2016.05.07: PWN - MSW - UNSTOPPABLE 22
Contents
- 1 The Card
- 2 Intro
- 3 "CA- CA- CA- CA- CAPITAL CREWW.. IS IN EFFECT"
- 4 BoNzO the Clown and The Parakeet vs The "Evil" Shades
- 5 Luke Jackson vs Jay B
- 6 Giant Segment
- 7 BoNzO: Hardcore Championship
- 8 Sister Catherine teaser
- 9 Frank Debauchee w/ Olga vs Duke Andrews
- 10 Matt Ward: Hardcore Championship
- 11 Glint w/ Diamond vs Trishelle Jordan
- 12 Barbara Braman interview w/Alison Crowne
- 13 Silas & Barrel backstage segment
- 14 Chris Orton: Hardcore Championship
- 15 Chris Williams & Robert "Badger" Garland vs Ndomukong Asomugha & Mark Storm
- 16 Bryan Williams segment
- 17 Nikki Venom vs Jorge Santos
- 18 Hardcore Championship: LeBroc Harris vs Chris Orton
- 19 The Jokers Wild vs First Class
The Card
Date: Saturday, May 7th
Location: Golden Gate Arena in San Francisco, CA
Commentary: Alex Smith (play-by-play), Alex Bradford (color)
Promoter: Isaac Cornelius III
(Match Order/Card Subject to Change)
BoNzO the Clown and The Parakeet vs The "Evil" Shades
Bonzo has been on a roll, especially in the hardcore division! And along side of him in this tag team match is The Parakeet, who is currently tied with Chris Orton for the most Hardcore championship reigns. Bonzo and Parakeet tore it up just a few weeks ago against each other but now they team up against a team that did not have a lot of luck at WAR, The Evil Shades. It was scheduled to be The Shades of Destruction vs the Evil Shades but then we saw the debut of the Wasted Shades... a pair of shades fitting in with their own spectrum and made their presence known. Will the Wasted Shades be back? How about the Shades of Destruction? Well we'll have to find out when the Evil Shades take on the Oddballs of Hardcore!
Singles Match
Jay B vs Luke Jackson
Jay B won the Brolympics against IC4 in pretty impressive fashion in that Beer Mile and with some time to rest from a nasty hangover, Jay B steps back into the ring to take on the returning Luke "The Kid" Jackson. Luke Jackson was one of the top stars of MSW in Season 1, hanging up there with the likes of retired MSW Champion Bryce Manning, and former MSW Star Peyton Kaiser. Luke returns and looks to make a name for himself back in the company that gave him his break to begin with. How will he fare against the ultimate Party Rocker? Tune in to find out!
Singles Match
Duke Andrews vs Frank Debauchee
Now this is a match that is going to put asses in seats. Debauchee just had a hell of a match with Tevolo at WAR where things didn't really quite go his way, and things didn't go Duke's way either. But one thing is for sure, Duke still hates First Class and anybody associated, and he hates the Capital Crew as well, that have just grown in numbers. Word is Debauchee just fired Lainey Rae after costing him the match against Tevolo and he's on the scout for a new assistant. Perhaps he sees Duke Andrews as a possible assistant? Doubtful, and we know Duke won't go for it but this is a great chance for either man to come back off of WAR as we head into the next chapter of MSW.
Women of Tradition Match
Glint vs Trishelle Jordan
This is Glint's MSW TV Debut as she takes on debuting Trishelle Jordan, as well. It's been a while since we've seen a Women of Tradition match but one thing is for certain, that when they get their time to shine? They shine brighter than any star. We'll see what these two new ladies have to offer as they square off in front of the largest Unstoppable audience to date!
Singles Match
Chris Williams and Badger vs Ndamukong Asomugha and Mark Storm
Chris Williams -- you want to talk about a main event? He went to hell and back with Frankie Cocheese and Tommy Montana and things definitely did not settle well with him after falling victim to an attack post-match after the loss by two new members of the Capital Crew, the 'Burb Boys- Danny and Donny Taylor. If not for the return of Robert "Badger" Garland to make that save, Chris may not even be able to stand to face this match. But Chris wanted to get back up on his feet and get another shot at the MSW title and he figured the best way to do it is to take on the biggest and the baddest so he takes on The Nigerian Nightmare but he doesn't go into this battle alone because he teams with the man that he's not sure if he can trust, Badger, to take on Asomugha and Mark Storm (who looks to get on the winner track sooner than later).
Singles Match
Nikki Venom vs Jorge Santos
We haven't seen a lot of Jorge Santos because he's been working his independent contracts all over, but Nikki Venom has and did compete at WAR. Now Venom came up just short of capturing the chance to compete against Barrel for the PURE15 championship. Tough break but Nikki now wants to get back into it after doing the damage to Silas Romero that has prevented the #1 contender from competing at this event and defeating Jorge Santos may get him back on that path of victory. But what about those creepy little girls? Will they be back?
Singles Match
LeBroc Harris vs Chris Orton
LeBroc Harris is now at 3 Hardcore championship reigns, just one behind Chris Orton who is tied with the Parakeet for the most reigns. This is not a hardcore match, but LeBroc Harris is making a return to the ring after being out of it for a little bit. How will he fare against "Bad Guy" Chris Orton? How will Chris Orton fare against one of the best technical wrestlers in the business?
