl-power, apparently with proceeds going to several charities dealing in young women's issues, and the odd political organization with a hand in things like equal-pay and so on. It's pretty uplifting, aside from that whole missing banjo thing.

Rian went for a skirt, it seemed more tactically appropriate some how. And he waxes his legs anyhow, so it works. Once everyone's sexied up, they can spot the nightengale flitting around the rafters over a band's stuff, someone named 'Cherlene'. The coast is... not really clear, there's a LOT of people back there doing stuff and running around, getting prepped and ready to go on.

Think fast Kostya. He looks back at the group and takes one look at how ridiculous they look and makes a quick calculation. He bursts out into the area where the security guards are, "Come on bitches," he says in the most Russian Jew princess voice he can muster, "Charlene is gonna be so pissed that we were late as it is.

The skinny, flat-chested, near-albino follows after Kostya. At least 'she' does not look nervous. In fact, Jasper looks happy enough to be there, even as he beelines to where the banjo was being kept to avert the Apocalypse.

Where there is a will, there is a way. And Chayse, for one, is quite determined not to screw this up. He played lacrosse, for Gaia's sake! And with that, he flips that log, luxurious brown hair back off his shoulder with the back of his hand and puts one long leg in front of the other, strutting that appearance 4 like it was his goddamed birthright! Hips sway and resting bitch face rests. "Don't .FUCKING. Rush me," he grouses.

Rian has done this too many times, what with work and sisters and all that sorta thing, so the shoes at least don't prove to be a problem, but still, he has not shaved and that's putting a bit of butch into his otherwise delicate features. Jasper might actually BE a woman for all anyone knows. Chayse and Costya though?

"God damn them's some ugly women." mutters one security guard while the other smacks his shoulder, "They *prefer* to be called tran... tangen... Wait, what's the one where a man becomes a woman?"

"...Transendental?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Don't be an insensitive prick about them transendentals, they can piss in whatever urinal or toilet god sees fit to put in 'er path, just like us." "Larry. You're really startin to piss me off. Please stop watching day-time talk shows, I'm beggin ya, for the love of Christ."

Meanwhile... The pack manages things well enough to actually get to Cherlene's things, amongst them being several guitar and banjo cases. Too many to know which is it off hand, buuuut the lady herself, lookin like Daisy Duke, appears to be ambling distractedly this direction, so... Choices choices...

"Don't wast time pickin and grinnin and find it!," Kostya calls in his best? southern twang. He turns towards the pair of daisy dukes, brimming with confidence. Ladies are his specialty. He's got this. "Oh CharLENE you look aMAZing honey let me just get a LOOOK at you in them Daidy Dukes!" Keeping his gift of Persuasion on he moves in to keep Charlene distracted while the others look.

Jasper looks at the security guards, round-eyed, and not comprehending, but fortunately he doesn't say anything. Just gets to the room and...five. Five cases. He can identify the shape to differentiate them from the guitars. And then closes his eyes a moment, to channel Molly, who's presumably with the bird on the other side. The bird would know which one, right?!

Chayse watches Kostya go over to Charlene, just in case things go sideways. He glances back at Rian and Jasper, and up at the bird a bit as he grabs out a compact, opens it and touches up his lipstick with the edge of his pinky finger. Eyes forward, check on Kostya - Eyes in mirror, look back at Jasper. And thus he juggles his attention.

Rian helps with getting the banjo cases out of the mix while Jasper concentrates...

Cherlene unwraps a rocket pop and from there it's all just innuendo and frozen koolaid. "Do I like... know you, or...?" she asks in the perpetually bored and dazed tone of any kid from American capitalist royalty. Still, she's not flying off the handle right off about a random ladybro just up and talking to her out of nowhere. "And what are you doing with my stuff?" It's hard not to notice three other queens over there pawing at her cases and doing zen face.

Molly and the bird help narrow it down to one case, and should anyone choose to actually look in there, it's a god damned masterpiece of banjo craftsmanship. Should anyone have any idea what a master class banjo would even look like. Rian asks very quietly, "We could take it and bolt, unless anyone's got a better idea?"

"Oh them? Stupid bitches. Reba over there lost an eyelash. The expensive kind." Kostya shifts to move in front of her and his voice squeaks as he almost busts a nutt. "SOooo! How you enjoying the tour?!"

"Mink!" Jasper chirps, but nods to Rian, because he genuinely doesn't have a better idea, other than, "Persuasion?" again. He's ready to run, though, and Molly and Roy, on the other side of the gauntlet, book it to the car, awaiting the Garou's escape.

"I say," Chayse purrs in a barritone too deep for any lady most have ever met. Except that one... "That we /run/". He snaps his compact closed and looks over his shoulder at Jasper and Rian.

Kostya points behind Charlene, "OMG Did Miranda's titty just pop out on stage?! Call the Enquirer!" And then he doesn't wait for Charlene to turn, he just takes off running as fast as his bell bottoms can carry him.

Jasper tries to run. The little Caspar Hauser kid isn't very -good- at it, though. Especially not in unfamiliar boots. He really should have brought his Heelys!

He might have mastered walking a few feet in them, but /fuck/ running in high heels! Chayse kicks those shoes to the curb and takes off like a bat outta hell, hugging the banjo case tightly to him and setting his shoulders forward in case he has to take anyone out along the way.

Rian grabs their little Merlin and carry-runs with him! It takes Cherlene a second to figure out what happened, this might have been weird but it was definitely distracting, "What?" Around the time the boys are getting to the doors out, Cherlene alerts everyone within shouting distance of a problem. A bottle of beer explodes against the wall next to the doors and sprays our heroes with suds while she screams, "OUTLAW COUNTRY! WOO!" and proceeds to give chase along with several other alerted yet confused people. At the very least, the tour is no longer soooo booooooring!

