2018.01.26: PWN - LONE - LONE 8

Intro

The lights start to dim as the titantron above the entrance way lights up. Rage Against The Machine's "Testify" starts up. The graphic of the event seen on the show flyer floats across the screen and then a promo reel begins. The crowd cheers as their beloved former champion "Gutter Trash" Terri Thompson can be seen standing in front of a trailer in Meadow Green Trailer Park late one night. She's dressed in her grey tanktop that reads TRAILER PARK LEGEND on it. The camera doesn't seem to catch her lower half. She smokes on a cigarette and then blows the smoke towards the camera. It cuts to a shot of Terri hitting her spectacular shooting star press off the top of a 20 foot steel cage onto Ms. Gucci to win the title at LONE 2. We then cut back to Terri who comments.

Terri: Drew Stevenson. You're gonna pay for what you did to my girlfriend, Wendy. You crossed a LINE!

We cut to another shot of The Glorious One, The LONE Champion hitting her backbreaker The Spotlight on Terri after fishhooking her nose. Then it cuts to The Glorious One cheapshotting Terri in the center of the ring after the FPD begin to arrest Terri's girlfriend Wendy. The footage now shows The Glorious One standing in front of a LONE purple and black colored background, wearing the title belt proudly while Mark Robertson sits in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast.

Robertson: Terri Thompson! I hope Drew Stevenson punishes you so bad that he doesn't just fire your ass, he humiliates you and makes you want to QUIT! You will NEVER get your title shot!

Immediately, we cut to the promo from last month, with The Perfect Shot concealed in a snowy forest while laid on her stomach and the scope and barrel of a sniper rifle being seen. There's a loud bang as a paper target hanging from a tree has a bullet rip perfectly through the center.

The Juggalettes mean mug the camera as they stand in a bedroom with the walls covered in ICP merchandise.

Slapp: You idiots will never see it coming! WOOP WOOP!

More fast paced footage of the rematch between The Glorious One and Sister Catherine, with Sister Catherine's red light bathing the arena in that match. Stitches can be seen inadvertedly hitting Sister Catherine over the head with a steel chair. Stitches stands in front of a solid black background, with new facepaint of stitches going across the bridge of her nose, towards her left cheek and right eye. She whines.

Stitches: I want my dolly! I WANT MY DOLLY!

More footage of hard hitting action, like Cinnamon hitting her Sugar & Spice standing heel kick on Kayoko Ichikawa, and Alison Crowne making Prada Paula tap out in record fashion. Footage of Sister Catherine in her original match with The Glorious One plays, more red light as Sister Catherine hits her Bloodlust impaler DDT on the champ. The red filter seems to stay as Sister Catherine's face is seen. She laughs darkly as fangs jut from her upper lip and she sprays a red mist into the camera. The music fades out and the graphic once again flies across the screen.

As the arena lights comes to life, the arena seems packed now! The ippv feed focuses at ringside, and the public address sound system blares to life playing “The Man” by Aloe Blacc as immediately; this capacity crowd on hand starts to deafen the LONE arena in a massive chorus of boos. Standing on stage with a smile on his face, obviously happy with his work last show, Stevenson walks down the ramp with so much arrogance coursing through his veins. Pulling his arm away so nobody can touch him, he makes his way down the ramp and quickly walks up the steel steps and climbs into the ring where he motions for a microphone.

Stevenson: Isn’t it fantastic to have so much power?

Lowering the microphone for just a second, this capacity crowd lynches him from a verbal standpoint which simply causes him to smile even wider.

Stevenson: Oh yeah, none of you are used to having any sort of power because you’re just like your hero, Terri Thompson, you answer to a man who is ABOVE you.

The boos only continue to get louder.

Stevenson: Yeah, yeah, boo me all you want because all that I care about is the fact that your hero stays exactly where she belongs, at the very bottom of this company, you understand? You see, when Terri came out and hooked that LONE Championship around The Glorious One’s waist? She KNEW that she had lost to the better woman, clean might I add and so being the poor sport that she is, she had her girlfriend jump over the barricade and assault one of THEE biggest legends to EVER grace our business and why? Because she didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t get the job done.

