2014-11-16:CultsAndCorndogs
| Cults and Corndogs | |
|---|---|
| Who stole Archie Samson's body? The search goes down an unexpected sidetrack. | |
| IC Date | November 16, 2014 |
| IC Time | Evening |
| Players | Hank, Feather, Bronwyn, Kass |
| Location | Light Forest |
Begin Log
So where do you go when you're hunting down an evil cult that doesn't actually exist? You follow the clues that also don't exist, of course. In this case, it was a police report about some frat boy party down in the woods, which Frank insisted didn't make sense because wasn't that the same night as the homecoming game? "This looks like the right place," he says to Heather, easing the car through a few twisty bits of road toward a little area that could pass for a parking lot.
Bronwyn is already here. What the fuck is she doing out here? Is she supposed to MEET you guys here? Maybe. She's up in a tree, though, not easily seen.
Heather is all dressed-up for the Frat party in the woods a plaid jumper worn over a long-sleeved shirt and leggings. The plaid is for schoolgirl and the leggings and sleeves are not getting scratched by branches. It is a silly outfit. She even has her long brown hair in braids. She peeks over the area, but doesn't notice Bronwyn in the tree.
Frank kills the ignition, leaning over to offer Heather a quick hug. "Got your camera all charged up yet, or you need a few minutes?" He rolls down the window and peeks out, looking for signs of recent human activity.
Bronwyn hops down. She lands perfectly, in the beam of the headlights from the car. "Boo!" She isn't very scary. But that sudden drop from about 10 feet up RIGHT in front of them? Yeah. That's some creepy shit. "Are you still looking for 'cultists?'" She makes little ditto marks in the air and happily makes her way toward the car.
Heather wraps her slender arms around Frank, returning the hug. "It's ready..." She says and pulls out a digital camer. She then jumps! "No...we are looking for drunk and horny frat boys, tonight. "That does sound good, but Heather doesn't seem to notice.
Kass comes wandering out through the forest when Bronwyn drops onto the ground. Slipping out of seeming no where as he looms behind the crazy girl, "You shouldn't hide in trees so much." He tells her, because that's the most important thing to adress at the moment. He lets out a soft huff before looking past her toward the others, "That seems to be a silly thing to be looking for."
Frank instinctively takes a step back as well. /He/ was expecting evil cultists... well, not necessarily expecting, but thinking about. "More accurately," he explains, "we're looking for a cover-up that /looks/ like drunk and horny frat boys." Which they're destined to find in spades, of course.
Bronwyn glances over her shoulder at Kass and FLINGS her arms around him, giving him a big ole smooch as she half-way crawls up his body to do so. Then she drops to the ground and turns around again. "Hank and Feather, this is Kass. I TOLD you there weren't any drunk and horny cultists around."
Heather studies Kass closely as if thinking he might be a cultist. She then nods knowingly in response to Bronwyn's words. "Okay! of course not...."
Kass chuckles and holds onto Bronwyn as she crawls up him before smooching her back before she drops away from him. He watches her bounce around and tells her, "Well, okay. If there are do I get to break them?" He asks Bronwyn with a tilt of the head as he thinks about it a while longer. "Mmmm, but you found friends. This is good." He raises a hand in a wave to the other two, "Hello Hank and Feather."
"Hello, Kass," Hank (or Frank, or whatever) offers in return. He pauses briefly, consciously going over the inference he instinctively made earlier. Bronwyn wants to help. Kass is Bronwyn's hookup. Kass must want to help. And when you're hunting an imaginary evil cult, you need all the help you can get. "Okay, I'll check along the left side, you get the right and we'll meet in the middle?" He doesn't think to qualify the 'you'; surely someone will decide it refers to them.
Heather peeks about. "Okay..." She says towar Frank and starts to vere right.
Bronwyn nods to Kass, giving him a smile. "If we find the horny frat boy cultists, you can smash them." She gives his arm a little squeeze and starts circling around to the right, dragging Kass with her, "HEY!! IF YOU HORNY FRATISTS ARE OUT HERE, WE'RE COMING TO FIND YOUR ASS! Tromp. Tromp." Her feet are oddly silent when she steps, so she actually says 'Tromp tromp as she walks along.'