MAIN EVENT
Frank Washington, Scotty Addams, Drew Stevenson vs Delsin Oswald, Wolf Parker, IC4
Talk about an explosive main event? We saw the reunited team of the Jokers Wild during and after the brutal cage match between Drew Stevenson and Wolf Parker after First Class decided to intervene. With the Jokers was also an explosive bionic elbow delivered from Danny Stevenson who sat ringside to support Drew, to Billy Vegas for not opening the door, almost effectively costing Drew the match. Well because of those events and First Class looking to get back in the driver seat, The Jokers Wild take on two members, Delsin Oswald and IC4 and the assumed associate and hired hit-man, Wolf Parker, who may be out to finish the job on Drew who effectively won over the crowd after all this time because of that Cage Match. This match has all kinds of combustible elements and anything can happen in the Golden Gate Arena!
Intro
EM ES DUB! EM ES DUB! EM ES DUB! EM ES DUB! EM ES DUB! EM ES DUB!
Smith: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another edition of UNSTOPPABLE! This is the biggest Unstoppable in MSW History as we're in front of a sold-out crowd of 7 thousand, 5 hundred people in the Golden Gate Arena! They packed this place two weeks ago at WAR and they did it again tonight and it's going to be huge! Tonight I’m also joined by a new broadcast partner for the evening, Dexter Irving Cornelius!
"Excuse me for a minute, Smith, you can just call me DIC."
Smith: Well… DIC is joining me tonight because my usual colleague Bradford is not at the arena tonight and is seeking Harassment and Unsafe Working Environment charges against our new MSW Champion Frankie Cocheese with Eugene Vara--
DIC: That’s MISTER Varano to you, Smith! And the man is a genius and don’t you dare forget it! I know, you miss your boyfriend, Smith, but don’t you worry, we’re gonna have lots of fun tonight!
Smith: I- look- forward to it. First order of business is that earlier this week, our referees went on strike due to the overwhelming increase in demand for the work load with the Hardcore championship being added to the fold. So tonight we've got some temporary replacements for the night and hopefully this strike ends soon and we get to see Mike Maddix and Derek Lay back in the ring officiating very soon. And moving forward with business, on top of all the craziness, we’ve been receiving some very cryptic messages from a man that calls himself the Toy Maker. Not sure if he’s going to show up tonight but only time will tell. What has me really excited DIC, is that we’ve got a Women of Tradition match back on the show! It’s been about three months since we’ve had one, when Marie Porter challenged Artemis Kaiser for the MSW Women’s Championship. We’ve seen the news bulletins and four new Women of Tradition have joined us!
DIC: Oh baby have they! Now I tell you what, Smith, these ladies are drop dead SEXY! The tattoo’s on chick one? How about the glasses on chick two?! Oh and that sexy brunette chick three…
Smith: Well, DIC, the ladies have names. Two of them have a long history with each other in Lexi Pryce- - per MSW.com she was an inspiring talent back in 2010, an shattered tibia sidelined her after a motorbike accident which brought drastic changes to her look and style. After a few years away from the industry with her having a stint in the Lingerie Football League, she's looking to get back into the sport and choosing MSW to make her comeback.
And her long time associate Alison Crowne- a technical marvel; Her work down south- from her home-state of Florida to Texas has been regarded as very impressive.
We’ve also come to terms with one very impressive talent from Georiga- Sister Catherine! She's made waves in Georgia, enough that's caught MSW's attention to bring her on board.
And last but not least, Anne “Flying” Grayson who’s got quite the reputation to live up to, being the daughter of wrestling legend and MSW Talent Relations- Justin “Giant” Rowe! Anne has been working on the independents, traveling the world to do this on her own and make her own path. And in two weeks at Unstoppable 23 we get to see the in-ring debut of all four of these ladies!
DIC: That's cool.. but who cares about their names or where they're coming from?!
Smith: Our fans do, DIC.
DIC: Who cares about them? Why bother to give these hotties names when you can just stare at their asses all day?
Smith: Well I’d be careful how you talk about them, DIC, because I’m pretty sure any one of them could kick your ass any time they wanted. And if you approach Giant’s daughter that way you may find yourself out of a job.
DIC: My uncle is the boss Smith, I can say, I can do whatever the hell I want!
DIC leans back in the chair and props his feet up on the table with his arms up and behind his head.
Smith: Can you at least pretend that you’re interested in giving a damn about your job?
DIC: Maybe later.
Smith: Jesus, I think I’d rather have Bradford back and he’s a pain in my ass. Well on top of the Women of Tradition we’ve got the long awaited return of Luke “The Kid” Jackson! He makes his return to take on the Brolympics Gold Medalist, Jay B!
DIC: Let me interrupt you right there Smitty..
Smith: It’s Alex Smith…
DIC: Sure, whatever Alley, anyway, how can you go skippin over the highlight of the NIGHT! My main man Mister FRANK - DEBAUCHEE! Oh yeah! You WISH you could grow a mustache that masculine.
Smith: Sure, let’s just go with that. Anyway, WAR also saw the return of Robert “Badger” Garland when he made the save for Chris Williams in what could have been a very bad ending after his amazing triple threat with Cocheese and Tommy Montana, all thanks to the Capital Crew. And let it be known that after that match, Tommy Montana is NOT here tonight.
DIC: Thomas is at home resting. He’s the face of MSW and he needs to recover! And I’m saying this right now, Smitty, BADGER - CAN’T be trusted! He’s more turncoat than Frank Washington. You know that’s what their fight was about- who can turncoat better.