The crowd gets crazier as trash is being thrown into the ring already.

Stevenson: See... This is the kind of behavior that I am talking about. You ungrateful people throwing trash into the ring and at me simply because you don’t like hearing the truth. Look, what happened was what we call justice. Wendy cannot go around kicking people in the back of the legs simply because she’s upset that her girlfriend lost. I will NOT let that happen, absolutely not because I am a fair man, I am a man who believes in the justice system and quite frankly? That little bitch got what she deserves.

Lowering the microphone again while shrugging his shoulders, more trash comes flying into the ring, specifically hitting Stevenson right in the chest as he looks down at his very expensive jacket and nods his head with a very arrogant smirk expressed on his face, obviously frustrated.

Stevenson: I know you’re back there Terri and I know you’re hanging on to my every word. So... Since you have taught these little punks to be so ungrateful, let me correct the problem. From here on out? In every single match that you have, if you hit the Mind in the Gutter then guess what? You will find yourself disqualified, immediately, and you will be punished for disobeying my laws around here, are we clear?

Looking down at his platinum Rolex, he then brings his attention back up to where the camera is positioned.

Stevenson: Oh and I know that you just arrived and everything since I saw you putting your things in the back but I suggest that you bring your happy little ass out here, right now because well — you and Alison Crowne are going up against Faye Qent and The Glorious One and that match? Oh yeah, it’s NEXT!

Dropping the microphone down onto the canvas, it makes a small crackling sound as Stevenson quickly exits the ring and walks up the ramp as these fans are absolutely livid.

North: Hello and welcome to Supremacy: LONE 8 New Years Rising! And I can’t believe what I just heard, Terri Thompson and Alison Crowne versus The Glorious One and Faye Qent, right now?

DIC: Yeah but the question is, how is Terri going to get the job done since Stevenson just banned her from using the Mind in the Gutter? Personally? I’m glad that Stevenson has finally put that hooligan in her place because it’s long overdue and we both know that Bux wouldn’t have the balls to do any of this.

North: It isn’t a matter of balls DIC, Stevenson is abusing his power, plain as day and everyone knows it, including you.

DIC: Don’t put words in my mouth. I am on good terms with Mr. Stevenson and I plan to keep it that way. You want to keep your job? I would highly suggest that you do the same North.

With nothing but silence, Terri Thompson steps out from behind the curtain to a massive applause from this capacity crowd. She's wearing the same tanktop from her promo reel and her usual denim jeans and black combat boots.

North: No matter what Stevenson does to her, this capacity crowd absolutely LOVES Terri.

DIC: That’s because she’s a hooligan, just like them.

North: Oh stop it!

"Pretty" Fay Qent & The Glorious One vs. Royal Plunder ("Gutter Trash" Terri Thompson & Alison Crowne)

Walking down the ramp filled with determination and some anger, Terri takes the complete opposite approach and makes sure to slap the fans hands showing her love back for them in return.

North: This is absolutely absurd, it seems like Stevenson has even taken away her introduction; how much lower will the man go?

DIC: Lower? The man is simply doing his job, whether you like it or not.

Having climbed inside of the ring, Terri makes her way over to the farthest turnbuckle where she leans up against it and waits for the arrival of her partner, Alison Crowne.

Baxter: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Baxter: Already in the ring, from Fallcoast Maine, she is Terri Thompson. And her partner, making her way to the ring, hailing from Gainesville, Florida, she is ALISOOOON CROOWWWNNNEEE! They make up the tag team ROYAAAAL PLUNDEEEER!

With “King for a Day” by Faith No More playing over the public address sound system, she comes out from behind the curtain with a very stern look on her face, definitely ready to get down to action so she can get her hands on Qent.

North: Look at how determined Alison is right now, she is ready to tear into Qent after what has happened recently.

Climbing into the ring as well, she walks over to Terri and the two embrace in a friendly hug.

Baxter: And their opponents...

Immediately playing over the public address sound system is “Pretty Vacant” by The Sex Pistols as Fay Qent steps out onto the stage and narrows her beautiful eyes while staring a hole right through Crowne.

Baxter: Making her way to the ring, hailing from Fallcoast, Maine, she is “PRETTY” FAAAAY QEEEENNNTTT!