Kass tilts his head to the side, thinking about it a while longer and his head bobs, "Why do we just want to find their ass?" He asks Bronwyn curiously as they start to march off toward the fracists. His own feet stomping down a bit harder then they need to he asks Bronwyn, "Should we leave them alone or will the fracists pick on them as well?" He may ask but he makes no notion of actually being concerned or heading back toward them as he follows the little figure before him.
Oh, they couldn't have planned this better. With Bronwyn and Kass being loud and obvious, that makes it even easier than usual for Frank to wander around and not be noticed by anyone except the three of them. Not that there are actually any other people around to hide /from/, but there could be, right? Taking out a notepad, he starts sketching the layout of the place, notes here and there about shoe scuffs and discarded beer cans and cigarette butts and-- okay now /that/ is just disgusting. He almost stepped on that, too!
Bronwyn SIGHS at Kass. "Did you ever know anything GOOD to come out of an ass? Well, there was the one time I ate that key that we needed. Boy, that was a HORRIBLE two weeks, though." She glances over her shoulder toward Hank and Feather and shakes her head. "They'll be okay. Hank's a boy. He'll protect her just fine. But if all else fails, then they can be bait.. and if the fracists come after them.... cause who would come after US?.... then you get to smash." She doesn't bother being quiet about saying things like this.
Heather continues along, peering into shadows and between trees, trying to find an evil frat boy in cult robes. She is verying off to the left and is by herself. What could possibly go wrong!
"That's a good plan." Kass says with a nod of the hea as he thinks about it a while longer before his gaze flits back to where the others had gone. He shakes his head a couple times while he goes stomping through the forest as he looks back toward Bronwyn, "Can I smash them even if they don't go after the others as bait?" He asks her happily at the thought of it.
Bronwyn nods to Kass, patting his hand as they go tromping off over in that direction. "Absolutely. You can smash whatever you want to. Except Hank and Feather. I like them. They listen to me." She goes tromping further out, dragging Kass along. "Hey, Culti-------GAH!" And then there is an ear piercing scream of pure terror and then, just a couple of seconds later, a ... raccoon.... goes ZOOMING up Frank's leg.
Heather /was/ by herself, until she gets closer and threatens to turn and wander right into Frank. "Whoa, hey!" he says, spotting it a moment earlier and taking a step back, holding his hands up. Which is exactly the wrong way to defend against SURPRISE RODENT ATTACK. "Heather, get /out/!" he yells, before reaching down and swatting.
Heather yelps softly with fear and takes a small step back from Frank and the cult-summoned beast!
Kass turns and chases after the Raccoon, because he follows the Raccoon no matter what. Charing through the woods he watches as Hank assualts his poor Raccoon! "NO HIT!" His voice booms out as he moves to try and snatch the poor lil Raccoon away from the viscious assault of the would be disguised fracists. "Where is Hank and Feather!" He demands of them, cause their allies wouldn't attack them it's some kind of trick!
Up UNDER Hank's shirt is where the raccoon goes. You've heard of the Mississippi Squirrel Revival? Yeah, fuck that. Cause squirrels are pussies. If you're gonna do it, do it RIGHT. So the little raccoon gets up under Hank's shirt and then goes REAL still. Her claws are sharp, but they aren't piercing the skin. And really.. WHO is going to try and pull a potentially rabid animal out of their shirt when one very sharp foot is clinging not a half inch from your junk? And why is this raccoon still half-way wearing a sock? Wasn't Bronwyn wearing that very cute pink and yellow sock? There is one possible explanation: The raccoon ate Bronwyn. She scoots up and peeks through the neck of Hank's shirt.
Well, Frank doesn't /exactly/ attack the raccoon, she's way past his knee before he gets as far as slapping it. "Oooooookay, let's slow down a second, all right? Just hang on." Probably a bad choice of words, as he leans a little to one side and properly disappears, only to promptly reappear a couple feet away.