Smith: Turncoat has not been something associated with Frank Washington for years. He’s a family man now, DIC, he’s put all of that behind him and that’s why he put the issues with Drew behind him as well and that’s why we’ve got the Jokers Wild back together to take on your buddies in First Class in tonight’s main event! But we’ll get back to that in just a second. Badger made that save for Williams; And now Williams has to team up with him not knowing if Badger will strike him from behind or actually be there to help him as his partner?
DIC: Who cares. He’s a wild animal and should be put down with a bullet between the eyes. Mercy kill. No, you know who needs a mercy kill?!
DIC jumped up and sat up in his seat, planting his hands on the announcer's table.
DIC: Nikki fuckin’ Venom. What happened to those chicks?! At least I didn’t have to see his face or hear his voice even if it didn’t make any sense. BUUUUT if I gotta make a call, I think he’s gonna murauder Jorge Santos tonight. NO WAY JORGE!
Smith: Well every single week we seem to be getting better and better and the show gets hotter! This past week on social media <a href="https://twitter.com/Real_MSW">@real_MSW</a> we’ve also been seeing Silas Romero and Barrel going at it in a battle of words, relationships seemed kindled with Scotty Addams and Frankie Cocheese with odd antics and who can forget that as we mentioned moments ago, The Jokers Wild trio- Frank Washington, Scotty Addams and Drew Stevenson take on IC4, Wolf Parker and Delsin Oswald!
DIC: I’m honestly surprised Drew and Wolf are even able to stand after that nasty cage match but just because Drew is back in the arena doesn’t mean he’s getting away from First Class and Uncle Isaac anytime soon. BOOOOOM! And that’s how ya do it, Smitty!
Smith: Well without further adieu, WELCOME - TO MISSOURI STATE WRESTLING!
"CA- CA- CA- CA- CAPITAL CREWW.. IS IN EFFECT"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH9fBXKpkeI&feature=youtu.be
Theo: Keep it going..
Theo: Ta Loco 'crew,' I'm just inquiring here but- you here to see those First Class putas.. or us?!
The mixed reaction had faded, it seemed overwhelmingly positive now as the ring shook from the chant. Theo and Barrel exchanged words as Theo moved the mic back towards his lips and nodded.
Theo: You're right, he does suck- he and the rest of his boy-band. Everyone witnessed for themselves that IC3 and his boys- who I'm calling Coach due to them being in the back of the plan catching flights on stand-by don't handle a candle to The Capital Crew.. and if you forgot, let us remind you why..
On cue, Frankie and Barrel hoisted their championships into the air as the crowd popped for that. Theo let off a chuckle as he shrugged-
Theo: Possession is nine tenths of the law and as you can see in front of you.. Missouri State Wrestling belongs to us.
Smith: This.. is.. incredible. The MSW fans are wholeheartedly behind The Capital Crew here, this is how much they despise First Class!
DIC: And this is exactly why Uncle Isaac is heartbroken. We're in California, not Missouri! This is Cornelius Country but they're feeding into this Capital Crew propaganda being spit out by that llama Theo Vega!
Almost as if Theo heard DIC- Theo did a 180 and pressed his chest against the ropes as he leaned forward while staring at the younger Cornelius from within the ring- Smith cracked a smile as Theo lifted his aviator shades from his eyes-
Theo: You- You soaking wet one hundred and six pound pinata-
Smith held back a laigh as DIC's face went red with anger-
DIC was speechless, Theo fired off a wink in his direction as he popped himself off of the ropes and into the center of the ring-
Theo: You people- you need to understand that we're not doing this.. for you. We're doing this for us- we're doing this for capital, for the dinero- cheers.. boos.. chants.. jeers, so long as we're cashin' checks and breakin' necks at the end of the day, that's all we're doing this for. We've got enough friends in this business- now it's about the money and you better believe we're gonna milk this cash cow until those udders are empty.
DIC: How.. Selfish..
Handing the microphone off to the older of The Burb Boyz- Danny Taylor, he threw his left [free] arm over his brother's shoulder and nodded-
Danny Taylor: So like.. I heard that.. there's no tag titles in MSW.
Danny Taylor: You'd figure that they'd try to cash in on us being here but seeing how WAR ended, the Cornelius family don't seem too bright.
DIC: Keep it up.. keep it up.
Danny Taylor: See, unlike The Kaiser Family, we don't run from competition- we like- own'em. I heard that they purposely terminated their contracts with MSW because they heard we were coming- weak.
Donny Taylor: So weak.
Danny Taylor: Wasn't one of them supposed to be the best ever? Artemis Kaiser?
Donny Taylor: Well of course it's easy being the 'best' when you're a shark swimming with guppies. Not like it's hard or something.
Danny Taylor: Well spoken brother. But continuing.. we won't stop with the overrated as hell Kaiser Failure of a Dynasty- We went on Twitter and we called out those who was supposed to be worthy, we didn't get a reply. We called out The WHO Revolution, Scotty Addams and Zarek Lyle.. no response-
Donny Taylor: Of course.
Danny Taylor: So then we approached DA SOUTHERN HEARTTHROB..
Putting on his best stereotypical Southern accent, the boys in the ring got a chuckle out of it.