Ignoring everyone around her, she makes haste and slides into the ring from under the bottom rope. Standing across the ring from both Terri and Crowne, this woman means business and for her, business is always good.

DIC: Qent is going to murder both of these women tonight and you know what North? I can’t wait!

North: There’s no doubt that she has been incredibly dominant ever since making her debut but tonight could very well be her biggest challenge so far in LONE.

While rolling her shoulders, getting ready for action, a beautiful symphony begins to play over the public address sound system as coming out first just so happens to be the legendary manager, Mark Robertson who is still confined to a wheelchair but definitely looking much better. Rolling out onto the stage, behind him trails the LONE Champion, The Glorious One wearing a very expensive diamond studded robe with the most prestigious title in our business today, the LONE Championship strapped around her waist.

Baxter: And her partner, hailing from Hollywood, California, she is managed by Mark Robertson and is the LONE CHAMPION... SHE IS... THE GLOOORIOUUUS OONNNEEE!

Walking down the ramp very slowly, as if to prolong this match, she smiles a very wide, toothy grin knowing that everyone in this arena despises her simply because she is the best thing going in this business today.

DIC: And there she is, the woman of woman’s, THEE LONE CHAMPION herself; The Glorious One!

Taking off her robe as well as championship belt, she places them in Mark’s lap and then enters into the ring, her respective corner getting ready for the match as the referee signals for the opening bell.

Ding... Ding... Ding...

Starting the match off is Qent versus Terri. Circling around each other, trying to get a feel for the other person, they embrace in a collar and elbow tie up as Qent shoves Terri away which causes her to stumble back in the turnbuckle as this puts a smile on the face of Qent. Walking out of the turnbuckle while nodding her head, they go to embrace in another collar and elbow tie up but this time, Terri knees Qent in the midsection and quickly hoists her up hitting a scoop slam. Arching her back in pain, Terri drops to her knees and quickly applies a seated headlock trying to keep Qent grounded.

North: Terri already on the offensive. She is keeping Qent off of her feet and if you know anything about these two women at all, this is rather unorthodox but very smart planning by Terri.

DIC: Oh please! Nothing Terri does is “smart”; let’s be real here.

North: What’s wrong with you? Seriously? Terri is the former LONE Champion and you would be a fool to count her out.

DIC: It’s a proven fact, yes proven that The Glorious One has her number so as far as I am concerned? This one is already over.

North: Yeah, well, we’ll see about that.

After keeping the headlock applied for several moments, Qent fights to her feet and when she gets there — she hoists Terri into the air hitting a backdrop bridging it into a pin.

One...

Two...

Terri presses her shoulder off of the canvas. Rising to their feet, Qent blasts Terri with an explosive clothesline that folds her inside out as she lies there motionless.

DIC: My GOD Qent just killed Terri!

Walking over to her corner, she tags in Glorious One. Entering the ring to a chorus of boos; Glorious One quickly applies a seated headlock to Terri and really torques back applying pressure on the neck area.

North: Both Qent and The Glorious One are really working on the neck area of Terri. Smart move as it will take away much of her offense.

Releasing the hold, Glorious One stomps on the back shoulder area of Terri causing her to rithe in severe pain. Yanking Terri up to her feet, Glorious One hits a stiff knife edge chop to the chest of Terri as the fans “WOOOO” loudly. Fighting back, Terri throws several stiff punches which rocks Glorious One back and after taking a step back, she comes in with a clothesline which takes Glorious One off of her feet and down to the canvas, hard.

North: Terri showing great tenacity right now.

Walking over and picking The Glorious One up to her feet; Terri Irish whips her into the turnbuckle with such force that she strikes the turnbuckle and bounces out clutching her back. Not wasting any time, she is met with two feet to the face as Terri hooks the leg after that drop kick.

One...

Two...

Thr..

North: CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR!

DIC: You’re not going to put the champion away that easily.

