Have you ever felt despair?
Have you ever stood in the darkness and known, deep in your heart, in your spirit, that it was never, ever going to get better?
That something had been lost, forever, and that it wasn't coming back?
- The core of his existential philosophy, his paradigm insists that Creation is indifferent and more often than not meaningless until and unless we choose to impose our will and meaning on it. Magick comes from wrangling the cosmic mysteries and principles and realizing that belief and force of an awakened will is the thing that gives them power. Ultimately, then, magick comes from within. The Universe is an Etch-a-Sketch, and mages learn how to twiddle the knobs.
- In his view, Creation is fundamentally irrational, dangerous, and filled with powerful forces, most of which are hostile. Nothing makes sense for very long, and apparent safety can give way at any moment and plunge everything into chaos. Magick, science, and faith are tools we use, like fire and steel, to keep the threats at bay; those tools give us a leg up on our ancestors, but in the end we're all utterly fucked. Magick is a cosmic weapon, and using it makes him a monster too. There are other's that have the will and skill to use that cosmic weapon and those gods and monsters hold the keys to magick, and if they like him or if he kicks their ass, they might share those other powers.
All mages try to overcome themselves and the shackles of reality in one way or another. As a Nephandi however, he takes this idea to the extreme. To him
, the ultimate obstacles to overcome are the taboos and morals of the human condition, adherence to sanity, and the very existence of reality itself. He doesn't intend to achieve a higher form of being (Ascension), but he strives for utter destruction and oblivion, Descension, as it were.
As a Malfean Nephandi, he chooses to side with the human cultists, demented Werewolves and spirits of corruption serving the Maeljin Incarna and the Wyrm. He has worked alongside the legions of the Wyrm since his youth. As a Malfean he revels in loathsome practices and systematic corruption of everything he comes in contact with. To him, the Maeljin Incarna are not spiritual guides like they are for the Black Spiral Dancers, or sources of power like for their human followers. He see's them as creatures sharing the same cause. Since the Maeljin Incarna are Umbrood defined by their purpose, and Malfeans Awakened mages who deliberately chose this path, the Nephandi like him usually have a broader metaphysical view of the role they fulfill. Still, he acts with all the deranged conviction most other servants of the Maeljin Incarna will display, and shows little restraint and no regret at the horrible deeds he commits to corrupt all of reality.
Among the Nephandi, the Malfeans are the most brutal and excessive, often preferring sick acts of violence and destruction to subtle mind games and manipulation. While the other Nephandi like the Infernals spread the horror of damnation and tempt with the promise of power, the Malfeans like him strike at the primal fears and urges of humans. His magic has a focus through sacrifice, mutilation and sickening rituals that would make even some Black Spiral Dancers feel uneasy.
- No One is Perfect:
- Deranged: This probably goes without saying, but he's got some issues. Synonyms include words such as crazed, demented, irrational, unbalanced, unhinged, maniac, unglued and the like. This doesn't mean he's always off the rocker but there is a chance for things to go sideways when dealing with him.
- Devil's Mark: In the distant past he made a pact with a devil and when it funneled its power into him, it left a mark in the process. This blemish (known as a witch's nipple) is dark and unwholesome looking, but it is insensitive to pain. In ages past, the "witch prickers" of the Inquisition would test these marks with special pins before they burned infernalists at the stake. In modern day, the puritanical pricks are few and far between, and most people who see this mark will just think it's a birthmark.
- Distorted Image: His image doesn't do what it's supposed to which is to say that is to look like him. His shadow may from time to time make obscene gestures behind his back, and his reflection pulls faces at him from the mirror. Worse yet, this trouble extends to all audio-visual equipment and any likeness created by particularly talented artists.
- Sensation Junkie: Everything is an endless source of stimulation to the mage, and he craves all the stimulation he can get. When an opportunity to try some new kick offers itself, it is nearly impossible for him to resist. The more dangerous the sensation appears, the easier it is to ignore, he might crave forbidden sensations, but he's not utterly suicidal.
- Touch of Chaos: Disturbing things happen when he is around. This is one persistent manifestation of decay or randomness that, while not immediately apparent, will give away his occult connections. For the most part its wild, inconvenient luck in his presence. From time to time other strange effects such as withering plants or signs of pestilence are apparent when he's been around.