I was not an ordinary child. They say, that when you are born the hand of God touches you gently in order to paint you, give you a shadow, and guide you to the start of your destiny. He makes all of us special in something, but at the same time he creates a weakness in us. He is afraid, that if we won't have a weakness, someone might take his throne from him. He can't fight the greed for power, which exists in the heart of each animal, even inside the deepest corners of his own soul. We all are animals, after all. We all are ready to bite each other throats if that would mean our survival.
He forgot to touch me or maybe he was afraid of me. After all, there are people, who are made by the Devil. These creatures are usually so similar to the ones made by God, that it becomes the reason why these people are so frightening. At the same time, there are just forgotten souls. They wander around lost until they find a vessel to take over. That's how they are born. These people usually have a choice. They can sign a pact with a Devil, or they can sign treaty with God.
Likely, I was a forgotten, lost soul: not touched by God, overlooked by the Devil. I was a Tabula Rasa born to a huge family during a snowstorm, with a famine in our tiny forgotten village which was hiding in the misty corner of Siberia. It was 1990. The time, when the Soviet Union reached it's end and was trying to lick its wounds. The first thing I saw was the sad and worried face of my mother Karina. The second thing I saw was my drunk father's angry face. He was called Ivan Ivanovich. Then I saw too many faces: the tired and wrinkled faces of my grandparents, and the excited features of my four sisters and six brothers.
I was as pale as a snow, I did not have colour. They all tried to smile, but deep in their thoughts... Those people were burying me already. I was such a weak baby, that I did not even cry. Even if I would have survived, Siberia required strong and healthy inhabitants. But I did not give up. Barely fertile land and the almost empty pockets of my parents had to feed another mouth.
I was the little one, so I was always at the end of the row. I barely got a corner of bread. So, I grew up not just weak, but also as thin as a twig of aspen. But as my brothers liked to say: "She grows more and more beautiful with each day. Papa, she will go to the capital. She will find a rich husband." It always made father smile. A rich husband could bring a happier future to many of my family members.
When I grew older, I spent my time with my grandfather Ivan Ivanovich (They all were named Ivan, indeed. That was a tradition. To call your first born child Ivan). My grandfather was a very clever man and he made a true library of his room. Where did he get all these books? I am not sure. He kept telling me stories about the times when the government ordered to burn all the books not suitable to the theory of Marxism. He was responsible for controlling such a horrible crime. So, he hid all the books he could.
I went to school and I was the cleverest child they have ever seen. It was in my genes, or maybe it was a fruit of my grandfather’s lessons. I did really good, though. I graduated school with the best marks possible. That's how I got a free spot into a Law School in Moscow. My brothers' words came true. I finally got a chance to leave to go to the capital.
Of course, my parents kept talking how I must find a rich husband. They cared little for knowledge. They still believed that a woman can't do much within our society. It did irritate me a lot, to be honest. I was happy to leave, I hoped to find more like-minded people. Though, the capital and Law studies revealed to me the fact, that the actual world is even darker than in Siberia.
I had ups and downs, but at the end I graduated from my Law Studies at the University and started to look for a job. I was hired by a famous law firm. It was a business entity formed by a group of famous lawyers to engage in the practice of law. The primary service rendered by a law firm was to advise clients (individuals or corporations) about their legal rights and responsibilities, and to represent clients in civil or criminal cases, business transactions, and other matters in which legal advice and other assistance are sought. I was magnificent there! When I got cases, I never lost. I was so good, that I happened to be too good.
Our politics are really shady. I crossed the path of a group of very bad and influential people, who were very close friends with the head of our country. I had no other options but to run away or mysteriously disappear like people do in our country. My boss knew a very good boss of the Law Firm in the City of Hope, in America. He wrote a recommendation. I got in as defense attorney. That's how I ended up here, leaving my whole family behind. I did not bring a husband to them. But I never owed anything to them. They never cared much of me, except as something to sell to a man.
I grew into a different woman. I can reach a lot, I can fight for justice, and I can become an independent, powerful woman one day without help of any males.