Shaking her arm to work out the kinks, Terri picks Glorious One up and again, throws her into the turnbuckle. Quickly making her way over there, she hoists The Glorious One up and puts her upside down in the turnbuckle in a Tree of Woe position. Quickly entering the ring, Crowne starts making a camera motion as Terri runs to one end of the ring and then returns with another drop kick right to the face of The Glorious One. Exiting the ring after “recording” Terri, she is tagged into the match as this capacity crowd erupts into cheers.

North: Listen to these fans, they love Crowne!

With The Glorious One still upside down, you can hear Robertson on the outside screaming to the referee that he needs to help The Glorious One. Walking over to the turnbuckle, Crowne begins to stomp on the helpless body of Glorious One as these fans are exploding in cheers. Finally falling out of the turnbuckle, Crowne yanks Glorious One up to her feet and starts hitting several forearm shots to her face as all she can do is cover up to the best of her ability. Coming in from behind, Qent blasts Crowne in the back which drops her down onto the ropes. Slapping Crowne’s back to make the tag, Terri enters the ring as Qent drops her down to the canvas with a stiff knee.

North: This thing is starting to get out of control.

DIC: Just the way I like it!

Grabbing Crowne by the hair and tossing her out of the ring, she then exits the ring as both women begin to fight up the ramp.

North: This thing no longer contained, at all.

With both women legal and in the ring, they begin getting up. With Terri stalking Glorious One, she looks to hit the Mind in the Gutter but remembers that she can’t so instead, she decides to utilize a DDT instead as she hits it and this crowd is going absolutely wild. Hooking the leg, she pulls back as far as she can as the referee drops down to make the count.

One...

Two...

North: YES! YES! COME ON TERRI!

Three!!!

NO! Right before slapping the canvas, the referee stops the count and begins to rub his shoulder as if he is having some severe shoulder pain right now. Looking at the referee in pure rage, Terri yells at him to make the damn count as he rises to his feet and points at his shoulder letting Terri know he is having some issues right now.

North: What the? You have GOT to be kidding me right now?

DIC: Poor referee, them shoulder pains can really take it out of you.

North: Shoulder pain my ass!

Rising to her feet now, she argues with the referee which gives Glorious One time to recover. Spinning around, Terri kicks her in the midsection and hits yet another DDT which flattens Glorious One. Falling down on top of her, she demands that the referee count as she drops down to do so.

One............

............ Two........

........... Thr.........

With the count being incredibly slow, this gives Robertson enough time to drive his wheelchair over there and place her foot on the bottom rope.

North: This is RIDICULOUS! Stevenson has obviously paid off the referee and there’s absolutely nothing Terri can do about it.

DIC: Are we watching the same match? From what I can see, everything has been called right down the middle.

North: You’re blind then, DIC!

Slapping the canvas in rage, Terri starts arguing with the referee as The Glorious One slowly crawls to the ropes and uses them to get to her feet. Standing behind Terri, The Glorious One grabs Terri and hits the Spotlight while falling on top of Terri.

One.. Two.. THREE!!!

North: Terri was screwed, plain and simple!

DIC: That is not even true. What happened was that Glorious One proved yet again that she is the premier woman in this company and nobody can beat her.

With that incredibly fast count, the referee bolts out of the ring as does Glorious One who is given her LONE Championship.

Baxter: The winners of the match, the LOOOONNNEEE CHAMPION; THEEEE GLOOORIOOUUUS OOONNNEEE AND “PRETTY” FAAAAYYY QEEEENNNTTT!!!

With large smiles expressed over their faces, they taunt Terri as this capacity crowd is livid and throwing things at them as they head up the ramp.

After match Interview with "Gutter Trash" Terri Thompson

Terri slowly rolls out of the ring, clutching her back and soon disappearing behind the curtain. The Titantron lights up to show Linda Edwards with microphone in hand racing towards Terri Thompson after her loss in the tag match we just witnessed. Thompson stops, nursing her back with her right hand.

Edwards: Terri... a heartbreaking defeat just now in your tag match with your partner Alison Crowne against The Glorious One and Pretty Fay Qent.

Thompson: Heartbreaking? Yeah, I guess you could call it heartbreaking. You could also call it a damn ripoff! A payoff! Did you see how quick that ref ran off? Scampered like a scared little turd!

Terri is visibly upset, face reddening and tone rising when she exclaims. This causes Edwards to watch her cautiously.