"They must have enchanted the forest animals, the cult." Heather says while lingering close and looking on with a wide-eyed expression.
"Fake-Hank! Don't attack my raccoon!" Kass growls at him before moving to tug at his shirt and try and shove his hand up under their as well. Yep, poor, poor Hank better dance away or he's going to have Kass fishing up under there so that he can tug out the poor assaulted little critter that is hiding in his clothing.
Raccoon is.. dropped.. into Kass's hand. How convenient! The little raccoon clings to Kass's hand and scampers up his arm to his head and then.. oh hell. Why not. Frank is obviously one of these magical thingypeeples. There isn't a raccoon that sits on Kass's head anymore. It's... ya know.. something.. not.
"Must have," Frank echoes, nodding to Heather. Tiger girl is wise. Then he blinks, staring at the new... whatever she is. "It's okay, we don't want to hurt you! We're just trying to find someone."
"Your Raccoon?" Heather says in surprise. She seems confused. "Oh, you have Raccoon?" She murmurs and peeks curiously at the animal. "Um, I'm sorry, I called you a cultist pet."
"Well of course she belongs to me." Kass says with a snort as if they're insane, "She always has belonged to me." He says before reaching up to pay the critter that is settled upon his head... that is most certainly not a raccoon now. His fingers stroking along her side and down over her hip, "I save you from them trying to beat you up." He offers to Wyn with a bob of the head.
"There was a spider." The... thing... peeks down over Kass's head and then looks over at Hank. "You better NOT hurt me. Do *I* look like a horned fracist to you?" Well.. um.. she kinda DOES have horns. She kicks her foot a time or two and then reaches down to tug that sock back up her leg. "I don't think that they were trying to beat me up. I think that Hank thought that I was going to bite his junk or something. No smash."
Frank is quite confused by this point, to the point that he's not even thinking about the claw marks in his skin. Those will occur to him later. On the one hand, he doesn't understand what's happened to her; on the other hand, Kass is not freaking out. "So... does she /do/ this? I was thinking maybe the cult did this to her." He hasn't even gotten as far as wondering about why. Why does an evil cult do anything?
Heather stares at the nymph, she stares and stares. She never saw anything like that. Her breathing elevates and her cheeks flush. "Um......"
"Do I do.. oh.. well.. you did the invisiblation thing. You won't TELL anyone, right?" The little nereid, all nekkid and stuff, is still perched on Kass's head, though she does hop down now. "So.. anyway... there's no horndog cult. It might be vampires or stupid woofs or something, but out here.. there's nothing so dumb as a cult. We wouldn't allow it."
"What are you talking about? Do what? She is just her." Kass says with his nose wrinkling rather confused by it all and he lets out a soft sigh as he continues to pet the Neried settled on his shoulders like that. He peeks up to her with a grin on his lips, "We should GET corndogs when we're done here. They are good." He says with a bob of the head making sure she doesn't fall off when he does it but he doesn't answer anything else.
Now that is the smartest thing Kass has said all day. Corndogs do sound good, don't they? "I won't name names or anything." It wouldn't hurt anyone to know that there are weird creatures /somewhere/ in the first, would it? The forest goes on for /miles/. "Well, wait, if there's no cult then who dug up the body? There was a body, I saw it." After the fact.
Heather still looks confused. "Um...was the raccoon your pet?" She says to the nymph. "Do you watch over this part of the forest?
Corndogs really are the best. The nereid smiles, showing her rather pointy, dangerous looking teeth. "I'll get you a corny dog," she agrees happily and looks at Heather. She cocks her head to the side, reaching up to scratch one floppy ear. "Raccoons aren't pets. They're wild, fierce, majestic creatures! You can't have a raccoon as a pet."
"Oh.." Heather says and then pauses. "Can you have a tiger as a pet? Probably not...um..is the raccoon your friend then? I didn't know nymphs liked corndogs. Um..next time I come to the forest, I will bring some."
