2014.06.23: PWN - LEGACY - Riots?! Dedicated to THE DIRT SHEETS
"I did request for a camera crew because contrary to what people think, we did nothing wrong. My client Drew Stevenson was in the total right! For those of you too stupid to understand things, I was the one that organized Drew's signing to LEGACY-- just as I was responsible for Alyssa Pryde's. When Drew and I were hammering out a deal, the one thing he made perfectly clear was that he wanted to have an option that stated whether or not he'd compete in an INTER-GENDER nature. Now Alyssa's camp wants you to believe that Drew.. 'ducked'.."
I detailed my sarcasm with quotation fingers, I thought it looked awesome.
"Alyssa, but it's nothing of that nature. At the end of the day-- My client felt as if his health was on the line as he clearly stated he doesn't find Alyssa to be a professional wrestler. She's a horror movie reject, a total novice in terms of WRESTLING. Can she hit people with brass knuckles?! Sure! Apparently she's mastered that art as she busted Peter Bauer open, but let's not sit here and pretend like Pryde is impressive, she's not. She's a woman that thinks she can exist in a man's world and this circuit is to blame for that delusion. Any LOGICAL promoter-- and yes, I use that term loosely as I learn more and more about the people that are the true guilty parties in Pryde's fascination with wrestling men; are court jesters-- absolute MORONS that's allowed this person-- this face-eating imbecile to think she's able to compete with the top of the food-chain. I don't know if the competition level she's faced in the past was that bad to where she developed this false state of confidence-- but my client Drew Stevenson is a far superior specimen."
Sitting across of me was Rob Hendricks, ring announcer and sometimes interviewer. I didn't want to bother seeing the face of a woman which is why I specifically asked for Hendricks-- after dealing with Pryde, she reminded me too much of my three ex-wives. Hendricks nodded at my words and let his eyes scan the cards in his hands.
"A Twitter account named World Wrestling News reported today that due to the result of Drew.. NOT showing for the match and instead using underhanded tactics to get to Alyssa-- the crowd rioted because of a lack of fulfilled commitments.."
"You were there Rob, why don't you tell me what happened?"
"I.. Remember Matlock making his return as Pryde fought through security and staff to try and get to Drew, Bauer and yourself."
"Now did you see any 'riots?'"
".. I heard the crowd erupt behind me.."
"Was it a riot though?"
"I don't.. I can't confirm, Mister Decaine."
"A riot, Rob.. Is what happened in South Central, Los Angeles after Rodney King's assaulters-- the LAPD were found not guilty. The community had an uprising because Civil Rights were blatantly violated and Rodney King did not get justice for taking quite a beating by those sworn to protect him. In 1968 when Doctor Martin Luther King Junior was assassinated. Chicago saw a riot-- a riot that caused 28 blocks to be completely SHUT DOWN with looting and arson. Over ten-thousand police officers were dispatched to handle that. How much police officers were in attendance-- and thus was called to duty due to these 'riots' World Wrestling News reported?"
"I.. Didn't see any."
"Exactly! Do you know why there wasn't any of Carson's finest needed? Because those responsible for the noise-making and mosh-pitting were nothing more than smarks. Internet fans that scour over Twitter pages much like World Wrestling News and BELIEVE everything they read! They think that Drew is legitimately AFRAID of Alyssa Pryde! They think that LEGACY has it out for her-- really? A bunch of smarks decided that they'd go against the grain and try to become viral-- they wanted to get their handles on Twitter going-- they wanted to trend with catchy hash-tags.. which leads me to believe that those smarks? They're probably the ones behind World Wrestling News-- THEY'RE the ones that's trying to besmirch LEGACY and my client! It's safe to say that these synthetic 'riots' won't be making the next CNBC's next list of 'America's Most Devastating Cases of Civil Unrest'."
"Interesting.."
"Oh, I'm not done yet. You see Rob, all I've heard is crying-- all I've seen is tears. The fact of the matter is, everyone wants 'attitude' and 'innovation' back, people HATE the PG rating most companies project, so when something like LEGACY comes along-- when Drew Stevenson and myself throw a-- don't get cocky Matlock-- a monkey wrench into their precious little existence where they've figured it all out-- when they're on Reddit and Twitter-- and on Facebook predicting what the show holds only to have Drew and myself TURN IT ON IT'S HEAD.. They get mad. They get SO mad that they start Twitter accounts, hide behind them with masked IP's and report things to destroy the image of the hottest thing going today. I've been around this business far too long and experienced far too much success to allow these lousy, no-good DIRT SHEETS to ruin a good thing, my advice? Much like everything else on the internet, take what you read with a grain of salt. Riots?! This isn't the LAPD getting off scott-free, this isn't an assassination of a national hero in Civil Rights movement-- this is Alyssa Pryde-- a no good, gore-needing HAS-BEEN angry that she had the wool pulled over her eyes-- and a bunch of SMARKS who loved her to death, angry to see Drew Stevenson conquer that ant-hill."
Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I KNEW this would cause an uproar. This 'circuit' that we're new to doesn't know what we're able to bring-- if they hated Drew Stevenson because of how talented he was-- they would DESPISE me. I was the reason why men like Drew Stevenson, Scotty Addams, Bryce Manning, Andrew Mercer, Christian Othniel existed, I gave them opportunities when no-one else would.. and it's no secret that Drew's immeasurable success-- Bryce's instant BOOM and to a <sorta> stretched effect-- The Jokers Wild is so notorious, these men learned from me and they've applied what I taught them in their careers.. and it's worked, hasn't it?
"So World Wrestling News-- Smark Central-- go and create a Kickstarter account for Alyssa's medical bills after Drew MADE HER FAMOUS. She shouldn't be mad, Drew didn't even need to put on a clinic like he's perfectly capable of to give her instant rub from his presence-- now she can go to one of those rinky-dink, reject ridden rat-holes that claim to be hardcore and go wrestle the lack of talent having rosters, she can go infiltrate those places-- pick up a barbed wire bat and swing like she's Barry freakin' Bonds. On behalf of my client Drew Stevenson and myself, Alyssa-- enjoy your extended vacation-- enjoy your indefinite suspension because you're not cut out to be part of a roster with Drew's name on it. You're 'hardcore' so go be 'hardcore' go walk down Rodeo Drive without make-up and star in the semi autobiography named 'The Sodomy of a Face-Eater' I'm sure Red Light District Films will jump on that."
"Is there anything else you wanted to touch up on since we're here, Mister Decaine?"
"Sure, why not?! Let me go on record to saying to the ENTIRE LEGACY Roster-- don't bother.. just don't bother. If you draw the short stick and have to face my client Drew Stevenson, just do as Alyssa Pryde did when Drew CRACKED her across the head with the kendo stick and play dead, it'll save years of your career. See, now that Bauer effectively put a ban on the ridiculous notion of inter-gender wrestling, we can focus on the prize.. and that prize is the LEGACY Heavyweight Championship. Now if you'll excuse me, allow me to get back on my phone and watch the e-Tears continue to fall after this goes live."