Danny Taylor: .. and his brother Javen- all we got is like- a half-assed, fearful response asking "who" we were. So let me tell you who we are Hillbilly Boy, we're 2nd TO NONE. We're Danny and Donny Taylor, we RAN through Mexico- we RAN through Florida, we RAN through Texas- Arkansas, Alabama, North Carolina.. now? We're going to RUN through Missouri. One way or another, with or without the OFFICIAL MSW Tag Team Titles- by the time we're done here, everyone will know who the single best tag team in HISTORY is.. right Donny?!
Donny Taylor: Like there's any doubt.
The brothers exchanged laughs as they held the mic out towards the PURE 15 Champion; Barrel- all as the big man took the mic and threw the PURE 15 Championship over his right shoulder as he cocked his head back.
Barrel: I've heard a lot of talk since WAR, how I broke rules.. How I did this.. how I did that, but let's get one thing clear- you can hate all you want but it won't change the fact that I walked into WAR and not only slapped TJ Bryce and Duke Andrews around the ring- but I ripped the PURE 15 Championship from TJ's grasp and made it Capital god-damned Crew property!
Throwing up a "C" hand motion, Theo and Barrel exchanged the gesture as Frankie slapped his big buddy on the back as The Burb Boys pointed at him and shouted something which was inaudible from the crowd as he continued.
Barrel: It don't matter how I won the championship, what does matter though is how I dominated and started the evening off for The Crew with a bang, the first of many shots First Class took to the abdomen. We've got it on life support, breathing tubes and all- now we just need to hold a pillow over it's face to end the suffering.
Smith: And the shots continue to roll in..
DIC: He's barking up the wrong tree, Smith. Delsin Oswald would own Barrel!
Barrel: But I've been thinking-
Theo leaned into the mic-
Theo: Uh.. Oh..
The crowd enjoyed a laugh at that as Barrel nodded-
Barrel: Yeah.. Contrary to what that bum arm having punkass bitch Silas Romero thinks- I definitely am able to formulate thoughts-
Smith: And there's the shot at the number one contender for Barrel's PURE 15 Championship.
Barrel: .. I'm not gonna play by the rules. We don't play by any rules, we BREAK'EM. So right now- right here, I'm going to do what only we can do.. Danny- throw me the paint!
Danny- the elder of the Burb Boyz reached into his hoodie's front pouch and tossed a can of spray-paint with a black plastic cover on top of it to Barrel. Shaking it, the sound of the marble bouncing through the aluminum was heard as Barrel handed the PURE 15 Championship to Theo as Vega held it in front of him. Uncapping the can, Barrel smirked-
Smith: Now what the hell is this!?
DIC: Don't tell me they're going to deface Cornelius property!
Smith: .. what the!?
Barrel: Because we do things OUR way, part of that is reinventing the wheel.. so from here on now- this isn't known as the goody two-shoes PURE 15 Championship anymore. No.. No, that's a thing of the past. Rope breaks? No closed fists to the face? No over the top rope or facing disqualification? NO, NO AND NO! Not anymore, because as of today- May 7th, 2016- this is now.. considered..
Moving the spray-can in front of the title, Barrel did a bit of redecorating as when he finished, he capped the bottle and stepped to the side-
Smith: He.. HE JUST PAINTED ON THE PURE 15 TITLE!
DIC: THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL!
The camera panned into the title- and now, added in front of the "PURE" portion, was "IM" painted on, making it read "IMPURE 15."
Barrel: So long as the title is in my possession- it will be now known as the IMpure 15 Championship- and from the looks of things to be COMPLETELY honest, it won't be leaving my side anytime soon. So whoever is waiting in the wings- whoever may think they can take this title from my shoulder- I hope you're ready to FIGHT me for it 'cause this ain't your daddy's championship no more. This is MY rules, and if you think you can compete- ask Silas Romero- ask Duke Andrews- ask TJ Bryce how the bottom of my boot tastes.
Handing the title back to Barrel, Theo slapped it before the mic was handed down the line towards the MSW Champion- all as Frankie Cocheese spun the mic on his hand before pulling the bandana down and away from his mouth as he held the MSW Championship in front of him- admiring it before tossing it over his shoulder and lifting the mic up to his mouth. Before he could speak though- the fans were so loud that it may have drowned Frankie out totally-
Frankie: Yeah?
"FRANKIE COCHEESE!" clap, clap- clap, clap, clap
Frankie: That sounds nice and all.. but on the real.. from the bottom of my heart..
The fans waited for the moment to pop- to blast the ROOF off of the arena..
Frankie: FUCK YA'LL!
DIC: And this is OUR champion?! The man that represents Missouri State Wrestling as a whole?!
Smith: .. yes.
Frankie: You can boo me all you want, you can crumple up those Pixie Cups that this broke-ass arena serves Pepsi and Mountain Dew in, launch it at me because it makes no difference, we never needed your support then and we sure as hell don't need your support now. I don't care if it's the company man Tommy Montana- the underachieving Chris Williams- who I beat by the way- or if it's ANYONE- there's no heroes for you people. Missouri State Wrestling isn't going to be saved because we won't allow it, you need to sit back- shut up and watch as The Capital Crew stacks cash.
Frankie: I'm an asshole 'cause I'm being honest? You want me to stand here and lie to you- you want me to tell you that it's going to be okay? You expect me to waste my time preaching like I'm a reverend that you'll be spared from the rapture- if you do, you better wake your ass up and realize that the best thing to remember when it comes to Frankie Cocheese is that love or hate me.. I'm genuine and you can always rely on me to tell it how it is. So when I say that MSW ain't go no heroes that's gonna swoop down from the heavens to save it.. that's the gospel-
Before Frankie could finish- a track for sore ears hit.. Chris Williams' wish was granted...