Edwards: Terri, I've got to ask you, with everything that has been going on, everything that Drew Stevenson has been doing to you..... How do you feel?

There's compassion in Edwards' voice as she asks.

Thompson: You know what, Linda? I'll tell you how I feel! I feel... hurt. I ain't scared to admit it! I feel hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally! Physically because I just got my ass kicked by a powerhouse and the champ. Mentally because of everything Drew Stevenson has been doing to me and emotionally because my girlfriend is in a goddamn cell and the last time I got to hold her was right before she was taken away in handcuffs and I got my clock cleaned! My only friend I got around here is right now brawling somebody who has been breezing through the competition here so she's too busy mixed up with all that! Geez... I sound like I should write a country song about it. I should go see my buddies Jim and Jack, they're the only ones who could help me right now.

Edwards: Jim and... Jack...?

Edwards sounds confused as she asks.

Thompson: Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. They're the only ones who could help me right now with my neck and my back...

Terri pauses.

Thompson: Not the rest of that song... You know how it goes. Well... I guess they could help me with my ass since it just got kicked... but my nether region is fine.

Edwards: O... kay...

Thompson: Look, I'm in a lot of pain right now. So much pain, from all angles, and it's all because of Drew Stevenson.

Thompson grips the top of the microphone, just under the mic head, while Edwards holds onto it. Edwards starts to slowly let go of it to let Terri take the microphone. Terri points with her left forefinger towards the camera.

Thompson: Drew Stevenson, you've had a vendetta for me since the beginning, and now you're using what my girlfriend did to Mark Robertson as an excuse to try and punish me. She did something that I don't condone, but you know what? You can continue to punish me for the actions of another. That's all right. You can take my theme music and my finisher from me, that's all right. You can take my name, that's all right, but you know what you can't take, Drew?

She jabs her forefinger into her chest.

Thompson: You can't take my heart. You can't take my heart because I'm going to keep coming until all of these wrongs are righted. The Glorious One screwed me, and I dropped the ball because I let that happen. You can try to justify it and say it was clean. Whatever helps you sleep at night. The only thing clean about you are your suits and your money, and I'm starting to doubt the latter after what just happened now. Now I can't prove it, but I know.

She waves her left hand up and over the top of the camera frame.

Thompson: ALL these people know that you paid off that ref to fast count me. You took away my finisher and I STILL had The Glorious One beat because I had her unconscious. You did this... You're DOING this because you're scared. Because you KNOW I'm a threat, and you can throw whatever hurdle you want at me and I'll just continue to prove that I'm the threat you're scared of. I'd tell you if you think differently that I'd put your mind in the gutter, but you're dirty, Drew. You're dirty and I know your mind is already there. In the gutter. With me. And one day, it'll just be you and me, in the gutter, all alone. So you can keep on pampering The Glorious One. You can keep on looking out for her and Robertson but at the end of the day, I'm gonna show you that you should've heeded the words of your partner and my Idol, Frank Washington, and that's you should've looked out for Number One.

Her eyes fall on Linda.

Thompson: Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go see Jack and Jim...

Linda gently takes her microphone back as Terri starts to walk off and the camera focuses on Linda, who is still watching Terri.

Linda: Thank you, Ms. Thompson... For your time...

Linda turns to the camera now, looking uneasy after that.

Slapp vs. "The Perfect Shot" Penelope Silven

Baxter: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!

"Chicken Huntin" by the Insane Clown Posse blasts on the PA as out emerges two women in Juggalo facepaint.

Baxter: On the way to the ring! From The Big Tent on 9th Street! Accompanied by Tick L. She is... SLAAAAAAAAAPP!

Slapp and Tick L. march down the aisle, dressed in cargo pants and ICP gear, trying to look as tough and intimidating as possible for a pair of face painted women. Slapp slides into the ring and raises her fists in the air in the center of the ring while the crowd rains down a chorus of boos upon her. Tick L. waits at ringside.

