Jeff

Introduction  Sexy Vampires R Us  "You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. Not gently. Like, it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence. You should star in your own horror films! Because you look like Freddy Kreuger face fucked a topographical map of Utah." Jeff is one ugly piece of work. Standing at roughly six feet tall, it's impossible to tell exactly what ethnicity he held in life, as he looks like he spent time rolling around in a bonfire. His skin has the shiny, tight appearance of grievous burns, the texture warped and stiffly wrinkled to the touch. His coloring is mottled and chaotic, pale and dark in turns and sometimes even reddish or greenish in spots. There's not a scrap of hair on his skinny form; all thin, wiry muscle and lack of body fat that lends him much more of a skeletal appearance as opposed to something more physically fit. He wears a pair of cargo shorts and seems entirely unembarrassed about showing off his legs, with white tube socks up to mid calf and sandals on his feet. That's right, tube socks AND sandals. Likewise, he wears a loud, bright, gaudy Hawaiian shirt with short sleeves that's about as ugly as he is, with a tank top on underneath. No shame at all in showing off his twiggy arms or boney hands. His face is where things get worse. The flesh of his nose is noticeably receded, his face stiffly wrinkled and pinched like an undead sphincter of apparent burn tissue atop a skinny, boney neck. His browless eyes are always covered by a pair of mirrored aviator shades and his mouth is a mess of crooked snaggle teeth, his two front teeth long, curved a bit oddly and quite pointy un-retractable fangs. It's hard to tell if they impair his speech much as he usually sounds like he's fucked up on something and speaks through teeth clenched around a cigarette in a short plastic holder. His head is completely bald and the tops of his ears are pointed with an exaggerated back sweep of length, resting quite comfortably under the brim of a white bucket hat. This guy is set for looking like douchebag at the beach! "I am sorry, you are... haunting. Your face is the stuff of nightmares." "Like a testicle with teeth." "You will die alone. I mean, if you could die. Ideally, for others' sake." [ edit ] Gallery Jeff and Rudy Moose and Squirrel [ edit ]

Jeff [ edit ] Overview Name(?): Jefferson Alester Preston Hardwick Clan: Nosferatu Generation: A lady never tells. Sect: Camarilla Nature: Perfectionist Demeanor: Bon Vivant Played-By: Hunter S. Thompson [ edit ] Notable Stats Appearance: Flaw: Permanent Fangs (3) Flaw: Prey Exclusion (1): Children Flaw: New Arrival (1) Flaw: Sire's Resentment (1) Flaw: Botched Presentation (1): Hollywood Merit: Like I'm gonna tell you! [ edit ] Soundtrack I'm Your Boogyman - White Zombie Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks, Cannibal Girls - White Zombie White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane Sexy And I Know It - LMFAO World Up My Ass - Puscifer U.L.G.Y. - Daphne and Celeste Toe Jam - The BPA Royals - Lorde Chandelier - Sia Hello - Adel I Miss You - Blink 182 [ edit ]