"Sound of Madness" by Shinedown RIPPED through the arena- every MSW fan in attendance or at home knew who EXACTLY that theme belonged to as Capital Crew's attention shifted to the aisle as the fans jumped to their feet.
Smith: OH MY GOD.. OH MY GOD, IT LOOKS LIKE MSW'S HERO IS INDEED HERE! THE FIRST EVER MSW CHAMPION.. BRYCE.. MANNING!
DIC: I told you a plan was in order! I told you Uncle Isaac had something coming and surely enough.. he pulled out the big gun!
Smith: THIS IS AMAZING! THE OVERWHELMING SUPPORT FROM THE FANS ON THE MSW OFFICIAL PODCAST MUST OF HAD THIS EFFECT ON BRYCE!
The theme continued to hit.. but there was nothing- no one emerged from the curtain. After about ten seconds or so, Frankie and the rest of The Crew broke into a HUGE round of laughter- all as Frankie swiped his hand across his throat and threw his head back.
Frankie: He ain't coming back! I told you MSW ain't got no heroes, you expect Bryce Manning to leave the luxury of his couch to step into The Lion's Den? Why? Why waste his time? Just like with us, none of you appreciated him when he was here, he ain't gonna be the one that saves the day- understand this.. we will crush whoever stands in our way. You know what the most important part of gang warfare is? Making sure your boys have your back and I know that whether it's Barrel- whether it's Theo, whether it's Danny or Donny, they'd take a bullet for me and that right there sets us apart from everyone else. You doubt that? Think about this one.. Where was TJ Bryce.. Delsin Oswald.. IC4.. The Skylarks.. where was IC3 when his champion got laid out at WAR? I didn't see one First Class member try to save their boy Tommy.. even Williams got support from Badger, what does that say about First Class?
DIC: He's stirring the pot, but that's fine. There's nothing wrong with First Class, they're all on the same page!
Smith: He does have a point..
Frankie: If that's our greatest opposition, MSW don't stand a chance.. This is our turf now, I dare ANYONE to try and take it from us.
BoNzO the Clown and The Parakeet vs The "Evil" Shades
"Run of Show" hits the speakers. The arena lights start flashing in red and purple, as Red and Purple Shade skip their way to the entrance ramp. Both Shades have wide smiles on their faces. Red Shade raises his hand in the air with his index finger extended, while Purple Shade puts his thumb up and thrusts his arm in front of him. The two of them skip their way down the ramp and slide into the ring, both Shades getting onto different turnbuckles to do their signature taunts. Out of the air, Blue Shade descends down to the ring, his cape spread
Gavin Grey: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring first, accompanied by the Blue Shade weighing in at a combined weight of...
Gavin Grey trails off, unable to read the rest of the index card.
Gavin Grey: … They are the Shades!
Smith: The Shades, Purple and Red had a very rough outing, in fact all the Shades did as Gold and Brown interupted their face off and managed to take out all them. One has to wonder how they plan to right the ship after such a dagger to the the heart. Meanwhile The Superfriends; BoNzO and Parakeet, once enemies are now on the same side and they look to win their first match together.
DIC: Listen Smitty; I'm not like that loser Bradford. I don't care if the Shades are the long lost members of the Blue Man Group, they may be able to “ooooh” and “aaaaaaah” all these silly people but if you ask me...
Smith: And nobody did.
DIC: If you ask me, and I don't see why you wouldn't, I say these men should be committed to a mental institution. Throw the Parakeet in there while you're at it. It's not healthy for a grown man to parade around in a bird suit thinking he can fly. At least BoNzO is trying to entertain people without some kind of mental illness but he probably goes home to a whale of a wife that hates him.
Larry Lestrange: LADIES & GENTLEMEN... BOYS & GIRLS... CHILDREN OF ALL AGES! ON BEHALF OF FUN TIMES, INCORPORATED I, RINGMASTER LARRY LESTRANGE OFFER TO YOU! THE SOLE SURVIVING MEMBER OF THE WORLD RENOWNED CLOWN CLAN, FROM CLOWNSVILLE... BoNzO... THE CLOWN AND HIS FINE FEATHERED FRIEND... THE PARAKEET!
With a drumroll going off in the background a horn to the tune of TA DA goes off as BoNzO comes out in a clown car! As the car squeaks down the ramp it pulls a giant bird cage on wheels as The Parakeet squawks for the crowd. The car makes a lap around the ring, speeding up as Blue just very barely gets out of the way. BoNzO gets out of the comically cramped car as he pulls out a giant keyring with a giant key on it, using it to unlock the cage as The Parakeet. The bell rings as soon as they enter the ring, Jimmy Balther a referee fresh out of high school ringing the bell, making this the first match he's ever officiated.
Smith: How old is this kid?! 16?!
DIC: Age isn't a factor if you've got the heart for the job.
Smith: What the hell does that even mean? OF COURSE age matters when you're an official! I doubt this kid is even old enough to drink a beer! How can we expect him to be able to control not one.. not two.. not three, but four men- one of which is a clown, another is a bird- and the other two aren't even from this dimension!
DIC: Now you're just being stupid, of course Jimmy Butler is capable!
Smith: It's BALTHER.
