Wyatt slack journal

The in-character journal of Wyatt Slack

Notable Entries:

August 27 - 2017

This morning my world changed. I know, everybody says that after tripping for the first time, but I'm serious. She came to me in the sunrise and I was reborn. I understand. I'm not sure how to process this but I know I'm changed. And I know what task She set for me. I just hope I have the strength to do it. It is amazing and terrible. I was weeping with happiness and terror at what She showed me. And at the feeling of Her grace bringing something out of me that never existed before. Me, but more. The best Wyatt that could be. I'm sad that isn't better, that there isn't more to me, to do Her work.

I still don't understand why She picked such a flawed vessel, but that's not up to me. My task, my purpose is clear.

---

December 30 - 2017

Thank Gaia for Uncle Teddy. He had to put his foot down with the elders and tell them that I wasn't crazy and there was someplace I needed to be that wasn't home. We worked out a compromise I'm not happy with, but when the wisest of the elders speaks in Her name, it gets done. I feel weird being put out to stud. Not like I don't like either Laura or Diana, but it feels weird being a ...donor, this way. It wouldn't have been my choice on a lot of levels. But it continues the family line and buys me freedom to go do what I need to do.

---

March 15 - 2018

Well, both of them are far enough along that the elders are letting me go, even if they don't really understand why. How do I even talk about this without sounding like I'm crazy? Or arrogant? I mean, it borders on being sacrilegious just to say that She spoke with me in my heart. But I am changed. The way the fights break up, the way I can feel the living breath of spirit move through me, the way I'm connected, able to do things I never could before, that's not imaginary.

Off to Prospect, California. I'd never heard of it before that morning. Now my life (and maybe death) with be there. Is it weird to be excited? I know that the end of days will be in my lifetime. And She wants me to show as many people as I can that they can live with nature, even in the city. To feed them. To show them how to feed themselves. And live in balance with Her, even in an urban wasteland. Because humans won't give up their cities, even when the worst happens. But maybe people can be taught how to live in those cities in ways that preserve the balance.

---

March 28 - 2018

I made it here. It is strange settling into a whole new world. A new [Ed: A word is scribbled over here]. Meeting a lot of new people. It's more free here than back home but I miss seeing a reflection of my face, my voice, the way I walk and think and a wealth of shared experiences that I had back home. I'm kin, here, but it's more theoretical than visceral. I'm surprised by how much that hurts. I am itching to get started on The Work, but before I can do that, I have to find a job to keep body and soul together. I guess being enlightened and all doesn't mean I don't have to eat.

Interesting people here. Most of the men are too damned tall, though. Never thought of myself as short before, but damned if I've met anybody under six feet. And I met somebody who seems to see what I've become. That scares me a little, but it is what it is. She wouldn't have sent me here if I couldn't do Her will. Just may mean I have to work harder to get there.

---

March 30 -2018

Well, working at Smoke And Barley is hardly working, really. There's always something to be done, but none of is digging fence post holes or bailing hay, I'll tell you that. This town is fast-paced. And it feels a little strange how fluid the caste system among us and our more important cousins is here. The former anthropology student in me has thoughts. But the Wyatt I'm putting front and center here is the part of me that is a sheltered good old boy. Which is true. It just isn't all there is to me. But as much as I don't like not being entirely forthcoming, I recognize that if I'm going do my work, I need to fly under the radar.

Speaking of which, I'm starting to walk the city now, trying to see where they need me most. The disparity of wealth here is a little shocking. I mean, reading about it and actually seeing it are two different things. The plan is to start volunteer work with local groups and churches and build up trust before I start talking about long-term plans. What the poorest communities here don't need is another white boy outsider with Big Ideas. So I have to pay my dues. All part of Her plan. Unfortunately, there are no short cuts.

---

April 6 - 2018

I decided to try to commune with Her again last night, via the last of peyote. No amount of honey in the world makes that tea taste good. I spent the night under the stars and when the visions came, it was as though I was traveling through time, attuned to the cycles of the earth. The seasons came and went a hundred times in one night, spring with new hope and life, summer with the richness of youth and promise, autumn with the bounty of the fields and the kindness of age and winter, with the harsh lessons of death and stark icy truth. It was glorious and terrifying. Another part of me opened to Her and now I am even closer to Her grace. I am more aligned with my own primal nature and Her fundamental truth. Balance is in all things. It is as simple of that. Even in the darkest, most hopeless place, the problem is simply that things have gone too far one way or the other. I don't have to fix the world. Just help balance a little corner of it. That I can do. Now more than ever.