Difference between revisions of "Richard Cromwell/Home"

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(Created page with "The USDA once wanted to make cows produce milk faster; their best chance at improving the dairy industry. They decided to consult the foremost biologists and recombinant DNA ...")
 
m (SassyCat moved page Richard/Home to Richard Cromwell/Home without leaving a redirect: New Richard PC)
 
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The USDA once wanted to make cows produce milk faster; their best chance at improving the dairy industry.
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Suppose there are three sailors on weekend leave. They take it upon themselves to rent a motel room for drinking, fun, and discussions of both irradiated beef and inert shielding gas.
  
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They decided to consult the foremost biologists and recombinant DNA technicians to build them a better cow. They assembled this team of great scientists, and gave them unlimited funding. They requested rare chemicals, weird bacteria, tons of quarantine equipment--there was a horrible typhus epidemic they started by accident--and, 2 years later, they came back with the "new, improved cow."  It had a milk production improvement of 2% over the original.
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Upon arrival, the desk clerk tells them that it will cost thirty dollars for the three of them. Each sailor pulls a ten-dollar bill from his wallet, giving it to the desk clerk. The sailors retire to their retreat, already discussing their latest applications of Argon.
  
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They then tried with the greatest Nobel Prize winning chemists around. They worked for six months, and, after requisitioning tons of chemical equipment, and poisoning half the small town in Colorado where they were working with a toxic cloud from one of their experiments, they got a 5% improvement in milk output.
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A little while later, the desk clerk realizes he has made an error. The motel policy gives service members a five-dollar room rate discount, yet he forgot to apply the discount for the room that they have reserved. The clerk calls the busboy over, handing him five dollars and directing him to take the refund back to the sailors.
  
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The physicists tried for a year, and, after ten thousand cows were subjected to radiation therapy, they got a 1% improvement in output.
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The busboy, with a healthy respect for opportunism, has no idea how to split up five dollars evenly amongst the three seamen. He does, however, devise a solution of giving each man a one dollar refund. This allows the busboy to pay the sailors for their discounted room and pocket the other two dollars for himself.
  
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Finally, in desperation, they turned to the mathematicians.  The foremost mathematician of his time offered to help them with the problem.  Upon hearing the problem, he told the delegation that they could come back in the morning and he would have solved the problem. In the morning, they came back, and he handed them a piece of paper with the computations for the new, 300% improved milk cow.
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He knocks on the door, returns a single dollar to each man, then goes about his business.
  
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The plans began:
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Each sailor paid nine dollars = $27 total
  
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"A Proof of the Attainability of Increased Milk Output from Bovines: Consider a spherical cow..."
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The busboy kept two dollars = $2 total
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Where's the extra dollar?

Latest revision as of 16:55, 28 June 2022

Suppose there are three sailors on weekend leave. They take it upon themselves to rent a motel room for drinking, fun, and discussions of both irradiated beef and inert shielding gas.

Upon arrival, the desk clerk tells them that it will cost thirty dollars for the three of them. Each sailor pulls a ten-dollar bill from his wallet, giving it to the desk clerk. The sailors retire to their retreat, already discussing their latest applications of Argon.

A little while later, the desk clerk realizes he has made an error. The motel policy gives service members a five-dollar room rate discount, yet he forgot to apply the discount for the room that they have reserved. The clerk calls the busboy over, handing him five dollars and directing him to take the refund back to the sailors.

The busboy, with a healthy respect for opportunism, has no idea how to split up five dollars evenly amongst the three seamen. He does, however, devise a solution of giving each man a one dollar refund. This allows the busboy to pay the sailors for their discounted room and pocket the other two dollars for himself.

He knocks on the door, returns a single dollar to each man, then goes about his business.

Each sailor paid nine dollars = $27 total

The busboy kept two dollars = $2 total

Where's the extra dollar?

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