Sabaton's "White Death" soon starts and out from the curtain emerges "The Perfect Shot" Penelope Silven, dressed in a sports bra, shorts held up by a studded belt, and wrestling boots. Her top is a bright orange with a purple trim, same for her shorts and the belt is also purple. In the center of her top is the image of a sniper scope. Her boots are the same hue of orange with the soles and a part of the middle of the boots colored purple. She makes gun motions with both hands and points them towards the ring. Bang bang!

Baxter: And her opponent, from The Other Side of the Scope! THE PERFECT SHOT PENELOPEEEEE SIIILVEN!

Penelope Silven walks down the aisle, slapping hands with a few fans before climbing the stairs and stepping through the ropes. She climbs onto the middle ropes of the nearest turnbuckle and throws her hands up into the air, then makes the gun motion again towards the fans. She jumps down and then hops in place, waiting for the match to start.

DING DING

North: Silven in action here tonight in her professional debut.

DIC: I swear I thought she was a sentient twig when I first saw her, she is abnormally tall for a chick. Her outfit makes me want a Fanta though. She looks like a giant bottle of Fanta orange!

North: Would you stop! And she's about six foot, somewhere in that neighborhood.

DIC: I'm not sure whether that makes her an amazon or not but she's in the hood here tonight. Normally I'd say that means the odds are against her but the hood rats have a plan.

North: It's unorthodox to be sure.

DIC: That said in a battle of freaks I gotta go with the freakiest of the bunch and going down with the clown, ya dig?

North: For the last time, listening to Wu Tang doesn't make you street.

DIC: DIC ain't nothin to f-

North: Easy.

Silven measures up Slapp as she methodically circles around the ring, glancing at ringside occasionally to keep an eye on Tick L. Finally they engage in a collar and elbow tieup as Slapp quickly slaps Silven in a side headlock. Slapp laughs and grins at the ease in which she was able to trap her foe but Silven manages to slip out and apply a headlock of her own! Silven's form was impeccable as Slapp began to flail her arms around feeling trapped! Either out of instinct or pure dumb luck Slapp felt her hand grab onto something – the official's shirt and she clutched onto it for all she's worth asking for help! The referee stumbles as he gets caught up, leaving Silven no choice but to break the hold. Slapp then holds onto the referee for an excessively long time as a shield causing loud booing to erupt from the crowd.

North: If that isn't desperation I don't know what is. Silven seemed to be squeezing the life out of Slapp there in that hold.

DIC: You gotta take every advantage you can, Kev. If Silven were so perfect she'd know that.

Finally the referee manages to slip free as he shares a few stern words with Slapp. Slapp then sidesteps an oncoming elbow from Silven and starts brawling with a flurry of lefts and rights forcing the newcomer to a knee. Slapp quickly runs to and rebounds off the ropes looking to hit with a stiff knee to the temple but Silven wisely drops to the mat instead to avoid the impact. Slapp stumbles forward having completely missed as Silven pops back up with Silven hitting a beautiful belly-to-belly suplex when her foe turns around.

North: Crisp, very crisp belly-to-belly there. Living up to her name already.

DIC: I'm a little surprised she had the flexibility to avoid cracking her own head on the mat.

North: You're acting like she's 8 feet tall.

DIC: Do you know how unnatural it is for a chick to be that tall? I'm surprised she's not in the WNBA instead; of course nobody actually watches that. At least she's smart enough to follow the money.

North: Do you feel like you've done your good deed of the day?

DIC: Hell, I've done two, she's still hot in that freakish way. See? Two.

North: Sarcasm is lost on you.

Slapp is rattled from the impact as she laid on her back as Tick L. winces appearing to have felt a little bit of that herself by standing near close proximity. Silven spread out her arms to play to the crowd, taking time to play off to each side but suddenly she feels her legs leave the ground, Slapp rolls her up on her back for the pin with a fistful of tights! 1, 2, KICKOUT!

North: Slapp almost stole one just now with the tights.

DIC: If the referee doesn't see it that means it's 100% legal. If you can win without going to your Plan A take it.

Slapp slams her fists into Silven as she shields herself on the ground. Slapp then eagerly motions to Tick L. who reaches under the ring and tosses an old bottle of root beer to her. Slapp sizes Silven up for The Joke... but then decides to take a swig from the bottle. She twists the cap off... and gets sprayed in the eyes by her own soda!