DIC: Congratulations for him!
The match is absolute chaos from the get go as all four competitors go after one another. As punches and kicks... and beaks are exchanged Balther just seems to be overwhelmed by this whole situation, especially after BoNzO gives Red a wedgie and Purple is pecked in the eye. The commotion only seems to increase from here as the camera cuts to the top of the entrance of the audience seating area as Lebroc Harris could be seen quickly walking down the stairs. Matt Ward is in fast pursuit several seconds behind with Bob E. Bautch in toe behind him wearing a painted on referee's uniform. Behind them is the drunken Hobo who is snatching fan's beers and guzzling them down as he chases after them.
Smith: Looks like we're on the verge of absolute insanity- as if it wasn't bad enough yet!
DIC: I don't understand how these men haven't been committed to a mental asylum, where's the guys in the white shirts and white van!? You've got two space aliens, a bird, a clown and joining the party is a dude who looks like he drinks too much protein shakes with a PAINTED on referee shirt- a drunk bum who I can smell from here.. LeBroc Harris who swears he's the most secure guy on the roster and Matt Ward who's one concussion away from Troy Aikman.
Smith: Sounds like a party! This outta be interesting! There isn't another promotion out there that can tout having such a diverse roster, and of course.. such a thriving Hardcore environment. But it doesn't define us, it just shows how vast we are.
DIC: I think Matt Ward is literally foaming at the mouth.. Smitty, he's FOAMING.. AT.. THE.. MOUTH.
Lebroc hopes to use the action in the ring as a distraction as he quickly slides into the ring during such a big melee but unfortunately he gets caught by an errant fireball by Red after he managed to fix his wedgie dilemma. Everyone in the ring suddenly stops as they turn their attention towards Lebroc who is covering his face on the mat before everyone makes a mad dash for the champion. Matt Ward slides into the ring next and exchanges a few punches with The Parakeet and Red. The Hobo grabs a beer bottle from ringside as he stumbles over the barricade and he smacks Matt Ward in the back of the head. Chris Alans jogs hastily out form the back and he too goes to enter the fray despite being horribly out of shape and out of breath by the time he gets there managing to actually hit the Brick Wall Special Stringer Splash to a distracted Parakeet. Alans could see Harris only a few feet away but he slumps against the ropes holding his chest trying to catch his breath. Purple throws sand in the Hobo's face but most of it gets in his beard. Bob E. Bautch starts yelling at Balther telling him to get out of his ring before he twists him into a pretzel in the shape of a duck.
DIC: .. How do we even describe this!?
Smith: Utter pandemonium, that's how!
DIC: Last time I saw so many rejects in the same place at the same time was at a Seahawks home game!
Smith: While that may be indeed true, the bigger question is which one of these men will leave as the MSW Hardcore Champion!? What was originally a tag team contest between BoNzO The Clown and The Parakeet versus The Shades spiralled out of control and has turned into a glorified brawl! A brawl for all!
Amazingly Lebroc manages to roll out of the ring unnoticed amid the massive brawl and he starts to walk up the ramp appearing to be in the clear. Just when the Hardcore Champion appeared to pull an ultimate Houdini however BoNzO popped out from the other side of the car, he too managed to slip out amid the chaos! Lebroc is stunned and shocked as BoNzO honks his horn in his face, the knockout gas dropping him instantly. BoNzO quickly goes for the cover. Bob E. Bautch notices this and he goes to exit the ring but his feet get tangled in the ropes and he crashes hard to the ground. The pain causes him to slap his hand in pain on the floor 3 times and is acknowledged as a pin fall as the bell rings..
Gavin Grey: Here is your winner and the NEW Hardcore Champion, BoNzO!
Everyone in the ring immediately stops and turns towards BoNzO. BoNzO gets an amazing head start running towards the back as everyone currently in the ring begin to fight with one another again to ensure that they would be the first to give pursuit, causing MSW to cut to commercial break.
Luke Jackson vs Jay B
Gavin Grey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at Two Hundred and Twenty Pounds, From Las Vegas, Nevada... JAAAAAAAAAAAAY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Party Rock Anthem hits and Jay B enters the arena when the music starts, jumping and dancing as he stands at the entrance admiring the fans. He then makes his way down to the ring slapping hands with the fans. He rolls into the ring and goes to the center of the ring and dances to party rock anthem and then fist pumps and pyro comes out of all four ring posts.
Gavin Grey: And now making his way to the ring, weighing in at One Hundred and Sixty Five pounds, from Oakland, California, LUUUUKKKKEEE "THE KIDDDDD" JAAAACKSSOOOOOON!
The bell rings and the two tie up, Jay B uses his size advantage over Luke Jackson to twist his arm with an arm lock and he holds it in tight. Luke Jackson is working on trying to get free but Jay B is holding it tight. Jay B holds it until Luke Jackson rolls through to his back with Jay B holding his arm still and Luke Jackson kip-ups to his feet and arm drags Jay B over. Jay B is taken by surprise as he used the ropes to get up and looks at Luke Jackson who wiggles his arm a bit to get some feeling then urges Jay B to come at him. Jay B nods his head with a smile and rushes at Luke. Looking for a lariat but Luke Jackson ducks it and hits the ropes. He rushes back at JayB and Jay B leap frogs over Luke. Luke hits the ropes again really picking up speed and Jay B looks ready for him and catches Luke with a big back body drop except Luke pulls off a hell of a high risk move. Luke goes up and over Jay B’s head but instead of landing on his back, Luke lands on the top rope on his feet and keeps his balance in an amazing display of balance. It takes him a moment to get his balance and when Jay B turns around he’s shocked and Luke Jackson moonsaults off and onto Jay B and hooks the legs but only two! And the crowd is going nuts!