Kostya shouts ahead to his girl-bros. "Yo we gotta get to the other side. Chorniy's meatside body is still back home. Can we jump through the dressing room mirrors and go from there?"

"We can call an Uber," Jasper suggests from his own noble steed: Rian. He doesn't get gender, and he must not get how chase scenes work either. Or maybe he just thinks something that blatantly ballsy would throw off the guards. Likely the former, though.

Rian looks back the way they came, and shouts back, "No way, mate!" and tries to search around while also running, sorta swinging Jasper around wildly without meaning to. "Try to hide in the car park, steal a car, keep running till we out distance them-" He's throwing out ideas for the smarter people in the pack, "I'm not sure an uber's going to get to us in time!"

"If we can find a broom closet, I have a compact?!" Chayse suggests for the smarter people in the group... Hrm. Oh god. He tries to find a broom closet...

"Chorniy, meet us in the parking lot. This isn't the time to be picky partner," Kostya shouts through his dedicated earpiece, "Well FIND one! I don't care what kind as long as there is room for all of us."

Jasper doesn't say much more because Rian's swinging him around, and his owlish eyes are still wide and round, but not, right now, in wonder!

Chayse elbows his way through the door to the parking garage. Hope there wasn't anyone behind that door! His bare feet slap against the concrete floor and he yells, "yo! We need a ride. NOW!"

The wild chase is lead by the pack as they zip around backstage and the way-back loading bay thingie to a country rock soundtrack, until Kostya picks the parking lot for their destination. Diving out there, with some security and stage hands on their tail and their escape punctuated by Cherlene's exuberant WOO!'s, there is no Chorniy yet! So he just picks a direction and goes. THe valiant steed does show up after a moment though, having found something that meets at least some of his standards. It's a little more of a muscle car than a race car, but its owner clearly put a lot of work into its engine. Their ride comes squealing tires in and slams on the breaks (sorry Molly and Roy), so the pack can get in.

A squeal of tires and unfortunate crunch proceeds the appearance of Chorniy, having possessed a black dodge charger. Not a lot of extra seating, but it will be fast. The radio is blasting Johnny Cash's 'Man in Black' as it skids and squeals to a stop. Kostya jump behind the wheel. "Thanks buddy. I know it doesn't fit right. All of us are making fashion sacrifices today." As soon as everyone is in he pounds his foot on the gas and takes off.

And they leave their pursuers eating their dust! Narrowly, but an escape is still an escape and the car is fine. Rian relaxes wherever in there he's managed to throw himself and sighs. "Holy shit. That was some hassle!" He says now that they're safe. Totally safe. They're safe for about five minutes before the car is roughly bumped from behind and there's a loud HOOOOOOOOONK! that's followed up by a quieter but still unmistakeable "OUTLAAAAW COOOOUNTRYYYYYY!" For his part, the bus driver does NOT look like he's a consenting participant in this whole thing, but he's got people yelling at him in the tour bus and a crazy bitch hangin out the roof flap to throw things at a car, he doesn't know WHAT to do!

Chayse makes a wild dash for the Charger and leaps at the back seat like a desperate seal. Hopefully the banjo's tough! As they peel off and Rian's laughing, he sits up next to him in the backseat and peers out from beneath his lopsided wig. The skirt's indecently high on his hips and he's pretty sure this bra's underwire has just snapped... And then he gets whipped forward as they're bumped. He growls, "come on, Kostya, get us outta this joint!"

The radio continues to blare, ~We're doing mighty fine I do suppose. In our streak of lightning cars and fancy clothes~ and the Charger loses some paint against some cars parallel parked on the curb as Kostya skids around a corner. "I'm working on it. Chorniy is stuffed in this Dodge like my junk is squeezed into these skinny jeans. We're both uncomfortable and doing the best we can!"

The city streets make this a bit of a slower chase, which is probably the only reason the tour bus keeps up. More or less. It drops back on tight turns but then catches up, the poor bus driver is gonna quit his job as soon as this thing stops! There's quickly a whole lot less catching up though, and they lose the bus through some clever zig zagging and back tracking and other fancy maneuvers.

"Is everyone okay?" he asks the pack at large, searching around for some hopefully not sea sick ratties on the floor.

When they get to the open road, the truck of the charger pops open and a spare tire, an empty cooler and a couple of foldable lawn chairs fly out. "Heads up. Chorniy's losing some unnecessary weight." He hits the gas again and prays they don't hit a speed trap. "Ok. I think we're good."

Chayse keeps an eye out for the bus until he's more than sure they're not still back there. "I'm ok," he confirms and then sighs. He reaches up to run a hand through his hair and pulls back his hand, startled, to only then yank the wig off his head. He sighs and leans against the carseat, wig cap and false eyelashes still in place.

Once they're definitely safe THIS time, Rian says, "Okay, we can probably slip out of sight somewhere and get back to the umbra. Damn that lady was crazy, who does that? Any how, let's let the bird catch up and Chorniy stretch out, and get this instrument back where it belongs."

The nightengale catches up and via Jasper gives directions back to its home on their umbral journey, which everyone makes without their clothes. Nekkid, in their underoos, that's up to you. Home turns out to be a tiny little farm most of the way back home, and the nightengale explains along the way that the crazy lady had stopped there on her way by, and just fuckin took it like a total C U Next Tuesday. Its proper owner turns out to be a young boy, maybe 12 or so, obviously disabled but holy shit does he look happy to see his banjo back again. He plays with a dexterity and skill that very few can manage, and the world around him becomes more vibrant when he uses the fetish. Flowers bloom, leaves rustle, the grass sways with joy. Plants really do like music! And then? The ride home. Nekkid or in undies. With makeup on.

The end!