North: The Joke is on Slapp!

DIC: She got greedy, I mean come on who drinks Faygo?

North: I drink Faygo; Detroit has good soda and cars.

DIC: The D-I-C is all about that name brand, Coke or nothing. But I guess that what makes a clown a clown; just better keep that soda put away when she's around me.

Tick L. quickly gets into the ring as the The Joke ends up being at Slapp's expense. Silven pops up during the ensuing chaos and not wanting to get caught up in any further antics makes quick work of Tick L. clotheslining her over the top rope! Silven then quickly ascends to the top rope herself as Slapp is trying to regain her eyesight leaving the next thing she saw being the last she would remember of the match as she opened her eyes just in time to see Silven standing on the top turnbuckle, raising her hands like guns and pointing them at her before flying off and hitting her with the Dead Aim (Shooting Star Press)! With the legs hooked she pins her opponent, 1, 2, 3!

Baxter: Here is your winner... The Perfect Shot, Penelope Silven!

North: Silven with an impressive victory but Tick L. better recover and quick, her match is immediately next!

DIC: That's not fair, give her a 10 minute rest period! How can you expect anyone to be ready after such a disgusting cheap shot?

North: Silven wanted to win fair and square.

DIC: Oh shut it, boy scout.

Tick L. vs Vixen

Baxter gets into the ring to announce the next match immediately.

Baxter: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Baxter: Already in the ring, from the Big Tent on 9th Street... She is TIIIICK L!

Tick L. had slid into the ring, and when her name was called she threw up her hands and gets the same treatment as her partner in the last match.

“The Fox” by The Chainsmokers featuring Calvin Harris hits over the public address sound system as the fans give Vixen a solid ovation.

Baxter: And making her way to the ring, hailing from Hanging Hills, Maine — she is — VIXXXEEENNNN!

Before walking down the aisle and slapping some of the fans’ hands, she stops at the commentators table and points at DIC, then pinches her nose and shoos him away with her other hand, as if he's the one who smells.

DIC: Oh go crawl in a hole and die!

Vixen sticks her tongue out at him and when she gets to ringside, she rolls in and spreads her hands out, spinning in the circle while the fans cheer her on.

DING DING

North: Vixen is ready, she smells an opportunity to potentially finish this one quick.

DIC: She smells; I'll agree with that. Smells like she's been dumpster diving with Terri Thompson. And she's got the nerve to tell me -I- smell! She's definitely not used to the scent of fine cologne! Anyway, I hope Stevenson fines the official for such an unprofessional practice though. There's no way Tick L. is ready, she got cheap shotted just a few minutes ago!

Tick L. starts off not quite at 100% against Vixen as they tie up in the middle of the ring in a collar and elbow tie up. Vixen slips behind and traps Tick L. in a hammerlock as she throws a few swift kicks to her legs to test her wobbly foe. Tick L. however manages to put up a bit of resistance as she breaks free after swinging her free elbow back several times to Vixen's head, forcing her to release the hold. Tick L. charges forward with a sloppy shoulder block that connects just enough to knock Vixen down at the cost of tumbling down to the mat right next to her.

DIC: See, see?! She can barely defend herself!

North: I mean, that wasn't pretty but she did hit enough of that shoulder block.

DIC: Instinct, pure instinct.

North: I mean she did take a good lump from Silven but it's not like she's had a whole match's worth before this.

DIC: You see Mike Tyson lately Kev-O? He talks to pigeons and thought it'd be smart to rip off Scooby Doo starring himself and a talking pigeon! She could be out there with a concussion right now.

Tick L. gets up to a knee but falls back down allowing Vixen to recover first as she reaches a knee and throws a punch to her opponent's head. Tick L. throws a punch back. Vixen throws another, followed by another from Tick L. Vixen fires off two punches before getting back to her feet. Tick L. fires off another punch but hits nothing but air before faceplanting back to the mat. Vixen decides to take a moment to play to the crowd as she slides out of the ring and finds the (by now) half empty bottle of root beer and takes a swig of it!

DIC: Come on... lock her up! Vixen's fingers are so damn sticky she'd make Bonnie and Clyde blush!