Smith: I’ll tell you what, DIC, I had my reservations about how this match was going to go tonight with the return of Luke Jackson and having him keep the pace of the match running faster than what we’ve seen of Jay B used to thus far, but he’s not pulling any punches and is keeping up with Luke Jackson every single step of the way!
DIC: If I had to made a choice right now, I’d have to go with Jay B… now hear me out.
Smith: Really, DIC, it’s ok---
DIC: Hey! I said hear me out, unless you want to end up on the street like Drew Stevenson. Now, like I was saying-- I’d have to pick Jay B because he’d be like the greatest wingman, ever! The guy brings in all kinds of hot chicks! I mean look at the hotties sitting over there sitting front row! WOWZA! I could be going home with all kinds of tail and if Jay B wins this, I can say I was rooting for him the whole time and then maybe we can go grab a few drinks.. One thing leads to another!
Smith: Come on, DIC, this is a family show!
DIC: How can you say it’s a family show when you’ve got guys like Silas Romero saying ‘fuck’ every other word? Maybe that’s why you suck at your job so bad, you’re delusional!
Smith: Come on! Think what you want to think, but we’ve got kids that come and see our shows and you should learn to keep that in mind when you’re out here at the broadcast table! But either way it goes would you listen to this capacity crowd! They know great wrestling when they see it and we’re seeing it right here with these two!
The match continued for a little bit with Luke Jackson keeping the pace of the match up at an all time high and just like Smith had made mention of, Jay B was keeping up with him despite being the bigger man. Luke Jackson trying to take the lead throwing some punches and kicks until Jay B catches a kick and pulls Luke in with a big exploder suplex. Jackson bounces off of the mat and rolls outside the ring. Jay B keeps his eye on him and runs into the opposite ropes and he comes charging to the ramp side of the ring where Luke Jackson is and Jay B plants his hands on the ropes using his momentum to flip over with a flipping dive and lands across Jackson getting the crowd hyped.
Smith: Jay B back on the offensive here and my god what a dive to the outside! Jay B just FLIPPED over the top rope and crashed onto Luke Jackson outside the ring! Here in the the land of the Golden Gate in front of the biggest crowd for Unstoppable ever they’re going all out!
DIC: GO JAY B! MAKE THOSE LADIES GET READY FOR SOME DIC!
The match finds its way back into the ring and Jay B has control and there's been a few near falls. Luke Jackson sits in the corner and Jay B starts to fist pump and getting the crowd behind him. Jay B rushes at Luke looking for the Dice Roll (Broski Boot) but he misses! Of course, he missed thanks to the Hobo. Yep, you got it right, the Hobo from the Hardcore title was the referee for this match. The Dice Roll missed because Jay B had to slow down so he didn’t hit the ref. Hobo moved and Jay B got his foot up but Luke rolled out of the way just in time; just in time to roll Jay B up but he doesn’t hold the pin. Jay B rolls through it and is on his knees, and at the same time time Luke Jackson rolls on his side and throws his foot up clocked Jay B right in the side of the head and knocking him over. The kick from nowhere would stun any man and Luke saw that Jay B was holding his head and not really moving so he quickly rushed to the top rope. The crowd is cheering loudly and Luke stands on the top turnbuckle and leaps off spinning in the air with a huge 450 Splash that lands flush on Jay B, connecting the Oakland Splash and with a cover. Of course, the hobo had the crowd laughing when he sat there picking his nose instead.
Smith: I.. I can’t believe this, I didn't even realize it until right now that the damn hobo that doesn’t even know how to count is our referee!
DIC: That’s racist, Smith. Hobos are people too. They just fell on hard times! He’s just doing a job for a sandwich! GOOO HOBO!
Luke has the cover and yells at the hobo getting his attention. Luke tells the Hobo if he counts the pin he will buy the Hobo lunch. No, he wasn’t bribing him, just trying to get him to do his job. This gets the hobo excited and he learns how to count and counts for three.
DIC: I can't believe that! Luke Jackson is a criminal! He just exploited the hard times this poor man is experiencing to get a win! Returns just to cheat! How pitiful!
Smith: I'd say Luke just did a service for the hobo and got him to actually do his job. We've seen that he has trouble counting and how he even got to be the referee is beyond me.
DIC: That was me, actually. I FIGURED I'D BE A NICE GUY AND LUKE JACKSON HAD TO GO BE A CROOK! BOO THAT MAN!
Giant Segment
The crowd was hot, coming right off the heels of an amazing match between Jay B and Luke Jackson the crowd is on fire and we head to the announcers table.
Smith: Folks, that was a great match, even if we’ve had some issues with the officials for our show tonight, the talent isn’t letting that get in their way of having top notch matches. But now it’s the time we’ve been waiting for with the huge announcement! However, IC3 and company are busy with the official situation, but we’ve got word that for the first time in over a year, we’re going to see Justin “Giant” Rowe, a member of our talent relations team who’s here to make the announcement!
DIC: I’m curious about this announcement, too! Not even my uncle told me what’s up!