Kass frowns a bit at the words from Feather, "What are you talking about? Wyn is mine." He tells her when she asks about the raccoon the thought confusing him. Then he looks up to the nereid there, "I think we should get all the corn dogs. All of them." He says with a bob of the head as he thinks about it a while longer and he lets out a soft, wishful breath.
Now that things have calmed down, Frank steps over and slips his arms around Heather's waist, nestling his chin against her shoulder. Clearly she is his, and vice versa. "Sounds good to me. It's okay if we write about you, right? I mean, this is--" It's not an evil gravedigging cult, but it's still something.
".... totally unbelievable and absolutely unable to be documented in any sort of factual way? Sure. Write whatever you want." The little nereid grins up at Frank and then shifts into... NAKED BRONWYN! She strolls away, off toward the woods somewhere. "Where did that other sock go? My feet are REALLY cold."
Heather reaches for her camera, it might not work taking a picture. "Oh..wait...say cheese...." She says, starting to lift up the camera!
Heather snaps a naughty picture! "Um......welll...her butt is adorable, anyways..."
Kass tilts his head to the side while looking back over to the others with a bit of confusion on his features. He doesn't get what they're asking about he still hasn't moved past Corn Dogs just yet. But then a nekkid Bronwyn is moving about so he follows after her. He thinks about it a bit more and offers, "I think you probably left them back by the spider." He offers helpfully to her.
Nereid spins around on a foot. Jiggle. There is much jiggling from the full sized naked girl. "Cheese! OH!! Cheese on the corndogs! Yes! But first! Socks!" She dashes away, doing all the jigglings, then she pauses and then comes to a complete stop. "Um.. YOU go find my sock." She heads back to the other two and pulls the one sock off her foot and drapes it very delicately across.. naked boobages. Cause modesty. It's ONE sock.. and it's barely more than an ankle sock. So she pretty much just has a sock sitting on her boob. "Hurry. Cold toes."
Frank politely glances downward. "I like yours better," he says to Heather. "Anyway, you ready to head back to the apartment? We can get started on the write-up in hte morning after breakfast."
Heather keeps snapping pictures! She will study then later for secret-nymph traits, that is why she will study them, occult-research...reallly....
She then smiles toward Frank. "Okay.umm..we have a story to write!"
Kass POUTS when he gets sent off. That means he doesn't get to watch the jiggly but he has to go tromp around the forest in the dark. He lets out a huff at her words, "Fiiiiiine." Rolls out from him while he wanders along into the dark back the way they came looking for the sock that was literally scared off of her.
Bronwyn poses for the pictures. A little jiggle this way, a little jiggle that way, a little giggle. A giggly jiggle. A jiggly giggle. Kass doesn't like pictures anyway. He'll be okay. And he gets some of the REAL stuff.. so there's that. But then SHE is pouting. "You're leaving? I thought we were looking for corn dogs."
Frank was heading back to the car, but pauses to glance back at-- well, in the general direction of Bronwyn. He's not sure how covered up she is, yet. "We've got... things to do. How about we meet you guys for lunch tomorrow?"
Heather trails along with Frank and shoves her camera back away. She blushes, being a little ashamed of taking pictures of a naked woman, but she was just a nymph in all fairness!
WAS.. When Heather and Frank wander off, Bronwyn turns toward where Kass disappeared. "Hey! Did the spider eat you in there?" She takes a few steps in that direction. One little tippy toe step. Two little tippy toe step
Kass comes wandering back with the sock in question, snatches up the Bronwyn, and drags her off into the night again. "Common, I'm tkaing you back so I don't have to worry aoubt you running away again." He says with a huff, "Good bye new friends."
Bronwyn has TWO socks for her naked self. Then she's being thrown over Kass's shoulder like a fifty pound sack of flour and she squirms about to try and get her socks on. One sock.. two socks... ALL THE NEKKID BUTTS!!!!!! "But....."
Frank grins at the other couple, then nods to Heather and resumes the trek back to the car with her. At least they parked pretty close.
End Log