North: Well its not like Slapp and Tick L. are making any real effort to show that they wanted it beyond a way to cheat.

DIC: It's not hers!

North: They probably stole that from the concession stand.

DIC: You are so not down with the clown.

Meanwhile Slapp begins to slowly stir near the ring apron, recovering from her little Silven induced nap from the match prior as she begins to pull herself up by the ring apron. Vixen twists the cap back on the soda and placing it near her corner before sliding back n the ring to finish business with Tick L. Tick L. gets back to her feet as Slapp barrels into the ring and attacks Tick L.!

North: Well, that's it. This match is going to get thrown out.

DIC: An easy win! After everything that has gone wrong for them tonight the deserve a little something.

Vixen kind of just stares and sits down on the mat watching with morbid curiosity as Slapp begins to hammer down blows upon Tick L., hitting harder and harder trying to draw a disqualification and failing to get one. The referee needless to say wasn't expressed as Slapp slowly stopped and turned to the ref, confused as to why Tick L. hasn't been declared the winner by disqualification yet. With a shake of the head the referee signals to eject Slapp from ringside! Slapp protests as she pleads for Vixen to be disqualified for outside interference but the official won't buy any of it!

North: The referee seems to be in on their plan to artificially rack up a win, I guess that's what happens when you plot with the camera rolling. I guess they didn't think this one through.

DIC: This is the first time in my life that I've seen a ref so blatantly ignore a disqualification worthy offense in broad daylight and do nothing about it. What kind of screwjob promotion is Bux trying to run? Stevenson, please drain the swamp!

North: Oh brother...

DIC: What, you can't tell me Vixen and Terri don't smell like they just crawled out of one! In fact I heard that Fallcoast was built on top of a swamp long time ago.

North: You are so clearly reaching at this point.

Slapp reluctantly begins to walk to the back as Vixen slowly got back up to her feet as Tick L. crawls to the ropes looking confused. Tick L. then gets up to question the ref but only eats a Tiger Feint Kick for her trouble instead! Vixen goes for the cover... 1, 2, 3!

Baxter: Here is your winner, Vixen!

North: Just goes to show, if you plot in front of a camera everyone is going to be wise to your scheme.

Vixen scoops up the bottle of soda and swigs back another drink in celebration as she heads to the back.

After match Segment

The lights dim once more and the titantron comes to life. Moments after back to back defeats Slapp and Tick L. are seen backstage limping to the locker room bruised, battered, and defeated.

Tick L: What was that about? We were supposed to make out of this like a bandit and WOOP WOOP with all our homies in the crib!

Slapp: Tell me what the WOOP that was all about. You were supposed to club me in my match but instead you got laid out yourself!

Tick L: You pointed your soda the wrong way.

Slapp: Well excuse me, you know how sacred Faygo Root Beer is! You know how many times I've been hit in the face with one of those at the Gathering? It tastes good and it even burns my eyes soooo good.

Tick L. pauses before shrugging.

Tick L.: Ok, you got me there. Nothing like that sweet Faygo shower partying with the homies and fam. But why wasn't the ref blowing his whistle and giving us that sweet DQ?

Slapp: I dunno... these dudes are super smart. I mean I've seen so many matches on TV where the zebra dude would call the match off after someone's friend interfered; it should work.

Tick L.: I know! I mean, what could we possibly be doing wrong? Is it because the FBI thinks we're a gang so the rules don't apply?

Slapp: Gang? Psssh we're a family! We listen to real classical music, not Butthoven and Michelangelo the third ninja turtle.

Tick L. tries to think for a moment before nodding enthusiastically.

Tick L.: Or what about Fettuccine? Come on fam.

Slapp: The microwavable dinner?

Tick L.: Nah, although his dinner is delicious. But man the dude's music stinks! Lame! Our kind of music touches real life! It's deep as fuck!

Slapp: So, like, I'm thinking, since we keep fucking up trying to do it where we hit each other, why don't we try and hit our opponents on purpose, and we fuck it up and end up hitting each other so we finally get it right!

Tick L's eyes widen

Tick L.: ..... You're good... REAL Good!

Slapp: ........ The best!

Segment: Sister Catherine/Stitches

Coming Soon!