Just then, “Pain Redefined” by Disturbed hits the speakers with an eruption from the crowd and emerging is the man known to the people for the better part of his career as Giant. He makes his way down to the ring full of smiles. A red carpet covers the ring mat and a podium stands in the middle of the ring, covered by some kind of a cloth as to not identify what it is. The crowd is eating it up with their loud chants.
Giant motions to the crowd to quiet down as he laughs before raising the mic.
Giant: LAAAAAAAAAAAADIES AND GEEEENTTLMEEEEEN OF EM ES DOUBLE-YOU! ARE YOU HAVING A GREAT NIGHT?!
Giant: I saaaiiiid… ARE YOU HAVING A GREAT NIGHT!
Giant: THAT is what we like to hear! If there’s one thing that Missouri State Wrestling is able to bring, it’s a unique presentation that you’re not going to see ANYWHERE ELSE! If you head down to the East Coast, do you think you’re going to see talent like our MSW Champion Frankie Cocheese? Or how about the IMPURE Champion Barrel and the rest of the Capital Crew?! EH-EH! Or if you head to the north, think you’ll see talent like Chris Williams and Robert Garland? EH-EH! Do you think if you head to the South, you’re going to see talent like Frank Washington, Scotty Addams, Drew Stevenson and Wolf Parker?! EH-EH! But if on this day you managed to bring yourself to the West Coast you’ve just made HISTORY being part of the biggest Unstoppable EVER! And because this is the biggest Unstoppable ever we decided to turn the action up a notch!
Giant: You fans are why even though we’re from the Mid-West, we’re able to go out of our way, out of our home and come all the way out here to San Francisco AND SELL THE ARENA OUT! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
The crowd was loving every bit of this. Giant played to the fans in his veteran instinct.
Giant: So y’all are ready for the announcement, right?
Giant: I SAID ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?!
Giant: Ladies and gentlemen, about two weeks ago a rumor broke online about the possibility of a new championship, a Junior Heavyweight Chamionship. A championship that would showcase a lighter, more fast paced, high impact division, unique to anything else out there. And then we saw the massive influx of female talent for the possibility of reigniting the division that was the staple of this company in season one. Women like Anne “Flying” Grayson…
Giant: Or Sister Catherine…
Giant: How about Alison Crowne?!
Giant: Or. let’s hear it for Lexi Pryce!
Giant: And of course nobody can forget about a lady that quite possibly kicked this movement off, making her in-ring debut tonight but has been seen going after the Hardcore Championship with the best of them… GLINT!
Giant: So right now we’ve got intergender competition which is new to MSW but we haven’t had the strong female talent for the division. So what happens? Well that’s why we’re here! Ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce the next thing that’s going to carry MSW into a new generation, a new chapter, a new STATEMENT in MSW History. Here's the kicker.. tonight it's not just one announcement. It's TWO announcements! The first is regarding the Women's championship. As we all know our current champion, even though the title is not currently active, Artemis Kaiser, was sent back to Canada; but in two weeks time we're going to schedule a Women's championship match! Now you're all probably wondering how that can happen with an expired work Visa but it doesn't matter because a real champion will always find a way! Missouri State Wrestling made Artemis Kaiser, and either Artemis Kaiser comes back to defend the championship or we crown a BRAND - NEW - WOMEN'S - CHAMPION! Artemis Kaiser will take on Glint, and should Artemis not show up? Glint will become an automatic number one contender to become the champion of the new era!
Smith: Holy crap, DIC! Unstoppable 23 is going to have the Women's title on the line! Either Artemis comes back or she officially vacates the title and we get a new champion! This is going to be insane!
DIC: BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTIES EVERYWHERE!
Giant: And now, for the second announcement. Allow me to introduce to you to what is under this cloth…
Giant grabs hold of the cloth covering what stands on the podium and he pulls it off and the camera zooms in on the new silver championship.
Giant: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the brand new Junior Heavyweight Championship! What you just saw with Jay B and Luke Jackson is just an example! Two Hundred and Twenty Pounds and less and it’s going to be some of the fastest, hardest hitting action that you’ve ever seen in a wrestling program! MSW is more than just another wrestling company, MSW IS WRESTLING! This championship opens more opportunities, more chances for talent to get noticed, to take the bull by the horns and MAKE opportunity for yourself! Enjoy the rest of the night folks, and keep the energy high!
Smith: What an announcement! A brand new Junior Heavyweight Division is going to light things up a whole lot here in MSW and continue to show everybody just why we're the most innovative company out there today!
DIC: Not gonna lie... I'm really looking forward to seeing some of these ladies flying through the air!
Smith: This is more than about just the women, DIC, it's about opening a whole new division with all new opportunities!
DIC: Yeah.. that too.
Smith: Well the excitement continues folks, because it looks like there's some Hardcore Championship action going on backstage! Let's go check it out!
BoNzO: Hardcore Championship
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Frank Debauchee w/ Olga vs Duke Andrews
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Matt Ward: Hardcore Championship
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Glint w/ Diamond vs Trishelle Jordan
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Barbara Braman interview w/Alison Crowne
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Silas & Barrel backstage segment
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Chris Orton: Hardcore Championship
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Chris Williams & Robert "Badger" Garland vs Ndomukong Asomugha & Mark Storm
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Bryan Williams segment
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Nikki Venom vs Jorge Santos
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Hardcore Championship: LeBroc Harris vs Chris Orton
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The Jokers Wild vs First Class
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